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Topic: those seeking relationships
Toodygirl5's photo
Wed 02/24/21 06:49 PM


How many other dating sites you tried?

Only one ?

Two or more ?

Was it a good experience?

Toodygirl5's photo
Wed 02/24/21 06:52 PM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Wed 02/24/21 06:53 PM
My self, I tried two ! One no luck.

One had a few good dates.

Rock's photo
Wed 02/24/21 06:58 PM
I'm active on one dating site.
This one.


no photo
Wed 02/24/21 07:12 PM
I've checked out several dating sites in the past. You have to answer too many weird questions in order to have a profile. That's not for me.

I_love_bluegrass's photo
Thu 02/25/21 05:43 AM
Edited by I_love_bluegrass on Thu 02/25/21 05:44 AM
Tried eHarmony inititally..waste of time and money..
You can't search on your own, you have to wait for them to send you matches...none of which weren't even CLOSE to what I was wanting/ looking for...even after answering their many many questions..
They were all serious church going guys, big into sports...none of them had anything in common with me that *I* could see.
Me?
Agnostic, and hate sportsball....Plus, they all looked like my dad did in his late 50's early 60's....
(I assure you I do NOT look like my 60 year old mom did..so...)
Match, OurTime (Ye Old Fa*ts site), Farmers Only, etc....all they pay sites?
I was completely ignored....so, I figured why pay to be ignored..

And (this is key)...I found the exact same guys of the free sites as i did on the pat sites, so, why pay for the privilege of being ignored.
So, now I only do the free sites....still no luck..most can't engage in any useful "getting to know you" conversation....or they just disappear after chatting which seemingly was going well (at least they said nothing to the contrary)....whoa

Love's photo
Thu 02/25/21 05:52 AM
Only this

no photo
Thu 02/25/21 06:20 AM
One. Yes good experience. Got to meet in person.

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo
Thu 02/25/21 06:29 AM
As in, ever?
Good lord... A lot!
Finding a dating site that suits you is trial and error.
I've been member of a dating site for taller people, higher educated people, 2 regular ones that are paid-for, 2 free ones that were utter crap (you don't know until you try), and so on.

Now I'm back to the one paid-for regular, already regret it haha. I will be glad when membership expires again.

And the one I've been member of for some 6 years I think. An unusual one where you cannot see profiles, you don't have a profile. You can make quizzes or answer men's quizzes, they resp. I or they can add the person to chat.
You can do a few other things too.
Once you get chatting you cannot see the picture yet. After such and so many messages back and forth the photo becomes clear. The idea is to not judge based on looks but get to know each other via chat.

THAT is a really nice dating site, which is why I'm still member. I did buy some tokens to do certain things, but mostly it's free.

Success... Yes, I met my last partner via a dating site.
The long term partner before that too.
Have had quite a few dates via dating sites as well, even 1 via Mingle, go figure, haha.

cleve's photo
Thu 02/25/21 06:34 AM
Edited by cleve on Thu 02/25/21 06:38 AM


just read

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo
Thu 02/25/21 06:34 AM
Edited by SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž on Thu 02/25/21 06:35 AM

Tried eHarmony inititally..waste of time and money..
You can't search on your own, you have to wait for them to send you matches...none of which weren't even CLOSE to what I was wanting/ looking for...even after answering their many many questions..
They were all serious church going guys, big into sports...none of them had anything in common with me that *I* could see.
Me?
Agnostic, and hate sportsball....Plus, they all looked like my dad did in his late 50's early 60's....
(I assure you I do NOT look like my 60 year old mom did..so...)
Match, OurTime (Ye Old Fa*ts site), Farmers Only, etc....all they pay sites?
I was completely ignored....so, I figured why pay to be ignored..

And (this is key)...I found the exact same guys of the free sites as i did on the pat sites, so, why pay for the privilege of being ignored.
So, now I only do the free sites....still no luck..most can't engage in any useful "getting to know you" conversation....or they just disappear after chatting which seemingly was going well (at least they said nothing to the contrary)....whoa


Oh seeing the same guys... The paid-for site I became member of again last month... browsing through profiles, I came across at least 5 guys I had seen way back when on the same site -and other free sites- STILL using the same photo?
Mind you, there's a time gap of some 6-7 yrs between then and now!
The first thing that comes to mind when I see them: LOOOOSER!!! Still here!
Lol.
They may think the same about me, but I was gone from these sites for a long time, and had a relationship since as well. And at least I have new photos of myself :)

I_love_bluegrass's photo
Thu 02/25/21 06:44 AM


Once you get chatting you cannot see the picture yet. After such and so many messages back and forth the photo becomes clear. The idea is to not judge based on looks but get to know each other via chat.

THAT is a really nice dating site, which is why I'm still member. I did buy some tokens to do certain things, but mostly it's free.



Yes, people place FAR too much emphasis on looks, at the expense of ~everything else..
Most guys..if her picture makes his boner tingle..that's as far as his thought process goes...sadly...THAT is not enough for a long-term relationship..especially when you are older.

