Topic: dating goals
notbeold's photo
Tue 12/25/18 03:24 AM
I expect to have a new experience with a new (to me) human, and then mutually assess if we take it further, or if we part ways. happy or ill

Toodygirl5's photo
Tue 12/25/18 02:48 PM
I want to date to find out if the Man is compatible for a exclusive relationship.

I may have already found him, not Sure yet.

Riverspirit1111's photo
Tue 12/25/18 02:54 PM

I want to date to find out if the Man is compatible for a exclusive relationship.

I may have already found him, not Sure yet.


That's awesome Toody, I hope it works out for you happy

Toodygirl5's photo
Tue 12/25/18 03:11 PM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Tue 12/25/18 03:27 PM


I want to date to find out if the Man is compatible for a exclusive relationship.

I may have already found him, not Sure yet.


That's awesome Toody, I hope it works out for you happy


Thanks River ! I have Men I already met in person here in my city. I do volunteer work also have activity partner.

Sex is not. a part of my Dating, Like some others. Breakups are less painful if that happens.

I don't. Just date Online. But I have had Dates on other sites while back.


Riverspirit1111's photo
Tue 12/25/18 03:16 PM


Thanks River ! I have Men I already met in person here in my city. I do volunteer work also have activity partner.

Sex is not. a part of my Dating, Like some others. Breakups are less painful if that happens.

I don't. Just date Online. But I have had Dates on other sites while back.



That's great Toody, I'm happy for you. Merry Christmas flowerforyou

Toodygirl5's photo
Tue 12/25/18 03:18 PM
Thanks River ! Merry Christmas !flowerforyou

oldkid46's photo
Tue 12/25/18 04:06 PM


Problem is too many expect something from a date..It's just a meet to get to know someone... if things click then you decide to meet again.. Who knows what will happen quit expecting too much and try to enjoy each others company~~whoa

The "date" is very misrepresented by expectations.
Lets face it, most people are using dating sites to find that 'one special someone' that fills all their needs while giving us something we previously didn't posses.
What is wrong with that?

In that 'quest' for "the one" we consider many people that 'seem' to fall within our desires for a mate.
When you go on a 'date' you are acting.
You are portraying what you think is expected just so you can spend time with the 'one'.
The main function remains the same. To figure out if 'that person' really is 'the one'.

If you are on your best behavior and they are on their best behavior during the date, neither of you are getting accurate natural information to determine if that person is 'the one'.

However, when you maintain your personal standard of life and act naturally, you gain insight about the other person that has value to the goal of finding 'the one'.

To spend time and resources to "date" according to formal establishments you are limited in valuable information that allows you to make the determination of whether that person is 'the one'.

Everything else is an effort to gain something else. Sex, a meal, an experience a good time.
It all changes the absolute reason why you are with that person in the first place.
A delusion.

Dating in a natural sense, is getting to know that person as they 'really are' to figure out if they are "the one".

The meet is nothing more than a meet.
You meet people all the time.
Dating allows you to get to know that person and how they interact with life.
If you are acting as you imagine you should because you are on a date, that person can't determine what they need to know to determine if you really are 'the one'.
You end up in a series of formal 'dates' that result in no connection.

I won't 'date' anyone.
I will experience life with someone and pay attention to how they react to life.
I am not focused on 'the date' as much as finding my someone special.
Not everyone is focused on this very thing.
Some want to 'date'.
Some just want sex.
Some just want validated.
People date for many different reasons.
But...If you think about the process that leads to a 'date', you are actually looking for that "ONE" 'special someone' that ends your search.
It really doesn't matter why you are dating, if you find 'that' someone special, the 'date' is merely a tool.

Think about it this way;
You meet someone that is a complete match to who you are looking for.
Once you find that person, will you be still looking for more dates?
OR...will you stop looking, stop dating in favor of 'the one'?

To figure out if that person is the one, the formal date is a poor choice and THAT results in unhappy unions.
Natural, unscripted encounters with someone gives you the vital information you need to determine if that person is "the one".
So...

