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| Topic: Depth of Show | |
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Inside a Depth of Show
An empty world of empty halls Empty mirrors and empty walls A low dark blackness invades Seeking for that inner glow The empty dreams and empty throws Empty goals as empty knows Seeking room for which to grow Is there still a dream to dare When empty life is oh so bare And dreams of love are twisted fast Into a dream that cannot last Inside a depth of show Inside a depth of show The love of life we all must know Is but a dream, a cross to bare To show all others we seem to care Is but inside a depth of show Inside this empty depth of me All the things I want to be Inside this empty depth of show All the things that you should know The gentle squeeze of a warm embrace A soothing touch upon my face Tender feelings I wish to know I hide from my depth of show All of that which I once was Now drifts out as empty flow Inside this empty depth of show Inside this empty depth of show LOL, wow, I can't write poetry worth a damn. But hey, I tried to express some of what I feel inside. I guess I get hungup on the rhyming? Probably could make a lot more sense if I just wrote it... |
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No, it was lovely. And has a very pleasing cadence too.
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I can relate. Not to shabby Tom.
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Inside a Depth of Show An empty world of empty halls Empty mirrors and empty walls A low dark blackness invades Seeking for that inner glow The empty dreams and empty throws Empty goals as empty knows Seeking room for which to grow Is there still a dream to dare When empty life is oh so bare And dreams of love are twisted fast Into a dream that cannot last Inside a depth of show Inside a depth of show The love of life we all must know Is but a dream, a cross to bare To show all others we seem to care Is but inside a depth of show Inside this empty depth of me All the things I want to be Inside this empty depth of show All the things that you should know The gentle squeeze of a warm embrace A soothing touch upon my face Tender feelings I wish to know I hide from my depth of show All of that which I once was Now drifts out as empty flow Inside this empty depth of show Inside this empty depth of show LOL, wow, I can't write poetry worth a damn. But hey, I tried to express some of what I feel inside. I guess I get hungup on the rhyming? Probably could make a lot more sense if I just wrote it... It's actually very good. You have a gift. |
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Tommy my lad...your a poet and you didn't even know it! Very good!
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Nice Tom, your poem is really nice.
When I write poetry, it comes out in rhymes too. I wonder if that's just a natural style that comes out in the writer. It definitely works for this poem, it flows nicely and from my interpretation, it portrays who we are vs what we let others see very well. Also throughout the years how that changes and becomes lessened. I'm not sure if that was your intent, that's just what I received from it. Touching and moving, thanks Tom  |
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LOL, you people are too kind
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Actually it is pretty good Tom, good read...
 When the words come from the heart the message always comes through.. This is the only place I have ever posted my poetry back when the site first started... No judging here makes it easier to post them on this site.... All due to a few in the Poetry section that actually encouraged me to continue.. I very seldom write anymore.....if you have not used it this site is what helped me to find the words that rhyme to help me out for all the ones I wrote rhyme as well... https://www.rhymezone.com/ At this time I have been going back and copying all of mine and printing them off from this site.. So while you are writing make sure you print them off or put on a CD while you are writing.. It is good for the soul to express how you feel in words.... |
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Thanx for the resource and the encouragement.
Not sure about keeping my creations? When I wrote this I was just winging it. Plus, I had what I wanted to say in my head but by the time I put fingers to keyboard I lost the original thought. Then I had to try to get some of it written before it was gone forever. Lots of backspacing to get it even close. Hung up on the word choices an all that. The last time I tried writing poetry was high school when it was required for class. During my marriage, I had a lot of poetry in me to share with my x but it was always spoken, Direct heart to mouth output. I don't have dragon software on my PC, the only device with speech to text is my phone and I can't really see it too well to use it for anything but phone calls. Again, thanx!
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Copy it to your profile Tom so you don't lose it.that's what I do ..nice write |
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I'm really not concerned with losing it, I live it.
Thanx for the suggestion tho. |
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I'm really not concerned with losing it, I live it. Thanx for the suggestion tho. I use to think the same way about mine but have been now copying them all and well so far have printed over 35 of them up to put in a folder.. Don't plan on doing anything with them...but one day my kids will find the folder and hopefully keep them as a keepsake~~ |
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I have a legacy database of me for my children.
I copy my comments from the various forums where I participate (including here) that shows how I think and what is important to me. The way I see poems is they are a slice of emotional states in someone's life written during the time they are having that emotional state. To me, my posts, comments/replies already do that more effectively. This poem was written to see if I can express my self effectively in that manner, also to share a lil of me with all of you. I find it is much more complex to write a poem than to just write normally. Word choice has a different significance. Plus, it requires imagination and empathy on the part of the reader, something that can be taken wrong due to lack of clarity. |
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Wed 02/21/18 01:07 PM
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I found the poem good, however, sad and empty stort of.
I Know a poet and writer In CA. |
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Edited by
MelissaSue6777
on
Wed 02/21/18 08:39 PM
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I recognize a lyricist in you.
Your style is: lyricist. Do you play any instrument to accompany your words? Something to consider with your gift... Submit your lyrics to some already known singers/ artists through an agent. Or even better...if you know someone who needs lyrics and even just plays guitar. |
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I recognize a lyricist in you. Your style is: lyricist. Do you play any instrument to accompany your words? Something to consider with your gift... Submit your lyrics to some already known singers/ artists through an agent. Or even better...if you know someone who needs lyrics and even just plays guitar. I consider this a compliment, thanx. I listen to a lot of different styles of music. I played guitar when I was in my 20s but never really developed any discipline and not that good at it but I can certainly keep a beat and stay in tune with my voice. |
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