Reptile

No.

Have you ever made homemade jam or jelly?

Radiohead

Wow, Timmy's is playing that kind of game now?

Small world. I currently live in greater Cleveland, Ohio (having previously lived in southwestern, northwestern and central Ohio) and have friends in Tuscarawas county. I drive through Ohio's Amish country with some regularity, as well as Amish areas in western Pennsylvania, and I grew up in Chautauqua county, New York, which also has a sizeable Amish population.

You and I are on the same page.

Atheism isn't a religion anyway. I mean, is bald a hair color?

I understand where y'all are coming from, and I'm not offended. I do think my case might be unusual, so I'm not going to pretend it's the norm, although I do think that mutual FWB might be more common than anyone supposes. And if it truly is mutual and pleasurable, then in my opinion, no one is being "used" because the sex becomes a mutual sharing.

I've actually had two FWB in my life. The first one (way back in my twenties; let's call him JK) DID result temporarily in my feeling hurt when I developed feelings that he didn't, but once I reminded myself that he'd already gone on record as saying he wasn't looking for a romance I realized I couldn't blame him for his honesty, as he genuinely was a friend. I got over it, and will even admit that after my next relationship went sour and I felt I needed an outlet, I went back ONCE to that well with JK to get it out of my system... because at least I knew he wouldn't feel used. I dunno; maybe in some ways I approach sex a bit more like a guy supposedly does, although I don't think I always or even usually do. But I can, and perhaps that makes the difference. I have a high libido; maybe that's a factor?

Given my choice, I'd far rather find ONE man with whom to spend the rest of my life in a committed, loving and yes, sexual relationship. But if for some reason I knew I was never going to have that, then I'll take a relaxed and playful sex life with trusted partners I care about as people and as friends over a life of celibacy. Again, that's just me speaking for myself, and I ascribe no particular attitude otherwise to anyone, your mileage may vary, void where prohibited, and if you're going to spindle or mutilate I'd rather not know about it.

I'll respectfully disagree on this one. My ex-husband started out as someone I was just friends with, and after we'd been friends with each other for a couple of years, *I* decided I wanted to be FWB. I was really not looking for a romance with him, because I'd had a couple of relationships end really painfully in the two years leading up to that point. But we trusted each other and I figured we could enjoy the physical pleasures and each other's company without getting too involved.

Not long afterward, *he* decided he wanted a full-scale relationship with me, and it took him nearly two months to talk me into it. Don't get me wrong -- by then we were essentially dating exclusively, but I wouldn't come right out and call it that. Not to mention that we lived at least two hours apart.

Well, I capitulated, and then moved to be with him. We lasted a decade, and we're now back to being just friends (WITHOUT the physical stuff now)... but we definitely started out as FWB and that wasn't a con on anyone's part.

Robert Heinlein

Iain M. Banks

Spider Robinson

Harry Turtledove

Greg Bear

Larry Niven

Diane Duane

C.J. Cherryh

James P. Hogan, but I really only liked his old stuff from the 70s and 80s. He pretty much went off the deep end after that.

Pearl S. Buck

Gore Vidal

James Michener

Diana Gabaldon, for the depth of her historical research

I can relate to this. I was raised Lutheran, and was quite devout for several years. However, having read the Bible extensively along with quite a bit of analysis, and having several friends and others close to me who followed different faith paths, I branched out and studied religion in the wider sense. I also took a comparative religions course in college that gave me the tools to see where the commonalities and the differences between faiths are found and the historical progression of ideas between them as they had contact with each other over the millennia. And I realized that I simply could not accept the idea of personal salvation vs damnation on the basis of one's belief or disbelief in a particular narrative. It just felt wrong to me, at the level of heart and soul.

I explored other faiths, read some more, and asked God (as understood said entity) a great many questions. Now, I've had direct spiritual experiences, bidirectional conversations with the Divine, throughout my life. (No, this element of my story is not open for debate because it is a personal and subjective experience. Thank you.) I can distill the answers I received down to one basic formula: No one religion has a monopoly on truth or on God, in any form. The Divine is far too enormous to be contained in any man-made box, but is willing to interact with us through nearly any medium we as mortals find useful, and will wear the masks we make for Him/Her/It/Them -- within reason -- if that's what it takes to facilitate that interaction. We are, in essence, one with that same pool of energy that fuels and forms the Divine entity itself, and as long as we can find ways to love and respect each other, we are doing things right.

I found the Unitarian Universalist faith to be a perfect fit for me, because their beliefs and teachings match up exactly with what I learned in my own search. I joined that church, and am at home there -- so much so that I am considering the possibility of pursuing a seminary degree. Granted, that's something that has percolated in the back of my mind since my teen years, although now rather than doing so in a Lutheran seminary I would attend a Unitarian-Universalist one if I were to indeed take that plunge.

It wasn't quiet in my neighborhood earlier. Someone was setting off fireworks in broad daylight. Scared the bejeezus out of my cats.

because some people's lives aren't strange enough

Trust me, I'm friends with my ex-husband but we will never be "friends with benefits". That's actually what started us off on the road to what became our marriage, but we're no longer interested in each other romantically or sexually, and when we realized that about ourselves that's what ended our marriage.

Men and women CAN be friends.

That's basically how things are with me and the guy from last fall. We didn't even date all that long (maybe six weeks) before it became evident we probably weren't headed for long-term romantic bliss. We're just a bit too different in some crucial areas to have been compatible for a long-haul relationship, but we do have a lot in common, and we genuinely like each other and enjoy each other's company. So upon that basis we chose to build a close and affectionate friendship instead of a romance.

I love him dearly as a friend and we still spend quite a bit of time together, just hanging out. We're both enough given to physical affection for a hug and a peck on the lips at the end of the evening, but that's the extent of it. I'm very glad we're still part of each other's lives, and I hope we remain so.

Historically, in the more rural parts of Christendom where there might not necessarily be clergy always on hand to perform marriage ceremonies it used to be entirely acceptable and common for a peasant couple to marry not by first standing up in a church together but by presenting the marriage as a foregone fact -- by cohabitating and producing a child. That child served as proof that the marriage had been consummated, and the couple living together served as proof of their commitment to becoming one. Any religious blessing bestowed at that point functioned as a simple acknowledgement of the fact of their existing marriage.

Also, I doubt the Christian God would care all that much about the LEGAL ceremonials... at most it would be a matter of a religious ceremony, and in regard to that subject, refer to the above...

We already had "G". Would you like to take "H"?

Yes. I was in retail and restaurant work for years.


Have you ever eaten a Fluffernutter sandwich?

Isn't it about time we got to K?


Kaleidoscope

Underdog