Topic: Possessive?
Kevin's photo
Tue 04/20/21 07:53 AM
@Fred For your consideration?: Can another living being, more importantly, another human be an "object of possession"? Are we qualified or entitled to "own" another human being? Because "owning, ownership, possession" are fundamental prerequisites to express possessiveness.

I_love_bluegrass's photo
Tue 04/20/21 08:02 AM

@crystal ... hypothetical question . If another woman tries to take away the man you love .... would you allow that to happen or would you fight for your relationship ??? Is that considered a form of possessiveness ? Just curious .


If a guy can be "taken away", then he's not 100% into me....because if he *was*, he would not be interested in/ allow himself to be "taken away"...
It is a conscious/ intentional thing.


Fred's photo
Tue 04/20/21 08:02 AM
Edited by Fred on Tue 04/20/21 08:03 AM

@Fred For your consideration?: Can another living being, more importantly, another human be an "object of possession"? Are we qualified or entitled to "own" another human being? Because "owning, ownership, possession" are fundamental prerequisites to express possessiveness.

No. Of course not. I understand "possession" in this context ( relationship ) to be different than possession as "owning" someone. Only a slave master owns someone. Maybe "possessive" isn't the right word for what I'm talking about because it has a negative connotation. Should find another word for it. Until I I find one though I'll be using that word.

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo
Tue 04/20/21 08:22 AM


@crystal ... hypothetical question . If another woman tries to take away the man you love .... would you allow that to happen or would you fight for your relationship ??? Is that considered a form of possessiveness ? Just curious .


If a guy can be "taken away", then he's not 100% into me....because if he *was*, he would not be interested in/ allow himself to be "taken away"...
It is a conscious/ intentional thing.

Exactly!
I loved what my son told me after his relationship of 7 yrs had fallen apart. Months later he saw a girl he was interested in and he said he'd known her for years but during the time he was with his partner he didn't even really see other women. Not that way. Because he wasn't interested as he was totally happy and committed to his partner.
THAT's the kind of thing I'd need in a man! And dang, was I proud of my son when he told me that love

Gallo's photo
Tue 04/20/21 09:51 AM
The truth is being bullied all in the name of being in love with someone else is not very cool with me, but i believe with a good self confidence, you both as partners can actually make things work for each other without any of you feeling drained or used by the other individual.

Cutiepieforyou's photo
Tue 04/20/21 12:06 PM
No, of course not!

Tom4Uhere's photo
Tue 04/20/21 03:27 PM

@Fred For your consideration?: Can another living being, more importantly, another human be an "object of possession"? Are we qualified or entitled to "own" another human being? Because "owning, ownership, possession" are fundamental prerequisites to express possessiveness.

I know I'm not fred but I want to cime in on this.

I've seen relationships and marriages where this is exactly what happens.
Usually the man possessing the woman.
It does happen and it happens fairly frequently to different degrees.

There's a condition called "The Kept Man" in which the man is the one possessed and is forced to endure the whims of the woman in order for the relationship to continue.
"Sugar Mama" / "Sugar Daddy" arrangements usually involve this type of possesion as well.

Anytime someone else tells you that you can't do something you want to do or must do something you do not want to do they have possession of your free will.

You are the slave and they are the master.
It doesn't matter if its a personal relationship, religion or a society relationship.

You either have free will or you don't.
If you give up your choice it doesn't change the fact someone else has power over your decisions.

Slavery typically involves the enslaved person being made to perform some activity dictated by the slaver.

Y'all can twist it anyway ya want but it doesn't change what it is.
If'n that's how y'all want to live, that's up to you but don't think I don't see the delusion.

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo
Tue 04/20/21 03:48 PM


@Fred For your consideration?: Can another living being, more importantly, another human be an "object of possession"? Are we qualified or entitled to "own" another human being? Because "owning, ownership, possession" are fundamental prerequisites to express possessiveness.

I know I'm not fred but I want to cime in on this.

I've seen relationships and marriages where this is exactly what happens.
Usually the man possessing the woman.
It does happen and it happens fairly frequently to different degrees.

