would you date someone that was your friend first? and how would you tell them when you dont know if they like you back???

hmmm, complicated

I never got the whole friends thing. If I wasnt attracted to a woman romantically, I just didn't want anything to do with them. I mean sure, I have female friends, but not friends per say like hang out with them type of friends. So to answer that question, no, I would not date someone who is just a friend, because if they are just a friend, then I'm not into them. I think most people are the same way.

there is a guy that i have known sense he was little and he went to school with this one girl who he became bestfriends with
they have been together for 3yrs after knowing each other for over 20yrs and they are now engaged and planing on getting married this year

go in for the kiss. you either get a 'wth??' or a kiss back..... be prepared for 'awkward!!!' if it's the former.

only problem with that, i work with them in uni, i have to see them every day. that could turn REALLY awkward

I was thinking about this earlier. Lol. I'd probably try flirting in a humorous way, so that they don't feel they're offending me, if they don't like me in the same way. If that person makes it clear they don't want me i just say something like "Yeah, you know what? Never really liked you that much. Get over yourself!", i say that in a humourous way, then i pretend to cry and walk off. I mock myself a lot. Haha :). That usually has the others laughing. Then i come back in, and tell em it's all good. Lol. I then say to that friend, jokingly, "Well YOU won't be gettin a piece of my sexy ***".

Think of the worse scenerio that could happen if things go bad. Be prepared to deal with that if this friend thing does indeed go forward. Thats just my 2cents. /shrug

and you work with them. that's the trifecta. a friend, that you want to date, that you work with. hmmmmmmmmmm.... usually not a good combination.

For me, once a friend, always a friend.

Personally, I have no problems with the friend thing. It might take a while for things to evolve in that direction, but why set such limitations on yourself? If you are friends, there is a connection of some sort. Problem is, someone who began as just a friend could actually evolve past that point as the years pass.

Also, I believe in Bastet's approach. In fact, it's actually worked for me a couple times. I usually mention something before doing it though, and have been pleasantly surprised when she said, "Go for it."

I don't have a friend I would consider dateable. I will occasionally go out with a guy friend and see a movie or do things but the reason they're friends is because they don't catch my eye the same way.

To the friend thing, some times they start out to be just friends because when you meet them they might be with someone else at the time. Then you can learn more about them and either like them more or find out the bad stuff that might be a deal breaker for a relationship but not be for friendship.

But as far as someone that you work with, that is something I would not do. You have to see them everyday which might be good at first but as time goes on if there is any doubts then watching your partner at work and maybe "flirting" (you might see flirting but no one else does) with other co-workers would put a wedge between you two.
Or if the relationship does go bad then you would have to see them everyday whether you want to or not...lol.

Although there is the possibility that you two date and realize that nothing will happen so you just stay friends. That way you will not wonder about the road not taken. But does your company have a workplace dating policy? Most places do...

"Erm, George, (or in My case, Gertrude), what you say if I went down on you now?"

I don't think any man could say "no" to that. Not even G-d. (Look at Mary, the poor young thing.)

Well, I've dated people who started out as my friend. The first didn't work out so well and we haven't spoken since. The second I'm still friends with, on and off relationship-like.
As for telling them how you feel, I'm not much of a help on that part since I'd never have the courage to do it myself. For others I'd just recommend putting it out there and explaining that you don't want it to affect the friendship if they don't share your feelings.

Been there done that. I have an ex boyfriend who I have worked with for the last 15 years, and teh last 12 he has been my ex boyfriend. After cheating on me and then marrying hte same woman. Let me tell you the first year, he avoided me like the plague. I was obviously furious over hte situation. NOW I learned don;t date coworkers.
BUT I know of at least three couples that have met at work and are happy as can be, tow are planning on gettign married.
So I guess it just depends on the people and situation

I'd be afraid of ruining the friendship if it didn't work out. So no, I wouldn't.

Tricky.
But it is not like it is your brother.
Walk on by at your own risk.
He might have been the one.

If it's a job you risk for not being able to stand the "awkward", then go for it. Jubs are jubs, you can always get another one, people who would make good husbands are irreplaceable. I would not say this to a 36-year-old and up, but you're 19, or 18, and you can get a job, a good one, any time anywhere else, coz employers like young new hires. A young person does not nag, does not complain, is not demanding, is not insistent on doing the job her or his way, so you can get any job just about at the age you are at.

If it's school work what you called 'work' when you said you work with him in uni (= assumed to mean university), then don't. You get a shot at an education once. I wish you would have made this clearer, whether the work is school work or a jub work.

If he has not shown interest, or talks to you about other girls and how much he likes them, or does the same about boys, then don't risk it. He is not enamoured by you physically, and that's a barrier nobody can break down in a man. Money can, but the cat comes out of the bag eventually, and the amount has to be huge in the first place anyway, like your daddy would need to be a rubber tycoon or an American Steel King. Simply having an upper-middle class daddy and money, like daddy is an immigrant's son who is a doctor or a factory owner, will not buy a guy to marry a girl whose looks he don't like.

I like what Trouble said here. If you don't meet them at work, where do you meet a potential mate? You, OP, are young, you can go to clubs, but there you don't get to know anyone. Or you can go to your family reunions, where you know everyone, but unless you're from Kansas, you'd find that disgusting.

School. Work. Church. These are three places where you meet people and talk to them. And CAN get to know them. Church is the safest, unless you are religious, cuz Church is not a life-sustaining experience. If you don't work, you starve or become a social outcast. If your church folks turn on you, go to another church, and nobody knows more than necessary, and essentially the situation is the same, no harm done, meet the new g-d, same as the old g-d.

School is like work too, too much to risk.

So you exclude work and school, then you can only meet in church.

That is the very first reason I'm single. I hate religions, and I don't believe in g-d. These are different issues, not the same. G-d is a thing that does not need church, and one church's d-g can be hugely different from another church's d-g. It's like a Dobbermann Pincher and a Chihuahua. They are both d-gs, but a guy who likes the one, can't abide with the other.

I hate religions because there is no sensible religion. It's bad enough that they say g-d you must believe in, but to add insult to injury, they say a whole bunch of other necessarily impossible things and some gaping and screaming contradictions, which they insist you have to believe in. Some people believe, some people can pretend, and some can't stomach the bs that goes on in religious circles.

So this is why I am single. I don't work, I don't get educated, and I can't go to church.

What am I gonna do? Join a singles' site on the Web to find someone?? Hahahaha, hey, haha, you are kidding, right? haha, singles sites, hahaha, please stop, my sides are splitting, hahahaha!!!