Topic: trust
no photo
Wed 06/10/15 03:40 AM
Is it so difficult to trust some one:-(

no photo
Wed 06/10/15 03:42 AM
depends...

regularfeller's photo
Wed 06/10/15 04:25 AM

depends...


Most incontinent people trust Depends!

:laughing:

no photo
Wed 06/10/15 05:28 AM


depends...


Most incontinent people trust Depends!

:laughing:


exactly my point! laugh

TMommy's photo
Wed 06/10/15 06:22 AM
Just in case somebody pisses ya offbigsmile

abbylisa's photo
Wed 06/10/15 08:11 AM
it's hard to find a real one mostly they are liars and cheater

SitkaRains's photo
Wed 06/10/15 10:15 AM

it's hard to find a real one mostly they are liars and cheater

what one person believes is a liar, or cheater will be something totally different to another...This is in both sexes...


OP trust is a personal option to do or not to do..
I have found when trust is hard to give I have to look into myself to see if the vibe is coming from me or them. IF I know I am okay then I look harder at the said person.

no photo
Wed 06/10/15 10:29 AM
Is it so difficult to trust some one

Yes.
Why wouldn't it be?

Look how we're meeting people to potentially form life long relationships with.

I mean it's easy to trust someone you were kinda forced to grow up with, went to school with, were around them every day, experienced the same things in life together, then decided to get married and have kids, or your parents decide you need to marry someone and they are always around to support and help you, social infrastructure if you will.

Or you work together/see each other doing hobbies, are around them every day or weekend, with all the other people around you, and then start dating them.

That's a far cry from signing onto a computer, looking at a glass screen, reading some black text associated with a random picture, trying to find some sense of security in meeting and dating a stranger no one else knows or may ever know, completely alone, living alone, being judged a failure or dependent if you aren't, with all other social relationships only as close as text on your phone or facebook page.

Thank god it's difficult to trust people.

Trust comes from either taking a huge risk in making yourself vulnerable for no real benefit, or experiencing consistent behavior and beliefs, coming to know them even if you don't realize it and what you can trust them with and what you can't (which is important because trust isn't an absolute that changes people making them magically trustworthy with things they weren't trustworthy with before) over time.


We aren't living in a community of people that is interdependent and knows each other.
There's no real reason why people need to be trustworthy anymore.
Nor is there history, or accurate history if you do a background check, to determine how trustworthy someone is.
And there are no consequences to being untrustworthy that offer any insurance to you in case someone happens to be untrustworthy.

So it should be difficult to trust people.

sanam987's photo
Wed 06/10/15 10:37 AM
Well its difficult but solution is dnt open ur all cards till u really have trust on other

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Wed 06/10/15 05:09 PM


it's hard to find a real one mostly they are liars and cheater

what one person believes is a liar, or cheater will be something totally different to another...This is in both sexes...


OP trust is a personal option to do or not to do..
I have found when trust is hard to give I have to look into myself to see if the vibe is coming from me or them. IF I know I am okay then I look harder at the said person.



I think this is on the money.

To put it a different way, most of the time when I experience a sense of distrust, it is because I feel vulnerable, and unready. After all, if I ONLY don't trust someone, the solution is simple: eject them from my life. It is only when I feel vulnerable to them, when I want them to remain in my life, that the sense of distrust actually matters.

Therefore, one way to deal with a sense of distrust, is to work instead on your sense of vulnerability. In obvious situations, such as when you are about to make a purchase, and you find you don't trust the sales person, don't try to find a way to make yourself trust them.

Find a way to make it so that it doesn't MATTER whether they are trustworthy or not. Your trust will grow naturally after enough transactions with them demonstrate their worthiness of your trust.

The same general sort of procedure can work with more...interesting relationships as well.

no photo
Wed 06/10/15 05:54 PM

Is it so difficult to trust some one:-(




I trust myself not to trust anyone what

2469nascar's photo
Wed 06/10/15 06:07 PM


it's hard to find a real one mostly they are liars and cheater

what one person believes is a liar, or cheater will be something totally different to another...This is in both sexes...


OP trust is a personal option to do or not to do..
I have found when trust is hard to give I have to look into myself to see if the vibe is coming from me or them.IF I know I am okay then I look harder at the said person.

couldnt have said it better,

no photo
Wed 06/10/15 06:22 PM
trust is a matter of repeated consistent trustworthy behavior so it takes time

there are levels of trust. I give a basic trust to everyone unless they do something to break it, but more confidante trust takes more time...

PacificStar48's photo
Wed 06/10/15 06:40 PM
I don't think it is hard to trust someone if they stick with the truth.

And if something comes up that sounds hinky then explain it. Don't play cover your *** and make the other person wonder; explain.

Most of the time it is way better better to tell the painful truth than make some white lie up that will wash out sooner or later and make your credibility suck. Example; Your late because you wanted to look at the Penthouse/Playgirl in the gas stop is a whole better than saying you got hung up at work and then there is not an extra penny in the paycheck. Lies will trip you up. People who live with you know when something is up. They may not be able to put their finger on it but it poisons the air.

I think the other thing is be transparent. I was a military wife and they often get a bad rap for "getting lonely" and I just made a point of having someone with me who could account for my time or what I was doing. And yea there were a few times I just chose not to hang out with people who had bad reputations I did not want to rub off on me.

I have always had men friends but out of respect for my husband they did not hug me or come in my home when he was not there nor did any kind of repair people. If I had to step outside and stand on the porch well so be it.

People know your ways by how you conduct yourself day in and day out. If you tell little lies then they are pretty sure you tell whoppers. Especially if they hear you lie to friends or family. I always told my sons if she lies to her parents she will lie to you.

regularfeller's photo
Wed 06/10/15 08:20 PM
It is no wonder people have trust issues...during our formative years our parents tell us of Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc.


And boy ol boy do we buy into it!

And then suddenly, you're 12 and you are hearing the scuttlebutt at school that there may be some deception on your parent's part.

You ask them point blank and they laugh at your naivete and confirm your suspicions.

Next thing you know you're 23 and your girlfriend is telling you, "he's just a friend"....

My serious opinion on trust is this - the vast majority of people with an inability to trust are untrustworthy. That is why they have a hard time believing another person would be honest.

no photo
Wed 06/10/15 09:30 PM
I trust everyone to make the choice that is the most arrogant, selfish, self centered out of all the options available. Every once in a while someone proves me wrong but those are few and far between, but when it comes to politics I'm never wrong.

safa85's photo
Wed 06/10/15 09:55 PM

depends...
agree

Harleyb52's photo
Wed 06/10/15 10:55 PM
It's also hard to except and handle the truth when people are honest with you you also have responsibility to that person if you care for them to honor and respect that they were honest.