I’m beginning to think my late husband set my bar a little too high for potential suitors in the future.

Do you have a past relationship(s) that has/have made your expectations a little too lofty?

I am sorry about your late husband, maybe I may be a bit off topic but my past relationships have being like a roller coaster. This days I am dating a soul that I believe will set the bar above the past relationships. Let's hope that I do not have to come back and repost here about another relationship setting the bar higher.

I wouldn’t be hoping NOT to set the bar too high. Having the best, even if only for a time, is a blessing.

If you think this one will raise your bar, she is worth going for.

I have high expectations, when it comes to being in a relationship.

Yes, I have been spoiled. First, I spoiled myself, then met a man who continued to spoil me, when . we got married.

However, my Ex spoiled All his women!

I find dates now, who would Not be right for a relationship.

I would not consider myself spoiled at all by the sound of your ex. I prefer being spoiled with loyalty and dedication. Haha!

My fist husband was a real worker..I mean he LOVED
to work, morning, day and night.

He would say, 'What do you need tomorrow?'
I would make a long list.
When I got up the next day it would all be accomplished.
He did housework for something to do.
Ran all the errands to keep busy.
Mowed the grass high so he could do it twice.

27 years of that is hard to overcome.
Quite the blow to realize he could well have been the only man
on earth who liked doing those things.

I am coping :-)

I do believe she may raise the bar. Like you said and I agree, I am just feeling the relationship as she is, that we have in common. She is worth to go for.

It was usually me doing the spoiling. Had I been spoiled, I wouldn't be single right now.

double posted

He sounds much like my husband was. He always anticipated my needs and wanted to help with things around the house despite long hours at work. I used to rush to do laundry on my days off so he wouldn’t jump on it when he got home. I had to make him sit down and relax in the evenings. Haha! They are a rare breed.

Spoiling shouldn’t be one sided. Usually the one being spoiled wants to reciprocate back to their partner. I hope next time your efforts are more deserved and reciprocated.

When we got married I made him give up one of his 2 full-time jobs.
He was a sheriff with LA County, he drove from there, after 8 hours,
to his other job as an installer for Western Electric..some people
seem to have so much more energy than the rest of us.

It is good to appreciate them.
I believe, like you,they are far and few between :-)

I must add, however, in the real world, bars are lowered every day
to accommodate the next performer.

I think they need to disappear altogether, every soul is different
and should be accorded that respect in a relationship.

I would have done the same. Two jobs is crazy and stressful. I used to call my husband “the doer”. That energy level is insane! Haha!

A good incentive never hurts. Haha!

Thanks, I agree. Sounds like you had that with your late husband, that's really nice

During part of my childhood I was raised by one of my Aunts. It was a brief exposure of normalcy for me. She and my Uncle had a good marriage, both treated each other with respect, love, and were very nurturing to each other. They showed each other that they mattered and that their needs and desires were important. There was no belittling each other or hierarchy as far as who was more important in the relationship.

That's what I would like in a relationship. I don't need someone to spoil me in such a way that I don't have to do anything around the house, just being spoiled with love and affection would suit me fine.

Although if he wants to, I definitely won't complain

Your Aunt and Uncle sound sweet.

I didn’t want him doing all the work either. I think that was his busy body way of showing his effection sometimes. I usually tried to keep in front of him so he would have a little free time at night. That was my way of showing affection I suppose. Haha!

That's really sweet. I think it's good when both work towards getting stuff done around the house, that way you have more time to relax together in the evenings.

Also, when you’re competing for house chores like that, the house is always spotless. Haha!

I was definitely spoiled with thoughtfulness.

Sounds like it. You're lucky to have such cherished memories.

I have one that set my emotional expectations high, because we 'grew up' together, which is not likely to be duplicated.

I also have one that set my physical expectations pretty high, because he excelled at physical intimacy in ways that were new to me, and 'new' is not as common probably as a persons regular.