Hi there Mingle community, I just wanted to discuss why are people so engulfed in finding "love"? I was in a long term relationship for 6 years, but of course it came to an end, I took a break from dating,I took some time to evaluate my life and improve myself. After all of that I am back in the game to hopefully find someone, but often you see people jumping from relationship to relationship, honestly it puzzles me. I think sometimes when you break of a relationship you need to take time and look at your life and see if another relationship is the best thing for you at the moment, but who knows. Anyways thank you for reading, I hope all of you have a great day!! :)

Josh

I thought maybe this would be a discussion about Robert Palmer's song.

Not sure if "dating" and "looking for love" are synonymous.
Dating can mean having companionship, sharing a dinner or movie and yes sex.
Hopefully while dating you might find love also, but "love" is much harder and rarer then a "relationship". JMO

WE ALL HAVE ''STIMULUS HUNGER'' AND ''INCIDENT HUNGER'' .THIS IS THE SIMPLE

TRUTH WHY PEOPLE ARE ''ENGULFED IN FINDING LOVE'' AS YOU CALLED IT....WE ALL

HAVE STARTING GATE POSITIONS ON THE DRAMA TRIANGLE THAT NEEDS REINFORCING, AS

WELL AS RECYCLING FAVORITE FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS.....THAT SOUNDED OMINOUS AND

OVER THE TOP TO SOME...HOWEVER ITS REAL THOUGH...IN OTHER WORDS WE GET REWARDED

FOR OUR BEHAVIOR IN WAYS WE ARE UNCONIOUSLY LOOKING FOR....TAKE AWAY THE REWARD

AND THE BEHAVIOR STOPS AND THEN LOOKS FOR ANOTHER SOURCE...KIND LIKE WHEN MY

PUPPY CHASES ITS TAIL....

Actually, you do need a break psychologically speaking after a long term relationship. It allows you to deal the ridual feeling and emotions of the life you just left. Some people do not take the time to deal with their mental well-being crrying into relationship after relationship and wonder why it never works out. In those cases they don't take the time to discover the best things about themselves and the other person or lack thereof.

WHATS REALLY GOING ON IS EMOTIONAL NOT LOGICAL. STAYING FOCUSED ON THE SURFACE

NOISE WILL KEEP A PERSON STUCK ON AN ENDLESS LOOP OF FAVORITE FEELINGS AND KEEP

THE PERSON REINFORCING LIMITING BELIEFS....IT TAKES WORK, TO DISCOVER THE

UNCONCIOUS BELIEFS ABOUT OURSELVES AND OTHERS. AND GET AWAY FROM

WHO DID WHAT TO WHOM. WNEN WE ARE HAVING SERIUS PROBLEMS WITH PEOPLE IN OUR LIFE

ITS BECAUSE THE BEAUTIFUL LITTLE CHILD INSIDE US THAT WE WERE BORN WITH IS

WOUNDED...THE CHILD IN US NEEDS TO HEAL FOR THE PERSON TO HEAL.

Lots of reasons.
"Love" is a vague term that people can use to mean pretty much whatever they want.
So, why so engulfed?

- People are social creatures. They look to be around others. People like community. Ask anyone in the world what they like most they will usually dribble out something like "being around friends and family! My kids are my world!"
Engulfed in finding love = engulfed in finding other people, building more, stronger, deeper, family.

- People are junkies. Look at surfers that travel the world to find the perfect wave. Look at skydivers that jump out of airplanes as much as possible. Look at people that climb mountains, or run longer more strenuous marathons. Some people like a nice dime bag of relationship "love."
Some people like dopamine highs, some endorphin highs, some adrenaline highs, some a combination. The process of love from attraction to attachment offers all sorts of different chemical highs to compel people to have sex to make babies to perpetuate the species.

- People fear being ostracized. They want to be normal, they want to belong, they want to fit in, they want to be accepted. People have the same needs. From birth people are socialized in acceptable ways to independently fulfill those needs. If they fulfill them in unacceptable ways they're ostracized.
Some people are trained to value and idealize relationships as leading to having the ultimate purpose and reason in society, you know you have the "best" relationship society wants if you can feel or believe you have "love." If you find that relationship, then you belong, you're "better" than those that don't. The greater your status, the less likely you'll be kicked out.

- Love is one of the only areas that isn't regimented, controlled, or dictated by the government, an external non social force. There is a sense of freedom in its pursuit. People idealize and romanticize things that allow them to feel free and uncontrolled.
People love to feel absolute control over their life before they have to scurry back behind the shield of social conformity.


Lots of reasons why people so engulfed in finding love.

Ciretom has a good list.

The only things I want to add, is the observation that each person can have to learn the same lesson in different ways.

That for some, diving right back in is what they need to do. For others, taking a break is what they need.

Another thing: taking a break isn't magic. Some people benefit from it and some don't. Some people actually get worse, because during their "break," their only counsel is the same person who screwed up their last relationship: themselves.

Hence I am reluctant to make a broad or universal criticism of anyone.

Being in love can make us feel like we're on top of the world, but it's something that affects a lot more than our mood -- loving relationships improve our health, our looks and even our mood.

Just how powerful is love? It just may be the best medicine out there. Your strong relationship can do everything from lowering your blood pressure to helping you recover from cancer. It even keeps your skin healthy!

Here’s how love is making you happier, healthier and hotter than ever before.

1. Making Positive Lifestyle Changes Is Easier
2. Stress Relief And Improved Mood
3. Better Heart Health
4. Lengthens Your Life
5. Lowers Blood Pressure
6. Faster Cancer Recovery
7. Boosts Athletic Performance
8. Keeps You Slim
9. Makes You Look Younger

-http://www.self.com/flash/sex-and-relationships/2013/07/sexlove-love-good-for-health-beauty/

OP has deactivated. What else is new
That's why I usually don't bother replying to newbies' posts

Does this mean he was addicted to 6 year long relationships?

Josh, Life Is Beautiful to Waste Even A Day, and people have different personalities and coping mechanisms, whether you just came out from a relationship or not, whether it be short or long, It is But Part of the Circle of Life. If you are not ready to jump in then don't force yourself, it will come one day and you will just feel it inside you, no rules, no timing, if you come across it and felt something...Take The Shot...coz sometimes One Shot Is All It Takes!!! and There is just a Small Window for every opportunity and If you don't grab it, it might be gone forever, don't be afraid if you fall down many times, You're not Alone who experienced such but when you do fall, take note of all mistakes in that relationship and learn from it and come out a BETTER MAN!!!

It would have been a better topic.

I was hoping it would be too or maybe Robert Palmer! .. can't sleep .. can't eat.. no doubt you're in deep...