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| Topic: Online Dating: What Were Your Expectations. | |
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Tue 04/19/16 06:33 AM
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So more and more members here have decided to give up on the search for their soulmate online. Some have even quit after less than 6 months.
So my question is... What were your expectations when you signed up here in terms of the dating process? Were you expecting a steady stream of dating prospects every month? Were you expecting a group of better looking people or more appealing personalities?  Did you expect more positive responses to your emails or less creeps? What were YOUR expectations about THE PROCESS? |
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Hi Peggy,
 Yours is an interesting question and important; definitely worth considering. My aims are defined and settled. After two women I loved ran off with other men, I determined to find the way to be a one woman man with a one man woman. It hasn't been easy, but it has worked. I am certain of Concrete Moral Values - meaning some things are always right, and some things are always wrong, regardless of whether or not they are popular. A good and healthy relationship is based on Covenant rather than Contract. Contract has an escape clause, allowing and expecting failure. Covenant says; We know there will be problems, but we will work together to overcome them. We are an inseparable team. We will learn to communicate through think and thin, just as we promised in our vows. We will overcome all odds, we will be patient and forgiving knowing neither of us are perfect. The key to it all is Faith in God the Creator. To those who don't believe, go your own way and don't trouble those of us who do.  We mean you no harm.
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Hi DDwarf
Its great that you had your goals so clearly defined :) But what did you ecpect the process to be like? Did you think that finding that woman would take months? Did you expect more desirable chouces in women? Did you expect a favorable response from most of the women you aporoached? What were your expectations of the process involved in finding your soulmate here? |
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Hmmmm give up after 6 months or so?
Oh my gosh! Isn't that like giving up but without the lying down and dying? I often think dating is like a lottery or maths puzzle, You have to work at it and try lots of different equations (meet different people) until you meet the right one, Or nearly right one, because no one is perfect. And even then its not quite the finished product, You have to then work on it and fine tune it and grow closer together by learning what puts the smile on your partners face and learn how to keep the smile there forever. |
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What were your expectations when you signed up here in terms of the dating process? very low, having used sites like this before i wasn't expecting to meet anyone realistically. Were you expecting a steady stream of dating prospects every month? No, no way! Were you expecting a group of better looking people or more appealing personalities? not really no, anyone can look good posting pictures of models etc, personality wise, there are some people with great personalities on the forums! Did you expect more positive responses to your emails or less creeps? creeps would be nice lol, i would like a few more responses yes, but it appears that most of the profiles are "dead" or fake. But as i've generally found, most people don't want to message people unless they are attracted to their profile pic. What were YOUR expectations about THE PROCESS? what process?? |
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Edited by
SparklingCrystal 💖💎
on
Tue 04/19/16 10:33 AM
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At first I thought it would be really easy to find a new partner. But I didn't know the first thing about dating sites, I'd never been on one before.
