When I was younger I used to think about that and all. I haven't thought about it for quite a long time.

No, I won't be content when I die. Contentment and happiness are not really things I can experience. I won't look back with regret though.

I used to wonder about life's purpose. Not anymore.
Life's purpose is to live.
What I 'used to' think was meaningful for life turned out to not mean much at all. Wealthy or poor, successful or failure, love or hate, sunshine or clouds when it all boils down, you are either alive or not. Everything past that is selective delusion. If you are lucky, you will never fight for one more breath or one more beat of your heart. Until then, life's purpose has meaning and value but come the reaper, one more moment over-rides any superficial purpose you might have.

When I 'look back' on my life I realize I have done a lot and experienced a lot. Its extremely unlikely I will make it to 70 but I have no feeling of shortcoming or yearning for more. I now enjoy each moment in the moment. Everyday is pain and sickness now, I look thru that to find an inner peace which eluded me much of my life. I enjoy being alive despite the heavy physical toll.

I have no expectations about life because being alive is life.
I'm not thankful or regretful.
I just am...

Health is a thing, isn't it. The biggest reason I'm not doing what I'd want to do. I need a steady income and good healthcare insurance, and since I'd have to become a business owner this is super expensive. It is within limits if you make a reasonable amount, but then to go from zilch to that...

Setting up a business in The Netherlands is expensive. Tax office sux the life out of you.

But also... just registering your business... around E100
I had a webshop and HAD to become a member of small business & retail organisation ---> around E100-E150
Insurance to protect myself in case someone hurt themselves with one of the products I'd sold... ----> around E100

I hadn't even earned anything yet!
Then they come from music & copyright. Huge bill, couple 100 Euros a year. WTF?
I got out of it as I had office on my laptop in the living room where I always was. Technically I couldn't use radio in the packing area upstairs.

I'd have to make a MINIMUM of E5000 a month to get by, but that won't be easy living, making ends meet only. And not sure if that'd be enough to pay a bloodsuckin' bookkeeper, hihi.

If I'd have good health it'd be a lot easier as I'd do what I did before: get a part-time job that pays well and covers most healthcare etc. and start a business next to it for a few years so it can grow.

I'm wondering if there are small business incentives where you live?
In the States, the government has programs and grants for small businesses to start up. There are qualifications you must meet tho.

There's also the option of partnerships and 'silent partners'.
Some very rich people invest in small businesses as a way to gain credits and prestige. A silent partner is just that...silent. Meaning you run the business.

There's also 'go fund me' projects where you can get assistance with starting capital. There are still benevolent people out there who will help and not only with money but business advice and guidance as well.

There's also the option to get you feet wet under a non-profit trial run to test the market and your business model. THere are qualifications and restictions but it is a good way to gauge your business ideas against real world consumer interest. It depends a lot on the nature of the service you are attempting. You can sell products as long as the proceeds go back to the non-profit entity. Grants and gifts are donated to the non-profit and its overhead.
Technically, you are part of your non-profit's overhead. However, you will need to account for all your expendatures and prove, if asked, that they support the non-profit entity.

All in all, any small business requires personal dedication and sacrifice.
Long hours with often low rewards at first. If you health prevents this, your chances reflect it.

At least that's what makes sense to me.

I tend to have multiple purposes but I also change them rather often and don't always take them too seriously... I don't want obsessions, just feasible, realistic objectives. For instance I had to abandon my studies in Physics during first level degree and got a good job in the airline business. First purpose was to become financially stable, bought a house, sold it, bought another one and so on... made a family and then as if it was not enough I said to myself "hey remember that university degree? isn't it time now?" and replied to myself "are you crazy? studying physics with full time job and kids???" so I gave me the more realistic purpose to graduate in computer science, as I worked in that field..., done that, get a better paid job, buy a house near a nice beach, help kids to get their degrees and a house each... currently on track... after that, probably will go back to the degree in physics, when I retire and have some spare time... but as a pleasure, not as an obsession

Sounds like you've done a lot, tried different avenues, achieved a lot, and still have something ahead of you.
Sounds good!

You do get some advantageous stuff here, like tax benefit for a certain thing but I believe this is only for a few years, then you have to cough up the full whack.
I could start whilst having my benefit. The idea being of course that I do make my own living, but they'd back you up for a maximum of 3 years. After that, you're on your own.
Also comes with restrictions and rules, like having a business plan and council having to approve of it. So if they don't think it's viable, it's not going to happen.

Sometimes I think the only way I can get around to doing it is when I have a partner. Then I can give the gov. organisation who pays my benefit and inhibits me from making a little extra the finger, hihi.
And not that I need a man's money to start up. It's that I then have the freedom to do it.
What I want is from the heart, creative, and I can not do that when under pressure and having to follow a lot of linear BS rules. That kills inspiration at the speed of light.

Oh well... we'll see.

a pHd, financial security and a Nz passport pretty much open the door to travel to most countries in the world for most who choose to do humanitarian work is a matter of weighing up commitments with opportunity .

If you have a passion for nursing . It is never too late . You can still attend university and do a degree . .. Something to think about.. if the passion is there .

I gave it one last shot when I was about 38, and working in hospital as a doctor's assistant. I wanted to get into the OR, but what we call 'dual', meaning part working and making money and the other part studying. Most cities had that option, not where I was living.
We -my bestie and I- talked to the head of the nursing school and he was very interested in setting that dual traject up. But... the hospitals didn't want to cooperate and that was it.
That's when I decided, sod it. I tried, didn't work out, it's not meant to be, and turned to another passion: English.
It remained a sore spot for a long time though. But I can also see now why it wasn't my path. So I'm content in that sense.
If I'd do uni it'd be something different. I'd wanted to do Celtic Culture & Languages. At the time a new study, set up with a uni in England. But it would've meant moving to Utrecht during the week and leaving my 2 kids with my idiot narcissistic ex. No option!

Not to worry, I found another passion and dream that suits me down to the ground :)