I've been with my guy for 4 years since I was in the 11th grade and this is my last year of college. I used to go to a university but for personal reasons I transferred back home taking courses online.

I'd say we still have a lot to figure out. We both have no car, we still live with our parents, and we both lost our job. I lost mine because I had to move home, transferring jobs wasn't an option for me.

And he was fired from his job but it wasn't his fault because of a supervisor talking to him any kind of way (cursing at him) and knowing him he didn't take it lightly and lashed back. I know, I know.

It's kind of hard to make plans together because since I've been home, I have to stay at my grandparents and help them out.

My grandfather is bed ridden and my grandmother had taken care of him and has now broken down. She's not bed ridden but she's not as able.

Sometimes a whole day can go by without either one of us calling and then one of us actually calls. He wants me to spend the night with him sometimes like on weekends but I get a lot of crap from my mom (it's just me and her my dad is deceased) about doing that.

For this he gets upset. For a while now we haven't had sex because he would say he doesn't have a condom so I say I won't do anything at all. And it's been weeks on weeks now since we've had sex.

We argue in the phone and he would say things like "I hate my relationship" or "just leave me alone".

What's the deal?

Sounds like he's having a hard time coping.. with the loss of his job.. men attach their identity to their job.. give him some space.. try to reassure him. He will be back to work soon.. and lavishing you.. with tokens of affection.... and that he is still your man.. but he needs to find a job lol..
And as far as sex goes... nothing wrong with a little oral pleasure from time to time..wink wink..

I would give him the space he desires and work on getting your life in order. After that, you can figure out if yout wo really want to stay together or move on.

Thanks you two. I really needed outside advice. I don't really talk to anyone about he and I. This guys is really the first guy I've done things with this far. I've only had 2 boyfriends before him and that was in high school.

I'm still figuring things out as I'm only 21, so the way he's been was just something I wasn't quite used to.

And just to add, for the majority of our relationship I've been away in college and it's only. Been 3 months since I've been back home. So it's like a whole new relationship BUT we've got a late start at things....

Is He Cheating or Is He Just Really Busy "Doing His Own Thing?

I don't think it is either. I think you may have answered your own question though.

he was fired from his job

knowing him he didn't take it lightly and lashed back. I know, I know

we still have a lot to figure out. We both have no car, we still live with our parents.

he would say he doesn't have a condom.

We argue in the phone and he would say things like "I hate my relationship" or "just leave me alone".

Beats me.
I've never met him.


And a dating site for the last year?


Too much change at once kills relationships.
Relationships only work when you show a consistent personality doing consistent things.
Relationships are about security and growing closer because you're getting used to each other.
Your relationship is pretty much the epitome of how not to do a relationship.

Also, he hates his relationship and wants you to leave him alone.

If i was involved with someone i'd give that information on my profile wishing both of you luck getting a car & jobs If the two you of are meant to last it shall be

It's good to know that your relationship has been going on for a long time. In 4 years I am sure you have already established a steady emotional attachment and it would be hard for both of you to adjust or cope up with all the situations you are facing now, jobless, family concerns and no time enough for each other. Give yourselves some time to get on with your own lives, focus on things which are important to you, concentrate on your course online, get a job and help your family. Try to talk things over and meet half way, you gotta make him understand your situation. Maybe it would be difficult for him to understand you for now because he is at his lowest moment too being jobless and you sort of taking him for granted with no enough time to spend with him, he might be feeling rejected while he is there fretting and needing you to be there for him. Communication and understanding are both important in a relationship, and try to manage your time wisely by giving time for each other even for just awhile or send message to let him know how you are doing, saying sorry if necessary that you have been busy and wasn't able to text or call him will do no harm I hope . You are still young and many things could happen to test your relationship, and if your love for each other is strong to stand the test of time, you will remain together and never waver

Goodluck to both of you!

sounds to me like you both need a little me time to get things on track again

Just as the other's say, first why on a dating site if you have been with this guy for 4 years? And with your situations being different now, you guys might want to take a break until you get your affairs in order. And can't have sex because no condom, something is flat out wrong with your BF. Might be a real excuse once, but not over and over.

Goose, Gander.
Gander, Goose.

As both of you can do without contact for long time, as in even not calling. It means it is not really in the heart and feelings?
Only when horny there is some contact and now it couldnt be done safe then for not having a condom. Doing wihtout will get you pregnant and sure doesnt help in the total situation, as it is. However all is your decission.
WHy he didnt go with you as he lost his job? you had to go for family issues and you both knew it was for long time..However you are in in close range again meeting for sex?!
"Long" distance "love" is difficult and now he tells you to leave him alone and hate it like this. I can imagine and frustration is a leading roll in this now. All "loving" is out of his life, aswell yours, no job , no money. It is all mind hacking and brings you down.
Managers are mostly utter mf's, but you should think about what is important money or no money? Money is a an evil which you need in this world.
You cant trust managers. He maybe think about that next time and bite his tongue. Just do the job aswell as you can and swallow the pride as long as you work with him. In meantime look for another job. Now he was fired, so means he couldnt accept, i can imagine. But it comes right back in your face. It is the world we live in.
Your relation is facing now difficulties, so how strong are your feelings? As you are young and just starting, there could come up way more sorrows, its life. Sometimes up and sometimes down, they can rock your world, but how are your feelings to each other?
Succes