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Topic: Older or younger?
allie0408 Joined Fri 01/31/14 Posts: 129	Mon 02/17/14 10:26 PM
Since I got divorced I have been meeting either guys on their 20's or on their 50's as a general rule. I have met a few that are on their 30's as well but not that many. I have always wondered when young is too young and old is too old.

nick80nick Joined Wed 05/22/13 Posts: 8	Mon 02/17/14 10:30 PM
That is a damn good question!

vanaheim Joined Sun 12/29/13 Posts: 531	Mon 02/17/14 10:33 PM
You make it sound like it's up to you who gets attracted. It is up to you who you like, but you don't want it on a list of requisition. It just doesn't work those ways, the common failing ways. You could just try being a friendly, decent person and if you like someone do what you would like and if you don't do what you would like and in the meantime do what you would like... but then you'd never be able to blame anyone else when things went wrong? shrug

alexfon68 Joined Sat 02/15/14 Posts: 234	Tue 02/18/14 04:53 AM
You will know what attracts you, be careful of overanalyzing. Use your instincts, imagination and have fun. Sometimes we put labels on things unnecessarily. Pay attention to how someone expresses themselves. That is a start. The bottom line, that question can only be answered by you.

dcastelmissy Joined Thu 08/01/13 Posts: 39633	Tue 02/18/14 05:00 AM
You will know what attracts you, be careful of overanalyzing. Use your instincts, imagination and have fun. Sometimes we put labels on things unnecessarily. Pay attention to how someone expresses themselves. That is a start. The bottom line, that question can only be answered by you. Paying attention to how someone expresses themselves is important and a start, yes; however, studying their character will determine whether they just have a way with words or have any substance to them whatsoever. There are many who use words very impressively, but show major character flaws. JMHO

alexfon68 Joined Sat 02/15/14 Posts: 234	Tue 02/18/14 05:54 AM Edited by alexfon68 on Tue 02/18/14 05:56 AM
You will know what attracts you, be careful of overanalyzing. Use your instincts, imagination and have fun. Sometimes we put labels on things unnecessarily. Pay attention to how someone expresses themselves. That is a start. The bottom line, that question can only be answered by you. Paying attention to how someone expresses themselves is important and a start, yes; however, studying their character will determine whether they just have a way with words or have any substance to them whatsoever. There are many who use words very impressively, but show major character flaws. JMHO I agree with you but in my opinion, individuals who have well thought out replies reveal those flaws faster than posters who use one sentence answers with cartoon characters dancing around them. The short answer replies could reveal two things, lack of time available spendt on forums or that person replies to a mass number of topics. To each his own. If you are pursuing a relationship on sites like this, one must be careful of short answers being overused. If you ask "What is your favorite color" that is given by a short answer. If you start asking questions that may require effort to come with a reply, and constantly get short answers, that tells me you are chatting because you are bored and/or you are chatting with many other individuals. It is not a perfect science, my last relationship was with a woman who was exquisite at verbal communication but had trouble expressing herself in writing. On a dating site, I may have never met her. I met her in the outside world, where I got to see body language and her intelligence first hand. You have to use the tools available when being on-line, but is is limiting and I am not a fan of mass production. Expressing yourself is vital in my opinion. To each their own. In closing, if a person has major character flaws, I want to find that early, so no more time is wasted. The more they respond, better chance to catch those flaws. At the same token, you can catch their strengths earlier too. P.S. I do wish there was a spell checker available.

