You mean ... I gotta feed him too??? DANG it!!!
I was kinda hoping he'd be self-sustaining.
Oh well, I guess I'll just open an extra can of cat food every day. I do hope he coughs up for the cost of his keep though

As long as he doesn't start coughing up hairballs! Maybe cat food isn't such a great idea?

I know that I definitely need an individual who has his own interests & passions outside of "what-ever relationship or involvement is going on in his life" & perhaps, like myself would be open & seek a "LAT"[Living Apart Together] arrangement . As an artist & an INTJ; MY OWN SPACE is as critical to me as oxygen. There are many times that I need to be alone in addition to the fact that my waking/sleep/eating cycles are very unconventional. It gives me much serenity when my environment reflects a certain orderliness, organization, cleanliness , & aesthetic. I am a smoker & enjoy good coffee & tobacco. Of course now a day, everyone is in high-gear hysteria that the slightest exposure to ciggie smoke will kill them on contact! OMG! My "HOME" is My Sanctuary-Not a Battlefield.

Tolstoy begins his celebrated novel, Anna Karinina with these words. "All happy families resemble one another. Each unhappy is unhappy in its own way." To my mind, each individual is unique. We should maintain our identity as much as possible. Trying to become somebody else is the right recipe for failure. I will listen to my partner carefully and move accordingly. Listening is an art in itself. You must listen to spoken words and gustures with equal and profound interest. The writer of the original article says how her parents had a sort of unhappy and unhealthy relationship. You can look at others and learn from them. There is not a big university as life is. I shall conclude with a short story. Once there lived a man, his spouse and two sons. The man was a drunkard. He was a bully. He unleashed a reign of terror in his house. His elder son succeeded in imitating him. Ofcourse, he became much worse than his father had ever been. He ended up behind the bars. The younger man became a sharp contrast to that. He became a farmer and a local politician of immense reputation. Both of them said that their father had been their role models. The elder son copied his father while the younger learned from his father what he should never do.

Yeah, I'm pretty much the same, artist as well.
Smoking is a problem. Most of the higher educated men don't smoke and don't want a partner who smokes. And I often don't like it myself, haha, I don't like that my home smells of it, but yeah ... Unfortunately that's the kind of men I prefer as I'm rather intelligent myself, and me and a Bob the Builder is likely not going to work. Nothing wrong with 'em, don't get me wrong, but I need an intellectual click as much as a physical and emotional one. I don't want to short-circuit my partner's brain with the stuff I'm busy with and like to talk about

LAT... I've been thinking about that as well in the past, but I'm not quite sure that that is what I want. I don't think I'd get complete satisfaction out of that, I want more together-time than that. I rather have that type of situation when living together in the same house.
In a way I had that with my ex. We were often home together, esp when he got unemployed for a while, but we were never in each other's hair. We mostly weren't even in the same room. I was doing my thing, he was doing his, during the evenings as well. So no couch-slouching in front of the telly.
The advantage of having the LAT thing whilst living together, is that you can still have the in between touch, cuddle, kiss, smile, conversation etc whenever there's a moment for it.
I'd miss that tremendously if I was in a real LAT relationship. I want those brief moments of intimacy and feeling of togetherness.

Oh well .. somewhere out there will be the right one for me :D We just gotta find each other.

Wow i didn't know relationship was quite hard to understand, i guess that quote was right i was so desperate to having a girlfriend but once i have do i just kiss her and then abandon her ?

If i do the same than i was no different at all, i do want a GF but i dunno ha .... i am just really afraid to broke girls heart cause i will felt the same ways when being rejected by the girl i like

Wow i didn't know relationship was quite hard to understand, i guess that quote was right i was so desperate to having a girlfriend but once i have do i just kiss her and then abandon her ?

If i do the same than i was no different at all, i do want a GF but i dunno ha .... i am just really afraid to broke girls heart cause i will felt the same ways when being rejected by the girl i like

I love your honesty and quite relate.

Thank god for a realist, well said, regarding ciggies.

Tolstoy begins his celebrated novel, Anna Karinina with these words. "All happy families resemble one another. Each unhappy is unhappy in its own way." To my mind, each individual is unique. We should maintain our identity as much as possible. Trying to become somebody else is the right recipe for failure. I will listen to my partner carefully and move accordingly. Listening is an art in itself. You must listen to spoken words and gustures with equal and profound interest."


The Art of Listening is wonderful but that Art presumes that there is a need for conversation[talking] for you to practice your art of Listening What happens when I just don't want Talk-To Anyone?
I don't care if the individual has a Doctorate in Listening skills; I don't want to talk, " Now Please Could You Leave? Don't make This Get Weird, OK?... JUST GET THE FRACK OUTTA MY SPACE!!!"



