I was reading another post and thought i might clearify a few things. There are many different types of relationships, some monogamous and some not. My husband and I have been together for 5 yrs and he is the best thing that has ever happen to me. Over the years he has let me come out of my shell and let me be me and I with him. He is a natural flirt and that's him why try to change someone because of this world has to put a lable on it. we have been in 2 poly relationships and it has tought us that we are just wired different. My children (whom are all 16 and older) have been happy that i have found someone that lets me be me. I have always had an attraction to women but was always afraid to show it, Im not affraid anymore. My only thing is I tend to be a little shy, been out of the datting life ling time.

One thing about being poly is NO SECRETS. He tells me who he talks to and sometimes asked my opinion about them. He has even tried to help me find a girlfriend. Contrary to belief we do not share. He has his relationships and I have mine.

And for those who think its the same thing as swinging try reading on it. There are more people out there than you think

https://www.morethantwo.com/polyamory.html

Will be willing to talk to others like us and hear success stories or not so happy ones and need to vent

Your message is direct and honest. Most people are not aware of the variance in sexual behavior and such ignorance compels much confusion and unnecessary pain to those similarly inclined. Hope you both continue and provide the support and love you share...

Hi amohon.

I think every couple should do what makes them happy ,((once its legal) whether I approve of it or not, and I do admire the honesty of formal multi partner relationships, as opposed to the disrespectful affairs that partners engage in behind each other's back.

But I do question why it would be practiced in a MARRIAGE. Most cultures define marriage as a lifelong commitment even if the commitment is to several people at a time, as with a polygamous marriage.

With all the freedom that multi partner relationships endorse , why embark upon the covenant of marriage with all of the boundaries and limitations that underscore the institution of marriage? Why not remain single and be with as many people as you want as often as you want?

Also, and please correct me if Im wrong, marriage generally implies that the person you are wedded to, is the main partner right? If in exploring other relationships , you fall deeply in love with someone else outside of the marriage... What if it happens to the point that you find yourself yearning to replace the person you married, with the outside person you fell in love with? What if you find yourself investing more of your body and emotions into that person instead of the person you are married to?

And if you were attracted to women all your life, why did you need a a husband to validate your choice to explore a lesbian lifestyle?

Why couldnt you do that outside of marriage?

Nobody is obligated to justify their lifestyle to me. I am just saying that I genuinely dont understand it, and what I articulated above, are genuine questions I have in my head about it.

there is no problem with asking questions. when we aske questions we get clarification on a topic that we may not understand. When he told me, after being married for 2yrs, about who he was and that he didn't want to hide from me what he wanted. I was worried that he may find another person to take my place. I have always called him my saving grace. He took me out of a place where it was not emotionally good for me or even my children.

I truly appreciate you taking the time to answer my question amohon. I know you dont owe me any explanation

But Im still confused. How do you know as the wife that your husband hasnt emotionally replaced you? Is it the fact that he comes home to you everyday that makes you feel like a secure wife? Or that he tells you he loves you alone?

What makes you feel that his commitment to you is secure? And what makes him feel that your commitment is secure in return?

poly amor ... its very hard to read it let alone understand . but to each his own. nobody gets hurt (considering also people who care for them) and ends up happy ...they deserve respect.

Yes, very honest.

I'm more Spartan. No muddy water. If you are with me, your with me. If you want someone else...go and be free. I would not want to waste my energy by being in a quad or more relationship.
Maybe if is was middle eastern or Mormon, then I could handle multiple wives....

Nah.....I'd rather break up and start over. The idea of sharing your love with other people is a bit off putting.

I do admire you trust in your beliefs.
Ciao

You two are in what they call " Open Relationship ".
If I was polyamorous I wouldn't marry, I'd feel like a hypocrite. Marriage is supposed to be exclusive of all others but the wedded, even married gays acknowledge that.
It's not up to me to judge you, whatever floats your boat, as they say.
I find it sad that people nowadays are ready to defile themselves in the name open-mindedness and modernism. To me it's plain old promiscuity with a new name.
If promiscuity is now regarded upon with approval I don't then understand why men are shamed for extramarital affairs or even for seeing a prostitute.
One thing I've noticed though. This society is quick to condone a woman's promiscuity while at the same time quick to condemn the same in a man.
Double standards will define our times.

As long as they are consenting adults, not my business. It's not my thing though
I don't share. When I am in a relationship, it's only him

ya I don't get it
why even call it a marriage then
I am first to admit I am judgemental
I do not condone it
accept it or want anything to do with it

sounds more like a kept woman than a wife
if you were financially able
would you still put up with this?



ya ya whatever, I know it is not PC to actually voice an opinion anymore

My thoughts as well~~~

Yep. I am not PC. I can express what I want without following rules set by who knows

online dating opens the door
to all the bullsh*t and lifestyle choices I want nothing to do with

I am not up to date on all the pronouns and termonology when it comes to the LGBTQ community..course they keep adding to it all the time

I do not want to be involved with a threesome or group activity and call it love

I am not going to sit and listen to your woes me stories about how the wife doesn't understand you

I am not going to send you a picture of me in lingerie or high heels just cause you like your woman that way


I don't know ...maybe this is an age thing
or why many are intimidated by American women

I am self aware enough to know what it is I need in a relationship in order to feel fulfilled

As long as proper etiquette is practiced...
if you finish the tube of lube, you should buy the next one...Grrrrr.

Why do you feel the need to post a "I'm/we're not really bad people" thread?

By the way, I think you've mislabeled yourself. "Poly" is for people who arrange marriages of multiple people, usually with both multiple males and multiple females, all under one roof, in a single unit, and all exclusive with each other within that group. They are very rare.

What you're describing sounds more like what used to be called "open marriage," where two people SAY they are devoted to staying together as a family unit, but also screw around with random strangers on the side.

The other term I've heard, is "poly-amorous." That seems to refer to people who wanted to find a more positive way to say that they like to mess around, but never really commit to anyone for any length of time. That, or people who want to say they are bisexual, but don't like the term bisexual for some reason.

Yup, guess, were not that open minded....but I think we are rocking these jeans!!!!

It intrigues me how society's openess to certain taboo issues have evolved over time.

I remember how women who got pregnant out of wedlock , were considered to be sluts, as were women who lived with their boyfriends before marriage... until it happened to YOUR daughter..

..And ALL homosexuals were considered promiscuous , depraved and diseased....until the homosexual was YOUR son

.. And interacial marriage was considered a shameful perversion of love , until YOU fell in love with someone of another race.

It seems like people are only open minded enough to ask questions about taboo topics , when that topic is attached to a face or a heart that is close to home.

No one will ever be able to convince me to explore a lesbian, bisexual,polyamerous , swingers or BDSM lifestyle because it clashes with my personal value system.. But what do I have to lose by trying to understand the alternative life choices of other people who inhabit my world?

And somehow if one of them were to call the police on a buglar who was attacking me, I wouldn't give a second thought to their controversial lifestyle.