I thought I would start this topic because I feel there are a lot of us out there that could do with a nudge on how to text to woman AND men correctly. First off i'm not perfect by far trust me and my biggest fault would have to be that i'm not the worlds greatest speller wrrite (see).....lol.

So to set the ball rolling I believe the three golden rules are:
1 Be yourself.
2 Be honest.
3 Be truthful.

This is just something to chat about in no way would I criticize anyone but am always open for suggestions. So please feel free to comment thank you.

Pffft...been doing that...I see no reason to lie on a profile, or to be fake/ put in a false front in messages...
Has gotten me zero results.

Nope, thanks..don't nee advice..you asked for comments..so, I commented.

Hi! Welcome, and thanks for posting so quickly. Clearly you are a brave person! Always great to get new folks talking.

Honesty is surely a grand idea...so is being yourself.

There are, however, people with agendas, and will say what they think you want to hear until they get what they want.

Not only that, some people actually dont value honesty....crazy right....its true.

anyhoo...

If you can be aware of that, then your radar should work pretty well for you.

Hi Peter
It would have been nice to introduce yourself in the New Members Area first
to test the water instead of jumping in right away.



Welcome to Mingle2 and the forums.

4. Find a commonality and talk about it.
5. Try not to assume anything.
6. Its equally important to read what is written and not imbellish.
7. Try to remember it is another person you are talking with, not your property or someone below you.
8. Use the system available until you BOTH feel its time to get more personal.
9. Remember this is a tool, not a final approach.
10. No matter how well you align online, what is important is how well you align face to face in the real world.

I couln't agree more.
Be aware that the other person may not be honest.
Just don't embellish any negatives.

And welcome Peter

Thank you for your reply it's hard to see where you are going but I sense you are a little negative with whats going on and your results. I'm no doctor but smile don't dwell on the negative side of your results and remember it's a numbers game. Keep analyzing everything you are doing.

Integrety!

I have two suggestions: 1 you can go with a common interest, a hobby, pets, etc. 2 tell someone what you found interesting about their profile. The key to me is to start a conversation, which is an art, so neither myself or anyone else can tell you HOW to do it exactly.

I've gotten a lot of emails like great profile, or you're funny, or...whatever. How do you respond to that? Well for me, usually I don't. I've had a profile on another site where I wrote several profiles (I only posted ONE at a time) but switched them out. My most popular had the headline "Insanity in a Spray Bottle", another was "Girlfriend Stunt Double". Obviously, they were humorous, but the one that was "Top 20 Reasons I'm Not the Woman for You" actually was TRUE, that is, it was making fun of my quirks.

Profiles, IMO, serve as a sort of icebreaker so the more you invest to try to make your profile stand out, the more your chances of getting contacted. You may see me in profile review, I love to help, but honestly it does get tiring after awhile.

Okay now that I've strayed off topic a bit, I think to entice someone's initial interest, if you can start some conversation that's usually a winner.

Oh sorry, forgot to add the most important thing - DO READ THE OTHER PERSON'S PROFILE. I can almost guarantee it will kill any potential interest if you ask someone a question that's already on their profile. I know this seems so obvious, but honestly it is NOT!!

I'd say, don't be pushy. Ask a question or two. Leave a fact about your life and no more.

1 Be yourself.
2 Be honest.
3 Be truthful.


You forgot 4- Be ready to fail miserably by being the first three of your golden rules.

After 7 years of being that, I can say it doesn't work. But to be honest about it, I gave up after the first two years. The next five was spent in finding alternatives to dating.

"There's a woman for every man".

Right. And there's lakefront property in the Mojave Desert. (Very popular for people who never learned to swim)

"You're not trying hard enough"

Uh huh. At some point in time, the frustration will get the best of you. There are two alternatives. Accept it, or go jump off a cliff. (I'm not fond of high places, so accepting it made sense)

So go ahead, be optimistic. I prefer to accept what is, and deal with it.

2 and 3 are redundant, just saying. The Golden Rule, actually is to treat others the way you want to be treated which covers all 3.

IMO, I think number 1 is the most difficult for the majority. It is a fact, that most people either don't know themselves, accept themselves or even like, forget love themselves. And you can't give someone else what you don't have, so if you haven't learned to love yourself you don't have that to give to someone else. This is basic, if you're in doubt, visit a bookstore and go to self help and scan the titles. In my experience, it is rare that I encounter those who are self aware, and when I do I invest myself in their friendship, the rewards are invaluable.

Ummm, I think the "Golden Rule" is different as to the mindset.

For me, the "Golden Rule" is to learn common things so one can participate in society.

Doing unto others as you have have done unto you is not a rule but a common expectation. Expectations have a way of being unfulfilled if there is no common sense of life essence. Expectations can often be misleading.
What if I want you to kill me? I kill you expecting to be killed myself.
Its your 'golden rule'.

However, If I learn how to understand the different ways people think and react, I also learn how to think and react myself.
So, in a society of humans which are naturally social, the golden rule is to learn commonality.

Dear catinidaho a simple and nice reply this is what I would generally write to start the ball rolling. "Hi xxxx I have just read your profile and would like to message you if that's alright. I'm an honest and trustworthy kind of person and believe that I'm one of a kind man. I would be only to pleased to chat further with you if you so wish. Kind Regards Peter." What is your views on that? I have not been here for a while and would like to say thanks to all those that have added a reply.

That would be a good thing to write to someone. Make sure you read their whole profile first.

I have something else to add. When you write to a man or woman, don't leave a message that sounds scripted that you send to everyone. That happens.

4. BE Respectful of each other
5. Very open communication to everything when time appropriated
But communication is important.
6. Counter check what UR partner is saying at times so NO MISS communications

A long with all U listed.

Makes little difference in what you write in a message. People decide to reply based on your picture and profile. They make assumptions about both and find something they view as negative about you and refuse to answer your message. They are looking for what they see as the perfect person which isn't realistically available.

I go by what they write to me and what is on their profile. If a guy says on his profile that he is looking for marriage, I have to say pretty quickly, in a kind way that I'm not wanting marriage. They sometimes ignore that and ask too many questions.