Topic: Understanding men...
redhead44613's photo
Sun 02/09/14 09:02 PM
Edited by redhead44613 on Sun 02/09/14 09:04 PM
I have been dating an amazing man for 8 months. We get along very well, we enjoy spending time together. I am falling for him an he knows how I feel about him and our relationship. I want to become a couple. I asked him about becoming more an he said we don't see each other enough which I agree. We live an hour away from each other an work opposite shifts right now but he is going back to days in a few weeks. He is truly an amazing man an is everything I have been looking for.

We meet online an dated briefly before but it didn't work so we stayed friends. In May I expressed how I felt towards him an he suggested we should date again. I don't wanna push him away or lose him. He understands me an can deal with my crazy moods an personality.

My question I guess is am I wasting time? What should I do?

Thank you everyone!

mightymoe's photo
Sun 02/09/14 09:05 PM
you'll never know unless you try...

open the box and see if the cat is alive...

no photo
Sun 02/09/14 09:10 PM
Edited by 2KidsMom on Sun 02/09/14 09:21 PM
Hiiii(((Red)))flowerforyou


Take it slow and easy..no need to rush..Jmo.
Basque in the moments.


If he understands you, and gives you what you need
~and you can be yourself.well....it's sounds nothing less than perfect:heart: flowerforyou

Of course...Jmo.

metalwing's photo
Sun 02/09/14 10:10 PM
Nothing ventured ... nothing gained.

Give it a shot.

Duttoneer's photo
Mon 02/10/14 08:30 AM
Nice to hear of people finding happiness. Dating for 8 months is quite a long time, but I would keep things just as they are for awhile yet, no need to push or rush in to anything more right now, you are not wasting your time in my opinion, you are giving it more time to develop.

redhead44613's photo
Mon 02/10/14 01:06 PM
Thank you everyone for the tips. Guess I should just try to be patient an see where we go. I'm very impatient Lol.

no photo
Mon 02/10/14 01:08 PM
Who dares wins

larsson71's photo
Mon 02/10/14 01:21 PM

I have been dating an amazing man for 8 months. We get along very well, we enjoy spending time together. I am falling for him an he knows how I feel about him and our relationship. I want to become a couple. I asked him about becoming more an he said we don't see each other enough which I agree. We live an hour away from each other an work opposite shifts right now but he is going back to days in a few weeks. He is truly an amazing man an is everything I have been looking for.

We meet online an dated briefly before but it didn't work so we stayed friends. In May I expressed how I felt towards him an he suggested we should date again. I don't wanna push him away or lose him. He understands me an can deal with my crazy moods an personality.

My question I guess is am I wasting time? What should I do?

Thank you everyone!
You answered your own question, when you said - ' He truly is an amazing man and is everything I have been looking for! ' If you let this man go this time, I think you'll live to regret it? You have a good man by your own admission? Don't push him away, or make rash decisions? Instead, take the chance, let yourself go and enjoy your relationship? Cos if you don't he'll end up with some other woman that does appreciate him 100%. I wish you all the best, ok?

no photo
Mon 02/10/14 02:04 PM

I have been dating an amazing man for 8 months. ...I want to become a couple.


You guys have been dating for 8 months, but you aren't a couple? Am I too old to get the lingo, because I'm not sure what you are now?

no photo
Mon 02/10/14 02:35 PM


I have been dating an amazing man for 8 months. ...I want to become a couple.


You guys have been dating for 8 months, but you aren't a couple? Am I too old to get the lingo, because I'm not sure what you are now?


Yeah, that was my thought too, after 8 months, if a guy doesn't consider us a couple, we're no longer dating.

kessel009's photo
Mon 02/10/14 02:41 PM
trust me if u guys dnt create time for each other its gonna take along time for d relationship to blossom

Beachfarmer's photo
Mon 02/10/14 02:57 PM
Go!

no photo
Mon 02/10/14 03:43 PM

Thank you everyone for the tips. Guess I should just try to be patient an see where we go. I'm very impatient Lol.


