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Topic: Hard to trust again
bratinelamae's photo
Wed 09/20/17 10:21 AM
How can i find my true love? If i still dont know how to trust a man again:disappointed:

no photo
Wed 09/20/17 10:29 AM
Looking for anything sometimes means you make it harder to find. Just enjoy the ride but pay attention to the signs. If their good it's ah go if not, get the hell outta the car. #astroknott

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Wed 09/20/17 10:36 AM
Edited by SparklingCrystal 💖💎 on Wed 09/20/17 10:38 AM
It is hard when you've been hurt. But the lack in trust is not in men but in yourself.
How you can trust again? by learning to love yourself, everything about you, flaws and all, knowing you are worthy. No, not just knowing, feeling you are worthy, being totally 500% convinced you are worthy.
Then you can trust again, because you know that no matter what happens, you got you and you don't need anyone else for that.
As long as you feel you need a man, need him to feel good, to feel strong, to feel secure, you will find it difficult to trust. Because as soon as he leaves, he takes that good feeling, that strength and security with him, leaving you 'helpless'.
So you have to know you got yourself, you can do it yourself. Meaning you got to work on self-worth and self-esteem. Plenty of free stuff on how to do this on the internet.
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bmahan78's photo
Wed 09/20/17 10:47 AM
Not to sound mean, but get over it. ****, we ain't all bastards. I just happen to play one on T. V. try lesbianism. :smiling_imp:

bmahan78's photo
Wed 09/20/17 10:47 AM
Not to sound mean, but get over it. ****, we ain't all bastards. I just happen to play one on T. V. try lesbianism. :smiling_imp:

mightymoe's photo
Wed 09/20/17 12:58 PM

How can i find my true love? If i still dont know how to trust a man again:disappointed:
so, one bad apple spoils the barrel...

peggy122's photo
Wed 09/20/17 01:30 PM
Edited by peggy122 on Wed 09/20/17 01:43 PM
Hmmmmmm...

If you feel strong enough to look inside yourself, maybe you can ask yourself why you made romantic choices in the past that werent so good for you. Ask yourself if there were times in those relationships where your gut told you to move on, and ask yourself why you didnt listen.

If its because you thought you didnt deserve love or you didnt trust your instincts, as hinted in one of the posts above, then I agree you might want to take time away from the dating scene to work on your self confidence.

Start a diary about the things you are good at , your positive qualities, and the good decisions you made in your life. Revisit your treasure chest of cards, letters and messages over the years that express the love people have for you and their reasons for doing so , and make a note of every thing you accomplish or improve at everyday to slowly boost your esteem.

But even after your confidence grows, I don't think there is any need to put pressure on yourself to trust every random guy who approaches you. You are not obligated to give your heart to a guy after a week, a month or anytime for that matter ... So get to know a guy you like ,one date at a time ,to see if his actions remain consistent over a reasonable period. any guy who tries to rush you into anything, is probably not the right one for you.

Baby steps..

Good luck Bratinelamae flowerforyou

waringmark's photo
Wed 09/20/17 02:46 PM
Just make sure that you first love yourself, and work on your flaws
then you will find soul you can not do without

no photo
Sat 09/23/17 11:36 AM
Hi, i feel the same way dear.
hopeless guy.
keep picking the same story line





maybwecan's photo
Sat 09/23/17 01:11 PM


How can i find my true love? If i still dont know how to trust a man again:disappointed:
so, one bad apple spoils the barrel...


yes...what's up with that?...literally millions of guys...and you toss yourself off the cliff because of one?...

i agree with the other members...take a look inside yourself - how is your self esteem?...self confidence?...do you need a man to complete you?...are you strong enough to say "take a hike" when the red flags start appearing?...

my nickel

mightymoe's photo
Sat 09/23/17 01:21 PM



How can i find my true love? If i still dont know how to trust a man again:disappointed:
so, one bad apple spoils the barrel...


yes...what's up with that?...literally millions of guys...and you toss yourself off the cliff because of one?...

i agree with the other members...take a look inside yourself - how is your self esteem?...self confidence?...do you need a man to complete you?...are you strong enough to say "take a hike" when the red flags start appearing?...

my nickel


actually, there's billions of dudes...smokin

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Thu 09/28/17 04:03 AM

It is hard when you've been hurt. But the lack in trust is not in men but in yourself.
How you can trust again? by learning to love yourself, everything about you, flaws and all, knowing you are worthy. No, not just knowing, feeling you are worthy, being totally 500% convinced you are worthy.
Then you can trust again, because you know that no matter what happens, you got you and you don't need anyone else for that.
As long as you feel you need a man, need him to feel good, to feel strong, to feel secure, you will find it difficult to trust. Because as soon as he leaves, he takes that good feeling, that strength and security with him, leaving you 'helpless'.
So you have to know you got yourself, you can do it yourself. Meaning you got to work on self-worth and self-esteem. Plenty of free stuff on how to do this on the internet.
.
.
.



Close, but there's one thing more that I tumbled to a while back.

The way to move past your loss of trust in the people who you want to choose a mate from, isn't to try to find blind faith in love again.

The way to do it, is to work within yourself, to make it UNNECESSARY to have trust in the other people. Everything from small steps, such as not depending on your potential mate to be the driver all the time, to not requiring the potential mate to take the lead in deciding things like intimacy all the time, to larger things, like not being at all financially dependent on anyone else. And finally, of course, finding how to not be dependent on the other for your sense of "I'm living the way I should."

no photo
Thu 09/28/17 04:45 AM
and even harder to trust oneself when oneself has been consistently wrong frustrated

no photo
Thu 09/28/17 06:33 AM
Fed up of people saying men they all the same, how about men and women are just as bad as each other, there we go, done.

