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Topic: no contact , will she comeback?
cookiedough92's photo
Wed 05/13/15 03:09 PM
ok this is complicated first off let's start with the type of girl that she is , I can't even figure it out myself.
She is 18 her father is iranian and her mother is ukranian.Still a teen but pretty mature and smart , has PMS , is kind of narcissistic she admits it.She also adores beards like really a huge turn on for her physically.And also likes extremely dominant men.She had a passage in her life where she took alot of drugs to the point where she would wake up in the hospital and at that time she was also a slut but me I don't judge the past is the past...

OK so when we decided to start a relationship we had some terms such as : no talking to other girls when she wasnt around in real life or social media and the same for her with boys.

so me im actually not her type , I do not have a beard i'm dominant but not to the extreme I believe the man should be in charge but when i trust someone i give them freedom.But she fell in love with me and I also fell in love with her it wasn't love on the first sight but as we started to know more and more about each other that's where the spark started.

Now at first she was really the one running after me always afraid that I would dump her or leave her , as long as she didn't cheat i wasn't planning to leave her anytime soon.

the relationship builds up we have our fights ect.. ups and down no brake ups tho , something that i noticed that i usually did wrong was when we argued and she really got on my nerves i would insult her without meaning it but it just comes out she also kind of asked for it but it's still no excuse for the way i would insult her , many times.i will explain further why.

She would tell me that from the outside i look like a man and dominant but when we argued sometimes i would act like a ***** she said i was too submissive sometimes and if i didnt act like a ***** i would act like an ******* according to her so i wasw orking on that to be more dominant , the thing is i really never knew what type of dominance she wanted , she was never clear about it what i realised now is that she wanted me to forbid her doing things that where not good for her , but the problem was i was thinking to myself she is 18 im not raising a child right??what eveer let's just say i was working on my dominant side.

A few months later she goes on a vaction trip with her mother in spain , i could not be there with her due to work and school parttime.We would text each other thru facebook while she was on vacation , in the beginning everything was still fine but a few days later into the trip we started to argue alot about stupid things , many times I lost my temper and insulted her again and again but apologising everytime.The fights where like this usually example ; iback home sh ewould never party and rarely drink on her way to spain she text me and says oo i feel so horny right know i'm gonna go out tonight and have some good drinks.I would say why are you saying thi swhat is wrong with you bla bla bla she would end the fight with what you don't trust me ? i'm not going to have sex what do you think i'm a slut?And I know she was loyal but the way she spoke about going out and stuff concerned me , many times she said stuf like that to make me jealous? I don't know..

So this last fight is where it all went wrong she asked me if it was ok if she went out a night with some girls and guys that she met at the hotel and i said no because of the guys if it was just girls i would say ok but no guys that was the decision we made no guys where im not around because if i ever wanted to go to a party or whatever i could not go without her , i told here when i go somewhere i just go out with my bro's you know no ladies , then she said oo but i trust you you know.the reason why i said no that she could not go out with that group of people is beccause i wanted to show her my dominance right , so she says ok but im going anyways i just wanted to hear you say yes ,so at that moment i was like ok so it doesnt matter what i say you will do it anyway ok have fun then i do not want ruin your vacation , then she says you see your are not a man you dont stand by your principles.i was getting really pist and said ok you know what now you have a choice either you choose me or that group that you barely know , if you choose them you don't have to talk to me anymore , she replied ok then we are done talking , i said are you serious you choose them??over me??She said look that's how you need to be in the future more dominant i like that , but i was so aggrovated i said yes but i wont be dominant with you because your choice is clear , and again.. i insulted her....

The last fight we had she said if i would insult her one more time she would leave so she blocked my fb my number everything.

thru an other account i apologised again that i didn't expect that choice from her ect... i was asking her if i could call her to talk this out because i hate arguing thru chat exspecially a brake up.
She would lie to me an dsay look i cheated on you twice bla bla bla so that i would leave her i would say it's my fault that you cheated on me i should have been more of a man ect... her final meesage to me before she blocked that account too was : Listen i din not cheat in you i just wanted you to leave me i realised that we don't match , i love you but not enough i guess i just want the best for you take care.