There's a condition called "The Kept Man" in which the man is the one possessed and is forced to endure the whims of the woman in order for the relationship to continue.
"Sugar Mama" / "Sugar Daddy" arrangements usually involve this type of possesion as well.

Anytime someone else tells you that you can't do something you want to do or must do something you do not want to do they have possession of your free will.

You are the slave and they are the master.
It doesn't matter if its a personal relationship, religion or a society relationship.

You either have free will or you don't.
If you give up your choice it doesn't change the fact someone else has power over your decisions.

Slavery typically involves the enslaved person being made to perform some activity dictated by the slaver.

Y'all can twist it anyway ya want but it doesn't change what it is.
If'n that's how y'all want to live, that's up to you but don't think I don't see the delusion.

I don't know who this 'y'all' is supposed to be that you're reacting to? So far as good as everyone has said they don't like it, so there is no "y'all".

Kevin's photo
Tue 04/20/21 09:11 PM
@Tom, @Sparkling

Yes, the "Y'all" part needs to be addressed. Over-simplification or generalization isn't healthy in a debate, discourse or discussion. I mostly agree with the views of both of you, based as they are in scientific reasoning. Your deliberations, along with those of others is giving this topic a great shape. As we have discussed at length on the theory and implications of possession, allow me to raise another related topic soon. I'll look forward to your valuable contributions, there too.

justaokguy's photo
Wed 04/21/21 09:04 AM
This thread needed popcorn for sure.

Cutiepieforyou's photo
Wed 04/21/21 09:36 AM

This thread needed popcorn for sure.


laugh

Kevin's photo
Wed 04/21/21 09:47 AM

This thread needed popcorn for sure.

LOLZ you bringing.....

Jerimiah's photo
Tue 05/11/21 03:53 AM
0 for the most majority of the population in the world men or women nobody wants a possessive partner same classification and controlling either one of those are positive but I would like my partner to be possessive over certain categories of the you do to my body to make you feel wanted sushi confidential it's a portrait in personality traits in a positive way

Jerimiah's photo
Sun 05/16/21 03:47 AM
a possessive man is basically just an overbearing large kid who never grew up due to his own imperfections out of his life for whatever reason may or may not have been his fault but it's his instability and choice to remain being that way that causes him not to be able to move on and change and grow up what you get past that then you finally learn what it's like to live

moomin's photo
Sun 05/16/21 06:32 AM
Absolutely not !
Being a possessive person is not a good trait and being in a possessive relationship is not a good thing .
It’s completely unhealthy .
I’ve been in relationships that started to get like that , and I was out of there , no way was I gonna endure that crap

Toodygirl5's photo
Tue 05/18/21 09:55 AM
No !

Some men have said I'm bossy. :wink:

no photo
Wed 05/19/21 12:26 AM
No. When I go out I am sociable and will chat to anyone and everyone. If I turn around and see my partner glaring at me, then I know we are not a good fit, he ought to be sociable too. Trust is paramount.
I would want him to be protective of me and the relationship, but not possessive.

It is a fine line sometimes.

no photo
Wed 05/19/21 01:13 AM
noooo

Kevin's photo
Wed 05/19/21 06:32 PM
@Ladywind: Yes TRUST is paramount in any relationship. But I'd differ from the "fine line", though I agree that a sense of insecurity arises when trust or trustworthiness is eroding! However, we cannot start to OWN human beings because of that! Possessive behavior is not only the fallout of insecurity, its also a pronounced power play! This exhibition of power, however subtle it might be, is the underlying thought in possessive behavior.

no photo
Wed 05/19/21 08:34 PM

@Ladywind: Yes TRUST is paramount in any relationship. But I'd differ from the "fine line", though I agree that a sense of insecurity arises when trust or trustworthiness is eroding! However, we cannot start to OWN human beings because of that! Possessive behavior is not only the fallout of insecurity, its also a pronounced power play! This exhibition of power, however subtle it might be, is the underlying thought in possessive behavior.



So is a Dom possessive or simply the one with the power?