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| Topic: Mom first or Girlfriend first?...Oh god | |
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I am very close to my mom and now in relationship with this lovely lady. My lady and I have a weekend plan but my mom is calling me home for a family get together. Now I am struck where to go and whom to say NO. Totally in pickle now  Really, dude? REALLY???? whatever it is, girlfriend first. She is part of your next lifep |
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wish me luck..I got an idea to keep both the parties happy..kudos to me  Well, don't keep us in suspense............what did you decide to do - and how did it turn out ??????????????? 
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Hmmmm.....it does so confusing to you right now...but you should consider that knowing the understanding level of your girlfriend is of paramount importance (although its too soon to start that after two weeks of dating). For the way you have being sounding about your family and manliness thing...you should tell her about the family party because she also have a family too.
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Jtip is right. I suspect you have already made your decision, but I wanna offer food for thought for future dilemmas when it involves females. I have noticed something very sweet about many women which may ultimately be a comfort to you. Even when things don’t go our way , many of us are deeply touched when our guy is showing STRONG evidence of considering our feelings in their decision making process… and also showing great forethought in compensatory action when they are unable to come through for us. A great place to start in situations like this is to announce to both parties that you love them both and that both events are too important for you to miss , but always be mindful that Jenny’s birthday or any other event that arises, is SELDOM ever likely to define the tone of your relationship with a mate or your future together. Your words and action PRIOR to this event and even more so AFTER the event actually matters way more than a dinner decision or the event in question. Let that always be your guiding principle in tough decisions like these. It is harder for you to compensate to your mom for your absence at this RARE family reunion than it is to compensate to Jenny for her birthday. With that in mind, it might be helpful to give Jenny the option of celebrating her birthday prior to your family dinner, ALONG with the sincere rain cheque of a more elaborate celebration in the soonest time possible. I trust you to invest a lot of fore thought , creativity and effort into making her birthday celebration prior to the family dinner as memorable as possible with flowers, wine , a nice present etc which would console any gal I think. If she is not happy about the option of celebrating prior to the family event because it is too rushed, then enthusiastically market the compensation plan to her and send as many loving messages or at least one call to her during your family celebration as you can manage without neglecting your family’s company. Most of us women will take comfort in any gestures from our guy that communicate that we are being thought of every step of the way, especially in their absence. And then after all that… there’s that AMAZING compensation plan that our guy can creatively contrive to seal the deal. But my point is that most women are more concerned with a thought process and actions reflecting strong consideration of them HABITUALLY, rather than any event in isolation. Good luck to you my friend! That is true, I have a solution in mind but want to see if I can get a better one. Calling her from my parents party..nice one, I can try that too. Actually I had planned her party, booked a nice place and gave my ideas for the decorations. Today I will be heading there to give the finishing touches, had booked tickets and hotel room for her parents to visit tomorrow just to make her evening perfect. Will pick her gift as well as gifts for my cousins today. Ah lot of activities to do today  Anyways I appreciate you for showing me the female side and I also want her to have an AMAZING party with or without me. Atleast she should be able to brag about my decorations & gift to her friends and family. You do have a dilemna. Is there anyway your mom might be able to make her event a day later? |
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wish me luck..I got an idea to keep both the parties happy..kudos to me Well, don't keep us in suspense............what did you decide to do - and how did it turn out ??????????????? I'm with you n this one Rusty Kitty. Inquiring minds wanna know! 
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It was a success and I was able to attend both the parties hence keeping both the ladies in my life happy. Now at my parents place, will give details when I reach back home.
Thank god and all of you for wishes
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Edited by
butribu
on
Sun 01/24/16 01:26 PM
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It was a success and I was able to attend both the parties hence keeping both the ladies in my life happy. Now at my parents place, will give details when I reach back home. Thank god and all of you for wishes i was wondering about how it is going. great news !!  
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It was a success and I was able to attend both the parties hence keeping both the ladies in my life happy. Now at my parents place, will give details when I reach back home. Thank god and all of you for wishes 
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Right on!! Good job!
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Wow what a weekend...reached home and had my dinner. Had a chat with mom, she is happy that I managed the situation & attended her party and wanted to know more about Jenny. Also talked with Jenny, she was extremely happy with my planning, gift and arrangements for her parents. It feels so much better when people you love are happy with you and future looks bright. Hope everything works out like this every time.