No, I don't "date".
Natural, unscripted encounters with that potential match allows you to ...
Choose Wisely.
You have presented both sides of the question - the looking for "the one" and the other reasons for dating. Some of us have been through enough life and relationship failures we are no longer disillusioned with the idea of "the one". We are looking for a much simpler version of dating in just enjoying the company of someone in a social environment. I am much too old to waste my time hoping to find some special woman that I might consider a mate only to have it fall apart next month or next year and then start over again!!!

no photo
Tue 12/25/18 04:48 PM
Tom wants to have one meet with a woman, then live together the next day.

Toodygirl5's photo
Tue 12/25/18 04:53 PM
I definitely don't do Livin. Big No No!

My choice .

Smartazzjohn's photo
Tue 12/25/18 05:20 PM

I want to date to find out if the Man is compatible for a exclusive relationship.

I may have already found him, not Sure yet.


hmmm I don't remember meeting you. laugh

mzrosie's photo
Tue 12/25/18 05:48 PM


I want to date to find out if the Man is compatible for a exclusive relationship.

I may have already found him, not Sure yet.


hmmm I don't remember meeting you. laugh


john, this could be your lucky day then!
Merry Christmas
happy waving

Toodygirl5's photo
Tue 12/25/18 06:07 PM


I want to date to find out if the Man is compatible for a exclusive relationship.

I may have already found him, not Sure yet.


hmmm I don't remember meeting you. laugh




laugh No but I read Your Profile.

Toodygirl5's photo
Tue 12/25/18 06:08 PM



I want to date to find out if the Man is compatible for a exclusive relationship.

I may have already found him, not Sure yet.


hmmm I don't remember meeting you. laugh


john, this could be your lucky day then!
Merry Christmas
happy waving



Nobody on Mingle2 ! laugh waving

Smartazzjohn's photo
Tue 12/25/18 07:48 PM



I want to date to find out if the Man is compatible for a exclusive relationship.

I may have already found him, not Sure yet.


hmmm I don't remember meeting you. laugh


john, this could be your lucky day then!
Merry Christmas
happy waving


waving Rosie Merry Christmas to you.
Waking up in the morning makes me feel lucky.tongue2

Smartazzjohn's photo
Tue 12/25/18 07:51 PM



I want to date to find out if the Man is compatible for a exclusive relationship.

I may have already found him, not Sure yet.


hmmm I don't remember meeting you. laugh




laugh No but I read Your Profile.


I saw that.....were you bored?laugh
It's mostly naked or semi naked women in their 20's who look at my profile. Maybe they are looking for a sugar daddy or their long lost grandpa.slaphead

Wylie's photo
Sun 01/06/19 09:19 PM

As an older person, what is your purpose in dating? What do you expect to gain from going on a date?

Great question and one that I have yet to read through in this thread.

My purpose in dating is eventual comradery at its finest, complimenting each other, just the term gain seems canted to me in the prospect of a relationship other than mutual gains.

no photo
Mon 01/07/19 06:06 PM
I stopped expecting anything. That way, I'm never disappointed.

Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 01/07/19 06:22 PM



Problem is too many expect something from a date..It's just a meet to get to know someone... if things click then you decide to meet again.. Who knows what will happen quit expecting too much and try to enjoy each others company~~whoa

The "date" is very misrepresented by expectations.
Lets face it, most people are using dating sites to find that 'one special someone' that fills all their needs while giving us something we previously didn't posses.
What is wrong with that?

In that 'quest' for "the one" we consider many people that 'seem' to fall within our desires for a mate.
When you go on a 'date' you are acting.
You are portraying what you think is expected just so you can spend time with the 'one'.
The main function remains the same. To figure out if 'that person' really is 'the one'.

If you are on your best behavior and they are on their best behavior during the date, neither of you are getting accurate natural information to determine if that person is 'the one'.

