Topic: Jumping To FINAL Conclusions, Gossiping, Labelling
peggy122's photo
Sun 03/26/17 06:29 PM


IQ has a measurable standard


A college psychology professor of mine said, "The only thing that an IQ test measures is how well one does on that particular IQ test."


I agree Davis, but its the most accepted standard of intelligence it seems.

And if I am to be honest, I dont approve of many standardised forms of testing qualifying for some jobs either.

peggy122's photo
Sun 03/26/17 06:31 PM



IQ has a measurable standard


A college psychology professor of mine said, "The only thing that an IQ test measures is how well one does on that particular IQ test."
amen


....happy says Tmom and me

peggy122's photo
Sun 03/26/17 06:49 PM

Wow, I read the first page, then jumped to the last page with my thoughts of "Jumping to Conclusions" fresh in my mind and lo and behold, Race is still the focus! Now, I lost my thoughts I wanted to share.

Refocusing....

I must be different now than I was (I am but in this reference, a new look).

When my children were young and I had responsibility to my family and career I was forced to make conclusions about the things I saw people do that could have influence over my family or life. I used previous experiences to classify others apparent actions as to how I would interact with them or if I would permit my family to interact with them.

While I was not one to spread gossip, I did listen to it. I did understand that gossip is often opinionated and incorrect but I used the gossip I heard to make my own conclusions. I guess I viewed some with a slanted opinion myself. The gossip was used as a focus to look for not as an example of nature.

My life was filled with much drama and stress. Sometimes I would not sleep because I was worrying about things I heard in the gossip pool.

Recently, (Last 6 years) I have been focusing more on reality than my impression of reality. I have gotten to the point (only responsible for myself) where I really don't care how people act or what they choose to do unless it directly affects me. I have no interest in gossip which may be one of the reasons I don't attend many social functions.

People love to gossip. They love to hear gossip and create fantasy scenarios where none exist. It is a world of delusion and delusional thinking is lying to yourself or others. I do not like liars.

I often say:

"People are miserable most of the time. They love to see others that are in more misery than themselves so they feel good about themselves."

If there is not enough misery in those around them they will create scenarios to elevate perceptions of misery as either a hostile intent or a way to create misery in those they think are superior. Its really petty and shallow.

While some conclusions can be justified by experience, the delusional create scenarios based in fantasy that they perceive as experience. There are some that use their delusional fantasies to determine their own version of reality. Their lives are often filled with conflict, drama and stress because reality doesn't care what you think.
As those delusions fall, excuses for the reality then become a different delusion and it keeps going until reality is the only remaining perception.

Try to re-initiate gossip that has been found to be incorrect. It doesn't gain momentum because it is difficult to re-delude once reality is realized.

I don't care if you are gay.
I don't care if you are racist.
I don't care if you abuse the ones you love.
I don't care if you cross-dress.
I don't care what you think about me or someone else.

I do care about many things but only if it directly affects me or my relationship with you as I see it.

So, go ahead, gossip all you want...just leave me out of it.

Note: Speculation is not the same as gossip.



Compartmentalising what people say from who I believe I am has actually been very helpful to my sanity as well Tom.

And yes, It has meant , not giving priority to people's characterisations of me ie not caring to some extent

peggy122's photo
Sun 03/26/17 06:51 PM

D

Final answer...


Did I win something???


Ofcourse you do 2em, Heres a treat :banana: laugh

peggy122's photo
Sun 03/26/17 07:00 PM

Please don't jump to conclusions about my understanding of your statements because I do understand, I am just exasperating the words used to relay an intent. So often we expect everyone to know our intent that we fail to see how it might appear or sound to some.

It doesn't matter if it is the simple phrase of "I care about everyone" or placing your head on your sister's shoulder.

There are as many ways to 'take' something as there are different people.

Sometimes choosing the right words to express your meaning or taking the right actions is difficult when you don't know the audience. People tend to accept their own reasons for what they see or hear first. Sometimes the obvious is not obvious to all.


I understand what you mean Tom. And it falls perfectly in line with the thread topic . thank youflowerforyou

peggy122's photo
Sun 03/26/17 07:02 PM

Question:

What is the main reason/s behind people jumping to final conclusions ? Is it that ...