I quickly learnt that it wasn't all that easy, that many guys are looking for sex etc. The most important thing was working out that not every dating site suits you. The free sites usually have a lot of lower schooled / educated men, and since I don't really resonate with Bob the Builder so to speak, I had to find myself a site that did have ppl of similar level and interest. At the moment I'm on a really great site, the way they work sort of eliminates the w@nkers that are attracted to pretty pictures and are looking for a fast way into a girl's pants (any girl's pants basically). On that site, you cannot see the pictures until you've exchanged X amount of chat messages. (You only see 1 small picture in a quiz thing they got, based on which you can choose who you want to chat with or not). There's no profiles to browse either. I spose the w@nkers can't be bothered to invest time in it. So far that's been the best dating site I've been on. Apart from finding the right site for you, you have to invest time. I've had a phase that I didn't really feel like investing so much time online. When I started out, I spend hours and hours on dating sites, but nothing worked out. I got discouraged and kind of gave up for about half a year. Now I'm investing more time again, but I also have learnt to separate the wheat from the chaff a lot faster. So I waste less time than I did before. At first I was insecure, less decisive. "Maybe this and maybe that. Maybe I should give it a try" "Maybe he is nice even though ..." etc. Basically settling for less. I don't do that anymore. Not taller? Next! Young children? Next! Chat isn't fluent? Next! Etc. . . . |
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What were your expectations when you signed up here in terms of the dating process? very low, having used sites like this before i wasn't expecting to meet anyone realistically. Were you expecting a steady stream of dating prospects every month? No, no way! Were you expecting a group of better looking people or more appealing personalities? not really no, anyone can look good posting pictures of models etc, personality wise, there are some people with great personalities on the forums! Did you expect more positive responses to your emails or less creeps? creeps would be nice lol, i would like a few more responses yes, but it appears that most of the profiles are "dead" or fake. But as i've generally found, most people don't want to message people unless they are attracted to their profile pic. What were YOUR expectations about THE PROCESS? what process?? Sorry. I meant the online dating process |
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Edited by
Annierooroo
on
Tue 04/19/16 11:15 AM
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So more and more members here have decided to give up on the search for their soulmate online. Some have even quit after less than 6 months. So my question is... What were your expectations when you signed up here in terms of the dating process? First expectation was to meet someone on line but have changed that to meeting friends because of things I have learnt. Were you expecting a steady stream of dating prospects every month? No I wasn't just one person. Were you expecting a group of better looking people or more appealing personalities? No just a normal guy who actually cared instead not scammers. Did you expect more positive responses to your emails or less creeps? Yes but I think I was very gullible. I have wised up. What were YOUR expectations about THE PROCESS. That it wasn't so damn hard and more guys around my area. |
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The dating and mating processes have always been extremely difficult for me, for a variety of reasons. And I am a very logic oriented person, and rather shy in certain ways. So when I first heard of the idea of an online place to meet people, I was relieved, more than anything else.
The main thing I looked forward to, was that everyone online would at least SAY that they were actively looking for someone else to be with. That would eliminate one of the biggest hurdles for so-called real life situations: determining gracefully, whether or not an interesting person was open to and looking for someone or not. That much has not been disappointing. I was also hoping that the people who did show up here, would therefore not be prejudiced against others who were also online. That part was unfortunately not proven true. Not a big problem though, all in all. Because I am so carefully logical, I have not found any reason to blame Online Dating, or dating sites, for the fact that I am still alone. All of the reasons why have been due to me, and my various life challenges, and to the entirely chance fact, that no one close enough to me to make a rational go of things, was a good fit either way. Perhaps because I learned the hard way long ago, that there's no such thing as a formula for causing someone to like another person, I never got the idea that some seem to have, that online dating sites are like vending machines. |
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At first I thought it would be really easy to find a new partner. But I didn't know the first thing about dating sites, I'd never been on one before. I quickly learnt that it wasn't all that easy, that many guys are looking for sex etc. The most important thing was working out that not every dating site suits you. The free sites usually have a lot of lower schooled / educated men, and since I don't really resonate with Bob the Builder so to speak, I had to find myself a site that did have ppl of similar level and interest. At the moment I'm on a really great site, the way they work sort of eliminates the w@nkers that are attracted to pretty pictures and are looking for a fast way into a girl's pants (any girl's pants basically). On that site, you cannot see the pictures until you've exchanged X amount of chat messages. (You only see 1 small picture in a quiz thing they got, based on which you can choose who you want to chat with or not). There's no profiles to browse either. I spose the w@nkers can't be bothered to invest time in it. So far that's been the best dating site I've been on. Apart from finding the right site for you, you have to invest time. I've had a phase that I didn't really feel like investing so much time online. When I started out, I spend hours and hours on dating sites, but nothing worked out. I got discouraged and kind of gave up for about half a year. Now I'm investing more time again, but I also have learnt to separate the wheat from the chaff a lot faster. So I waste less time than I did before. At first I was insecure, less decisive. "Maybe this and maybe that. Maybe I should give it a try" "Maybe he is nice even though ..." etc. Basically settling for less. I don't do that anymore. Not taller? Next! Young children? Next! Chat isn't fluent? Next! Etc. . . .   
