not sure how I feel about this

know it meant a lot more to me when I was younger than it does now

status we attribute to these labels

for instance " wife" or "spouse"

why is it the epitome..the pinnacle ..the precipice of all relationships?

because society has deemed it the socially acceptable way for two people to co-habitat?

not sure at this point in my life it would be necessary
in order to 'prove' someone's level of commitment

Well I think the forms necessitate us to label a relationship by the time you have mutually committed to a life together, and in which case, you would be either the married spouse or common law spouse. As for introducing the person to others, my friend was contented with the phrase "someone special" I guess their whole focus was about how they treated each other and they focused all their energy on that and left people to draw their own conclusions.

To me words mean nothing without action.
Sometimes you don't need words it's all in the action. It depends on the person and how they like to receive it and what is important to them.
All I was saying it depends on the person whether they need the labels or not.

I am not sure for myself.
If I feel it in his actions I won't need to hear it.

Yeah. You are right. It all depends on the mutual needs of the couple as far as a sense of security and clarity is concerned

Sure. And if you're both that way, you can also apply labels without any problems ... It wouldn't matter, well, shouldn't.
I still don't think labels are a big deal, not unless you make them a big deal. Which is what people do by trying to avoid labels. I think it's part of trying to let go of the tendency everyone has to be influenced by what others think about us. I'm not sure the 'fight' against labels is the shortest route though Cos if labels bother you, you are still being influenced by what others think or say.

See, there's the vague part I was getting at before. Because someone has a problem with labels, they have to make other ppl's life difficult? Isn't it much clearer (and nicer even) to just say "This is my girlfriend/partner"? No confusion, no one has to guess and second guess.
Now this is just about a partner, but many feel that way about all labels. Makes communication so incredibly hard if it suddenly is forbidden to call things by their name. And truly clear communication and understanding each other is difficult enough as it is.

Peggy good topic. Me myself, I've always likened myself as a bit if an abstract with delusions of enigmas.
Labels just don't suit me. I've been all of those. Actions are louder than words. For me when you are with someone you care about, you give them your all. That's it. Call it what you will. If you want a label, call me human.
Ciao bella, bellos

Like Crystal said, using a label to qualify the nature of a relationship can help ensure that an accurate perception is conveyed in conversation. What I'm not in favor of are labels being used as a stamp of ownership. "He's my man!" "She's my woman!" How about he/she is my partner? Or "someone special" like Peggy's friend characterized it.

Saying I love you to a special someone, I think, is just as important to most as proving it through actions. Verbally declaring love for someone doesn't have to mean till death do us part to be meaningful.

I think ultimately crystal that a couple has to negotiate what feels comfortable for them both so I don' t know if there is a standard "nicer way" as you mentioned earlier. Nicer is subject to what the couple deems as nice.

My personal concern about romantic labels is that they are often no longer fixed concepts.They are often fluid BUT linked with strong and often wrong assumptions.

I asked an acquaintance of mine why some men choose to marry when they know they are are not contented with just one sleeping partner. His response was that it was an investment in his future security. Because if his other pursuits didnt work out, he always wanted to make sure that he had one stable default partner.

Do you think that when he and his wife got married that she agreed with or even understood his concept of marriage when they said their vows?

Translation...

Just because two people give each other the label of husband/wife or girlfriend/boyfriend, it doesn't mean that there is agreement on the nature of roles and boundaries implied by these popular labels.

That issue of fluid concepts is actually the reason why I personally dont need a man to tell me he loves me. Love means something different from one person to another. If quality time matters most to me in expressing love but my mate puts all of his energies into buying me gifts , which is also another way of showing love, but not one that resonates with me, then his perception of love though very real will not satisfy me.

So labels and words can be just as misleading as no label at all.

i've had a few labels... s***head, dumba$$, lazy@$$, looser... i can live without them, i think...

Ohhh.. I just(( love))Labels..designer labels....lol
.. if it doesn't have a well-known label on it!.. it's just not worth having..wink..
...

I had a relationship like that once and I agree it was one of the best ones. We only saw each other when we were both in town and hung out just like a couple. It wasn't till the end when we decided to "label" it that it ended. I think with labels come those expectations associated with labels... so sad.

Gale! friend and boy friend

This is interesting luvmeforlife. Thanks for sharing. I guess couples really have to mutually decide what makes them comfortable in a relationship and decide mutually what their rules of engagement will be.

Exactly. Who has the right to decide what is the pinnacle experience for us in any aspect of life? Only you can know what feels right for you :)

Labels are good when both people in the relationship agree on what that label means :)

Aaaahh.... but what is an accurate perception? Two people could have very different ideas of what a particular label means or even what I love you means

Thanks Rob!

I guess you just needed someone who shared your unconventional concept of a relationship. She might still be out there. Who knows?

Point taken. Communicating through language will always be open to individual subjective honesty and interpretation. That also includes characterizations like "someone special" though. What's of most importance is the intent, perception, and acceptance by the members of the relationship.

That is until we can communicate mind to mind.