It doesn't just happen. You cheated. Hit the road.

Rain only here...hasn't really snowed(I mean stuck) in a long, long, long, looooong time

He ran. She ran. She fell. He cried. She died.

EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS 

1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . .'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.'

I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear.

Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - -
and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald,
San Francisco

2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.

'Big breaths,’ I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,’ Replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,
Seattle, WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.

Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications.
'Which one?’ I asked.
'The patch.'
'The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours
and now I'm running out of places to put it!'

I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see.

Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair,
Norfolk, VA

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked,
'How long have you been bedridden?'

After a look of complete confusion she answered,
' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson,
Corvallis, OR

6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . .' So how's your breakfast this morning?'
'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,' Bob replied.

I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf,
Detroit

7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos,
and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.

When she was completely disrobed on the operating table,
the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green
and above it there was a Tattoo that read . . .' Keep off the grass.'

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, Which said, 'Sorry . . . Had to mow the lawn.'

Submitted by RN no name,

AND FINALLY!!

8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB,
I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams.
To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing, further embarrassing me.

I looked up from my work and sheepishly said . . ..
' I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'

She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . ..

' No doctor but the song you were whistling was,
' I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.'

Dr. Wouldn't submit his name....

1 MORE
Baby's First Doctor Visit

This made me laugh out loud.
I hope it will give you a smile!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room,
waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed,' she replied.

'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said,
'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'

'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came.'

Main reason is to keep stories shorter...men are concerned with the results...women with the journey.


As one comedian said(forget his name).



See men are needed to keep things short and simple

Wow! I leave for a minute and this topic is exploding lol. Now to follow-up

First let me say I added back in my original quote above(in bold), because I believe it is relevant. Now I will answer the question.



My original post was designed to show that if you attach a specific 'external' value to a person via 'gender-roles' than you could easily come to the conclusion that women of previous generations were pretty worthless, with the exception of sex, and procreation.

So if you weren't planning on having children why even bother with a relationship...after all they brought no 'value' to the table.

I put 'value' in quotes for a reason. Women(and men) of this generation have defined what it means to 'be a man' on external variables..such as bread-winner, handy-man, or mechanic. All of these are jobs and skills that anyone can learn, male or female, however because they were traditionally male, people come to view them as 'masculine' and that one demonstrating these skills is now somehow 'manly', and that if a woman can do these skills better than the man in her life it is 'emasculating' and he 'loses 'value' as a man'.

The reason I put 'value' in quotes is because what one chooses to value will vary in person to person. Some women honestly believe that a man's only value is external, and if they are no longer needed for those functions...then they are obviously not worth much..at least to that woman.

I don't believe the women of previous generations were worthless, men needed those women for their INTERNAL qualities that are usually inherent to women, soft-natured, caring, and even motherly, of course there are many others, this is just a sample. While a man can posses these qualities, generally they are more 'natural' to women. These qualities were necessary to balance out men's more natural inherent qualities.

Some of the more natural qualities men possess are aggression(which isn't always a bad thing), instinctively protective, directness, physical dominance, and even a desire for a power(which again isn't a bad thing).

My point is, that men and women compliment each others nature from internal, not external qualities. Unfortunately they're many women who don't understand their, and are often confused at even their own behavior. There are examples of this everywhere.

While in society are external dynamics are shifting our internal natures have remained the same, and some of our most primal needs are based on the needs of our body. Some believe that you are your brain, however, your brain is actually a tool for your body, and not the other way around, your body always wins in a 'contest-of-wills'. Don't believe me? tell your body not to pee for a month..or even a week. (your body will win..guaranteed lol).

So regardless of what society currently defines as 'gender-roles' our internal qualities and biology will still decide what we want in a mate, and in a relationship. Even if sometimes logically it makes no sense. For example, many women say that men who are 'attracted to power' are 'undesirable'.

However, show me a man in a powerful position and I'll show you a gorgeous woman standing next to him,(regardless if he is attractive or not).

