Topic: Scared to jump back in
j_d_knight's photo
Tue 02/09/10 09:21 AM
A few years back I lost my girlfriend who was pregnant to a drunk driver, I am finding if harder than ever to jump back into the world of dating, and I am scared to death to stick myself out there again. Any advice.

no photo
Tue 02/09/10 09:23 AM
Time heals all wounds. Wait til you're not scared. Sounds pretty simple, but that's all you can do. If you try before you're ready, it's not fair to yourself or the person you'd be trying to date. Good luck to you and sorry for your loss.

MelodyGirl's photo
Tue 02/09/10 09:39 AM
I am sorry for your loss. flowerforyou

As LeighAnna said, you will know when you are ready. If you are feeling apprehensive now -- maybe you aren't ready. Don't bring baggage to a new relationship; it's not fair to you or them.

I wish you well. Dating is fun and if you go into it without the pressure of finding a serious relationship and just have fun then you will adjust more quickly.

no photo
Tue 02/09/10 09:40 AM

A few years back I lost my girlfriend who was pregnant to a drunk driver, I am finding if harder than ever to jump back into the world of dating, and I am scared to death to stick myself out there again. Any advice.
I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I try to keep in my heart that those that cross our paths are merely "loaned" to us for reasons that only God knows of....there is always a reason that they come into our lives, no matter how short or long a time period....take what you have from her and hold it dear....and when you are ready....hold your head up and give yourself the opportunity to give your love to someone else....she still knows that you care, that you always will....but, I imagine she also knows that there is still enough love left in your heart to give to someone else....I wish you luck.

lilith401's photo
Tue 02/09/10 10:13 AM
If you're still scared you're not ready. Take all the time you need to heal. Unless and until your past is history and not a wound another woman must bear, then remain single.

What happened to you was awful. But keep in mind the next woman you're with doesn't need to have it be her fault. I'm sorry.

tanyaann's photo
Tue 02/09/10 10:17 AM
I am sorry for your loss! flowerforyou

I don't know what steps you have taken to help you with the grief process, but you might want to look into local support groups to help you with moving on past the loss of a loved one. Also, M.A.D.D might also be a good resource to check out.

no photo
Tue 02/09/10 10:23 AM
I lost the love of my life 4 years ago to a drunk driver, given it time, just keep her in your thoughts and take things slow!!!

TxsGal3333's photo
Tue 02/09/10 11:00 AM
Don't go into dating instead go for friendships. There is nothing harder then loosing a loved one and when there is a child involved as well it is devastating.

Time is the only thing that will get you thorough friendships help along the way....

Be honest with others as well..........

Sorry for your heartache but within time things will get easier as time goes on...flowerforyou

TexasScoundrel's photo
Tue 02/09/10 11:12 AM
Don't try to date. Just go out and socialize without any other agenda. Meet new people an make new friends. Just try to have fun.

no photo
Tue 02/09/10 11:26 AM
If you could find the right one again.it might help. flowerforyou It did with me. But every one is differnt. and dating now days is a pain in the azz!

no photo
Tue 02/09/10 11:28 AM
A pain in the azz! at times. do what youer heart tells you

j_d_knight's photo
Wed 02/10/10 10:43 PM
I think part of being scared is being alone, and the rest is of going through more pain, I wished to die before because of what happened but with time I recovered, with support, and friends, and they have been the ones telling me to get back out there, find someone to build a new relationship but I know I should not expect anyone to be willing to go into a relationship with this kind of baggage attached, they dont agree thinking that if you find the right person they can accept it. So I try. I do appreciate everyone's kind words, and thank you for caring and offering your support to me.

yellowrose10's photo
Wed 02/10/10 10:45 PM
you need to be ok with you first, then it won't be so bad. Be happy with yourself and comfortable doing your own thing.

that's the trick

no photo
Wed 02/10/10 10:55 PM
Dating can be a pretty awkward and emotionally remote experience
- you might want to be more selective than normal since it sounds like you're still in a vulnerable place.

no photo
Wed 02/10/10 10:57 PM

A few years back I lost my girlfriend who was pregnant to a drunk driver, I am finding if harder than ever to jump back into the world of dating, and I am scared to death to stick myself out there again. Any advice.

Everyone here has given you the best replies..
I can only add, that when your truly over her, you will carry her with you forever, yet only have her in your head.
In times missed thoughts of her....time passing and you re-living.
Thats the cure, and just roll with YOUR flow,,,and see where life has you wanting and thinking about, in-place of her thoughts,wink. Good luck, and remember, you dont ever have to be with another? THATS always in your own thoughts and desires..
many people,NEVER get over a Love?:heart: drinker

mcdchaz's photo
Thu 02/11/10 07:15 AM
When i first got divorced I couldnt even talk to a woman.It has taken me 3yrs but i think in ready.How did i know???I started saying Hi first.Guess what im saying is you u dont feelit dont force urself

mcdchaz's photo
Thu 02/11/10 07:16 AM

If you're still scared you're not ready. Take all the time you need to heal. Unless and until your past is history and not a wound another woman must bear, then remain single.

What happened to you was awful. But keep in mind the next woman you're with doesn't need to have it be her fault. I'm sorry.


ABSOLUTELY AGREE

Quietman_2009's photo
Thu 02/11/10 08:08 AM
Edited by Quietman_2009 on Thu 02/11/10 08:22 AM
if you're gonna love you're gonna get hurt. as sure as the sun comes up in the mornin

the only way to never be hurt is to never love and that kind of a life sucks

some people get hurt so bad that they never ever recover

I know a lot of guys that are slowly drinking themselves to death cause they can't get over the hurt that some girl did to them some time years ago

your hurt is more traumatic than most. all you can do is let the natural grieving process take its course

when you're ready you'll meet someone who is sensitive enough to understand the trauma that you've been through

just dont force it. let it take its natural course

no photo
Thu 02/11/10 08:11 AM

if you're gonna love you're gonna get hurt. as sure as the sun comes up in the mornin

the only way to never be hurt is to never love and that kind of a life sucks

some people get hurt so bad that they never ever recover

I know a lot of guys that are slowly drinking themselves to death cause they can't get over the hurt that some girl did to them some time years ago

you're hurt is more traumatic than most. all you can do is let the natural grieving process take its course

when you're ready you'll meet someone who is sensitive enough to understand the trauma that you've been through

just dont force it. let it take its natural course


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