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Fri 09/29/17 12:58 PM

and even harder to trust oneself when oneself has been consistently wrong frustrated


Absolutely. However, in that observation, lies the solution as well.

If you don't trust someone else, there's little if anything that you can do to cause them to make themselves more trustworthy. But when you don't trust yourself, you CAN work on everything.

Most of the time, when you make choices that fail to work out for you, if you look closely at your decisions, you are likely to realize that you did what you THOUGHT THAT YOU SHOULD DO, rather than what you personally selected to do. What you distrust about yourself isn't actually you, it's who or what you chose to take as your guide. To rebuild your own trust, the best method is usually to DISCARD your external guide, and just start deciding entirely for yourself, especially on lots of small things.

You rebuild your ability to trust your own decision making, one decision at a time. You will make mistakes, but when it's YOU deciding each time, you will instantly learn and internalize your lessons. When you are following someone else's direction, you can't learn, because you always doubt whether your mistake was in the decision, or in the process of performing the decision. So every time things go wrong, instead of gaining further insight into yourself, you only add doubt.

So. Trust yourself. Obey ONLY yourself. After you rebuild your personal life that way, you will find in turn that you will be able to trust others, because you will know WHERE you can and can't allow someone else to run things.

no1phD's photo
Fri 09/29/17 01:17 PM
It's not hard to trust.. all you got to do is Ghost their phone keep tabs on them through GPS t tracking.
And insert a little explosive capsule up their anus.
Let them know if for any reason you feel like you don't trust them.. BAM.. blow them up..lol.. who says trust is a two-way Street..lol

no photo
Fri 09/29/17 04:37 PM


and even harder to trust oneself when oneself has been consistently wrong frustrated


Absolutely. However, in that observation, lies the solution as well.

If you don't trust someone else, there's little if anything that you can do to cause them to make themselves more trustworthy. But when you don't trust yourself, you CAN work on everything.

Most of the time, when you make choices that fail to work out for you, if you look closely at your decisions, you are likely to realize that you did what you THOUGHT THAT YOU SHOULD DO, rather than what you personally selected to do. What you distrust about yourself isn't actually you, it's who or what you chose to take as your guide. To rebuild your own trust, the best method is usually to DISCARD your external guide, and just start deciding entirely for yourself, especially on lots of small things.

You rebuild your ability to trust your own decision making, one decision at a time. You will make mistakes, but when it's YOU deciding each time, you will instantly learn and internalize your lessons. When you are following someone else's direction, you can't learn, because you always doubt whether your mistake was in the decision, or in the process of performing the decision. So every time things go wrong, instead of gaining further insight into yourself, you only add doubt.

So. Trust yourself. Obey ONLY yourself. After you rebuild your personal life that way, you will find in turn that you will be able to trust others, because you will know WHERE you can and can't allow someone else to run things.

^^^^ love

no1phD's photo
Fri 09/29/17 05:13 PM


It's not hard to trust.. all you got to do is Ghost their phone keep tabs on them through GPS t tracking.
And insert a little explosive capsule up their anus.
Let them know if for any reason you feel like you don't trust them.. BAM.. blow them up..lol.. who says trust is a two-way Street..lol
you might want to reconsider the location of the capsule . Your toilet has already exploded how many times laugh laugh
.. once or twice LOL I don't know why I come off as un trustworthy

no1phD's photo
Fri 09/29/17 05:17 PM




It's not hard to trust.. all you got to do is Ghost their phone keep tabs on them through GPS t tracking.
And insert a little explosive capsule up their anus.
Let them know if for any reason you feel like you don't trust them.. BAM.. blow them up..lol.. who says trust is a two-way Street..lol
you might want to reconsider the location of the capsule . Your toilet has already exploded how many times laugh laugh
.. once or twice LOL I don't know why I come off as un trustworthy
no I was meaning when your girl friend visits for some no.1 Phd laugh laugh
.. silly goose when they're with me I have no reason not to trust them so therefore no reason to blow them up..

Unless of course they are the blow up type of girlfriend..lmao.. I don't have a lot of those types of girlfriends.. and I prefer the term lady friend over Girlfriend by the way

no1phD's photo
Fri 09/29/17 05:23 PM
Edited by no1phD on Fri 09/29/17 05:24 PM






It's not hard to trust.. all you got to do is Ghost their phone keep tabs on them through GPS t tracking.
And insert a little explosive capsule up their anus.
Let them know if for any reason you feel like you don't trust them.. BAM.. blow them up..lol.. who says trust is a two-way Street..lol
you might want to reconsider the location of the capsule . Your toilet has already exploded how many times laugh laugh
.. once or twice LOL I don't know why I come off as un trustworthy
no I was meaning when your girl friend visits for some no.1 Phd laugh laugh
.. silly goose when they're with me I have no reason not to trust them so therefore no reason to blow them up..

Unless of course they are the blow up type of girlfriend..lmao.. I don't have a lot of those types of girlfriends.. and I prefer the term lady friend over Girlfriend by the way
ah ... so you only insert the exploding capaule when your lady friend is out of sight .. curious to know how the capsule stays in situ .. how well did you think this through .
.. well obviously I .. didn't really think it through.. I don't work for the CIA.. I didn't think drugging her and then surgically implanting it would send the right message to..her
.lol

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