A. They lack critical thinking/deductive reasoning skills?
B. They are too lazy to consider alternative possibilities?
C. They are just close-minded/intolerant/judgmental regarding certain issues?
D. They want to entertain themselves with juicy perceptions/notions that THE TRUTH often wont provide. ?
E. Other reasons that you wish to share?
***********************************************************************************************************

Sorry about that Sis Peggy....I presume They Just have their Dirty Minds ....sad2


Thanks twin ! And yes , sometimes its probably due to dirty minds :(

Dodo_David's photo
Sun 03/26/17 07:11 PM

Question:

What is the main reason/s behind people jumping to final conclusions ? Is it that ...

A. They lack critical thinking/deductive reasoning skills?
B. They are too lazy to consider alternative possibilities?
C. They are just close-minded/intolerant/judgmental regarding certain issues?
D. They want to entertain themselves with juicy perceptions/notions that THE TRUTH often wont provide. ?
E. Other reasons that you wish to share?


E. They have been taught by others to see something that isn't there.

peggy122's photo
Sun 03/26/17 07:18 PM
hmmmm. Hadnt thought about that David but it makes sense,

Like if someone was cheated on, they might influence people around them to have a paranoia about it, and to label others without giving them a chance



msharmony's photo
Sun 03/26/17 07:24 PM
yes, david and peggy

perception comes from experiences and shapes reality

it can teach us to see more or less than whats there, depending upon our experiences and comfort levels

RustyKitty's photo
Sun 03/26/17 07:45 PM
Jumping to conclusions, gossping and labelling..
I will admit to being somewhat of a person who has had tendancies to jump to inaccurate conclusions
(and nothing to do with anything about race either)
I've learned not to ASSUME.. cause it makes an *** out of U and ME

peggy122's photo
Mon 03/27/17 04:00 AM

yes, david and peggy

perception comes from experiences and shapes reality

it can teach us to see more or less than whats there, depending upon our experiences and comfort levels


No disagreement hrre :)

peggy122's photo
Mon 03/27/17 04:04 AM

Jumping to conclusions, gossping and labelling..
I will admit to being somewhat of a person who has had tendancies to jump to inaccurate conclusions
(and nothing to do with anything about race either)
I've learned not to ASSUME.. cause it makes an *** out of U and ME



I s should have made that the title of my thread rusty kitty laugh cheers!drinker

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Mon 03/27/17 04:45 AM
Wow. Five pages already.

What this all reinforces for me, is something that I learned long ago, that a lot of people I have seen, never noticed or understood. That is, that being truly rational requires A LOT OF WORK.

Most people seem to me, to have as their primary goal in existing, to feel that they are right. Or at least, that they are on the right track. It's that urge to feel right, which most directly leads to jumping to conclusions, and to making the kind of FINAL (erroneous) decisions that our host complains of.

It's ironic, really. People want so much to be certain that they are right, they will often fight to remain wrong. Perhaps because being completely wrong in psychological surroundings that are familiar, feels safer than trying to find out what's really true, and having to go outside of one's comfort zone, and make a lot more changes to one's inner being in order to become right.

Side note: I have noticed in my own observations, that the KIND of conclusions people jump to, are very much linked to the context they are in when they make their leap. Take the people who assume a sexual link between a male and a female while at a summer camp, or a retreat of some kind. Many of the people there, are themselves on the prowl for sexual hookups, or at least thinking about them. That's why they assume sex. Put the same people in the waiting room at a dentist or doctor, and they are just as likely to more correctly guess, that one person is simply comforting an ailing friend or relative.

Dodo_David's photo
Mon 03/27/17 04:58 AM
It's ironic, really. People want so much to be certain that they are right, they will often fight to remain wrong. Perhaps because being completely wrong in psychological surroundings that are familiar, feels safer than trying to find out what's really true, and having to go outside of one's comfort zone, and make a lot more changes to one's inner being in order to become right.


I understand why jumping to the wrong conclusion would be psychologically comforting to a person when the reality is unpleasant to that person.

peggy122's photo
Mon 03/27/17 06:21 AM

Wow. Five pages already.

What this all reinforces for me, is something that I learned long ago, that a lot of people I have seen, never noticed or understood. That is, that being truly rational requires A LOT OF WORK.

Most people seem to me, to have as their primary goal in existing, to feel that they are right. Or at least, that they are on the right track. It's that urge to feel right, which most directly leads to jumping to conclusions, and to making the kind of FINAL (erroneous) decisions that our host complains of.

