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| Topic: When is a relationship EXCLUSIVE..Do you cancel your account | |
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I have learned through my online dating experiences that if someone dates you online and they ask for your to be EXCLUSIVE they also should abide by the same rules. However, that is not what happened in my current situation. I am dating someone on here, he wanted an EXCLUSIVE relationship with me, I did what I normally do when I am in an EXCLUSIVE relationship, I diactivated my account once he made it clear he wanted to be EXCLUSIVE, he later diactivated his account but now, he has reactivated it, when I was informed by a friend about this, I went back to check and YES, his account was reactivated again, when I confronted him with this, he said he had no idea and that he didn't know anything about it. I decided since he "didn't know anything about it" , he needed to go back and diactivate his account again. He said he would as soon as he got home, yet five hours later I went to check and his account is still active. Sounds to me like he is not serious about anything and he just wants to play games. Correct me if I am wrong, but fair is fair..so I will not deactivate my account as long as he doesn't diactivate his. What do you think? Should you deactivate your account when your relationship becomes EXCLUSIVE and HE/SHE asks that you diactivate your account? Would you expect HE/SHE to do the same?
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Edited by
Kimoboy
on
Sun 12/11/11 11:43 PM
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What's more disturbing is that he is obviously playing clueless and lying about it to you.
For me, that would be the real issue. Who cares whether your account is active or deactivated if someone cant just be straight with you. But then, my standards are pretty uncompromising on this subject; and that's probably why I'm single now, lol. |
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Edited by
eileena9
on
Mon 12/12/11 12:30 AM
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Hi... I joined this site back in April of 07 and by June, TheCaptain and I were exclusive. We stayed on here because we had so much fun meeting people and joking around BUT we made it well known we were a couple. He lives in Idaho and I am on Long Island, New York. After meeting in person a few times, we KNEW there was no other looking for either of us.
By March of '08, he came out and surprised me at my job, got down on one knee in front of my co-workers and proposed! We are still together and still on the site that has forever changed our lives. We stay to let people know that this places works, if you are will to work at a relationship. We trust each other and understand that everything typed to someone else is a joke which we STRESS beforehand to the recipient. Anyone emails us, we thank them for stopping by but friendship is all they are getting, NOTHING more. It takes a lot of trust in the other person, if you want to stay together. Good luck. 
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It is my opinion that if you are in a relationship, wether it be eclusive or not you should still beable to enjoy the fun that you can have on here. It is a matter of trust. But. Once it does become exclusive. Both should make it clear to everybody that you are now dating someone, and that you are NOT single any more. And that you are ONLY interested in friendship. And change your profile to point out the fact that you are in a relationship. That is the fair way to handle it. But, like I said. Thats just my opinion.
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I've read your opening post over and over again. And here is what I'm getting out of it:
The real issue you here is that you're being lied to. The 'account deactivation issue' is just the setting - the backdrop. If it wasn't this, the dishonesty would and will just rear its ugly head somewhere else. In a relationship, the other person's conscience is your only protection. |
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i think you should be able to stay in contact with the friends you both meet here.But this dude sounds like a lying Douche bag .Noone else can run your account unless they have his info to sign in so chances are he is telling a fake story to throw you off of him talking to other chicks that clearly most likely won't be the just friends.My advice would be dump him find a better man and one that is honest.
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My mate and I have been exclusive,
here on Mingle2, for about a year and a half. We act independently of each other. So as not to sicken the natives :-) We did not suddently develop a joint personality, or make new rules to govern our actions. Total and complete trust covers all. |
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Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants, or he's a player
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When you deactivated your account, did you discuss it with you guy first? After you deactivated your account, did you ask him to do the same?
What I am reading "into" you OP is the idea or desire to deactivate accounts was yours, not his.. You guys have a communication problem... |
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I think you both should close your accounts why would you need them any more if you have found each other?.
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Understanding that Mingle is a "social" networking site I would think each relationship that begins here would be unique to each couple...Staying or leaving.....When you participate in forums, you become part of a community and you develop friendships with men and women, most of them are single, but not all. Because of this, entering into an exclusive relationship with someone your meet here would not, in itself, be a reason to deactivate. When you commit to someone in the real world, you do not give up your single friends...
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I think you both should close your accounts why would you need them any more if you have found each other?. Many use the forums as a social place, so if they were involved in the forums before dating someone, I can see wanting to stay involved in the forums. As long as they're being honest, I don't see a problem with that. |
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I think you both should close your accounts why would you need them any more if you have found each other?. Many use the forums as a social place, so if they were involved in the forums before dating someone, I can see wanting to stay involved in the forums. As long as they're being honest, I don't see a problem with that. Exactly ...  
