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| Topic: met an older woman and not sure how to proceed | |
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Recently I met an older woman on a cruise (I'm 25 shes 37), and we ended up spending the last 3 nights together. I had assumed that we would never talk again, though we did exchange numbers and found out we live pretty close to one another.
On the first night she had told me that she hadn't been intimate in about a year and I embarrassingly told her it has been about 5 years for me. I also told her that was because I am really shy and have been out of the dating game since a bad breakup and have never really recovered. I also told he I still live with my parents and I'm in between jobs so I'm not exactly relationship material or anything. Since the cruise ended she actually texted me a couple days after which surprised me she told me she had been thinking of me. After a handful of casual texts she stopped responding. From the signals I got I was pretty sure she wanted some sort of no strings attached kind of physical relationship which I would have been fine with (though it was never discussed). A) I tend to get emotionally attached somewhat easily after being intimate so would it be dumb for me to even pursue anything(even though I'd really enjoy it)? B) Am I just having wishful thinking and nothing will probably come out of this? C) The last two texts have been by me I probably should wait for a response before trying another I assume... Sorry for the novel... and I'd appreciate any advice. |
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Sorry I think this was just a vacation thing and you probably want to let it go.
Being on a cruise is kind of off the grid of real life and what we would pick in the day to day so what you saw could be way away from what you would get in a relationship. That is a pretty substantial age difference and given your situation, as you explain it, kind of sounds like you were a plaything to an emotional vampire. I would not recomend doing it again. She might keep you around for when it serves her needs but unlikely that she really cares about you or she would not have only sort of-kind of kept in touch with someone that attempted intimacy and I am not just talking about sex. Last, and sorry got to do it, if you were intimate with this person and this is not just a fantasy post go see the doc and make sure this woman did not give you the gift that keeps on giving. Older women who show no more confidence in their ability to find some one peer approriate and throw down with strangers don't impress me as a good risk for being disease free. Since a couple of the common problems don't show up immediately one check up will not make you home free. Be straight with your doc and make sure you nip any vacation disasters in the bud. And be smarter next time. This doesn't sound like it really turned out to help you make your life feel better. Liveing and learning is not a sucess only journey. Better luck/ Good luck in the future. |
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Edited by
Kimoboy
on
Wed 06/27/12 12:58 PM
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If you have already texted her twice...the ball is in her court...if she is interested in seeing you again or pursuing anything further, she will contact you if she is interested. If she doesnt...well, then you have your answer...
On the other hand...do you actually KNOW what you want from this woman, except the fact that you spent three nights having sex with her that made you feel good about yourself and somewhat attached? Sounds like you were just looking to get your needs met and did. Would any further involvement with her be because you want to create something special or only because the clock is telling you it is once again time to "get those need met?" On some level, you might really want to consider the age difference in terms of what you and she can/cannot offer each other and whether or not any of that is really practical or just fantasy. Or, you might just not want to be bothered by having to take responsibility for any of your emotions and just go for the sex.. and be confused later again... |
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Edited by
42BlackBBW
on
Wed 06/27/12 01:08 PM
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Not that I’m an authority on these types of things but the unanswered texts speak for themselves I’m afraid. She may contact you again or she may not.
Personally, if it were me, I’d leave things alone and get on with things..it’s not like you haven’t tried to contact her, you have. You’ve done all you can from your end, so move on. |
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Not that I’m an authority on these types of things but the unanswered texts speak for themselves I’m afraid. She may contact you again or she may not. Personally, if it were me, I’d leave things alone and get on with things..it’s not like you haven’t tried to contact her, you have. You’ve done all you can from your end, so move on. I agree. Sometimes you do what you can do, and you have to leave it up to the other person. Move on so you can get some peace. |
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Sorry I think this was just a vacation thing and you probably want to let it go. Being on a cruise is kind of off the grid of real life and what we would pick in the day to day so what you saw could be way away from what you would get in a relationship. That is a pretty substantial age difference and given your situation, as you explain it, kind of sounds like you were a plaything to an emotional vampire. I would not recomend doing it again. She might keep you around for when it serves her needs but unlikely that she really cares about you or she would not have only sort of-kind of kept in touch with someone that attempted intimacy and I am not just talking about sex. Last, and sorry got to do it, if you were intimate with this person and this is not just a fantasy post go see the doc and make sure this woman did not give you the gift that keeps on giving. Older women who show no more confidence in their ability to find some one peer approriate and throw down with strangers don't impress me as a good risk for being disease free. Since a couple of the common problems don't show up immediately one check up will not make you home free. Be straight with your doc and make sure you nip any vacation disasters in the bud. And be smarter next time. This doesn't sound like it really turned out to help you make your life feel better. Liveing and learning is not a sucess only journey. Better luck/ Good luck in the future. Wow, quite a bit of hostility toward the "older woman" there. Emotional vampire, no confidence in her ability, et cetera. Let's allow for the possibility that the woman was sincere at the time and has just changed her mind. In fact, that could have happened to anyone regardless of their age. |
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Age is just a number. It is the maturity that matters. You need to be straight up with her and tell her you want to take it further. Do you want to live your life always wondering 'what if.' There are worse things than rejection should she say 'no.' :-)