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Wow what a weekend...reached home and had my dinner. Had a chat with mom, she is happy that I managed the situation & attended her party and wanted to know more about Jenny. Also talked with Jenny, she was extremely happy with my planning, gift and arrangements for her parents. It feels so much better when people you love are happy with you and future looks bright. Hope everything works out like this every time. Glad you had great fun ! Now about this other part mmmmMMMM soon I hope  * Buy a ring. *Meet with Jenny. *Propose to her *now she is family ** Done deal** See easy 
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Wow what a weekend...reached home and had my dinner. Had a chat with mom, she is happy that I managed the situation & attended her party and wanted to know more about Jenny. Also talked with Jenny, she was extremely happy with my planning, gift and arrangements for her parents. It feels so much better when people you love are happy with you and future looks bright. Hope everything works out like this every time. Thats awesome jimmy! Im happy everything worked out for you  How did you finally manage the situation to attend both events?
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Oh yeah actually I got so tired that I slept anyways here is what I did.
1. Wished Jenny in night itself just in case  2. I mailed everyone that Jenny`s party starts by 9:30 PM. 3. Reached my parent`s place in morning and spend time with them welcoming my other family members. In between kept calling Jenny (thanks Peggy  ) 4. Helped start my parent`s party by 6:30 PM by telling about Jenny to Mom. 5. Ate a bit with my family then took a flight to LA. 6. Reached Jenny`s party by 10:15 PM and made her smile & happy. I had already called her and told her that "I was busy so will be late" 7. Impressed her parents, dropped them back to the hotel and spend the night at her apartment. 8. As she met her parents after a long time, I had planned a city tour for her and her parents (Another surprise to her) 9. Took a early flight back to San Jose and finished the get together. So that is what I did to make things work out for me..  
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Wow what a weekend...reached home and had my dinner. Had a chat with mom, she is happy that I managed the situation & attended her party and wanted to know more about Jenny. Also talked with Jenny, she was extremely happy with my planning, gift and arrangements for her parents. It feels so much better when people you love are happy with you and future looks bright. Hope everything works out like this every time. superb !! with this speed, the wedding doesn't look so far Jimmy.  keep in mind; i want my invitation card when that day comes, not to attend but to keep as a memory
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Oh yeah actually I got so tired that I slept anyways here is what I did. 1. Wished Jenny in night itself just in case 2. I mailed everyone that Jenny`s party starts by 9:30 PM. 3. Reached my parent`s place in morning and spend time with them welcoming my other family members. In between kept calling Jenny (thanks Peggy ) 4. Helped start my parent`s party by 6:30 PM by telling about Jenny to Mom. 5. Ate a bit with my family then took a flight to LA. 6. Reached Jenny`s party by 10:15 PM and made her smile & happy. I had already called her and told her that "I was busy so will be late" 7. Impressed her parents, dropped them back to the hotel and spend the night at her apartment. 8. As she met her parents after a long time, I had planned a city tour for her and her parents (Another surprise to her) 9. Took a early flight back to San Jose and finished the get together. So that is what I did to make things work out for me.. WOW! Impressive! And your final plan seemed to be a hybrid of some of the forum ideas and your own romantic genius. Well played .. and congrats!!! 
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Edited by
butribu
on
Mon 01/25/16 11:57 AM
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i agree with Peggy, that is really impressive
it is unbelievable how much effort you have put in that day i read the things u have done just in one day, and i went ==>>  u are raising the bar. we will expect the same details from our boyfriends ahahaha  and we will of course not get them and feel disappointed
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superb !! with this speed, the wedding doesn't look so far Jimmy. keep in mind; i want my invitation card when that day comes, not to attend but to keep as a memory Hahaha...Wedding is very far away, there are still many things to work on. Jenny`s parents like me now so the difficult part is done now next step is to see how much compatible we are together. She lives in LA and I am in fountain valley, both the places are opposite to each other. Anyway if that day comes, I will surely send invitation and tickets to you don`t worry you will come for sure
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WOW! Impressive! And your final plan seemed to be a hybrid of some of the forum ideas and your own romantic genius. Well played .. and congrats!!! Yeah that is why I thanked everyone. Because of genuine good people here it becomes easy to get good ideas and it makes life easier for people like me  |
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superb !! with this speed, the wedding doesn't look so far Jimmy. keep in mind; i want my invitation card when that day comes, not to attend but to keep as a memory Hahaha...Wedding is very far away, there are still many things to work on. Jenny`s parents like me now so the difficult part is done now next step is to see how much compatible we are together. She lives in LA and I am in fountain valley, both the places are opposite to each other. Anyway if that day comes, I will surely send invitation and tickets to you don`t worry you will come for sure look at that ! u are not saying invitations, also the tickets ! u have such a big hearth Jimmy. Soo. what exactly is the distance in between you, by drive-way or air-way? |
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look at that ! u are not saying invitations, also the tickets ! u have such a big hearth Jimmy. Soo. what exactly is the distance in between you, by drive-way or air-way? It takes around 30-40 mins drive to LA but the traffic is the b word. |
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