I notice that at 24 you are divorced .. Just wondering .. Did you take your own advice ???

If you had followed your own advice would you still be divorced ??

Ohh.. throws his hands up in the air..
. shakes his head..
. and says.. as he's exiting room.. I just quit .

Oh no .. I got the point ... Once a quitter .. Not always a quitter :-)

Thanks johnny rebel ..or is it the love guru .. Winking

paragraphs are your friend...just saying.

Nobody likes a quitter....am I right? Of course I'm right!! Back in the day, people used to get married at ages as young as 15, and stayed together throughout their lifetime!!! I suppose they were just born in a time where if something was broke- they fixed it....not throw ot away. Now days- 2/3 marriages end in divorce. It's as though everyone just quits every time things get a little bit difficult. Bottom line- if you are looking for something worth having- it's going to require a little work, nothing worth having is free, and the only guarantees in life are taxes and death. I see many people complaining about this and that, many factors seem to take a toll on relationships in these modern times, jealousy, insecurity, disloyalty, you name it- the only way to put an end to all of this is for people to start setting standards for theirselves. Lifetime relationships(marriage) consists of continuous give and take, diehard loyalty, having faith, and quitting never even being thought of. Before one can have faith in another, they must have faith in their self. (Have faith in God before yourself in my opinion) having faith in yourself allows you to be self dependent, knowing your strengths, and having confidence and self respect. A man should never let go his confidence, not only for himself, but for the welfare of his family, it is his job to ensure the welfare of his family, someone with no self confidence cannot be relied on. Don't be that guy, nobody wants to depend on that guy. Be strong, confident, be a man! If you already have self confidence you're in good shape, if not- get some. Now you must develop a plan, set goals for yourself, have a little ambition towards making a decent living. You don't necessarily have to be a doctor or a lawyer, just simply find something constructive that you enjoy doing and start working at it, if nothing else, just get a job. Plan ahead...no respectable woman is going to want a guy that can't even take care of themselves. If you've already got a job and self confidence- the rest of this should be very easy. Now it's time to set standards for what your looking for, no, I'm not talking about simple physical standards, but don't cut yourself short there either. By all means talk to women you are physically attracted to, don't cut yourself short of nothing!! more importantly is moral compatibility, if you must, sit down and get yourself a notebook and write down different things you would like in a lady, think about your own moral values, don't be sarcastic, be serious. Think about things pertaining to your ideas of "right" and "wrong", once again- plan ahead, if your looking for a keeper, think about the possibility of having children with your partner(don't bring this up to her) just think about the morals and ethics you would want to teach your children (even if you have none yet), you want someone who is going to help you raise them the way you want them raised, not someone who thinks completely different...do you know how confused they would be? politics is always a great thing to consider when doing this, a conversation on politics is a great way to quickly get an idea about ones moral values and ethics. For example: think about how you feel about political issues such as firearms, healthcare, gay rights, abortion, etc. write down questions pertaining to things like this, how do you feel about these things? are they right or wrong, and it doesn't have to be politics, it can be anything you can use that's similar, but politics is usually the best, go ahead and answer all the questions you've written down, next time you talk to a lady, ask her the questions and see how y'all's answers match up. Do not carry a notebook with you on your date. Lol. This can possibly make you look like a tool, actually study your questions and try to memorize at least most of them. Don't ask her a bunch of questions at once of course, just gradually throughout conversation, and if she asks why your asking...don't be afraid to tell her that you are seeking compatibility, someone with a like mind, similar moral values and ethics. Throw in a few more questions pertaining to other things- example: are you ambitious? What are some of your goals? You are developing standards at this point. Seeking compatibility helps one to find someone they will better get along and agree with. I mean- there's a chance if you like this person you could end up marrying them, right? No matter what the liberal media would like you to think, there is absolutely nothing wrong with judging others, its just something that you have to do if your going to survive. Nobody wants to be miserable, if you just go around accepting others differences, especially women your trying to date, they are most likely going to end up turning on you, hating you, and you'll both be miserable....why put yourself through that?...Best to get these things out of the way quick, women who meet your kind of moral standards will typically like you for who you are, and of course you will like them for who they are because YOU set the standards! Continue to study her, continue to set standards and ask questions every time y'all date, the more time you spend with her, the more you will learn about her. Strive to learn something new every time you see her. Be very inquisitive, ask questions, make sure she isn't just putting on a show, question everything. When in doubt, just be honest with yourself...if you can't have faith in her now, do you really think you will later? Do not get attached until you are completely satisfied that she meets the standards, and if you fail to do this, get attached, and she ends up breaking your little heart, then YOU have failed. You must set your standards high enough to ensure that she is not someone who is just going to use you, or simply quit every time things get a little bit difficult. Never just tell them what they want to hear- if they don't meet the standard, be straight with them, be polite, but don't kiss tail. For instance, like those questions I told you to write down- if her answers don't match yours then simply don't waste your time, you are not compatible, no matter how good she looks, don't be intimidated by her- tell her straight that she just doesn't cut it and thank her for her time, she may take it well, she may not, regardless- you have weeded out what does not meet the standard and you are free to move on to the next one. You've never lost anything that you never had in the first place. see? That isn't that hard, now, its time to put this to work for you, and it does work, hey and not only will you have found a lady that you are physically attracted to, but also a lady who likes you for who you are, and you will not only admire her for her looks, but for her personality, moral values, and her ethics. Once you have chosen the lady of your dreams, one who completely meets your standards, has your desirable looks, personality, moral values, and ethics, then take care of her, have faith in her, you will be surprised to learn that since you actually went about your search the RIGHT way, she will also take care of you, and she will have faith in you. Learn to love it, after all, in your eyes, she will be the greatest lady in the world!! You can find happiness, a lady you can take pride in. Now you must maintain what you have started, remember, a man should never let go his confidence, be reliable, be there for your lady, be dependable. You may still find yourself in disagreements from time to time, every couple will fight, compatibility does cut it down for the most part- but you are still on different sides of the fence every couples fight. It's natural. I would suggest making a rule never to go to bed mad at one another. Always remember- its not the good times, but how you get through the hard times that makes you- quitting can never be an option, not for either of you. It's much harder and more respectable to live for someone than it is to die for them. Independent loyalty just so happens to be my very most respected characteristic in a person. If anyone has anything they'd like to add to this, questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to share your input. I hope this at least helps one person, I'm just so tired of seeing people give up this is not some "pick up artist" psych method for picking up women...it's just keeping things simple and being straight forward, it's a way for you to prevent failure, save time, and find happiness. Good luck!!

Some guy I was dating for years, gradually turned into an alcoholic. Unfortunately I had to give him up, because he was destroying everyone around him. His family, friends, etc. He kept promising to go to rehab to get it sorted, but he just kept putting it off. It was the same cycle over and over again. He was naggy when he was sober. Don't get me wrong, I did love and support him, but I was just fed up of himself never sorting himself out.