Something I see a lot is this 'stalemate' and this 'victim' scenario, in relationships played out over and over..

He says " She did this, she didn't do that."

She says, " He did this, he didn't do that."

What I see, is often people who spend all their time being defensive, and self righteous, and rarely anyone accepting, or taking responsibility for their actions.

It appears there are vast cultures of people deciding that 'victim' is the place to be.

What a load of crap ! ! !

Sort your selves out, and stop looking for someone else to be the solution to your messes.

Learn to be complete, internally, and stop looking outside oneself for 'completion'.

Self -sustaining, and independent, does not equal incapable of having wholesome relationships...it is the exact opposite.

Only a responsible person, who is capable of assessing their own actions, and accepting their part in a relationship can even consider the potential of a wholesome relationship.

Stop the needy, greedy 'fill ME up" behaviours and the 'victim' mode of living, and you may just find that you are a person people want to know.


Phew!! That feels better...

dont hold back jess,, tell em how you really feel darlin

Does it show???

I just got home from work...

BLAST DEM TURDS HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can say that again! :-)

this reminds me of a friend of mine... he is one of the clumsiest, rude, and unforgiving people i know, yet he always finds a way to manipulate the situation away from his fault. it's really frustrating because not only does he not listen, but he apparently doesn't think he is capable of mistakes. now, he sees this as confidence, but i see it as arrogance. oh, and he has a god complex.

hey,, how do you know me your?????lol

Nup, no god complex here....

I walk my talk...when I trip over, I know it's my fault.

Well said! Not everyone takes time to do self-evaluation. It is a critical self-discovery process of maturity. Some people also think that they should not feel complete until that special someone comes in their lives, which means that they are not living a happy life.

haha i think i might have met you in another life.



and, i would never accuse you of having a god-complex jess lol.
i like ya girl.

It's all true, Jess. I could not have said it better myself. I wish more people could see things that way.

Funny thing is, Jess.. We are actually witnessing this behavior in the threads this morning..long before there is a relationship to get self-righteous and assume a victim stance over...

Uh huh...

I think we can all agree with that ..... but it's so easy to slip into and maintain that stance. Maintain the equilibrium, stick with what's comfortable, even if it is abusive and self-destructive, its a continuity of same.

So, can you give me the magic answer that will stop me from doing the same thing again?

Do the work!

Geeeez...you !!!


You know the answers....trust yourself, lovely, and place you as the most honoured person, own and accept that which was not healthy behaviours within yourself, and learn from them.

Then you will be more capable of honouring others, that are healthy and whole.

I have to work soon and I blame it on women... It's their fault

Kidding... Don't spank me

Jess once again you speak the truth; no one takes responsibility for their own actions as it's easier to blame someone else; everyone's looking for that quick "fix" to solve their problems. people need to learn that the "buck stops" with them if they want their lives to change. it's give and take in relationships, and giving up a little of yourself for another. we can't change anyone except ourselves.

Worded and spoken well lee. There is not anything I could add.

I agree Lee.

Yep, giggle all around