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| Topic: advice needed | |
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Edited by
debbie1980
on
Fri 07/10/15 01:54 PM
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for a friend/cousin, thank you.
my cousin is on another dating site with chat rooms, and she has met a guy on there and there serious about each other and not looking for anyone else. because its slow to chat on this dating site shes on, and he only talks to her,and he says i only come on (that site) to talk to her and no one else he says, he never uses the chat rooms, infacts he hates them. so because its so slow, my cousin suggested yahoo msn to him so they could message quicker, and he kept making excuses, like 'i like talking to you on here' 'its fine on here' even tho she says its really slow and that is the truth, shes showed me. well the conversation 24 hours ago was left with him agreeing to set it up, and when she spoke to him this morning he still hasn't, so she mentioned it again and he still hasn't done it. to me, its clear he doesn't want to set it up, because he wants to stay on that website, even tho its really slow and he has no need to, so why? do you think hes lieing and talking too other woman and that's why he wants to stay on that site, or hes keeping his options open and that's why he wants to stay on that site, and that's why he wont set up yahoo msn because he would have no reason to use that site anymore because he claims he only talks to her and he hates the chat rooms. opinions appreciated from my cousin. thank you.  i wrote this how she told me too, btw. he also wouldn't say who she was on his profile. just a photo of her, but he wouldn't write who she was. why? is this because hes keeping his options open and he doesn't want other women knowing the woman in the photo his is girlfriend, and because he wont say who she is, if anyone asked, he could say sister, friend etc |
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There's now way that we can know his real intentions.However,if he has been complaining about the chat system on that site,and says that he doesn't want to talk to anyone else,i see no reason why he shouldn't try another app. There are no excuses these days for phones and computers,so i can only think that for whatever reason,he is not being completely honest with your cousin.
Wish her luck please 
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Maybe he thinks she is a scammer,
as she wants to use Yahoo. |
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Maybe could be spam or scam,
But if he is really an actual person. All men are different no matter how similar. But I'm thinking in my Opinion he may not be as serious as He says he is for her. If he is seeing other women behind Her back. That is not fair to your cousin or any woman for that matter. That's really immature for a man to do that to a good woman. Also very ill-mannered. Shows no class. She deserves better for sure. PS simply returning the favor. To my good friend debbie1980 I haven't forgotten when you gave me advice. Give your cousin my condolences. You and your cousin in my prayers. How hope the blessings reach when coming your way. To you: Debbie1980, cousin. From:lovebentbackwards |
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Maybe he thinks she is a scammer, as she wants to use Yahoo. defintly not that, she said any chat system. |
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There's now way that we can know his real intentions.However,if he has been complaining about the chat system on that site,and says that he doesn't want to talk to anyone else,i see no reason why he shouldn't try another app. There are no excuses these days for phones and computers,so i can only think that for whatever reason,he is not being completely honest with your cousin. Wish her luck please i agree and i will thanks.
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Maybe could be spam or scam, But if he is really an actual person. All men are different no matter how similar. But I'm thinking in my Opinion he may not be as serious as He says he is for her. If he is seeing other women behind Her back. That is not fair to your cousin or any woman for that matter. That's really immature for a man to do that to a good woman. Also very ill-mannered. Shows no class. She deserves better for sure. PS simply returning the favor. To my good friend debbie1980 I haven't forgotten when you gave me advice. Give your cousin my condolences. You and your cousin in my prayers. How hope the blessings reach when coming your way. To you: Debbie1980, cousin. From:lovebentbackwards [/quot thank you. ----------------------------------------------------- its definitely not a scam. she just doesn't understand why he wants to stay on that site to talk to her, when they could be using something quicker, when he says he talks to no one else, and he hates the chat rooms. unless hes lieing. |
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I think she should check with friends in chat rooms to see if he is talking with other women on the side. If they say yes just stay friend with him or break all ties with him. He may be on a messenger app already and is always on there playing the field.
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I think she should check with friends in chat rooms to see if he is talking with other women on the side. If they say yes just stay friend with him or break all ties with him. He may be on a messenger app already and is always on there playing the field. hes defintly not using the chat rooms. |
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to me, its clear he doesn't want to set it up, because he wants to stay on that website, even tho its really slow and he has no need to, so why? Last time I tried to set up a Yahoo email address it asked me for my cell phone number. It would not allow me to set up an email account unless it had my number, which it can text an activation code to in order to verify it. So, I no longer have any Yahoo mail accounts. If he's kinda conservative, or distrusts the internet, or enjoys even a semblance of privacy, or just knows that Yahoo likes to sell information about its customers, it could be he doesn't want to sign up to Yahoo because he doesn't really want to give them that information. Otherwise this my cousin suggested yahoo msn to him so they could message quicker is kind of stupid. There's texting, and phone calls. I have to assume they are long distance, otherwise it would be even more stupid to sit online and chat rather than get together in person and actually date and have a relationship. If this there serious about each other and not looking for anyone else. is actually true in the best interpretation, there's no real reason for either of them to sit in chat rooms or messenger and yak. hes lieing and talking too other woman and that's why he wants to stay on that site Or he's just hedging his bets. Because he met this woman who wants to just sit online and chat in chat rooms which can easily mean she's not really serious about anything at all. Sorry, there's no commitments or responsibility until you actually spend time offline together. It's not real until communication is based on something other than the crap that is ejaculated from the fingers. And if they can spend offline time together, it would make this entire thing moot. she has met a guy on there and there serious about each other and not looking for anyone else. There is a HUGE difference between "you are so wonderful I only want to date you, I only see you as my future so I'm serious about where this is going," vs. "meh. I'm not really talking to anyone else on here, and I don't plan to as long as I'm talking to you, I only do the one person at a time thing, and I said in my profile I'm looking for something serious, so we can keep talking." Both of those situations are covered by "they're serious about each other and not looking for anyone else." So I wonder what the question is in reality. Is it "I just met a guy online and I require an immediate commitment but I don't know what's going on, because communication sucks, since it's based on online interaction, so what's going on?" Or is it "I'm in a long distance, committed, serious, progressing, romantic relationship, and he won't contact me in any other way except via the dating website! Why?!?!" |
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Maybe he thinks she is a scammer, as she wants to use Yahoo. that was my first thought as well but if he was agreeing to set it up but then didn't <scratches head> could be many things really i would say trust your gut but something does seam a little fishy |
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I think she is overthinking, being mistrustful and unreasonably suspicious. I feel he is telling the truth. He got used to the site. He is comfortably set up there. He is not interested in signing up for and learning how to use another application. He likes to talk to her there. That's it.
