Topic: confused
74Drew's photo
Mon 03/22/10 08:25 AM

Drew, just send her another email saying good morning or the like & if she doesn't answer. Then she's probably not interested. At least with a greeting she could greet you back if she's interested.

i ended the last email with a question. if she was interested, she would have answered it. and it's not like i was phishing for info either or asking for her email address or anything.

it's not worth the effort. a lot of women want to/think they deserve to be pursued. i'm not a cop chasing down a criminal or a hunter chasing his next meal. i don't do the pursuing thing. and i don't like the playing hard to get thing either. i'm not asking for a woman to give it up on the first date, but i'm not going to wait around for it for months either. if a girl's not willing to fool around at least a little bit after a couple of dates, either have a good excuse or i'm moving on.


. . .

Tessa02's photo
Mon 03/22/10 08:30 AM
I can understand what you're saying. You're a nice guy & sometime when it's right you'll find the woman you're looking for.:)

isaac_dede's photo
Mon 03/22/10 08:32 AM

i just find it rude.

if a woman shows interest and i'm not feeling it, i tell her "thanks but not interested."
to me it's better than just ignoring her. at least she's not sitting back saying "that d!ck won't even bother to tell me he's not interested." hopefully they have some respect for me for being straightforward.

but to just not reply to a message that was sent as a reply to her message is a little fvcked if you ask me.


. . .

Why does it matter one way or the other? If they drop the conversation they are not intrested...if you are upset at them for that..guess what? they don't live up to your expectation or manners....NEXT!....why whine?

msharmony's photo
Mon 03/22/10 08:34 AM
Edited by msharmony on Mon 03/22/10 08:35 AM
farrrr too many fish in the sea and minglers on mingle,, to get STUCK to one who isnt reciprocating,,,,some may ignore because of bad experience( I am guilty of this as well), some because they arent sure how to say they arent interested without sounding snotty or conceited or rude,,,but whatever reason one doesnt respond it usually isnt because they are INTERESTED, so make use of the resources we have and MOVE ON....to the next


for those who FEIGN interest and than just disappear,,thats pretty crappy to do to someone and FUDGE YOU...lol
(just had to say it)

no photo
Mon 03/22/10 09:20 AM

when did ignoring someone become the accepted way of letting them know you're not interested?

i thought honesty and straightforwardness were the things that people expected and respected.

if someone isn't interested, isn't it better for them to tell you than to just pretend you're not there?
even in the electric world it doesn't seem right. if i were talking to someone at a bar and they lost interest would they just completely ignore me? they might feign some reason for departing, but i doubt they would just pretend that i wasn't there.

i don't get it.


. . .


I think the etiquette for online is very different from real life. You just have to get used to it. Its like a different culture.

74Drew's photo
Mon 03/22/10 10:26 AM
Edited by 74Drew on Mon 03/22/10 10:27 AM


i just find it rude.

if a woman shows interest and i'm not feeling it, i tell her "thanks but not interested."
to me it's better than just ignoring her. at least she's not sitting back saying "that d!ck won't even bother to tell me he's not interested." hopefully they have some respect for me for being straightforward.

but to just not reply to a message that was sent as a reply to her message is a little fvcked if you ask me.


. . .

Why does it matter one way or the other? If they drop the conversation they are not intrested...if you are upset at them for that..guess what? they don't live up to your expectation or manners....NEXT!....why whine?

not so much whining, and i agree; next. i'm just wondering when the cowardice became the accepted convention? and, why are people so chicken sh|t? and, are people really so fragile that we have to tiptoe around their feelings instead of giving it to them straight?


. . .

Tessa02's photo
Mon 03/22/10 11:22 AM
Now, Drew I keep telling you to quit sending me all those naughty emails that I'm just not meeting you for sex!! Now, cut it out I'm not interested!!!

Just joking...Drew hasn't emailed me!!:wink:

shoesmonkey's photo
Mon 03/22/10 06:42 PM
What is the point in getting SO mad???? Seems you have a bad temper. Maybe you conveyed that to her and, she "took off".

74Drew's photo
Mon 03/22/10 08:42 PM

What is the point in getting SO mad???? Seems you have a bad temper. Maybe you conveyed that to her and, she "took off".

not really mad, just put off. i guess that it's become socially acceptable to ignore people when you aren't interested in them. just pretend that they don't exist.


. . .

EquusDancer's photo
Mon 03/22/10 09:52 PM




how about some role reversal.
would you rather hear "not interested" or "....................."?

i don't think anyone prefers being ignored over being told the truth.


. . .


There's the common decency argument which Drew is saying, but, then there's Monier's very good point as well. You say you're not interested, which quickly follows with "why," and then "what did I do," etc. blah blah. There's got to be some kind of middle ground though.


I got that today. Irritating.
what's that? the disregard or the why?


. . .


The Why. And I'd already politely explained that I'd just gotten out of a relationship and wasn't interested in getting back into one, at this time.

EquusDancer's photo
Mon 03/22/10 09:54 PM


What is the point in getting SO mad???? Seems you have a bad temper. Maybe you conveyed that to her and, she "took off".

not really mad, just put off. i guess that it's become socially acceptable to ignore people when you aren't interested in them. just pretend that they don't exist.


. . .


General rudeness.

Though in fairness, there's plenty of stalker-type activity going on, and no one really takes "no" anymore.

74Drew's photo
Mon 03/22/10 09:55 PM





how about some role reversal.
would you rather hear "not interested" or "....................."?

i don't think anyone prefers being ignored over being told the truth.


. . .