So the only way i could respond was to ask a friend to send her a msg thru whatsapp and i asked ; look i asked you a 1000 times before if you where sure that you wanted me , i asked her several times just out of nowhere , after fights , many times and she always said yes i'm sure i love you that was my confirmation that she really loved me so i opened up for her completely , her response was i was mistaken that's human no? humans make mistakes and that we just don't fit together it's not only the insults but that we dont fit that i'm just not her type.

Okk I might understand but she could be just a little more respectful than breaking up thru chat the last thing was i said to my friend to tell her to thank her for all the good moments we had and she replied thank him too and taht's the last i heard from her it's been 2 days now she will comeback from vacation in 2 weeks and i'm wondering will she maybe comeback , does have here PMS? I just don't know it just all unexpected because now i opened up for her fallen completely in love and she just left me on vacation thru text....


(sorry for my english im just tired and it's not my native language)








Annierooroo's photo
Wed 05/13/15 03:29 PM
Edited by Annierooroo on Wed 05/13/15 03:33 PM
Wow dude you sound like a nice guy.
I think you need to get over this chick and find someone that is more suitable for you.
Take your time. Don't rush.

no photo
Wed 05/13/15 03:34 PM
TOXIC RELATIONSHIP .
And I'm sorry to say, you both sound on the same emotional level.
.Cut ties with her. Take a break. Start over. Good luck. flowers

JustScribbles's photo
Wed 05/13/15 03:38 PM
Cut your losses, dude.

She actually sounds like fun - unpredictable, frisky - but she's lookin' for Daddy to put his foot down. You don't sound like that. You get your feelings hurt and lash out. That works for her, short-term. Long term, she doesn't - and isn't going to - respect that. This is a disaster in the making. She's going to push you, you're going to react and the results are iffy.

She pushes your buttons. That's NOT a good thing. For either of y'all.




cookiedough92's photo
Wed 05/13/15 03:47 PM
first i want to thank yall for your replies and maybe i should add this , i think she has a mental problem but honestly it didnt really bother me instead of only the negatives let me bring up th egood stuff , example when i'm at wordk or school we constantly text each other just talking to each other we can talk on , and on , and on , and on.... she adores kids like children are precious for her , a few months ago she told me she wanted my babies lol , her mum was happy to see her happy all the because of me and invited me to go on vacation with them but i couldnt because school and work many times she texted me i wish you were here...

cookiedough92's photo
Wed 05/13/15 03:57 PM
yess of course but she lives 100km from where i live whe live in belgium me in brussels the center and she at the coast ostend , she would come over to my place and sleep , we would usually see each other 2-3 times a week

JustScribbles's photo
Wed 05/13/15 03:58 PM
...and my response is the same. She sounds like fun. She, like most any 'Daddy's girl' on the planet, also knows guys.

The issue comes down to this: Are you lookin' for advice or are you looking for validation because you want her back and every friggin' thing inside you is screaming 'what do I do now?'


Goofball73's photo
Wed 05/13/15 03:59 PM
I stopped reading when you wrote the word "complicated". All the other stuff you wrote doesn't matter. If it's complicated then it usually means it ain't working dude. Unless she has big boobs....which in that case you work it out no matter the cost. :tongue: laugh

cookiedough92's photo
Wed 05/13/15 04:02 PM
she doesnt have big boobs im more of an assman but i wasnt just looking for someone to mess around with not worth th e100km and the same goes for her , if she wanted a sexbuddy there where plenty of boys in her neighbourhood why even bother with me

cookiedough92's photo
Wed 05/13/15 04:06 PM
want her back i don't know yet , i actually want to see her or call her atleast and talk this out so we can maybe just be friends or end this in a more respectful way in a more mature way yes i still have many questions i want to ask her that i will probably never now , im just not contacting her until she does