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Hmmmm give up after 6 months or so? Oh my gosh! Isn't that like giving up but without the lying down and dying? I often think dating is like a lottery or maths puzzle, You have to work at it and try lots of different equations (meet different people) until you meet the right one, Or nearly right one, because no one is perfect. And even then its not quite the finished product, You have to then work on it and fine tune it and grow closer together by learning what puts the smile on your partners face and learn how to keep the smile there forever. I share the same view Jan Doh. I see online dating as a slow burner process, not a microwaved product. I think I would at least give it a year personally, before giving up, but like I told one of the minglers, this type of dating is not for everybody
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What were your expectations when you signed up here in terms of the dating process? very low, having used sites like this before i wasn't expecting to meet anyone realistically. Were you expecting a steady stream of dating prospects every month? No, no way! Were you expecting a group of better looking people or more appealing personalities? not really no, anyone can look good posting pictures of models etc, personality wise, there are some people with great personalities on the forums! Did you expect more positive responses to your emails or less creeps? creeps would be nice lol, i would like a few more responses yes, but it appears that most of the profiles are "dead" or fake. But as i've generally found, most people don't want to message people unless they are attracted to their profile pic. What were YOUR expectations about THE PROCESS? what process?? In other words, you had realistic expectations, which is a good thing. It helps us to roll with the punches. And you know how hard the punches of the online dating world can be 
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At first I thought it would be really easy to find a new partner. But I didn't know the first thing about dating sites, I'd never been on one before. I quickly learnt that it wasn't all that easy, that many guys are looking for sex etc. The most important thing was working out that not every dating site suits you. The free sites usually have a lot of lower schooled / educated men, and since I don't really resonate with Bob the Builder so to speak, I had to find myself a site that did have ppl of similar level and interest. At the moment I'm on a really great site, the way they work sort of eliminates the w@nkers that are attracted to pretty pictures and are looking for a fast way into a girl's pants (any girl's pants basically). On that site, you cannot see the pictures until you've exchanged X amount of chat messages. (You only see 1 small picture in a quiz thing they got, based on which you can choose who you want to chat with or not). There's no profiles to browse either. I spose the w@nkers can't be bothered to invest time in it. So far that's been the best dating site I've been on. Apart from finding the right site for you, you have to invest time. I've had a phase that I didn't really feel like investing so much time online. When I started out, I spend hours and hours on dating sites, but nothing worked out. I got discouraged and kind of gave up for about half a year. Now I'm investing more time again, but I also have learnt to separate the wheat from the chaff a lot faster. So I waste less time than I did before. At first I was insecure, less decisive. "Maybe this and maybe that. Maybe I should give it a try" "Maybe he is nice even though ..." etc. Basically settling for less. I don't do that anymore. Not taller? Next! Young children? Next! Chat isn't fluent? Next! Etc. . . . I know exactly what you are talking about with the less intellectual men of other chat sites Crystal. (Rubbing my temples).... That can be so stressful, as well as the creeps hitting you up for cyber sex every 5 mins. Grrrrrr....  The sharp-witted interactions at mingle have been so refreshing! And yes, because of the sheer volume of contrasting personalities, races and cultures, family statuses, lifestyles, communication styles etc, I really did get a much stronger feel for what I wanted and needed , in a way that I never attained from my offline dating According to you, our filtering skills get highly sharpened online as well, enabling us to waste less time on undesirables. Cheers to that! |
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So more and more members here have decided to give up on the search for their soulmate online. Some have even quit after less than 6 months. So my question is... What were your expectations when you signed up here in terms of the dating process? First expectation was to meet someone on line but have changed that to meeting friends because of things I have learnt. Were you expecting a steady stream of dating prospects every month? No I wasn't just one person. Were you expecting a group of better looking people or more appealing personalities? No just a normal guy who actually cared instead not scammers. Did you expect more positive responses to your emails or less creeps? Yes but I think I was very gullible. I have wised up. What were YOUR expectations about THE PROCESS. That it wasn't so damn hard and more guys around my area. Yeah . More and more people seem to have given up looking for love in favour of embracing new friendships. It really has been a gratifying part of the experience that few expected :) And I think most of us were surprised by the amount of scammers and creeps we had to wade through. Isn't it interesting that a compatible "normal" partner has come to feel like one of the most rare things in the world?
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The dating and mating processes have always been extremely difficult for me, for a variety of reasons. And I am a very logic oriented person, and rather shy in certain ways. So when I first heard of the idea of an online place to meet people, I was relieved, more than anything else. The main thing I looked forward to, was that everyone online would at least SAY that they were actively looking for someone else to be with. That would eliminate one of the biggest hurdles for so-called real life situations: determining gracefully, whether or not an interesting person was open to and looking for someone or not. That much has not been disappointing. I was also hoping that the people who did show up here, would therefore not be prejudiced against others who were also online. That part was unfortunately not proven true. Not a big problem though, all in all. Because I am so carefully logical, I have not found any reason to blame Online Dating, or dating sites, for the fact that I am still alone. All of the reasons why have been due to me, and my various life challenges, and to the entirely chance fact, that no one close enough to me to make a rational go of things, was a good fit either way. Perhaps because I learned the hard way long ago, that there's no such thing as a formula for causing someone to like another person, I never got the idea that some seem to have, that online dating sites are like vending machines. Very logical and practical as always in your thinking Igor. I'm sure that saved you from a lot of unnecessary disappointment. |
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At first I thought it would be really easy to find a new partner. But I didn't know the first thing about dating sites, I'd never been on one before. I quickly learnt that it wasn't all that easy, that many guys are looking for sex etc. The most important thing was working out that not every dating site suits you. The free sites usually have a lot of lower schooled / educated men, and since I don't really resonate with Bob the Builder so to speak, I had to find myself a site that did have ppl of similar level and interest. At the moment I'm on a really great site, the way they work sort of eliminates the w@nkers that are attracted to pretty pictures and are looking for a fast way into a girl's pants (any girl's pants basically). On that site, you cannot see the pictures until you've exchanged X amount of chat messages. (You only see 1 small picture in a quiz thing they got, based on which you can choose who you want to chat with or not). There's no profiles to browse either. I spose the w@nkers can't be bothered to invest time in it. So far that's been the best dating site I've been on. Apart from finding the right site for you, you have to invest time. I've had a phase that I didn't really feel like investing so much time online. When I started out, I spend hours and hours on dating sites, but nothing worked out. I got discouraged and kind of gave up for about half a year. Now I'm investing more time again, but I also have learnt to separate the wheat from the chaff a lot faster. So I waste less time than I did before. At first I was insecure, less decisive. "Maybe this and maybe that. Maybe I should give it a try" "Maybe he is nice even though ..." etc. Basically settling for less. I don't do that anymore. Not taller? Next! Young children? Next! Chat isn't fluent? Next! Etc. . . . I agree too
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Well Peggy, allow me to be the first and possible only one on this string to say that I found everything I was looking for from a dating site in the first few days I on this site. The forums have been very entertaining and that's pretty much all I look for anymore because as I've said before I gave up on finding someone almost a decade ago and all I'm after now is entertainment.
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Well Peggy, allow me to be the first and possible only one on this string to say that I found everything I was looking for from a dating site in the first few days I on this site. The forums have been very entertaining and that's pretty much all I look for anymore because as I've said before I gave up on finding someone almost a decade ago and all I'm after now is entertainment. Ask and ye shall receive... Happy things worked out as you hoped Dnhblue 
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