Raven
bald eagle

Yes by all means hide your emotions and feelings!
God forbid your children will learn to deal with emotions and feelings and found out that dad is only human!
Can't have that!!

hello am new and new friends are welcome

Am I reading this right? Mating for life is largely for the birds?
include penguins

Stay healthy as you will be stressed

http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/stressed%20out

Through this nightmare the children, 12, 18 and 21, have been the strongest out of all of us.

I think that say's they knew what was going on from the start.

I run in to this "reasoning" fairly often.

It is in error.

A person isn't a race, nor a species. This reasoning insists that each of us is.

It tries to fight off the anger and pain of betrayal and emotional assault which all such "excursions" (affairs) are, by blaming them on some inherent defect in our species, and then hiding from the pain, behind a pretense of aggressively joining the other side.

Aggression is possibly THE most common way that humans use to hide from themselves.

The problem is, that hiding never really solves or fixes anything. Each individual either wants one loyal mate, or they don't.

We are not our species, we are ourselves.

This is also why racism doesn't work as a solution to what it is designed to address either, but that's for another thread.

Yes, as should be obvious, I was subject to betrayal of this kind. Long ago. And it damaged me in ways that I am still struggling to comprehend.

My case also, was one in which the person who destroyed me, was inherently incapable of living as she pretended to me and to herself, that she wanted to live. That made her innocent in a way, in that she was incapable of being who I needed in a mate, no matter how much we really did desire or love each other.

The thing I have concluded about all of this very complex stuff is, that it is REALITY that we must deal with. And reality is linked to INDIVIDUALS, not to generalities, such as species, or race, or gender, or political affiliation.

There are a few fundamentals which are true in this relatively small aspect of human life:

* Love is not a magic spell. It is an experience, or perhaps a condition. This is why it never CAUSES someone to behave as they need to, in order to please, and to be a positive element in the life of the person who they love.

* Each human being is either capable of making choices and decisions on their own or they are not. Because we have found over many millennia that the vast majority of humans ARE able to make decisions for themselves, despite emotional or other urges, trying to deal with THIS aspect of life as though we are not, is ludicrously illogical.

* If you are one of us who requires a loyal, respectful mate, then that is what you must find. Trying to remain with someone who is not capable of being thus, requires that you refuse to live your own life.

* because love ISN'T magic, the total result is often that we will experience it, but not enjoy it, because we are not well matched to those who we love.

Hello Steelmonte,...welcome to mingle...
I am lucky that i do not have to experience the hurt of being cheated on when in a relationship..
I am sorry for you and wish you get over it and be completely happy soon....
Well, Mingle can surely help you!

It makes me feel physically ill just thinking about it, but yes, he did. Right in front of my eyes. He was a bit too laid back. He didn't exactly make much effort. Anyway it's not like our mutual friends didn't know about it. They used to tell me what a pig they thought he was, so he's tarnished his reputation. Funny, he was always asking me what I thought of him. I guess even the tiniest compliment can go to someone's head. I was soon out of there.

It's the complete selfishness of the whole thing. Like nothing and no one matters except them and their own satisfaction.

For me it is the epitome of greed.

Bingo but you let her get away with it again and in ways are making excuses for her now saying she is doing it for the kids which is BS..

Sorry I don't understand what you are saying. Doing what for the kids ?

She has done nothing for them for the last 18 months.

Right now am looking for the great woman to love

I'll explain that. I only found out about the first affair 15 years later when we had two more children and things were well.

She did get away with it I admit but she worked me over with the mental illness card, which she received at the hospital.

Update today is that she blames me for 'ruining her life', by making her have an affair with my friend for 10 months and having to move into a rented hovel.