cookiedough92's photo
Wed 05/13/15 04:09 PM
to make things clear it wasnt a realtionship based of looks physically i wasnt her "ideal" man as she wasnt my "ideal" woman but once we connected i didnt even care if she put on make up or not if her hair wasnt done she was always beautiful in my eyes

cookiedough92's photo
Wed 05/13/15 04:13 PM
it's just so unexpected while she is on vacation to brake up with me the day before she was telling me how bad she missed me ect.. i'm just confused , it's actually up to her to make the decision for contact she blocked me and it's up to her to unblock me

michele63's photo
Wed 05/13/15 04:50 PM
^^^^^^^^^^
hey you. love the pic and the hair color. havent seen you in a bit. last time i was on i heard through the grapevine you were in mingle jail. you bad bad girl. hahahaha. looking good nice to see you blondie. now its my turn for the tan. happy happy laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh flowerforyou :tongue:

no photo
Wed 05/13/15 04:59 PM
no contact , will she comeback?

Probably.
Unless something better comes along.
You're basically in a toy relationship that she got tired of and stuck on a shelf.
If she wants to play with you again, she'll come back.
If she finds a new toy or thinks a new toy is coming out soon she'll go after that.
You're only useful and desired as long as you offer her drama and validation.

Listen i din not cheat in you i just wanted you to leave me i realised that we don't match , i love you but not enough i guess i just want the best for you take care.

Haven't you watched any movies like white fang or lassie or lilo and stitch or e.t. or countless others?
You know where the master tries to "protect" the dumb pet by throwing rocks at the dumb beast yelling "go away! I hate you!" even though they are doing it to protect the stupid animal?

That's what this is.
Only she's not trying to protect you, only her self image.

You were her pet for a while.
If she feels like she needs something to pet and play with she'll come back.

cookiedough92's photo
Wed 05/13/15 05:12 PM
interesting but you can never be sure about her behaviour , another thing but i really don't judge the she did have longterm relationshp her first boyfriend was when she was 11 years old an d lasted a good 5 years she lost her virginity when she was 12 and her boyfriend at the time was 17 , she showed me pictures of her when she was younger she looked older than she was and also her father wasn't really there in her childhood

Rock's photo
Wed 05/13/15 05:17 PM
Edited by Rock on Wed 05/13/15 05:19 PM

it's just so unexpected while she is on vacation to brake up with me the day before she was telling me how bad she missed me ect.. i'm just confused , it's actually up to her to make the decision for contact she blocked me and it's up to her to unblock me


Well... Given your initial description of her, "slut",
odds are, there's a new pen or two, dippin' in that
ink well.


If, that's something you're willing to put up with,
by all means, wait for her.

no photo
Wed 05/13/15 05:20 PM
not sure exactly who is narcassistic....but you don;t "give" somemone their freedom. It is theirs you have no control over it. that's a "learning curve"

She's sounds immature and maybe too young at this point jmho

no photo
Wed 05/13/15 05:22 PM

TOXIC RELATIONSHIP .
And I'm sorry to say, you both sound on the same emotional level.
.Cut ties with her. Take a break. Start over. Good luck. flowers


agree mostly with you but at least he seems to have some concern for the direction of things. Of course we don;t have her "side"

It takes time to learn that we really cannot control our relationships with othersflowerforyou

no photo
Wed 05/13/15 05:24 PM
I didn't read through everyone's responses but I'm sure they've said it. First off if a relationship is nothing but fighting and drama who needs it. Love and life is so much more than that. She walked away. Let her go. She needs time to mature and you can use the time to decide if she is really what you want in a partner. Its good to take as step back sometimes and refocus.

PacificStar48's photo
Wed 05/13/15 05:25 PM
Edited by PacificStar48 on Wed 05/13/15 05:28 PM
Count your blessing this messed up chick dumped you probably to cow tow to another guy.

Get your head on straight and get in a relationship you are not being dictated and bullied in and where your partner will not tolerate it either.

You have too many rules for no rules relationships. Sounds like all of them in here favor but you are only deluding yourself if you think you are dominant. Sounds like you got a little sumthing sumthing and lost your mind.

If her Daddy had caught on you might have lost a lot more.

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