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Edited by
s1owhand
on
Thu 06/28/12 06:09 AM
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If she texts you back, reply
"Hey Sexy, ROWR"   |
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Sorry I think this was just a vacation thing and you probably want to let it go. Being on a cruise is kind of off the grid of real life and what we would pick in the day to day so what you saw could be way away from what you would get in a relationship. That is a pretty substantial age difference and given your situation, as you explain it, kind of sounds like you were a plaything to an emotional vampire. I would not recomend doing it again. She might keep you around for when it serves her needs but unlikely that she really cares about you or she would not have only sort of-kind of kept in touch with someone that attempted intimacy and I am not just talking about sex. Last, and sorry got to do it, if you were intimate with this person and this is not just a fantasy post go see the doc and make sure this woman did not give you the gift that keeps on giving. Older women who show no more confidence in their ability to find some one peer approriate and throw down with strangers don't impress me as a good risk for being disease free. Since a couple of the common problems don't show up immediately one check up will not make you home free. Be straight with your doc and make sure you nip any vacation disasters in the bud. And be smarter next time. This doesn't sound like it really turned out to help you make your life feel better. Liveing and learning is not a sucess only journey. Better luck/ Good luck in the future. Wow, quite a bit of hostility toward the "older woman" there. Emotional vampire, no confidence in her ability, et cetera. Let's allow for the possibility that the woman was sincere at the time and has just changed her mind. In fact, that could have happened to anyone regardless of their age. I didn't see the hostility, I just saw someone stating her opinion. I don't really think that the age difference had anything to do with it in this case. |
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Sorry I think this was just a vacation thing and you probably want to let it go. Being on a cruise is kind of off the grid of real life and what we would pick in the day to day so what you saw could be way away from what you would get in a relationship. That is a pretty substantial age difference and given your situation, as you explain it, kind of sounds like you were a plaything to an emotional vampire. I would not recomend doing it again. She might keep you around for when it serves her needs but unlikely that she really cares about you or she would not have only sort of-kind of kept in touch with someone that attempted intimacy and I am not just talking about sex. Last, and sorry got to do it, if you were intimate with this person and this is not just a fantasy post go see the doc and make sure this woman did not give you the gift that keeps on giving. Older women who show no more confidence in their ability to find some one peer approriate and throw down with strangers don't impress me as a good risk for being disease free. Since a couple of the common problems don't show up immediately one check up will not make you home free. Be straight with your doc and make sure you nip any vacation disasters in the bud. And be smarter next time. This doesn't sound like it really turned out to help you make your life feel better. Liveing and learning is not a sucess only journey. Better luck/ Good luck in the future. Wow, quite a bit of hostility toward the "older woman" there. Emotional vampire, no confidence in her ability, et cetera. Let's allow for the possibility that the woman was sincere at the time and has just changed her mind. In fact, that could have happened to anyone regardless of their age. I didn't see the hostility, I just saw someone stating her opinion. I don't really think that the age difference had anything to do with it in this case. Agrees with Blue...she is very smart. 
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Considering we dont know this woman or her motivations, I dont believe any of us can make an accurate call on this situation. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do or not to do :-)
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Edited by
s1owhand
on
Thu 06/28/12 04:19 PM
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Book another cruise for both of you and text her an invitation.
Have an agent hold 1 ticket for her for 1 week and if she doesn't pick up her ticket and confirm with you then cancel the reservation or offer it to the first mingle2 lady who is interested in accompanying you?
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That is quite gutsy, but romantic.
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Considering we dont know this woman or her motivations, I dont believe any of us can make an accurate call on this situation. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do or not to do :-) Exactly, and we really don't know anything about the OP outside of his post. |
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Wait for her text see how it goes,ive dated younger guys and i usually get the opposite im just ignored after few dates they are the emotional vampires where ive wanted to start a relationship,
what signals did she give out it was just a fling?if she doesnt answer your text just assume it was a nice holiday romance.youve told her you want to see her again now its up to her.i hope the younger guys ive dated or any guys ive dated dont think i give out signals, they were my plaything as they werent |
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She's 12 years older than you. You got taken advantage of...High Five 
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one last text wont hurt..but this time it should sound like an ultimatum...then set a limited waiting time...if there's no reply, then time for you to forget the whole affair..at least you have this beautiful,romantic chapter to reminisce in the future...keep loving!
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I'd agree with the one last text ^^^
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You actually sound like you don't really know IF you want to hear from her? Maybe you should just think of it as a romance for 3 days and remember how much fun you had? If she doesn't live to far from you, and you honestly want to get together...then ask her out for a real date. Stop texting her and call her and tell her that you want to date her.
Why do people text any ways? It is like we text instead of talking...no one can truly tell how anyone feels over a text message. GRRRR on text messages...pick up the phone and call!!!! |
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Be an adult. Call her up. Ask her, "Do you want to get together?".
Listen carefully. |
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