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Topic: Alone but not really lonely
no1phD's photo
Thu 11/23/17 06:01 PM
Edited by no1phD on Thu 11/23/17 06:27 PM
Loneliness is a funny thing ..it's mostly in your mind I guess.. it's funny how you can be in a relationship.. and not see the other person everyday.. but feel connected to them somehow.. so when you're alone you really don't feel alone.. but when you lose that person for whatever reason.. that's when you feel being alone the most.. that's when you feel actually .. lonely and all alone..

Even your day to day. Normal routine seems even lonelier than usual
... once you find yourself alone with yourself again.... eating dinner watching TV just seems crushingly lonely.. once you're out of that relationship..
Oddly enough nothing's really changed you're still eating and still watching the same show
.. but somehow now it's not the same..
.. even going to the grocery store.. now takes on a whole new meaning... when you're in a relationship ..your just grocery shopping ..maybe for things, to make your partner for dinner.. but now you're just grocery shopping for yourself... funny how before the relationship.. grocery shopping for yourself seemed perfectly normal...

Hard to get back to that perfectly normal..
It's funny how our mind tricks us... alone but not really lonely
..

TMommy's photo
Thu 11/23/17 06:13 PM
ya I guess I don't really feel like that..but then again I have been alone a lot over the past tweny years or so even when I was married
funny..cause when I think back to me as a kid
I was shy, helped out around the house
wanted to do nothing more than be a wife and mother someday
then after doing it for twenty years
I just wanted to be done
not with mom part of course
but then he had some major insecurities
was a grade A kling on

so I have the tendency to apreciate my own time
do I get lonesome once in awhile? oh sure
just not willing to put up with a lot of crap
comes along with being in a relationship

no1phD's photo
Thu 11/23/17 06:31 PM
Edited by no1phD on Thu 11/23/17 06:50 PM
Yes !..that's the thing being in a relationship but still needing your alone time... you even cherish it.. but you're still not really alone.. because you know ..That the other person is there for you... but when they're gone... it's hard to get back to feeling okay with being alone

Ladywind7's photo
Thu 11/23/17 06:43 PM
My cure for that aloneness is to never be home. I am always at my friends house now after work. You can't be lonely in great company :-)

no1phD's photo
Thu 11/23/17 06:50 PM
Yes doing that just makes me feel like I'm running away from my loneliness..
I hate that.. but at the same time I hate confronting my loneliness

no1phD's photo
Thu 11/23/17 06:52 PM
It's in that moment when you have to swallow hard.. say to yourself you will get through this.. you will become comfortable with being alone again.. of course that's hard to do.. it makes you even feel worse for even having to tell yourself that

no1phD's photo
Thu 11/23/17 06:53 PM
Makes you wonder why any of us would even think of looking to be in a relationship ever... I guess that's why it's best if you do make sure you're in it for the Long Haul

Ladywind7's photo
Thu 11/23/17 06:54 PM

Yes doing that just makes me feel like I'm running away from my loneliness..
I hate that.. but at the same time I hate confronting my loneliness


I hope you find true love soon Doc.
That is the perfect cure!! flowerforyou

no1phD's photo
Thu 11/23/17 06:56 PM
Problem is how do you know that person is going to be your forever and ever person..
You don't!!.. it takes time to figure that out.

BUT In that time ..you grow comfortable with not being alone again.. it may take you weeks even months to come to the realization.. that maybe things aren't going to work out... then Wham-O.. back to being alone again.... God why do you do this to us..lol

no1phD's photo
Thu 11/23/17 06:57 PM


Yes doing that just makes me feel like I'm running away from my loneliness..
I hate that.. but at the same time I hate confronting my loneliness


I hope you find true love soon Doc.
That is the perfect cure!! flowerforyou
.. I think true love is for the story books... I would settle with just being with somebody I can be comfortable with.... no drama

Ladywind7's photo
Thu 11/23/17 06:59 PM
You just have to remember how exciting it is to fall in love, think no further than one day at a time you worry wort lol

no photo
Thu 11/23/17 07:04 PM
Edited by lu_rosemary on Thu 11/23/17 07:05 PM

You can have people in your life and still feel disconnected. ... Loneliness can happen even when you have many social contacts such as friends. I think the key if can put it this way is to stay busy..

no1phD's photo
Thu 11/23/17 07:06 PM

You just have to remember how exciting it is to fall in love, think no further than one day at a time you worry wort lol
..yes.. to be young and dumb again let yourself fall in love think nothing of the consequences.. it will all work itself out..
But Nene say I ..the older I.. the wiser I that knows better... at this stage in life you have to think down the road.. you have to look at each possible partner.. thoroughly..
And hang on to what it is you really want.. in a partner.... but the problem is when you connect with someone.. all those things you thought you wanted seem to fly out the window... until the new person makes you shake your head and say to yourself what am I doing.. this isn't what I wanted..
Wham-O back to being alone again..wink.

no1phD's photo
Thu 11/23/17 07:10 PM
Edited by no1phD on Thu 11/23/17 07:11 PM


You can have people in your life and still feel disconnected. ... Loneliness can happen even when you have many social contacts such as friends. I think the key if can put it this way is to stay busy..
.. yes that seems to be the recurring thing .. throw obstacles in front of the loneliness.. anything will do!!.self help class.. cooking class.. go to the gym..
Do anything!! just to keep your mind off of the fact that you're alone.... most days you say we're okay with being alone... but on those days 'when you think.. why am I alone..? it sucks!! not having somebody in my life.. you look up to the heavens and say "why what's the matter with me"?..lol.. and then sure enough you turn the corner and bump into somebody... thank God no more loneliness... 6 months later Wham-O why didn't I just stay alone while I was still used to it..lol

Ladywind7's photo
Thu 11/23/17 07:10 PM
You are a hard man Doc. Of course you check out all that BEFORE the first date. You take time and observe them...

no1phD's photo
Thu 11/23/17 07:15 PM
Edited by no1phD on Thu 11/23/17 07:16 PM

You are a hard man Doc. Of course you check out all that BEFORE the first date. You take time and observe them...
.. First Dates can be deceiving.. alcohol perfume and cologne good looks..
And don't forget.. you've been alone for a while so you're feeling a little horny shall we say..lol... but if they check off some of those check marks on your list..well.. when you look over to that person in the morning and say to yourself ..last night was awesome.. thank God I'm not alone anymore... at that moment you stop really looking at them very hard.. your just happy to be with somebody... then Wham-O.. three weeks later.. why didn't I just go home alone and masturbate instead of sleeping with them that first night.. lol..but that's okay cuz now you're alone.. masturbating alone again..lol

Ladywind7's photo
Thu 11/23/17 07:49 PM
No wonder you are unhappy with the women whom you date!!
A great woman chooses the time and place and it is not on the first date
It is when it will mean something to both of you.
Goodness, get to know each other beforehand. Going to shower and work.
Take care x

TMommy's photo
Thu 11/23/17 07:59 PM
Edited by TMommy on Thu 11/23/17 08:01 PM



Yes doing that just makes me feel like I'm running away from my loneliness..
I hate that.. but at the same time I hate confronting my loneliness


I hope you find true love soon Doc.
That is the perfect cure!! flowerforyou
.. I think true love is for the story books... I would settle with just being with somebody I can be comfortable with.... no drama
that statement..I hear come out of mouths of many people
is an improbability..in fact, it is impossible

two people come into contact with one another
unique combination of genetics, environment
parental and family influences
culture and all the circumstances you have experienced in your life
up to this point
you will at some point or another be in discord over something
which will result in 'drama'



you ever take the time to look for patterns in your own life
if you seem to end up at the same point again and again
perhaps try something new

no1phD's photo
Thu 11/23/17 10:04 PM
Edited by no1phD on Thu 11/23/17 10:13 PM

Sits in the corner and smiles ...I have some new mouse traps to cheer you up :wink: waving
..awww thanks but I don't think mouse traps are going to cheer me up this time... I need something a little more drastic... maybe a amputation of a certain appendage... sometimes one head is better than two..lol

no1phD's photo
Thu 11/23/17 10:24 PM

No wonder you are unhappy with the women whom you date!!
A great woman chooses the time and place and it is not on the first date
It is when it will mean something to both of you.
Goodness, get to know each other beforehand. Going to shower and work.
Take care x
.. I didn't say that's the practice that I believe in ..... and besides sex is sex doesn't matter if you wait a day a week or a month.. giving yourself to somebody.. is a form of togetherness.. not a declaration of commitment.. I could wait a month for you to have sex with me.. and then 2 weeks later we can break up...

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