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if you are here just for dating, then you should both close your accounts when being "exclusive".
if he has his account re-opened, he MAY be keeping his avenues open. (player). social networking is always an avenue for talking with people everywhere, and a great way to keep in touch with friends. maybe you need to discuss this with your "exclusive" partner. he may just be online to keep in contact with other people. regardless, sounds like there is a trust issue... just my opinion. |
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if you are here just for dating, then you should both close your accounts when being "exclusive". if he has his account re-opened, he MAY be keeping his avenues open. (player). social networking is always an avenue for talking with people everywhere, and a great way to keep in touch with friends. maybe you need to discuss this with your "exclusive" partner. he may just be online to keep in contact with other people. regardless, sounds like there is a trust issue... just my opinion. Trust and communication issues.... |
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I think you both should close your accounts why would you need them any more if you have found each other?. Many use the forums as a social place, so if they were involved in the forums before dating someone, I can see wanting to stay involved in the forums. As long as they're being honest, I don't see a problem with that. Humm not only am I a member on this site but much more as well.. I have been in a relationship for the last 3 months. Sorry to say I did not meet him on Mingle2 nor any site. But I have meet several members from this site as friends. I enjoy logging in to chat with those I consider a friend. If for some reason my partner can not deal with that then there are trust issues on his part. Without trust one has nothing within a relationship... I would not stop talking to my friends or family in real life so why should I give up friends online??? |
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Did you discuss how Mingle was going to be handled once you decided to become exclusive?
There are people on here that are couples and still have open accounts. |
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I think you both should close your accounts why would you need them any more if you have found each other?. Many use the forums as a social place, so if they were involved in the forums before dating someone, I can see wanting to stay involved in the forums. As long as they're being honest, I don't see a problem with that. Humm not only am I a member on this site but much more as well.. I have been in a relationship for the last 3 months. Sorry to say I did not meet him on Mingle2 nor any site. But I have meet several members from this site as friends. I enjoy logging in to chat with those I consider a friend. If for some reason my partner can not deal with that then there are trust issues on his part. Without trust one has nothing within a relationship... I would not stop talking to my friends or family in real life so why should I give up friends online??? I totally agree with that. I think the majority of the 'regulars' know that I've been in a relationship for quite a while with somebody on here, but my profile says that I'm here for friends only. We've both been here for years and are constants in the forums. Mingle is like a 2nd family and just because we're a 'couple', it doesn't mean we should ditch 'family'. However, her profile (on other sites as well) says 'looking'. Yes, I have brought that up quite a few times.... While I sorta understand why her statuses are set to 'looking', I don't agree with it. But, as Txs said, it all comes down to trust. |
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I have learned through my online dating experiences that if someone dates you online and they ask for your to be EXCLUSIVE they also should abide by the same rules. However, that is not what happened in my current situation. I am dating someone on here, he wanted an EXCLUSIVE relationship with me, I did what I normally do when I am in an EXCLUSIVE relationship, I diactivated my account once he made it clear he wanted to be EXCLUSIVE, he later diactivated his account but now, he has reactivated it, when I was informed by a friend about this, I went back to check and YES, his account was reactivated again, when I confronted him with this, he said he had no idea and that he didn't know anything about it. I decided since he "didn't know anything about it" , he needed to go back and diactivate his account again. He said he would as soon as he got home, yet five hours later I went to check and his account is still active. Sounds to me like he is not serious about anything and he just wants to play games. Correct me if I am wrong, but fair is fair..so I will not deactivate my account as long as he doesn't diactivate his. What do you think? Should you deactivate your account when your relationship becomes EXCLUSIVE and HE/SHE asks that you diactivate your account? Would you expect HE/SHE to do the same? You both deciding for deactivation He reactivating account you knowing this by your friend  He denying reactivation You rechecking the account within five hours Sounds you both don't have enough faith in each other from THE BEGINNING. You/He being here AFTER TOO can't be a cause for worry, but your mutual agreement,his reactivation,you getting to know about his reactivation(somehow),his denial & the way you are in hurry of his deactivation again are certainly causes for worry. |
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I think you both should close your accounts why would you need them any more if you have found each other?. Many use the forums as a social place, so if they were involved in the forums before dating someone, I can see wanting to stay involved in the forums. As long as they're being honest, I don't see a problem with that. I agree 100% with singme. I do not believe that being exclusive means you have to shut off your life from other people. If you are honest with each other then there is no harm. Could just change your profile around a bit and continue being social. If this isn't possible..then there may already be problems with trust. 
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