Topic: Dating single moms yeah or nay?
smartwithsparks's photo
Sat 06/28/14 06:08 AM
Good Morning Stormwaving

damfa's photo
Sat 06/28/14 07:04 AM
If they used a barrier they would not be a single momlaugh

MariahsFantasy's photo
Sat 06/28/14 07:19 AM

My friends second wife told me no matter how old the kids get they never totally leave you. She has 3 from prior marriage and he has none. Needless to say they caused some drama in their marriage.

Is it wise to date a single mom knowing that the kids will get in the way of the relationship? I hate it when you make reservations and they get blown away due to a kid problem. Am I being a selfish SOB or just should stay away from that situation?


It's hard to answer this question. And it's very ironic I say this because I am personally very good with kids, it's my livelihood. I am a part time caretaker and nanny to various people. It doesn't scare me. But, I had experiences with single dads out there that rock this decision for me in part. It is a huge undertaking if I enter this situation as they do come with drama especially if loose ends are not tied and done.

Not everyone is meant/born to do this, so you lot can stop judging back. Even though this is his opinion (don't agree with the name calling but whatever) he's allowed to have it. Judging someone for judging others? Really? Do you hear yourselves? That's not cool. I know I'm a bit younger than everyone here but that doesn't mean I don't watch this stuff as it goes down.

That being said, would I take a chance on a single dad again? I don't know. Single dads are often a slippery eel. Their kids/children are their #1 priority, as they should be, but I personally find it a bit unsettling to enter a relationship with a man who has already created a family that remains a part of his life forever. I remain uneasy. They always put their kid first and in other ways, still want to work it out with their exes. Again, a pattern I see.

So I really don't know, I hope my outlook changes because I really enjoy children and kids, I just wish if I'm seeing a single dad exclusively that he knows I exist as well.

damfa's photo
Sat 06/28/14 07:26 AM
Mariah

Now this lady understands a guys point of view and her own

no1phD's photo
Sat 06/28/14 08:01 AM
well I'm sure my little sister..
is very grateful that my step mom..
which by the way I hate that term..lol.
took a chance.. to get to know my dad.. despite ,the fact that he already had four children , from a previous marriage!.. or should I say.. for the OP's sake..4 pieces of baggage..
rofl ... it must not have been easy.
for her. coming into a ready-made family so to speak.. but luckily for us 5!.. she was able to see past.. the obstacles that lay ahead.. but see my dad.. for the compassionate hard working.. caring.. loving man that he was!!. and again for the OP sake... what was the word.. village stud...laugh ... she took a big chance when it would have been easier just to walk the other way.. I guess she just saw the character of the man.. and fell in love with his strength.. his determination not to just walk away.. and leave his children.. in an orphanage.. but being the real man that he is.. he did his best he could to raise the four of us.
. and I know it wasn't easy for him.. I am sure there where days he wish he probably left us with the orphanage..lol.. but when my step mom entered his life... things changed.. he was happier. we were all happier.. he had someone to share his life with. she was happy she found a man. with strength and character.. and she had more than enough love for all of us..... stepping up might not be for everyone.
if a person can't see more than just loving them self.. or has nothing to offer children.. then yes don't get involved.. with a parent..
. but for myself. I'm glad my stepmom took a chance on getting involved. with a man, a real man. who is simply doing his best.
to go through this journey we call life... have a great day everybody.

.

Copper Nitrogen Titanium's photo
Sat 06/28/14 12:13 PM
Dating a single parent isn't for everyone. I personally cannot see myself again dating, for long term, a man who does not have children of his own. It is a personal choice I have made founded in truths shown to me.

But at your age OP, I wish you the best of luck in finding a single woman without children who is willing and wanting to date you.

isaac_dede's photo
Sat 06/28/14 12:14 PM
I want to clarify something here, just so people know.

I have just as much respect for the man that decides he doesn't want children and chooses to not to create them

As I do for the man that decides(I dislike the term 'steps-up' because it implies he is better than someone who doesn't) to take on another man's family.


They are both individual choices that take determination, and responsibility to follow through with. I see both as reason's to respect someone.

I may not respect the guy that has children, and walks away from his responsibilities, but that is another topic.



msharmony's photo
Sat 06/28/14 12:30 PM
Edited by msharmony on Sat 06/28/14 12:33 PM
simple answer is to date childless virgins, more likely to give you all their attention if they have no other concerns or interests to interfere with the relationship, and more likely to think you are king of the world being that they have nothing to compare you to,,,,


or


date upstanding people while understanding upstanding has nothing to do with parental status,,,


and remember, worthwhile relationships are rarely 'easy' and will call for compromises on some level or another,, its not all about 'me' anymore, its about 'us' and that entails joining lives and not just expecting the other to totally adopt ours and let go of their own,,,,

damfa's photo
Sat 06/28/14 03:21 PM
Edited by damfa on Sat 06/28/14 03:22 PM
The Modern Man

Having Sex With a Single Mother
by Dan Bacon

Are Single Mothers Easy to Pick Up?

Generally speaking, there is less competition to date and have a relationship with a single mother than other women, because most men don't want to pay to raise another man's child or have to deal with the "other man" in her life. Since there is less competition, single mothers usually don't play as hard to get as a typical woman, so yes, it is often easier to pick up a single mom.

