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| Topic: Weird relation with a guy friend,now we're in a cold: what t | |
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This guy and I met a year and a half a go, became friends and really clicked. He even courted me at first, was very sweet and caring, he'd compliment me, walk me to my bus stop each evening, was flirty and a bit touchy, but he never clearly mentionned he was interested, and he had a girlfriend. He dumped her 2 weeks after we had met, he told me, out of the blue (regarding his attitude towards me, I had no idea he had a gf and he never mentioned her). He kept being gentle for a little bit and I was seriously falling for him, then he suddenly changed.
He started to make real undelicate jokes about me, my family, my appearance, my origins, everything. He said it was just humour, but it felt aggressive towards me and i'm not one of his guy friends. 5 months after we had met I had to move to a different town. We had already become a bit more distant at this point, but still shared a nice connection (when he wasn't making too many hurtful jokes). I distanced myself cause his attitude was hurting me, and I had started to like him and felt like there was no hope. There were many unsaid things between us, at least on my side. But judging from his weird changes of attitudes, also on his maybe. He asked for news a few weeks after I had left, but the correspondence died fast after I had replied. He was busy with very important exams I must say, but well. He called me once weeks after, but to ask for help for stg... and kept making bad jokes again, I was offended and felt used, we had a fight on Skype. I told him what i thought about his attitude, that i was tired of it, he seemed offended, he always blames me. We talked again a bit after that, again cause he needed help for stg and as I still truly liked him I accepted -(and he also asked for news but he could have before and without needing my help for stg) but I voluntarily distanced myself and stopped showing signs of affection when we'd talk, not always picking up the phone when he'd call... I was tired of being so hurt and mistreated. I could feel things were weird, awkward, disagreable in our interactions, the little sparkle was gone i guess. It's been 7 months and we haven't talked since then. He hasn't even asked for news, he hasn't apologized while a year ago we would talk everyday. He knows that I'm in a difficult period and very stressing period right now, he doesn't try to ask how I am or to offer me support, even if I did support him when he needed me enenthough his attitude didn't quite encourage me to do so and it was a bit painful for me. What do u think happenned , does it look like we're never gonna be in touch again? How can people/guys change so fast, have you ever experienced that and is there anything to do? I miss talking to him (the nice him, not the douchebag), this situation hurts, I'm considering cutting it off for good, and deleting him from facebook. Then at least I can't look his profile up anymore and I know we're not gonna talk again, it's harsh, but maybe better than false hopes.But there's no going back after that, and I know he'll be very offended. He is proud. What would you do ? |
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walk away simple.
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No sense in pining away for someone who has clearly become uninterested, and has proven to be playing games with you (and apparently, his former gf as well). There are other better and more genuine people.
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This guy and I met a year and a half a go, became friends and really clicked. He even courted me at first, was very sweet and caring, he'd compliment me, walk me to my bus stop each evening, was flirty and a bit touchy, but he never clearly mentionned he was interested, and he had a girlfriend. He dumped her 2 weeks after we had met, he told me, out of the blue (regarding his attitude towards me, I had no idea he had a gf and he never mentioned her). He kept being gentle for a little bit and I was seriously falling for him, then he suddenly changed. He started to make real undelicate jokes about me, my family, my appearance, my origins, everything. He said it was just humour, but it felt aggressive towards me and i'm not one of his guy friends. 5 months after we had met I had to move to a different town. We had already become a bit more distant at this point, but still shared a nice connection (when he wasn't making too many hurtful jokes). I distanced myself cause his attitude was hurting me, and I had started to like him and felt like there was no hope. There were many unsaid things between us, at least on my side. But judging from his weird changes of attitudes, also on his maybe. He asked for news a few weeks after I had left, but the correspondence died fast after I had replied. He was busy with very important exams I must say, but well. He called me once weeks after, but to ask for help for stg... and kept making bad jokes again, I was offended and felt used, we had a fight on Skype. I told him what i thought about his attitude, that i was tired of it, he seemed offended, he always blames me. We talked again a bit after that, again cause he needed help for stg and as I still truly liked him I accepted -(and he also asked for news but he could have before and without needing my help for stg) but I voluntarily distanced myself and stopped showing signs of affection when we'd talk, not always picking up the phone when he'd call... I was tired of being so hurt and mistreated. I could feel things were weird, awkward, disagreable in our interactions, the little sparkle was gone i guess. It's been 7 months and we haven't talked since then. He hasn't even asked for news, he hasn't apologized while a year ago we would talk everyday. He knows that I'm in a difficult period and very stressing period right now, he doesn't try to ask how I am or to offer me support, even if I did support him when he needed me enenthough his attitude didn't quite encourage me to do so and it was a bit painful for me. What do u think happenned , does it look like we're never gonna be in touch again? How can people/guys change so fast, have you ever experienced that and is there anything to do? I miss talking to him (the nice him, not the douchebag), this situation hurts, I'm considering cutting it off for good, and deleting him from facebook. Then at least I can't look his profile up anymore and I know we're not gonna talk again, it's harsh, but maybe better than false hopes.But there's no going back after that, and I know he'll be very offended. He is proud. What would you do ? You could have been a rebound perhaps, or he could be with someone else or his past gf. Whatever it is, the scenario doesn't seem mature & straight. Good luck tho 
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Girlfriend kick him to the curb and walk away.