People have said "well, would YOU want to talk to someone of you didn't know what they looked like?"
You betcha...IF we had a ton in common, were on the same page with regards to key core issues/ values...and they could hold their end of the conversation, actually participating in it.....
If he ended up looking like a toad...so what?
We have already made a mental connection, which is more important to to me than merely looks..

I have seen plenty of guys who were "hot" (by societies standards) who were not what I was looking for at all with regards to the above mentioned commonalities and key core issues and values....so what if he looks good?
Why would I possibly want to spend time with him?
Looks are transitory...and, as you get older, on serious illness or accident can eliminate this, so...if that is all that is holding/ interesting to your partner (your looks), no thanks....I'll pass...

Trixie's photo
Thu 02/25/21 06:45 AM
When I first went on a dating site I used one that was supposed to be for people who were widowed, and to be honest it was a waste of time as what they don’t tell you is your profile is accessed by sister companies. Not that it was a problem, but it was just some of the messages that came through were men obviously not reading my profile and realising I was a widow. Anyway it was rubbish so I didn’t renew my subscription with them.

I’ve used a couple of others, but to be honest they are all pretty much the same and you see the same profiles on the different sites. I don’t know if this is the same anywhere else in the world.

If only it was easy to meet someone the old fashioned way, at least you already knew if there was a mutual attraction!

Toodygirl5's photo
Thu 02/25/21 07:05 AM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Thu 02/25/21 07:09 AM
I only met men who were seeking Long term relationships.
Even if it didn't end with me, I knew they didn't want just
a hookup. Two of the men got married, a year or more after
We actually met.

They were older guys and traveled to meet any woman of
Interest to them.

I think one key to meeting a serious man is be sure you
Ask All the questions important to You before any meetups.

I had men turn down meets, after I told them what I expected
when they met me. That's ok .


Because I have expectations. My time is important.

Abid's photo
Thu 02/25/21 07:07 AM
lots of sites but never find real person

Tom4Uhere's photo
Thu 02/25/21 07:36 AM
At one time, I was a member at 7 different sites.
I found someone here.
I am no longer looking so I only come here for the forums.
I no longer use the other sites, never check on them either.
If my gf or I decide to end our relationship I will likely go back to looking so I will reestablish my profiles at the other sites.

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo
Thu 02/25/21 09:06 AM

.....
I have seen plenty of guys who were "hot" (by societies standards) who were not what I was looking for at all with regards to the above mentioned commonalities and key core issues and values....so what if he looks good?
Why would I possibly want to spend time with him?
Looks are transitory...and, as you get older, on serious illness or accident can eliminate this, so...if that is all that is holding/ interesting to your partner (your looks), no thanks....I'll pass...

For me there has to be a balance. If a man looks like a toad, no matter how we click, I cannot be with him. I don't want to have the Bejesus scared out of me when I open my eyes in the morning.
I need attraction, everyone does, and looks are part of that.

Now I do NOT need a man who's considered handsome by society. By I have to I have to find him handsome and attractive.
For that reason it's too much for me when a guy is seriously overweight, has a bag under his chin, or 6 underchins, or is much smaller etc.

That isn't even a mental decision, chemistry doesn't kick in without attraction and attraction is never 100% mental. If you're okay with a relationship without chemistry, just a mental click, then maybe it's different.
But I want the whole enchilada: love, attraction, passion, sex, chemistry, my juices flowing when I see or hear him etc. etc.
flowerforyou

Toodygirl5's photo
Thu 02/25/21 09:21 AM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Thu 02/25/21 09:22 AM
I want the whole enchilada too! :smile:

Looks are some what important! I like a man with meat on his bones.
Not oversized.

No huge rough whiskers.



SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo
Thu 02/25/21 09:33 AM

I want the whole enchilada too! :smile:

Looks are some what important! I like a man with meat on his bones.
Not oversized.

No huge rough whiskers.




Yes, some meat for sure, just the normal amount. My last partner was slender, and rather skinny. When we cuddled I had to really find a way to get a comfy place for my face/head to rest.
Not a deal-breaker, but someone with a bit more meat IS nicer.

Toodygirl5's photo
Thu 02/25/21 10:58 AM


I want the whole enchilada too! :smile:

Looks are some what important! I like a man with meat on his bones.
Not oversized.

No huge rough whiskers.




Yes, some meat for sure, just the normal amount. My last partner was slender, and rather skinny. When we cuddled I had to really find a way to get a comfy place for my face/head to rest.
Not a deal-breaker, but someone with a bit more meat IS nicer.


:smile:


Woman have preferences so it's unfair to feel men shouldn't have any!

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo
Thu 02/25/21 11:03 AM



I want the whole enchilada too! :smile:

Looks are some what important! I like a man with meat on his bones.
Not oversized.

No huge rough whiskers.




Yes, some meat for sure, just the normal amount. My last partner was slender, and rather skinny. When we cuddled I had to really find a way to get a comfy place for my face/head to rest.
Not a deal-breaker, but someone with a bit more meat IS nicer.


:smile:

Woman have preferences so it's unfair to feel men shouldn't have any!

I never said they shouldn't, nor did anyone else I think?

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