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| Topic: Long distance friendships, what's to far? | |
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Honestly I dont think that distance is ever an issue if you have been talking to someone for a long time and like them. I always say go for it...... you just never know long distance relationships can be health think about it, you got to enjoy eachother on line and on the fone but still have your space when you need it. I think thats good for both people involved. And besides online you tend to connect more mentally so your falling inlove with the actual person not just what they look like :) hope that helps a bit :)
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Edited by
EquusDancer
on
Thu 04/21/11 07:56 AM
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A friendship can be all over the world, and for me usually includes emails and letters once a week or so. Lunch is just lunch, sitting and talking for a couple of hours.
A relationship can be whatever you want, though I'm not interested in anything more then an hour away, and with gas prices... maybe even less. Getting out and doing things together. For me, there's also the fact of do I really want to deal with city traffic, since most guys are up in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. I loathe that much traffic. I usually only go up to Dallas a couple of times a year when I take mom to her Multiple Sclerosis doctor's appointments. And she's good about scheduling them after 10AM, so we can miss rush hours. Basically, anytime I have to go up, it's always between the rush hours, and never at night. |
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I like the idea of meeting someone online,then the small talk through emailing, then if it clicks maybe meeting for lunch or a walk. But how far is too far? I have seen alot of post about couple that look to be in there mid to late 30's or even older meeting online then developing a relationship. I can be optimistic but, I chatted with someone who was listed a living within an hour and it was emailed to me that the distance may be too far for anything to develop,(she said). Is that a bad thing for people in there 20's. I know i'm not in any position to relocate but that doesn't mean i wouldn't travel for a couple hour drive(4) to go on a date with someone. I understand that younger people in my age group may not consider a long distance email friend someone they could potentually date. Maybe its to early to tell... What does anybody think about this, your opinions are appreciated! perhaps she is also unable to relocate at this time and does not want to invite the heartache or she thinks u just want to use her for sex (particularly since you have the attitude that u won't relocate to be with her) - it's not unusual for a man to drive a good distance thinking he's gonna get laid...most of us gals don;t see things that way |
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if you are friends with someone you met online and you go for lunch is it a date or just friends? if you end up getting closer to someone and you went out to lunch with them in the past wouldnt you consider the past lunches dating?....... thats what i mean with the relationship talk :) Like someone already said, friends are friends, but it sounds like there is more to this story then just friends from reading your post. One thing I have learned in life is not to lie to myself by saying what ever it is is one way, when it's actually the other. |
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For me, within 100 miles isn't too far. It is a drive I can make without getting worn out b4 I get there and close enough where I can drive back in the same day. To expand on this topic, when I think about meeting a person over an hour away, I feel the need to cram as many activities into that day and get the most out of it. How many and What kind of activities do you do? And how do you plan them if you aren't familiar with the area you are visiting? What if you are meeting someone for the first time and don't want to pressure them into "lets go hang out at your place"? I don't want to drive so far just for a quick lunch and then have to come all the way back, any suggestions?
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I'm just about to find out. I am in Oregon. She is on the east coast. with the help of friends with lots of frequent flier miles to spare, we are going to have our first date, this weekend. Wish me luck!
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Honestly I dont think that distance is ever an issue if you have been talking to someone for a long time and like them. I always say go for it...... you just never know long distance relationships can be health think about it, you got to enjoy eachother on line and on the fone but still have your space when you need it. I think thats good for both people involved. And besides online you tend to connect more mentally so your falling inlove with the actual person not just what they look like :) hope that helps a bit :) I tend to agree...online and the distance prevents u from hopping into bed and having to prematurely deal with those emotions/issues so by the time you make the hop you pretty well know who ur hopping with  but in the OPs case it sounds like the woman he was talking to wants more involvement early on - OR - doesn't want to be a "hit & run" |
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I'm just about to find out. I am in Oregon. She is on the east coast. with the help of friends with lots of frequent flier miles to spare, we are going to have our first date, this weekend. Wish me luck! good luck. I haven't been on here in quite awhile so I knew nothing of it! So wonderful for you. 