Plenty of more fish in the sea. The right one is out there for you,. You just need to go fishing. Its like going shopping. Try the product. If it's not what you want put it back on the shelf. |
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Why should you put up with his bad behaviour. You have been in the relationship for 18 months even though you have lived a distance apart for most of that time and you now need to make a decision to either continue or break-up with the guy. From what you have said he has not been very good company when you have been together so maybe it is time to move on. Only you know all the facts, so ask yourself where do you think the relationship is right now and are things going to improve, and make your decision on your answers. |
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While I can appreciate the difficulty of finding someone you can click with, it is apparent that he doesn't feel as strongly for you as you do for him. And if he does, then the feelings he give towards you are unhealthy for you and your relationship. I can say that their are many others that can treat you better, with love and respect that are deserved by all. He may feel empowered by demeaning others, especially those close to him.
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What do u think happenned I have lots of theories and speculation, but without any real information who knows. At best all you say in the OP is you met a guy, he was nice, then he wasn't, and 5 months later you moved to a different town. does it look like we're never gonna be in touch again? Maybe. Do you plan on ever going back to that town? How can people/guys change so fast They don't. They simply remove their social facade. That or someone starts trying to sabotage things if it's not what they want it to be. Either by trying to hurt the other person, or feeling like the other person is trying to hurt them. What would you do ? I wouldn't have any qualms ending a relationship that lasted less than half a year, seemed to have a lot of negativity, and was in another city. |
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In this situation, I'd try to be firm with him. I'd try to know what was going on inside his mind. I'd want answers. It's one thing to never talk to him again, it's another wanting to know why he changed. Would you feel alright, knowing that you felt you could never see him again? I've seen people become bitter and estranged. It isn't a nice thing to witness. I'm just worried that not talking to him, might turn you into an estranged person. Communication can solve a lot of things. Surely it's worth a try. Nothing is definite. If you want to know why he's been like this with you though, then maybe just ask him if it's alright to talk to him about "something important".
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In this situation, I'd try to be firm with him. I'd try to know what was going on inside his mind. I'd want answers. It's one thing to never talk to him again, it's another wanting to know why he changed. Would you feel alright, knowing that you felt you could never see him again? I've seen people become bitter and estranged. It isn't a nice thing to witness. I'm just worried that not talking to him, might turn you into an estranged person. Communication can solve a lot of things. Surely it's worth a try. Nothing is definite. If you want to know why he's been like this with you though, then maybe just ask him if it's alright to talk to him about "something important". and this is one major reason why nice guys get passed over. Because while your spending all if your energy trying to "figure him out and change him" you miss the genuine article standing in front of you. And the real scary thing is that eventually you either turn into a female version of the guy and/or you think every guy is like this. |
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In this situation, I'd try to be firm with him. I'd try to know what was going on inside his mind. I'd want answers. It's one thing to never talk to him again, it's another wanting to know why he changed. Would you feel alright, knowing that you felt you could never see him again? I've seen people become bitter and estranged. It isn't a nice thing to witness. I'm just worried that not talking to him, might turn you into an estranged person. Communication can solve a lot of things. Surely it's worth a try. Nothing is definite. If you want to know why he's been like this with you though, then maybe just ask him if it's alright to talk to him about "something important". and this is one major reason why nice guys get passed over. Because while your spending all if your energy trying to "figure him out and change him" you miss the genuine article standing in front of you. And the real scary thing is that eventually you either turn into a female version of the guy and/or you think every guy is like this. A very good point. Don't waste your time on a loser. Find a nice guy that you can love and respect each other. |
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I'd say enough is enough and walk away, and don't look back. I know it's difficult, and much easier said than done, especially when you feel like you've really clicked with that person. But it seems like it's a toxic relationship, and you deserve so much better. Don't lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
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just come do me...I'll cure whatever ails ya, hey!
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if he is being disrespectful then why would you want him around?
move on i would say good luck |
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It's been 7 months and we haven't talked since then.
Its over. Time to move on |
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