"The writer of the original article says how her parents had a sort of unhappy and unhealthy relationship. You can look at others and learn from them. There is not a big university as life is."


Irregardless of observed turmoil & trama in one's formative years; there is a way to understand that event as an adult in a non-destructive & rational context.Healing from such unfortunate beginning doesn't mean that the pain goes away; it just means that the individual's behaviors are no longer dictated by, controlled or sabotaged by that experience.
Blaming, "People, Places, & Experiences" from the distant past is a coward's way of justifying his/her negative behaviors instead of confronting the issue & trying to change.




"I shall conclude with a short story. Once there lived a man, his spouse and two sons. The man was a drunkard. He was a bully. He unleashed a reign of terror in his house. His elder son succeeded in imitating him. Ofcourse, he became much worse than his father had ever been. He ended up behind the bars. The younger man became a sharp contrast to that. He became a farmer and a local politician of immense reputation. Both of them said that their father had been their role models. The elder son copied his father while the younger learned from his father what he should never do."


It's got nothing to do with, Becoming Like or Rebelling Against Anyone; it's just about being, "True" to Yourself. Being, "Who" you are.
Some individuals are just happier & more content as solitary spirits. These individuals may select a hermetic & reclusive lifestyle. Society has told these individuals, "No, No, No! Something's Wrong, Must Be Wrong With People Like You! You Must Be : 1]-Anti-Social,2]- Deeply Neurotic, 3]-Afflicted with Personality Disorder, Psychotic, or *All Of The Above*. How Can Such Individuals Even Live In Contemporary Society Without An Android Cell Phone, Facebook, & Tweeter?!?"



Current statistics have shown that in the U.S. 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce.
But those statistics do not reflect the popular trend of individuals who choose to live together & break-up.
When cohabiting couples break up, this can be just as disruptive as divorce, these numbers don’t make it into the divorce rates.
The Times story also notes another interesting statistic: Women file for the majority of divorces (about two-thirds).
Economic independence makes it easier for women to leave a marriage.
But there might be another, simpler reason. Whelan reports,
"Married Men Are Happier Than Married Women.”

What to do with a partner?

Well from my standpoint partner is the key word. When you find that person that is your partner in life you will have similar goals in life. You will both have hobbies,jobs,family and friends that keep you busy until it is time for together time. For me that person will have interests that I would love to share and others I do not. I will have interests that he wants to be a part of and some not so much. All I can say is the right partner will be the person that is in your life and makes even the worst the world can throw at you seem like nothing at all.

Beautiful!
And yes, completely true!

I'd have to find someone who doesn't like order, who is true to how he feels, despite norms. It'll have to be some sort of alien. I'm quite complicated. And any man must be crazy to want me.

Hello

Hi

Typically I ask for my partners best trump card, and hope we don't get set.

Doesn't necessarily have to be an alien.
I don't like order (ruts and routines) much myself either, so if a guy is a rut-nut, it ain't going to work.
But I also know from experience that if a guy adds stability in another way, it is brilliant! I'm also quite multi-faceted, and I think it would work best with a man who's more erm ... level, calm and collected, less 'all over the place' than I am.
That way you get balance because you complement one another. And there's plenty of men like that out there. It's just usually not the ones that stand out like a sore thumb. They do, if you put the right goggles on. It may not be the sexy, attention getting kind of men. More likely one of that attention getting men's mates. Or the one that sits on his own at the bar, totally chill and happy, enjoying the hustle and bustle around him. So quite self-confident, not easily deterred, and without the need to erm ... push himself to the foreground if you get what I mean. (can't think of the right word. Exert maybe?)

If I envision myself with such a man, I can actually feel the peace and quiet, without it numbing me. Very loving, appreciating, accepting vibe.

Maybe a similar man is what you need as well?

I like me time and our time

I have never been one to have them hanging around my neck.
It's not healthy.

What would I do with him?
I have no idea because everyone is different and like to do different things.

No couch spuds or ones that have their head on the bedroom all the time.
There's more to life

hii...i m looking a female friend in india...but i dont know how to say to any female..
so what sould i have to do

Well if I choose them as a partner pretty much everything. At least that is how it was in the past.

Maybe not every minute of every day but what we were not doing something together we supported each other in doing what we were doing.

I suppose it helped that our skills balanced each other and I made a point of picking someone who liked living in Tandem. And that I actually liked him and it was evident he liked me. Even as I adapted and changed over the years. We talked about things though and had a flexible plan.

I have seen a lot of relationships that have no idea past the honeying moon how they are going to cope with the partnership of what it if meant.

We got that a lot of time it meant accommodating each other as much as self and the partnership was actually a better version of self.