I would say that you should just let things evolve. Keep seeing him but do not close the door on others who may want to date you. I assume you 2 do not have a monogamous commitment yet. In that case with the situation you describe I would continue to date others as well as him

no photo
Mon 02/10/14 07:08 PM


Thank you everyone for the tips. Guess I should just try to be patient an see where we go. I'm very impatient Lol.


I would say that you should just let things evolve. Keep seeing him but do not close the door on others who may want to date you. I assume you 2 do not have a monogamous commitment yet. In that case with the situation you describe I would continue to date others as well as him


Good advice as well.drinker

hellsboy's photo
Mon 02/10/14 07:19 PM


Thank you everyone for the tips. Guess I should just try to be patient an see where we go. I'm very impatient Lol.


I would say that you should just let things evolve. Keep seeing him but do not close the door on others who may want to date you. I assume you 2 do not have a monogamous commitment yet. In that case with the situation you describe I would continue to date others as well as him


Well said... would like to have grapes from hell??

PacificStar48's photo
Mon 02/10/14 10:55 PM
Sure glad to hear you, a person I would REALLY like to find true happiness in her life, has a really nice person in her life. Wonderful, wonderful news indeed. Hope you are not over looking that victory.

Sounds like this person sees the value for you in a long term stable considerate relationship. If he is commuting an hour to see you over eight months you matter to this person. If he is not pushing at least gently for you to move things forward from what they are my experience tells me a couple of things.

If you are having sex with him or not would give me a better idea the level of his committment. Because what guy would not find a cute as a button smart gal like you hard to resist and keep you on the back burner even if he wasn't in love with you; but now days getting laid is not that hard to accomplish depending on his over all factors.

One thing is he probably has some life experience that is telling him a few things. Starting with, we all hope a person who has not always had it so easy might need to move slowly, savoring the true small joys and self confidence that builds over really mastering your own life independently.

Success breeds success and MAYBE he wants you (or himself) to get a little career momentum going, or financial stability, make more quality friends, or even family issues resolved; not knowing him can't really guess but maybe if you really can't figure out what is hanging up this relationship up an honest heart to heart would.

You are still young so I don't see any great biological clock ticking so I don't see a need to rush into couple-dom.

I know you are going to hate hearing this, I am not great at waiting for anything myself, but eight months is kind of a blink of an eye at my age and when you get a little older it will seem wiser to not change what is working for something you have plenty of time to bring in your life weather it is this person or maybe someone wonderful you just have not met yet.

One thing I have learned is when someone is telling you something that would be pretty clear might be hard for you to hear it is worth listening to. And sounds like he is telling you he is not into you the same way you are into him.

Is that really a bad, terrible, ruin your life news? I would hope not. Sounds like the friendship is there and isn't going anywhere.

The good news is where a true friendship exists sometimes love does spark. It is at least remotely possible if you are patient and don't box this guy into saying something that has not kicked in or worse that you really don't want to hear he is cutting off the relationship you might not want to get your cart ahead of the horse.

Or it might mean that he is still a little nervous about the elephant in the room that you must learn to master; your health issues. Granted sounds like things are improving but maybe he is waiting to see if you get a track record under your belt of being in full control and thriving.

Most people will tell anyone that dates a person who does not have a take charge do what has to be done attitude about any chronic health issue have a very low chance at surviving long term. That may or not apply to you but it might be worth some personal introspection as to how much have you done to be your best self, be prepared to cope with the stresses that might come up in the future if you do become a couple, most likely eventually have a family or any of the other things that going along with being a couple.

Since I am pretty sure being a couple means actually living together I can't under state how difficult it can be to live with someone. It is WAY more difficult that whatever annoyance you have being non-cohabitateng friends.

Will keep you in prayers and wishes for the best outcome.


RainbowTrout's photo
Mon 02/10/14 11:04 PM
Some relationships break up before six months. Kudos on the eight months. After one room mate left the other house mate one stayed. I am having better luck with the house mate than the room mate. Maybe because we have always been good friends and don't want to mess that up.:smile:

NkemjikaX's photo
Sat 02/15/14 02:54 PM
Be patient with or you will chase him away

indignus's photo
Sat 02/15/14 11:55 PM
Edited by indignus on Sat 02/15/14 11:55 PM
How could spending your time with a good friend who you find amazing be a waste of time, and why isn't it enough?