There's the common decency argument which Drew is saying, but, then there's Monier's very good point as well. You say you're not interested, which quickly follows with "why," and then "what did I do," etc. blah blah. There's got to be some kind of middle ground though.


I got that today. Irritating.
what's that? the disregard or the why?


. . .


The Why. And I'd already politely explained that I'd just gotten out of a relationship and wasn't interested in getting back into one, at this time.

i don't get the people who ask why. i think that they think they're a real catch and that a woman must be daft to not be interested in them.
i've heard that i'm a catch. seems that the women i'm attracted to don't fish.


. . .

EquusDancer's photo
Mon 03/22/10 10:00 PM






how about some role reversal.
would you rather hear "not interested" or "....................."?

i don't think anyone prefers being ignored over being told the truth.


. . .


There's the common decency argument which Drew is saying, but, then there's Monier's very good point as well. You say you're not interested, which quickly follows with "why," and then "what did I do," etc. blah blah. There's got to be some kind of middle ground though.


I got that today. Irritating.
what's that? the disregard or the why?


. . .


The Why. And I'd already politely explained that I'd just gotten out of a relationship and wasn't interested in getting back into one, at this time.

i don't get the people who ask why. i think that they think they're a real catch and that a woman must be daft to not be interested in them.
i've heard that i'm a catch. seems that the women i'm attracted to don't fish.


. . .


I can see asking it sometimes, like if you've been in a relationship. If someone truthfully responds, it gives you a way to change(if you choose) those issues.

But as a general chit-chat thing when you don't have a relationship or anything, it's just kind of childish. It definitly comes across as an ego thing.

74Drew's photo
Mon 03/22/10 10:02 PM
Edited by 74Drew on Mon 03/22/10 10:04 PM



I can see asking it sometimes, like if you've been in a relationship. If someone truthfully responds, it gives you a way to change(if you choose) those issues.

But as a general chit-chat thing when you don't have a relationship or anything, it's just kind of childish. It definitly comes across as an ego thing.

i agree.
in fact, i would like to be told what i did wrong in a relationship so that i could improve for the next one. of course, i'd rather be told as i'm making mistakes so that it doesn't get to the ending part.



. . .

EquusDancer's photo
Mon 03/22/10 10:04 PM




I can see asking it sometimes, like if you've been in a relationship. If someone truthfully responds, it gives you a way to change(if you choose) those issues.

But as a general chit-chat thing when you don't have a relationship or anything, it's just kind of childish. It definitly comes across as an ego thing.

i agree.
in fact, i would like to be told what i did wrong in a relationship so that i could improve for the next one. of course, i'd rather be told as i'm making mistakes so that it doesn't get to the ending part.



. . .


Oh yeah!! :thumbsup:

74Drew's photo
Mon 03/22/10 10:07 PM





I can see asking it sometimes, like if you've been in a relationship. If someone truthfully responds, it gives you a way to change(if you choose) those issues.

But as a general chit-chat thing when you don't have a relationship or anything, it's just kind of childish. It definitly comes across as an ego thing.

i agree.
in fact, i would like to be told what i did wrong in a relationship so that i could improve for the next one. of course, i'd rather be told as i'm making mistakes so that it doesn't get to the ending part.



. . .


Oh yeah!! :thumbsup:

i've always tried to be considerate. i messed things up with a girl a long time ago because i was too considerate. of course she didn't tell me until after she dumped me.


. . .

EquusDancer's photo
Mon 03/22/10 10:09 PM






I can see asking it sometimes, like if you've been in a relationship. If someone truthfully responds, it gives you a way to change(if you choose) those issues.

But as a general chit-chat thing when you don't have a relationship or anything, it's just kind of childish. It definitly comes across as an ego thing.

i agree.
in fact, i would like to be told what i did wrong in a relationship so that i could improve for the next one. of course, i'd rather be told as i'm making mistakes so that it doesn't get to the ending part.



. . .


Oh yeah!! :thumbsup:

i've always tried to be considerate. i messed things up with a girl a long time ago because i was too considerate. of course she didn't tell me until after she dumped me.


. . .


There's always an excuse. Sometimes they're legit, and many, many times they aren't.

One can't fix what one doesn't know about.

74Drew's photo
Mon 03/22/10 10:09 PM
true, true.



. . .

isaac_dede's photo
Tue 03/23/10 08:36 AM



i just find it rude.

if a woman shows interest and i'm not feeling it, i tell her "thanks but not interested."
to me it's better than just ignoring her. at least she's not sitting back saying "that d!ck won't even bother to tell me he's not interested." hopefully they have some respect for me for being straightforward.

but to just not reply to a message that was sent as a reply to her message is a little fvcked if you ask me.


. . .

Why does it matter one way or the other? If they drop the conversation they are not intrested...if you are upset at them for that..guess what? they don't live up to your expectation or manners....NEXT!....why whine?

not so much whining, and i agree; next. i'm just wondering when the cowardice became the accepted convention? and, why are people so chicken sh|t? and, are people really so fragile that we have to tiptoe around their feelings instead of giving it to them straight?


. . .

you mean fragile like you are displaying? they ignored you and you got your feeling hurt from that....I wonder what the topic would have been if she would have given it to you straight...

"Why do women feign interest, and then tell me they are no longer interested!...I guess it's just mind games"

yawn

Gossipmpm's photo
Tue 03/23/10 08:44 AM
And once ya been on a site like this long enough

ya learn

through trail and error

the women who will flirt and flirt and give ya nothing
the women ya know will never answer your e mail
the women who play games

then ya just Wade through the crap and move on

after awhile the games will make ya just sit back and laugh

then out of nowhere...

She will appear...

Like an angel... Lol

good luck to ya!:heart: