A woman who I became friends with through work over the last 5 years is going through some difficult times. Her boyfriend of about 10 years who also works with us is on the verge of leaving her. Over the past 2 years she has started texting me, telling me that she is unhappy in life and no longer loves her boyfriend. She constantly tells me all the things wrong with him over & over. I have tried to give her advice but she don't listen. I have tried to just listen as a friend but its always the same old thing & she does nothing to change her situation. I have point blank told her that I do not want to be involved because they are both friends of mine. I have actually known him longer.

She spent an entire day last week crying over something & just kept telling everyone she was ill. She was very unproductive & I covered for her all day. The next day upon entering my office I found her sitting in the dark at her desk crying & miserable. I sent her home for the day because when she was asked not so nicely by another coworker what was wrong then she rudely threw a pen across the room swearing & crying & its nobody's business. She is lucky the top boss didn't catch her outburst.

I'm to the point where I don't really care if they split up or not and I don't want to hear anymore of the drama. She is a nice person and a really great work mate when she is fully functional. She did tell me she is seeking professional help. I think she may be lying because she has lied about things in the past for attention. I don't want her to lose her job but I am so tired of it and it is becoming more obvious this week that she has some serious, serious issues. I'm just stepping back and trying to not associate with her other then work purposes. I will not totally turn my back on her because she is my friend but its starting to affect the workplace & the boss is now watching her. I am not going to jeopardize my job for anyone.

Anyone ever experience anything like this? What would you do??

I have never understood why, when people are in agony,
they have to cover the whole place with it.

I have decided, they need attention.
They need sympathy.
They want someone to take on part of the burden for them.

If you are willing, so be it.
If not..hide.

Ty Soufie!

At first I was concerned and trying to help her but its getting ridiculous.

Seriously reading the words I just typed here put into more perspective for me & thinking about all the things that she's done,,,...its obvious she is ploying to stop him from leaving and trying to get attention.

a debbie downer at work huh. misery loves company. don't recall ever going through this at any place i worked. looks like extreme circumstances call for extreme measures
on you part you can find a new job, move, change your identity and for pete's sake don't leave a forwarding address
OR
you can get your coworker hooked on crystal meth. she'll forget her troubles and be more productive. an added bonus is that if you become her supplier you'll have extra cash at the end of the month

you know what, scratch all that, i got nothing

for guys it's a little different..
.... we tell them to get their chit together... And get over it ..
.... and then we get them really drunk and getting him laid... sorry but we do..

She sounds like a pouting brat, that or depressed. If you are concerned she will hurt herself or others, ring mental health and they will intervene. Other than that, there is little you can do, she is not your responsibility.

I am on the same situation I am in the verge of separation right now and I do need company. My two sons are so annoyed of me being a drama queen.. They told me to stop the drama and leave their dad. I'm trying to collect myself I seek professional help... My situation is something you don't wanna get into... So I prayed a lot and try to chat with you guys to distract my mind...

Tell her to get a grip and act like an adult. Some people need to be reminded that their place of work is to work and emotional outbursts are inappropriate. Some people will disrupt a whole office with drama just to get attention. Tell her, if you want, that you will go have a drink with her after work but the office is not the place for drama.

Her actions cannot but detract from everyone else's attention.

She probably needs good professional help and medication or at least supplements. It's probably a chemical/physical problem like most mental disorders. She may not be able to help herself due to the impairment if she has one.

Got any meth?

This is exactly what its boiling down to except I'm NOT going to offer to have a drink with her.

David yes I think she does need professional help. In the past when they had problems she went to the emergency room saying she's sick. She told everyone at work she had problems with her throat and her Dr. wanted her tested right away, everyone was worried about her ..... but the hospital sent her home with acid reflux & gave her heartburn medicine.

if you can truly call her a friend then you should support her and keep on telling her she needs professional help. if you consider her a real friend you shouldn't give up on her.

when i was in the marine corps, i went through a water survival course. one of the lessons was on helping a drowning person. if the person was panicking, the lesson was to kick away and let them drown. now us leathernecks have this thing about "no marine left behind" so at first i was thinking there was no way i would let another jarhead go down. the lesson was that if you stay and struggle with someone that is panicking, you'll both drown. so you let them drown and then tow them to safety where a medic can do cpr and hopefully revive them. if not, well at least you have something to put in the body bag home

all that to say, sometimes you have to let someone drown so that you don't end up drowning with them

she might need professional help.
however if she doesn't want to be helped, nothing you do or say can help.
good luck

I do call her a friend and I have tried to support her for quite awhile now but she ignores all help and suggestions and its just getting worse. I already chose to step away before she resents me for meddling.

Bulldog~ She will have to drown so to speak because I am done with it. Though I do feel a bit guilty but she is the one who isn't trying to swim.

Dream~ you are correct she does need help...I think at first I felt bad thinking that her b.f was the cause of her problems . After this past week I do see her irrational behavior. I have suggested it to her and she said she is seeking help. Now, I'm done.

Dawnette, It sounds like you have done all you can do. You have suggested her getting professional help for her behavior. If she looks for professional help that is great, but if she doesn't don't let her pull you down also.