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Topic: Marriage.......WHY??????
krupa's photo
Sun 12/05/10 07:22 AM
Everyone will have an opinion on this one....

Everyones opinion will be true (for themselves)

I am curious about individual perspectives here.

Personally, NEVER! I see nothing but negatives reguarding the strangle hold of marriage. It does not enforce loyalty. It kills sex drives. The majority of the time it leads to the legal headaches of divorce (often leaving kids with biased and limited information available on what actually happened). It leads to criminal taxation rates against the secondary income. It leaves you socially obligated to deal with in-laws on all major holidays hand half your weekends off (and all the drama those freaks bring with them).

Rarely, it will bring in a person who you really can grow to love but it aint often. (my ex bro-in-law is a great guy and I still treat him like a loved brother)

Someone wing some positives out here cause I need to understand why so many women are hung up on the concept that marriage is the end goal of even forming a relationship.

Cause honestly....unless I get pregnant...I ain't getting married.

soufiehere's photo
Sun 12/05/10 07:28 AM
I have seen you in that ninja dress.
Pregnancy is not out of the question.

krupa's photo
Sun 12/05/10 07:33 AM

I have seen you in that ninja dress.
Pregnancy is not out of the question.


b*tch!


Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful.

AllenAqua's photo
Sun 12/05/10 07:34 AM
For me, marriage is a formal declaration of "we stand together against the world".

It's about trust, commitment, fidelity and union.

Not very popular paradigms in today's culture, I admit...

To me having a wife is having a family, whereas having a girlfriend is having a friend who's a girl.

jmo

Gossipmpm's photo
Sun 12/05/10 07:42 AM
Marriage????


Wow I don't know

There will be no more kiddies so.....

There is deep love between my partner and I and I think marriage really would be only a piece
Of decorative paper to us...

We don't need it at all really

Ya know he will b here tomorrow...I'm gonna ask him but I am fairly sure his mind thinks like mine!:heart:


RKISIT's photo
Sun 12/05/10 07:53 AM
getting married seems to be something that people do for the kids they plan on having,but most kids see the parents get divorced so really what point is there to get married.

chelsea466's photo
Sun 12/05/10 07:53 AM
Marriage is two people committing to be by each other's side for the rest of their life.
A relationship that the two people have built on trust, love, respect and communication.

I believe that if and when I find that man.
Then yes I would like to be married.


Redsoxfan1's photo
Sun 12/05/10 08:01 AM
I feel that if you love someone enough, and are 'committed' already to the relationship, marriage is the next logical step. That shows you want that person for life!!:heart:

Gossipmpm's photo
Sun 12/05/10 08:09 AM
It's so interesting to read all these!

My partner and I are committed...no doubt to either of us

Through good and bad..and believe me.. We have had bad

And although. You have the paper... Make the vows before God.,.

It might not work....divorce is really high now...,despite the paper...the reception..the wedding album on the coffe table....

So for me I think it really is personal choice..

When young and in love....ya dream....that's life...that's good

When your older and in love....life experience....you know the reality!:heart:

krupa's photo
Sun 12/05/10 08:15 AM
Very cool!

I envy some of you kids faith. Wish I had more of it....then again I wish Loni Anderson was drunk, naked and binging me a winning lotto ticket and a box of porn. Sigh.

chelsea466's photo
Sun 12/05/10 08:15 AM
It's true to each their own.

I am happy I didn't get married because of my daughter.

But I think if you find that one and it's what the 2 people want then go for it.

If they are happy just being together then that's great too.


mrheartfelt's photo
Sun 12/05/10 08:24 AM

It's so interesting to read all these!

My partner and I are committed...no doubt to either of us

Through good and bad..and believe me.. We have had bad

And although. You have the paper... Make the vows before God.,.

It might not work....divorce is really high now...,despite the paper...the reception..the wedding album on the coffe table....

So for me I think it really is personal choice..

When young and in love....ya dream....that's life...that's good

When your older and in love....life experience....you know the reality!:heart:




I would love to weigh in on this one. Marriage is something that is taken lightly today because of the times being as they are. There is a lot of what I call "short term " gratification(I want it Now!!!). One must really sit down and ask themselves: Is this what I really want? And, marriage of course, is two people really and truly in love with each other and the chemistry and compatibilty are there.

Another question could very well be: What are you really looking for?

This will take some serious soul searching to find out where one is really at in the way this is being thought out. Jmo.

Gossipmpm's photo
Sun 12/05/10 08:34 AM
So what are you saying mr heartfelt...

That because my partner and I are totally committed
In a deep loving relationship
Moving through life hand in hand
Always there for one another
At our age it's waY past puppy love

That we should be married?

Or are you saying..

Because we are not married...

Our love is not valid?

What exactly am I soul searching for?

Another white dress?
Another party
Another honeymoon
Another certificate

Fast gratification- not here!

mrheartfelt's photo
Sun 12/05/10 08:38 AM

So what are you saying mr heartfelt...

That because my partner and I are totally committed
In a deep loving relationship
Moving through life hand in hand
Always there for one another
At our age it's waY past puppy love

That we should be married?

