Hi! I have seeing many people here stating they r looking 4 a person, for marriage. When u read on the profile u find these people r SEPARATED. That, in fact, means they themselves R married.

My question 2 all, how can u look for a person 4 marriage when ur STILL married? And Why? If there even a possibility of a lasting romantic relationship when U have NOT FINISHED the other relation?

Guess you'd have to ask them that. But the ones I've come across state that in their profile and say friends first. As for me it tskes time to build a friendship and then move to thr next level. And I think we as all have plenty of time

I totally agree with you on that. Very few people who are serious on here .think most are on this site to have a bit of fun.

then your talking to the wrong men ive chatted with many good, sincere, decent men

As one of the seperated.....Hmmm....sounds like the next version of LOST.....new this season....The Seperated......sorry. I guess everyone has their own reasons, but pkh is right, they should be honest about everything and state they are looking for friendship. You cannot start a serious relationship when your life is in upheaval, it's not fair to the other person.

It's tough sometimes, you meet really lovely people on this site and have to remind yourself that if you truly care for them then just stay friends and be supportive.

Thanks 4 the reply!

I have asked many. Almost all get very defensive, question MY MOTIVES 4 ASKING, and then ignore my correspondence. Its quite a bit frustrating, but I guess some ppl do not like 2 be asked open ended question, or questions at all?

Only two answered that the process 4 divorce was very cumbersome and they did not have the money 2 do it.

We all know that! It is both.

Thanks Khima88. I am not here 4 fun: let me b clear, I am not against it, but im here really trying 2 connect with someone and take the time 2 get 2 know each other before anything physical is started.

Difficult 2 do, so far!

I guess people come on here for all kinds of reasons......needing money for divorce......scammers!!!


Personally, I started for the wrong reason......thought I was missing that someone special in my life.....some lovely people here (pkh, Storm, Teebee, no1phD...just to name a few) made me realize I was missing home and really wanted to meet people and have some fun.

I think you have the right idea, if you want to get to know someone who is separated, just ask them what the story ism, if they get defensive, probably best to move on. I'm always happy to answer any questions about my personal story.

.. it is the keeping one in the chamber at all times.. syndrome.. highly insecure
highly insensitive..
.. and a few other choice words...lol

The separated thing is somewhat confusing. I once got rejected from a dating site for choosing that option.
Thing is, I wasn't married to my ex, so I am not divorced. I have been divorced as well, after my husband and I split up 15 yrs ago (first relationship).
So now my profile does say "Divorced" which is a lie and doesn't sit well with me, because I wasn't married to my ex (2nd relationship). We split up, which as far as I'm concerned equals "separated".

I understand UR view.

Its just, 4 me a bit counter intuitive: if UR looking for marriage, and U CANNOT DO IT, what really ru looking for? Isn't that disingenuous?

As 4 ur case, UR still divorce, no matter how many relationships u've had. UR not married, not separated. Separated means UR yet to have a divorce. Its a legal issue, and the same all over the world, not a choice of semantics on how u feel or view urself 2b. Following UR view, all single ppl r "separated" when they break up. They R not married. Period. Legal issue.

Try cutting out the uneducated looking txt talk.
You might get somewhere.

Yeah...I don't get the "I want to get married" thing? If you are separated it didn't work out so great the last time! I'm thinking these people are just afraid of being alone.
Also, Separated, Divorced,single all of these are labels to me...for me..it's if he/ she is over the ex.
Married.. Is the only label that makes my decision.

There can be many reasons why people remain "separated" such as, religious, financial, complex issues regarding financial responsibilities for spouse and children from previous marriages, a missing nomadic spouse difficult to trace and there are probably many more reasons as well. If you are going to date someone who is only "separated" then you must be prepared to accept that marriage might not be an option. I am divorced and any perspective partner for me would need to be of single status, I would not be interested in anyone who is only "separated", because I would need their complete divorce from any previous marriage before I could consider any form of relationship with them, if only because "separated" to me means it is not final, there is always the possibility they could return to their spouse.

Well, if the two individuals truly want the divorce and have separated as adults and divided everything in a civil matter, the price is NOT an issue. I personally drew up and filed my own divorce papers through the courts with no attorney. The local fee for doing this is $141.00 and not the thousands you might spend for an attorney. Then, if you do not even have the base filing fee you can file an affidavit of indigency and the fee will be waived by the courts.

they may well be sincere and decent, but others might be saying they are separated with no intention of getting a divorce - just intending to fool around. Even tho I did date a little when I was separated - more like a little flirting around - I avoid men who are separated because of the drama potential and because they sometimes go back to their wives. I don;t care to talk to them online though, that's fine. I see no harm in it, but that would be my limit. Some don;t like to communicate with separated men because they feel it can't lead to anything and I tend to agree that's a waste of time if you are wanting to meet someone to be with now.

^this I think is the perfect attitude. he realizes the limits of what he can do right now

peeps with that answer are usually cheating IMO. I have been divorced and know the expenses

Here in England in the UK to complete the divorce process yourself, all the form filling and fees, the cost was over �400.00 GBP ($640.00 USD) ten years ago, it will be more now and I don't think there is any legal aid for divorce here. This results in many people here not bothering with divorce after a split up in my opiniion.

Get divorced in Sweden it's free. :-)