I am truly sorry.
I wish I could take all your pain away
The only thing I want is for you to be happy. I will pray for you. I love you. Stay strong, ((((((Crystal))))).

((((((((( CrystalFairy )))))))))


I am so sorry for your pain..

Get those drums out and hit the hell outta them!

Sorry to hear Crystal.
Here is a group hug just for you x

I'm feel for you. Try to remember that we gain wisdon from both good and bad experiences. Hopefully, the wisdom you have gained from this "enhances the quality" of your future relationships.
Personally, from the very little I know of you, that guy was CRAZY to lose you.


Hopefully you will not adopt this attitude. Thinking like that can cause you to be resentful and expect future problems. A dangerous mindset that can lead to depression and low self-esteem.
You have A LOT of great things going for you as the person you are. Keep your self-esteem healthy and positive.


Agreed but have the strength to examine your own contributions, identify your weak parts honestly/accurately and make positive changes so future relationships are better. I know you have the strength and the intelligence to do so.

Realize...

Thank you, Peggy, that is sweet!

Thank you. Yes, the man made me happy. ANd even though I'm hurting I do see the beautiful things he gave me. I've grown so much since I met him last year. He was the best match I've ever had, so yes, I was happy, and thinking I'd finally found 'the keeper'.
I'll get over it. And sure there are options, but right now I think I am going to need some healing first. Anyone I'd date now is not going to be it. You cannot meet someone when you're heart is aching and longing to be with someone else. Doesn't work. Only attracts the wrong people.
One of the worst things I feel, apart from the pain of it being over and not having him in my life anymore, is the sense that my safety net has gone.
I don't mean that in a co-dependent way, don't get me wrong on that. Just that it feels so good to have a man in your life who's got your back when necessary. Not to sort out every little detail, that co-dependent. But a man to do the 'man things' when push comes to shove. I've not had that in lord knows how long, maybe never.
And it felt so freaking wonderful to feel that, to know I wasn't alone. Again not in a needy way. Gosh, sometimes it's difficult to explain things in a 2nd language, hihi.
In any case, thanks for your words! I'll get there, but it's going to take time.

Owww... that made me cry, because it is so sweet!
Thank you so much!!

Thank you!

Thank you, Tom, really sweet!
I hope at some point I will meet a man who will realise he'd be crazy to risk losing me.
Right now just have to heal. It's so bleeped up... I was going to see him on Friday, and I was literally counting down the nights. It would've been just 2 more nights and then we'd be together, now suddenly there won't be any more nights. Yes, that freaking hurts.
And no, I won't get depressed. I'll get over it. But man, does it sux to have to go through this again at this age, pfff... When I was younger I always figured this stuff was for teenagers and then it'd be over with and you live happily ever after. Did that go wrong, haha.

For me, at age 50 after a 25 year marriage I had to realize that I was giving power to emotions I didn't want.
That was when things started to get better.
I hope you find your serenity, perhaps a nice crystal gazing will help.
A fresh sparkle to set your soul free again.

Try to remember that depression is self-perpetuating and full of deception and doubt. Only you can stop it when you decide enough is enough.

Yes, you are right. It's just the mind that does it's own thing isn't it... remembering memories that were so beautiful, knowing I won't ever see him again, not as my partner anyways, that sort of stuff, and the pain that comes from it.
What does help now is that we never saw each other a number of times a week because of the distance. It was once a month on average. And the fact that I've sensed something was off for 2 months. That was nerve-racking, yet it somehow helps now.
Somehow it's as if I already knew. My intuition turns out to be more accurate than even I myself thought... For instance, the b-day card he gave me in May had a special place ever since. I put that in a drawer last week. No idea why. All that time it had been special, suddenly I wanted it out of sight. Same with the decoration that had come with the flowers he got me for my birthday. They're still there, but I thought of putting them away.
Kind of odd... But it seems that deep down I knew that it was more than just off.

What does not help at all is the fact I do not understand it. But I guess I should try to let go of wanting to understand it. I have a pretty good idea what is at play, but that's his problem, won't help me one bit.
So yeah, all that remains is take care of myself, heal, move on...

Right now going through anger and a form of rejection.
I had thought I was going to skip anger, I guess I was wrong. The rejection sux big time, a very sore spot as it is, I was working on healing it, getting somewhere but this doesn't help.
Last week has been very difficult for me. I was doing okayish with dips here and there, felt I was going through it okay. Then suddenly it's as if I've gone 2 steps forward, then 3 back.
I don't want to be in pain, don't want any of this at all, don't want the anger and tears. But dang, is it difficult.
Wished we were equipped with an on-off switch for love.
I still don't get how someone can go from loving you and being nuts about you to falling for someone else. Stupid A-hole.

That is such..... my vocabulary is not enough to describe what I think of the guy go out dear and make yourself even more prettier . Most people don’t appreciate what they have till they lose it. Things can only get better and I believe that with you. A man more deserving of you will come and value you the way you should be. More hugs to you crystal

Thank you...
I know I will get through it, and I want to come out the other end with my heart still open and intact so I can open up to someone else again at some point. I don't want to end up bitter, disappointed and unable to trust again for the rest of my life.
But I'm not there yet. Gosh, I hate this chit.

Thank you, KLC, does me good to hear that!

Sorry to read things haven't worked out for you, stay positive and see what 2018 brings, a whole new year ahead and completely untouched.

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