It's ironic, really. People want so much to be certain that they are right, they will often fight to remain wrong. Perhaps because being completely wrong in psychological surroundings that are familiar, feels safer than trying to find out what's really true, and having to go outside of one's comfort zone, and make a lot more changes to one's inner being in order to become right.

Side note: I have noticed in my own observations, that the KIND of conclusions people jump to, are very much linked to the context they are in when they make their leap. Take the people who assume a sexual link between a male and a female while at a summer camp, or a retreat of some kind. Many of the people there, are themselves on the prowl for sexual hookups, or at least thinking about them. That's why they assume sex. Put the same people in the waiting room at a dentist or doctor, and they are just as likely to more correctly guess, that one person is simply comforting an ailing friend or relative.


Very valid and thought provoking contribution as always Igor. drinker

Your rght. Sometimes the truth takes work and we are too lazy to endure that process. Your also right about the context of a scenario has a great impact upon our final interpretàtion of what we see.

And its also true that many of us have a compulsive need to be right.

But I question what we feel a need to be right over.

There are times that I assess a scenario ,.come up with a possible conclusion that might be very damaging to the people involved ,.and I actually start hoping that my interpretation was wrong.

What we want to be right about , and the lens we choose the view the scenario through, can imply alot about the quality of our character sometimes too, both good and bad.

peggy122's photo
Mon 03/27/17 06:22 AM
Edited by peggy122 on Mon 03/27/17 06:27 AM


Who wants to hear me say the same thing twice? (As if the first time wasnt torture enough. :smile: #Doublepost :)

no photo
Mon 03/27/17 07:38 AM

This was a thread on people jumping to conclusions?... how did racism find its way in?

why does racism find its way in?... all the time

It had nothing to do with racism... nothing.


I thought that when I first read it. what

msharmony's photo
Mon 03/27/17 07:43 AM
Edited by msharmony on Mon 03/27/17 07:46 AM


This was a thread on people jumping to conclusions?... how did racism find its way in?

why does racism find its way in?... all the time

It had nothing to do with racism... nothing.


I thought that when I first read it. what


It was part of the very first post funky

"It seems to be a popular practice to see or hear ONE THING, and come to a FIXED conclusion afterward.

A teenaged girl is spotted ONE TIME at night,walking with a group of boys, and she could be labelled a slut or boy-crazy.

A person says they only want to date inside their race , and they are labelled racist "


I could see the example seemed to be a tag of a previous thread's discussion so

I just pointed out that one example was not like the rest

kind of like saying that if someone shares they are 5 foot 3 and 200 pounds it is jumping to conclusions to say they are overweight,,,,not really the same as the other examples,,,, that was allflowerforyou

peggy122's photo
Mon 03/27/17 08:33 AM



This was a thread on people jumping to conclusions?... how did racism find its way in?

why does racism find its way in?... all the time

It had nothing to do with racism... nothing.


I thought that when I first read it. what


It was part of the very first post funky

"It seems to be a popular practice to see or hear ONE THING, and come to a FIXED conclusion afterward.

A teenaged girl is spotted ONE TIME at night,walking with a group of boys, and she could be labelled a slut or boy-crazy.

A person says they only want to date inside their race , and they are labelled racist "


I could see the example seemed to be a tag of a previous thread's discussion so

I just pointed out that one example was not like the rest

kind of like saying that if someone shares they are 5 foot 3 and 200 pounds it is jumping to conclusions to say they are overweight,,,,not really the same as the other examples,,,, that was allflowerforyou




The good news is that the few people who are idle enough to read through this dissertation of a thread laugh ,will be afforded more than one credible viewpoint for this very complex topic. And I have to give you props for your large contribution to that Ms H. drinker

Hopefully some might be enocouraged to dig a little deeper before coming to a final verdict on any issue.

I dont always agree with what you say but I have a better understanding of why you say it , and sometimes understanding and respect are way more important than agreement

And I have mad respect for you mama!
Thanks again flowers

peggy122's photo
Mon 03/27/17 08:53 AM

It's ironic, really. People want so much to be certain that they are right, they will often fight to remain wrong. Perhaps because being completely wrong in psychological surroundings that are familiar, feels safer than trying to find out what's really true, and having to go outside of one's comfort zone, and make a lot more changes to one's inner being in order to become right.


I understand why jumping to the wrong conclusion would be psychologically comforting to a person when the reality is unpleasant to that person.


Do you have an example of this david? Im not sure if I understand your context