Many women say they want a 'nice guy', but still wind up in relationships over and over with the 'bad boy'. They honestly don't know why. I mean logically it makes sense to be with a 'nice-guy' but it's the 'bad-boys' that make them swoon...why? Could it be that the 'bad-boys' possess more natural 'internal' masculine traits? Are the bad-boys normally more aggressive? dominant? physically strong? powerful?.

My point in all the rambling above, is what makes a man valuable is not what he does for a living, how much money he makes, or even what kind of car he drives. What makes a man valuable as a man are the internal masculine characteristics that he displays.

I'd say probably the sames things that men of previous generations needed women for.

I mean historically women didn't bring much 'value' to a relationship

At least now women can bring value to the relationship(you know besides sex and procreation)

There was a woman from Turkey,
who's smile is a bit smirky,

She would say this and that,
and scream 'beware of cat!'

From her conversations I gleaned
she was more than she seemed

The conversations were top-shelf,
even though they were with herself!

When I'm old and grey,
and can no longer remember our names,
I promise the unending love I feel for you today
will remain the same.

Hotter than the Texas sun.

that's just my interpretation....of course it could also mean "you're so ugly I'm afraid to look at you with both eyes..." nudges are in the 'eye' of the beholder.

My profile is an amazing example....just saying

I'll make it simpler...

A loser = A loser

A loser + A pregnancy = A loser with a kid

A strong confident woman = A strong confident woman.

A strong confident woman + A pregnancy = A strong confident woman with a kid.

the problem is SOME think that

A loser + A pregnancy = a strong confident woman...that's not normally the case.

Of course that last equation CAN change, but it takes desire, ambition, and determination in the part of the mom.

I reserve my opinions of a single mom until after her kids are grown.

But when deciding if I'd date a single mom, I weigh the same factors I'd weigh if she wasn't a mom. Such as does she have ambitions of her own? Is she intelligent? Can she have an adult conversation? Is she rude? Impatient? A Giver or a taker?

I weigh these qualities because if she has them, it will be passed on to her kids, if she doesn't she isn't going to magically get them because she had a kid.

Kids do present their own set of challenges, but if the women is worth it they can be overcome.

However, some single moms think that because they are a mom they are automatically worth it...imo that's not the case. They need to have as many if not more attractive qualities then their childless counterparts.

I've only lived in apartments and I generally make it a habit to become friends with my nearest neighbors...which normally isn't an issue.

I've noticed by doing this I can normally ask them politely to turn down their music or fix whatever other issue...sometimes helping them fIx it. Normally they respect me enough and do.

But I've been pretty fortunate to have decent neighbors.

Thanks this is an old topic, in the end I did use Jquery and php. This was a project for work that I've finished
..but when I get stuck again I know whk to reach out to! Thanks again.

4 letters obviously...

cool,
cagy,
calm....I could go on

I think this is where I differ, yes the profile is an advertisement, but I believe it should be an accurate advertisement of who an individual is...you know 'truth in advertising'.

I think my issue with advising what someone should and shouldn't put on their profile gives them a better opportunity to 'customize' and hide who they 'actually' are and actually 'target' an individual that they most likely aren't a good match for.

I could list what i PERSONALLY don't like to see in a profile, but what I don't like, and what another guy doesn't like most likely will be two different things.

I'm sure there are some 'general best practices' with profile etiquette. However, you run into the same thing I said above, you may not be seeing the 'real' individual.

For example;
You say 'don't have a shirtless pic' and 'smile'. Well what if the guy doesn't smile all the time, or takes shirtless pics constantly and puts them on Instagram...should he adjust his behavior just because he might 'have a higher chance with his 'target'? Or should he just go on being himself, and hopefully attract a women that likes that he's proud of his body? because she is also proud of hers and takes the same kind of photos?

So after all that, the only advice I'd give for anyone on their profile....is to be genuine in who they are, so that that when someone does find their profile, and reads it, it connects with what that individual is actually looking for...instead of some superficial 'best practices' that try to force people to conform into something they may not be.

yeah....but she knows it