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if you are friends with someone you met online and you go for lunch is it a date or just friends? if you end up getting closer to someone and you went out to lunch with them in the past wouldnt you consider the past lunches dating?....... thats what i mean with the relationship talk :) Like someone already said, friends are friends, but it sounds like there is more to this story then just friends from reading your post. One thing I have learned in life is not to lie to myself by saying what ever it is is one way, when it's actually the other. but until the two of you have decided it's something other than friends what else can it be? Friends is not such a bad thing yanno the best marraiges or LTRs are best friends |
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if you are friends with someone you met online and you go for lunch is it a date or just friends? if you end up getting closer to someone and you went out to lunch with them in the past wouldnt you consider the past lunches dating?....... thats what i mean with the relationship talk :) Like someone already said, friends are friends, but it sounds like there is more to this story then just friends from reading your post. One thing I have learned in life is not to lie to myself by saying what ever it is is one way, when it's actually the other. but until the two of you have decided it's something other than friends what else can it be? Friends is not such a bad thing yanno the best marraiges or LTRs are best friends Friends are a good thing  I guess what I should of said was, don't expect more then what it is at that point if you know already.
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Honestly I dont think that distance is ever an issue if you have been talking to someone for a long time and like them. I always say go for it...... you just never know long distance relationships can be health think about it, you got to enjoy eachother on line and on the fone but still have your space when you need it. I think thats good for both people involved. And besides online you tend to connect more mentally so your falling inlove with the actual person not just what they look like :) hope that helps a bit :) I'd have to disagree, as when it comes to dating, I've found that distance is a huge deal. Long distance relationships just don't work for me. Friendships, sure. But relationships, no. |
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if you are friends with someone you met online and you go for lunch is it a date or just friends? if you end up getting closer to someone and you went out to lunch with them in the past wouldnt you consider the past lunches dating?....... thats what i mean with the relationship talk :) Like someone already said, friends are friends, but it sounds like there is more to this story then just friends from reading your post. One thing I have learned in life is not to lie to myself by saying what ever it is is one way, when it's actually the other. but until the two of you have decided it's something other than friends what else can it be? Friends is not such a bad thing yanno the best marraiges or LTRs are best friends Friends are a good thing I guess what I should of said was, don't expect more then what it is at that point if you know already. ummm still not sure I completely understand - my philosophy is that the mind reader stayed at home - can't really tell what the future will hold or what another is thinking, myself if ur saying not to make assumptions, I agree
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good luck. I haven't been on here in quite awhile so I knew nothing of it! So wonderful for you. This is the first I've mentioned of it. Thank you for the good wishes.
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good luck. I haven't been on here in quite awhile so I knew nothing of it! So wonderful for you. This is the first I've mentioned of it. Thank you for the good wishes. you are welcome - your earnestness must have shown through in a positive light for you! I know you;ve been put thru the ringer here on the threads
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Edited by
TheShadow
on
Thu 04/21/11 09:10 AM
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ummm still not sure I completely understand - my philosophy is that the mind reader stayed at home - can't really tell what the future will hold or what another is thinking, myself if ur saying not to make assumptions, I agree Ok that works lol. It's just interesting to see people think
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((((((Emily))))
 I guess it all boils down to what you really want in a realtionship. For myself personally I think An LDR could work because I don't want to be with someone 24/7. I would love it where sometimes he spends time at my place, sometimes I am at his place and sometimes not together at all. Where we could travel together ,have fun and also be apart in distance but not emotionally. Now the real problem is in finding someone who wants the same thing as I do.
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ummm still not sure I completely understand - my philosophy is that the mind reader stayed at home - can't really tell what the future will hold or what another is thinking, myself if ur saying not to make assumptions, I agree Ok that works lol. It's just interesting to see people think yes it is. and they do, think, I mean. some of us are better at it than others |
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I'm just about to find out. I am in Oregon. She is on the east coast. with the help of friends with lots of frequent flier miles to spare, we are going to have our first date, this weekend. Wish me luck! Whooaa! I wish everything turns out great for the two of you, Artlo! Wishing you the best of luck 
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I moved from San Diego to Kansas to hear the question "What the heck are you doing in Kansas?"
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Tnak you Axl. We'll see.
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