Or are you saying..

Because we are not married...

Our love is not valid?

What exactly am I soul searching for?

Another white dress?
Another party
Another honeymoon
Another certificate

Fast gratification- not here!




I am saying for those who are already committed: congrats!!! For those that are not(like me), it is going to be done as I say above(at least that is what is in my mind's eye and that is what I feel)!!!!

Seakolony's photo
Sun 12/05/10 08:38 AM

Everyone will have an opinion on this one....

Everyones opinion will be true (for themselves)

I am curious about individual perspectives here.

Personally, NEVER! I see nothing but negatives reguarding the strangle hold of marriage. It does not enforce loyalty. It kills sex drives. The majority of the time it leads to the legal headaches of divorce (often leaving kids with biased and limited information available on what actually happened). It leads to criminal taxation rates against the secondary income. It leaves you socially obligated to deal with in-laws on all major holidays hand half your weekends off (and all the drama those freaks bring with them).

Rarely, it will bring in a person who you really can grow to love but it aint often. (my ex bro-in-law is a great guy and I still treat him like a loved brother)

Someone wing some positives out here cause I need to understand why so many women are hung up on the concept that marriage is the end goal of even forming a relationship.

Cause honestly....unless I get pregnant...I ain't getting married.

Marriage didn't kill my relationship with my ex.........it enhanced my feeling for him..........I will always have love in my heart...........it made my desires run deeper for him...........it was the drug addiction he fell prey to that killed my trust love and desire for him.......I am thankful everyday he found his way to recovery and restabilized his like......unfortunately I could not regain my trust and carry on a farce for the children.............but if I found someone to love again I would wish marriage again......I realize not all people feel the way I did or the way I do about it......but u can be sure......if I make the agreement to take that oath again I will look at it as a forever commitment just as I did the first time...........and through our children we are forever linked.......

Gossipmpm's photo
Sun 12/05/10 08:40 AM
:smile: :heart:

Thanks!! And all the best to you!

soufiehere's photo
Sun 12/05/10 08:43 AM


I have seen you in that ninja dress.
Pregnancy is not out of the question.

b*tch!
Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful.

Au contraire.
I am picturing you with morning sickness
and kruparhoids in 5" heels.

no photo
Sun 12/05/10 09:00 AM

Everyone will have an opinion on this one....

Everyones opinion will be true (for themselves)

I am curious about individual perspectives here.

Personally, NEVER! I see nothing but negatives reguarding the strangle hold of marriage. It does not enforce loyalty. It kills sex drives. The majority of the time it leads to the legal headaches of divorce (often leaving kids with biased and limited information available on what actually happened). It leads to criminal taxation rates against the secondary income. It leaves you socially obligated to deal with in-laws on all major holidays hand half your weekends off (and all the drama those freaks bring with them).

Rarely, it will bring in a person who you really can grow to love but it aint often. (my ex bro-in-law is a great guy and I still treat him like a loved brother)

Someone wing some positives out here cause I need to understand why so many women are hung up on the concept that marriage is the end goal of even forming a relationship.

Cause honestly....unless I get pregnant...I ain't getting married.


yes u do see the negatives & always have for as long as I have known u on here. my question is, if u r so certain, why do u bother asking us to show u the positives?

unless you open to them u will never experience them anyway, Krupa

I really like u so that is my "it's my turn to be a real friend" dose of truth - even if I'm just a cyber friend

EquusDancer's photo
Sun 12/05/10 09:08 AM
Short of the financial and medical legalities involved, I really don't see the point, personally. My mom's best friend and her partner have been living together for 30+ years. They love each other and enjoy each other. Both families approve of him and her, so there's no issue with regards to medical issues. If there was, then parents would have control over any major emergencies. They've hammered out the legalities involving financial issues, and while she wouldn't get as much SSI if he died first, because they aren't married, she will get enough from his stocks and such to see her comfortably. Vice versa if something happened to her first. The house is in both their names, so it becomes the one person's if the other one dies first.

It's a matter of talking things out, and dealing with lawyers. At least doing it ahead of time is smarter then dealing with them in case of divorce. Cheaper too.

bastet126's photo
Sun 12/05/10 09:40 AM
marriage doesn't do those things krupa, people do. all those things happen, or not, whether you are married or not.

being in a committed relationship, unmarried, doesn't keep someone faithful or more enamorous, it is just makes it easier to walk away. it is the original intent of those involved, married or not, that makes it work. over years, people have led to the destruction of the relationship in general. becoming greedy and self-serving and often fearful of, in their mind, a lonely existance. too many people settle, marry as the 'thing to do' and look at it as the vehicle to forever love. there are destructive forces that come in to any relationship, some can be worked through, others not.

marriage is not for the weak of heart, and society has taken a once sacred oath and allowed us to speak, what seems now, mostly meaningless vows. it is the hearts intent that makes it work or not, one must truly know their self to know if it is something they can enter into with another. to find two like minded people these days seems to be a daunting task.

marriage can be a beautiful thing, a committment of that level can be powerful and in its purest intent, forever. it ONLY becomes negative when love does not prevail. its up to the the two to make that happen.

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