Topic: Arguing in public. How do you feel?
no photo
Mon 02/05/18 03:30 PM
I won't argue in public. I would not embarrass my mate.. and make myself look like a a*s.

I just don't do it

now alone with her in the car... that's a different story Lol

no photo
Mon 02/05/18 03:38 PM
Edited by Ness_a on Mon 02/05/18 03:44 PM

I'm not sure how far back my aversion to arguing in public goes. It may have been triggered by my being upset when my parents argued in front of us kids. I have horrible memories of that.

Since then, I've seen a lot of public arguments, and I've noticed a couple of unrelated things.

One is that some people pick fights with their "mate" in public on purpose, as a manipulative technique. Sometimes they just want to embarrass the "mate" into giving in, to shut them up, and sometimes it's an attempt to artificially gain allies in a weird way. Kind of like in forums,when someone posts an argument, not to sort out their own thoughts, but rather to enlist allies that they can then fling in their "mates" face.

Another, is the thing about arguing over a cell phone. Frankly, I think fewer people have mentally caught up with how cell phone conversations work, than realize it. Lots of people talk on the phone, the same way they talk when they are wearing headphones. The have no sense of the fact that everyone around them, hears them even better than the person on the other end, that they are yelling at.




My aversion may stem from the same Igor. No a pleasant experience. flowerforyou

All great points too...as usual.

Stupid autocorrect!

no photo
Mon 02/05/18 03:43 PM
Edited by Ness_a on Mon 02/05/18 03:44 PM

I won't argue in public. I would not embarrass my mate.. and make myself look like a a*s.

I just don't do it

now alone with her in the car... that's a different story Lol


No, I can't imagine you would embarrass your mate. But don't drive when you're upset...laugh I forgot in Jersey that's just normal. rofl

no photo
Mon 02/05/18 04:15 PM

I have a pocket taser in my bra ... it is a little bulky but it is a handy deterrent when I don't feel motivated to argue :angel:


Look out fellas! laugh

Argo's photo
Mon 02/05/18 04:17 PM
i think the ONLY acceptable public arguments are those
that occur on internet forums, that is until they escalate
into one or both parties resort to using CAPITAL LETTERS..

no photo
Mon 02/05/18 05:44 PM
I Hate arguments where ever place at whatever time. I avoid them like the plague . If people argue in front of me I walk away or try to let them
Know I am uncomfortable. Just me

Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 02/05/18 05:53 PM
I think it depends a lot on the subject priority and the personality of the participants.
I learned arguing with my X was a no-no whether in public or not.
Her personality was such that she had no trouble making a scene out of any disagreement.
On the flip-side, I once had a girlfriend that could argue her point calmly and without grandiose fanfare. In public, if we could not reach an agreement we walked away from the decision. I have the ability to see others points of view. Most of the time I just went along with her because it really did no harm.

I do not like when people are yelling at each other on their phones in public. These personalities forget they are in public and shout the most vile stuff for everyone in earshot to hear. If you treat others that you know like THAT, I don't want anything to do with you.

no photo
Mon 02/05/18 05:57 PM

i think the ONLY acceptable public arguments are those
that occur on internet forums, that is until they escalate
into one or both parties resort to using CAPITAL LETTERS..


I DISAGREE! grumble
laugh

Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 02/05/18 06:00 PM
HEAR HEAR
ORDER IN THE FORUM
ORDER IN THE FORUM
laugh :wink: laugh

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Mon 02/05/18 06:01 PM
don't yell sad


bigsmile

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Mon 02/05/18 06:01 PM

I Hate arguments where ever place at whatever time. I avoid them like the plague . If people argue in front of me I walk away or try to let them
Know I am uncomfortable. Just me


I think a lot of people are the same, Skeptical. I avoid others arguements and try not to have them myself. Im fairy good at talking someone down who wants to argue with me too.

...except for ARGO of courses.! laugh

Argo's photo
Mon 02/05/18 06:15 PM



Im fairy good at talking someone down who wants to argue with me too.
...except for ARGO of courses.! laugh

HEY SISTER YOU WANNA MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF IT *2-HAND SHOVE*
JUST STEP ACROSS THIS LINE, I DARE YA...laugh laugh

Poetrywriter's photo
Mon 02/05/18 06:15 PM
I argue with myself in public and I will catch someone looking at me with the look of WTF? I will say to them "What are you looking at cause WE don't like it." laugh

no photo
Mon 02/05/18 06:23 PM


I don't know that anyone has made me lose my temper yet, but I'm not shy about letting someone know they've hurt my feelings. I can be a bit sensitive at times. Like you said...we learn by the embarrassing moments, so it's probably good to have a few behind us.


It takes a lot of pushing and pushing my buttons to get me to loose my temper. Normally I cry when someone yells at me. Not quite as much as I used to, toughened up a tiny bit. But I'm pretty sensitive and having had a childhood and family history of quite a bit of violence, I mostly back down from any kind of aggression.

I like what Tom said...
I think it depends a lot on the subject priority and the personality of the participants.


Sometimes it's hard for me to discern simple arguments from what will turn into a major war, there are times when it all feels the same, so walking away so I can regroup and come back to the here and now, is mostly what I practice.

msharmony's photo
Mon 02/05/18 06:42 PM

No matter how perfect a relationship, there will be disagreements. When they come up in a public situation, how do you deal with it?

Personally, I feel like arguing with your partner in a public place is extremely disrespectful, not only to them, but the people who have to witness it. I'm one for waiting until I get home to voice a complaint or discuss an issue.

But as often as I see it, it seems like many couples simply don't care who sees/hears their spats.

Do you think views on whether or not it's acceptable to argue in public is something that differs regionally? What about culturally?


not everything should be public. Private and passionate moments, be they the loving kind or angry kind, should remain behind closed doors, imho.

SparklingCrystal ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’Ž's photo
Tue 02/06/18 01:36 AM
Chit can happen, and it depends on context whether or not it will be in public.
But if the dynamic of the relationship would push my buttons to the extent of having public arguments, I don't think I'd want to be in that relationship. It means something between two people isn't working out too well.

Apart from that, I don't like the totally upset drama scenes, but I read the other day that more often than not couples that fight that way stand a better chance of a long lasting relationship than couples that calmly talk about things.
Reason being that couples that argue fiercely are their authentic selves which ultimately is always best in a relationship.
Nevertheless, if me and a partner would regularly clash to the extent of screaming and shouting I feel it's an indication I'm with the wrong partner.

Beachfarmer's photo
Tue 02/06/18 07:05 AM
I suppose it's the same as PDA, cursing, etc.
Admitted shickenchit answer, but it really does depend on volume.
I'm all for taste and decorum in public.
explode AND THE FORUMS!

no photo
Tue 02/06/18 07:30 AM
Edited by Ness_a on Tue 02/06/18 07:30 AM


No matter how perfect a relationship, there will be disagreements. When they come up in a public situation, how do you deal with it?

Personally, I feel like arguing with your partner in a public place is extremely disrespectful, not only to them, but the people who have to witness it. I'm one for waiting until I get home to voice a complaint or discuss an issue.

But as often as I see it, it seems like many couples simply don't care who sees/hears their spats.

Do you think views on whether or not it's acceptable to argue in public is something that differs regionally? What about culturally?


not everything should be public. Private and passionate moments, be they the loving kind or angry kind, should remain behind closed doors, imho.


Exactly! Iโ€™ll happily accept a spontaneous peck any place or time, but Iโ€™m not putting on a show where THAT is concerned either. Lol!

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Tue 02/06/18 07:31 AM
I donโ€™t know about arguing in public but itโ€™s embarrassing when you get caught making love in public places.

Or so a friend told me.

no photo
Tue 02/06/18 07:36 AM




Im fairy good at talking someone down who wants to argue with me too.
...except for ARGO of courses.! laugh

HEY SISTER YOU WANNA MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF IT *2-HAND SHOVE*
JUST STEP ACROSS THIS LINE, I DARE YA...laugh laugh


You wanna piece of me? YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME? (In my best, however horrifying, Italian mob accent. ) laugh