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to me, its clear he doesn't want to set it up, because he wants to stay on that website, even tho its really slow and he has no need to, so why? Last time I tried to set up a Yahoo email address it asked me for my cell phone number. It would not allow me to set up an email account unless it had my number, which it can text an activation code to in order to verify it. So, I no longer have any Yahoo mail accounts. If he's kinda conservative, or distrusts the internet, or enjoys even a semblance of privacy, or just knows that Yahoo likes to sell information about its customers, it could be he doesn't want to sign up to Yahoo because he doesn't really want to give them that information. Otherwise this my cousin suggested yahoo msn to him so they could message quicker is kind of stupid. There's texting, and phone calls. I have to assume they are long distance, otherwise it would be even more stupid to sit online and chat rather than get together in person and actually date and have a relationship. If this there serious about each other and not looking for anyone else. is actually true in the best interpretation, there's no real reason for either of them to sit in chat rooms or messenger and yak. hes lieing and talking too other woman and that's why he wants to stay on that site Or he's just hedging his bets. Because he met this woman who wants to just sit online and chat in chat rooms which can easily mean she's not really serious about anything at all. Sorry, there's no commitments or responsibility until you actually spend time offline together. It's not real until communication is based on something other than the crap that is ejaculated from the fingers. And if they can spend offline time together, it would make this entire thing moot. she has met a guy on there and there serious about each other and not looking for anyone else. There is a HUGE difference between "you are so wonderful I only want to date you, I only see you as my future so I'm serious about where this is going," vs. "meh. I'm not really talking to anyone else on here, and I don't plan to as long as I'm talking to you, I only do the one person at a time thing, and I said in my profile I'm looking for something serious, so we can keep talking." Both of those situations are covered by "they're serious about each other and not looking for anyone else." So I wonder what the question is in reality. Is it "I just met a guy online and I require an immediate commitment but I don't know what's going on, because communication sucks, since it's based on online interaction, so what's going on?" Or is it "I'm in a long distance, committed, serious, progressing, romantic relationship, and he won't contact me in any other way except via the dating website! Why?!?!" any instant chat system she said, and he uses his phone for everything. shes is just curious why, when there are better ways they can talk, hes making excuses. is this because he wants to stay on that site to meet other women, or is he already talking to other women and he just doesn't want to say?? this is what she is thinking. |
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If her chat is anything like the original post .. Then I can understand his reluctance . I know you said you have posted what she told you Debbie .. But for someone who is english .. The use of grammar and sentence structure is quite poor . Maybe he thinks she is a scammer .. I would . No disrespect to you or your cousin . Just an honest opinion . yes that's correct I typed what she told me too. that isn't the case, he knows that she's struggles with English and grammar, that doesn't bother him. They have spoke on the phone and she said that went really well. |
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I think she is overthinking, being mistrustful and unreasonably suspicious. I feel he is telling the truth. He got used to the site. He is comfortably set up there. He is not interested in signing up for and learning how to use another application. He likes to talk to her there. That's it. she said he's always using apps and he's brilliant on his mobile. she says there is normally a 15 to 20 minute gap between each message, so i do see her point, a quicker chat system is a good idea. he told her he will set it up, but he hasn't. if he's really only talking to her and nothing else, why would he want to stay on that site? when its so slow for both of them? |
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what do people think about him not saying who she was on his profile when he put her photo on?
and if you put that with..... he wants to stay on that site even though its useless and he's only using that site to talk to her, nothing else when they can use something better for both of them. unless he is lieing. |
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Maybe he thinks she is a scammer, as she wants to use Yahoo. that was my first thought as well but if he was agreeing to set it up but then didn't <scratches head> could be many things really i would say trust your gut but something does seam a little fishy i agree, i think something seems a little fishy too. i have told her ''in my opinion he wants to stay on that site, because he's talking to other women and he doesn't want to admit it, and/or hes keeping his options open'' |
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Maybe he thinks she is a scammer, as she wants to use Yahoo. That would be my opinion. |
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Maybe he thinks she is a scammer, as she wants to use Yahoo. That would be my opinion. its not that, she said 'any chat system' he agreed with yahoo msn, not her. |
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I have actually heard this type of problem alot from women. So I'm going to be brutally honest.
She has to let him go. If he he making a lot of excuses, then she is asking/ naging him a lot. And of course it isn't working. Either he likes that site, or is keeping his options open. If there is a 15-20 min gap, he may be living with a woman & waiting to reply later ( like in the bathroom), so he doesn't raise suspicions. It does not matter what the case is or what he is lying about. She has to stop searching for answers. She can not make him do what she wants. She can not win this. He has to go . |
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