This is not to say that all single mothers are an "easy lay" or desperately looking to jump into a serious relationship immediately. Many single mothers are intelligent, savvy women who just happened to accidentally get pregnant to a boyfriend, or who had a child with a guy who didn't turn out to be the right man after all. So, don't look at these women as though they are any less special, smart of deserving of your respect than other women are. Single moms are usually just the same as other women, except they are plus one. When you meet a single mother, the same rules of attraction apply and she will looking to see if you're a confident alpha male who will be a great boyfriend and lover or a nervous, insecure, shy guy who is hoping to get lucky.

Be Honest About Your Intentions

That said, there are some single mothers who definitely want "just sex" or who just a replacement father figure or even someone to help pay her bills. If she doesn't mention her children until later in the conversation and, for all intents and purposes, acts as though she is single, then she's probably just looking to have a one night stand or casual relationship with you.

Once you know her intentions and you have determined what you want, you can take it from there. Suggesting that a single mother join you at your place for a drink (or head to her house to let the babysitter go home) will result in a "Yes" more often than other women who aren’t in as much of a rush to find a guy. If she says, "No" just remind her of how difficult it is for her to have free time like she has that night and suggest that she just have some fun. Most women will then happily act on that suggestion and open themselves up to having a fun, one night stand with you.

Dealing With Her Ex

When in a relationship with a single mother, you will have to deal with an ex-boyfriend or ex-husband at some stage. After all, someone fathered her child. As you get deeper into the relationship, you should anticipate that her children eventually will become a part of your life as well. If you can handle not being the center of her world and are secure enough and willing to deal with all that comes along with dating a single mother, then you just may find that the rewards of finding your perfect woman – baggage and all – is worth all of the extra effort you have to put into the relationship.


spoonio's photo
Sat 06/28/14 03:40 PM
I dated a single mom with 2 kids and helped raised them as my own, we later had 2 children together, sadly she is no longer here, so miss her :heart:

msharmony's photo
Sat 06/28/14 03:49 PM
Edited by msharmony on Sat 06/28/14 03:51 PM
bless you,,,

'easy' women are easy and their parental status really wont change that

IN this day and age, I would think it RARE to find a woman past thirty. who is interested in having a family, who has had no children and if she is looking to date, hopefully, that means she is a single parent,,,

people should be cautious in assuming anything about a person based upon nothing but their parental status

Im a single mother and Im much CHOOSIER because of it, because this person can potentially be not just in my life but my childs,, for that reason the 'example' they set is just as important as how 'attracted' I am to them,,

which was all I had to concern myself with as a single and childless woman,,,




damfa's photo
Sat 06/28/14 04:14 PM
Professional educated women tend to hold off having kids till their careers are established. On the other hand there is a significant difference in out of wedlock births based on race.


Queene123's photo
Sat 06/28/14 04:19 PM
i have dated several men
when my kids were little
and that never
interfered with
my relationship
with the guy
i was with
nor with my kids

now if the guy
told me to choose
he would be out that door

my family comes first
before any freakn man


so are you against woman
that have had children
out of wedlock


geeze

msharmony's photo
Sat 06/28/14 04:27 PM
Edited by msharmony on Sat 06/28/14 04:28 PM

Professional educated women tend to hold off having kids till their careers are established. On the other hand there is a significant difference in out of wedlock births based on race.





this is information about ONE YEAR and the 'recent' births within it,,,



people have priorities

men and women can focus on their degrees and status and probably aren't as likely to risk it by taking on the effort and time of raising children,,




but formal (paid) education is also not an indication of character ,, though it can indicate some ability to focus on a goal,,,



and of course, none of that is ANY indicator of how 'easy' someone is, just how determined they are to not have kids,, for whatever reason,,

with both abortion and birth control being more likely choices to childbirth,,,,

MariahsFantasy's photo
Sat 06/28/14 04:32 PM
Edited by MariahsFantasy on Sat 06/28/14 04:34 PM

i have dated several men
when my kids were little
and that never
interfered with
my relationship
with the guy
i was with
nor with my kids

now if the guy
told me to choose
he would be out that door

my family comes first
before any freakn man


so are you against woman
that have had children
out of wedlock

geeze


That is the mentality of the single dad today and it's not wrong at all.

The problem stems mainly from the huge responsibility in taking care of a child, being there and raising them, big, never ending, chaotic, beautiful, blessing, selfless lifestyle makes things harder for him personally. For single dads (not all, some) it can be hard for them to find anyone because their children are top priority. They will always be important. Regardless of them asking you to choose they will always choose their blood. I admire them for this.

But...

They won't choose both. Hardly the case, neither here nor there.

damfa's photo
Sat 06/28/14 05:02 PM
Edited by damfa on Sat 06/28/14 05:06 PM
Oh well that was a chart of unwed mothers by race which showed a dramatic difference amongst races


msharmony's photo
Sat 06/28/14 05:14 PM
whoa

Mellishsexy's photo
Sat 06/28/14 06:19 PM
I would u look amazing msg back

damfa's photo
Sun 06/29/14 03:44 AM
For some reason having kids that say "You are not my father and cant tell me what to do" does not sit well with me.

Could put up with this scenario for a quick pump and dump but not LTR. Bad situation to be in and the freshness of her charms would get stale quick.

no photo
Sun 06/29/14 05:34 AM

Most Mothers are special, very very special, regardless of whether they are single or not.