However, when you maintain your personal standard of life and act naturally, you gain insight about the other person that has value to the goal of finding 'the one'.

To spend time and resources to "date" according to formal establishments you are limited in valuable information that allows you to make the determination of whether that person is 'the one'.

Everything else is an effort to gain something else. Sex, a meal, an experience a good time.
It all changes the absolute reason why you are with that person in the first place.
A delusion.

Dating in a natural sense, is getting to know that person as they 'really are' to figure out if they are "the one".

The meet is nothing more than a meet.
You meet people all the time.
Dating allows you to get to know that person and how they interact with life.
If you are acting as you imagine you should because you are on a date, that person can't determine what they need to know to determine if you really are 'the one'.
You end up in a series of formal 'dates' that result in no connection.

I won't 'date' anyone.
I will experience life with someone and pay attention to how they react to life.
I am not focused on 'the date' as much as finding my someone special.
Not everyone is focused on this very thing.
Some want to 'date'.
Some just want sex.
Some just want validated.
People date for many different reasons.
But...If you think about the process that leads to a 'date', you are actually looking for that "ONE" 'special someone' that ends your search.
It really doesn't matter why you are dating, if you find 'that' someone special, the 'date' is merely a tool.

Think about it this way;
You meet someone that is a complete match to who you are looking for.
Once you find that person, will you be still looking for more dates?
OR...will you stop looking, stop dating in favor of 'the one'?

To figure out if that person is the one, the formal date is a poor choice and THAT results in unhappy unions.
Natural, unscripted encounters with someone gives you the vital information you need to determine if that person is "the one".
So...

No, I don't "date".
Natural, unscripted encounters with that potential match allows you to ...
Choose Wisely.
You have presented both sides of the question - the looking for "the one" and the other reasons for dating. Some of us have been through enough life and relationship failures we are no longer disillusioned with the idea of "the one". We are looking for a much simpler version of dating in just enjoying the company of someone in a social environment. I am much too old to waste my time hoping to find some special woman that I might consider a mate only to have it fall apart next month or next year and then start over again!!!

I completely understand where you are coming from.
Personally, I don't see my past relationships as failure.
I gain wisdom and treat them as learning experiences.
I have a whole encyclopedia of wisdom about not the right one but I really only want ONE right one.
So, If I treat each and every potential as the possible the right one, my positive attitude can't be the problem.
If I treat every potential as 'just another date' my negative attitude affects how I interact with them and it derails me.

My 'dates' are special to me because by the time I agree to interact with them personally, in real-life, there is something she possess that I find appealing.

If I 'just date' to 'date', That person she is becomes nothing more than a number of conquests I can track in my 'black book'.

Tom wants to have one meet with a woman, then live together the next day.

Actually, that has happened a few times since my marriage ended.
Each woman had qualities I admired at the start but after spending 'normal' life with them, I found out they were lying about who they were.
No better test of honesty than time on target.

Wylie's photo
Mon 01/07/19 06:27 PM
Edited by Wylie on Mon 01/07/19 06:29 PM

Actually, that has happened a few times since my marriage ended.
Each woman had qualities I admired at the start but after spending 'normal' life with them, I found out they were lying about who they were.
No better test of honesty than time on target.



Seen that movie and sequels just gets old!

Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 01/07/19 06:44 PM


Actually, that has happened a few times since my marriage ended.
Each woman had qualities I admired at the start but after spending 'normal' life with them, I found out they were lying about who they were.
No better test of honesty than time on target.



Seen that movie and sequels just gets old!

Yeah they do!

For the longest time I thought women couldn't exist without lying but I actually found one that doesn't exist that way.
Oh, there was a rocky start, caught her in a lie but we talked about it and I found out it was fear that caused her to lie.
Granted, I catch another, she's a history lesson but so far so good.

Its not fair to US for me to expect her to lie to me.
The thing about a liar - THEY ALWAYS TELL ON THEMSELVES, ALWAYS.