dcastelmissy Joined Thu 08/01/13 Posts: 39633	Tue 02/18/14 05:59 AM
You will know what attracts you, be careful of overanalyzing. Use your instincts, imagination and have fun. Sometimes we put labels on things unnecessarily. Pay attention to how someone expresses themselves. That is a start. The bottom line, that question can only be answered by you. Paying attention to how someone expresses themselves is important and a start, yes; however, studying their character will determine whether they just have a way with words or have any substance to them whatsoever. There are many who use words very impressively, but show major character flaws. JMHO I agree with you but in my opinion, individuals who have well thought out replies reveal those flaws faster than posters who use one sentence answers with cartoon characters dancing around them. The short answer replies could reveal two things, lack of time available spendt on forums or that person replies to a mass number of topics. To each his own. If you are pursuing a relationship on sites like this, one must be careful of short answers being overused. If you ask "What is your favorite color" that is given by a short answer. If you start asking questions that may require effort to come with a reply, and constantly get short answers, that tells me you are chatting because you are bored and/or you are chatting with many other individuals. It is not a perfect science, my last relationship was with a woman who was exquisite at verbal communication but had trouble expressing herself in writing. On a dating site, I may have never met her. I met her in the outside world, where I got to see body language and her intelligence first hand. You have to use the tools available when being on-line, but is is limiting and I am not a fan of mass production. Expressing yourself is vital in my opinion. To each their own. In closing, if a person has major character flaws, I want to find that early, so no more time is wasted. The more they respond, better chance to catch those flaws. At the same token, you can catch their strengths earlier too. P.S. I do wish there was a spell checker available. Well I can pretty much agree with everything you've said here. I have heard some people with the gift of words show who they really are by their reactions and the way they treat people on the forums and I avoid these at all costs. Then, there are some who may not be able to express themselves as eloquently but who you appreciate for their hearts and personalities. I guess it truly can go either way, just depends on the individuals, for sure.

mr_mr_mr Joined Sat 02/15/14 Posts: 135	Tue 02/18/14 06:02 AM
i tend to go for a few years either side of my own age, neither of which is more important than the other. some young people can be quite old in how they act and often older people can tend to act younger from realising how comical life as a whole is it's all about balance - what do you want, and what would benefit you. there's no point going on the same journey all the time so having a set 'type' of person seems rather pointless in terms of progressing as an individual the more you broaden your horizons the more enjoyment you will find in others, thus having more fulfilling experiences as a whole rather than searching for something in particular and never being able to find it

2KidsMom Joined Tue 09/30/08 Posts: 58206	Tue 02/18/14 06:10 AM
You will know what attracts you, be careful of overanalyzing. Use your instincts, imagination and have fun. Sometimes we put labels on things unnecessarily. Pay attention to how someone expresses themselves. That is a start. The bottom line, that question can only be answered by you. Paying attention to how someone expresses themselves is important and a start, yes; however, studying their character will determine whether they just have a way with words or have any substance to them whatsoever. There are many who use words very impressively, but show major character flaws. JMHO I agree with you but in my opinion, individuals who have well thought out replies reveal those flaws faster than posters who use one sentence answers with cartoon characters dancing around them. The short answer replies could reveal two things, lack of time available spendt on forums or that person replies to a mass number of topics. To each his own. If you are pursuing a relationship on sites like this, one must be careful of short answers being overused. If you ask "What is your favorite color" that is given by a short answer. If you start asking questions that may require effort to come with a reply, and constantly get short answers, that tells me you are chatting because you are bored and/or you are chatting with many other individuals. It is not a perfect science, my last relationship was with a woman who was exquisite at verbal communication but had trouble expressing herself in writing. On a dating site, I may have never met her. I met her in the outside world, where I got to see body language and her intelligence first hand. You have to use the tools available when being on-line, but is is limiting and I am not a fan of mass production. Expressing yourself is vital in my opinion. To each their own. In closing, if a person has major character flaws, I want to find that early, so no more time is wasted. The more they respond, better chance to catch those flaws. At the same token, you can catch their strengths earlier too. P.S. I do wish there was a spell checker available. Well I can pretty much agree with everything you've said here. I have heard some people with the gift of words show who they really are by their reactions and the way they treat people on the forums and I avoid these at all costs. Then, there are some who may not be able to express themselves as eloquently but who you appreciate for their hearts and personalities. I guess it truly can go either way, just depends on the individuals, for sure. Awwwww.. Thanks (((( Missy))))

dcastelmissy Joined Thu 08/01/13 Posts: 39633	Tue 02/18/14 06:13 AM
You will know what attracts you, be careful of overanalyzing. Use your instincts, imagination and have fun. Sometimes we put labels on things unnecessarily. Pay attention to how someone expresses themselves. That is a start. The bottom line, that question can only be answered by you. Paying attention to how someone expresses themselves is important and a start, yes; however, studying their character will determine whether they just have a way with words or have any substance to them whatsoever. There are many who use words very impressively, but show major character flaws. JMHO I agree with you but in my opinion, individuals who have well thought out replies reveal those flaws faster than posters who use one sentence answers with cartoon characters dancing around them. The short answer replies could reveal two things, lack of time available spendt on forums or that person replies to a mass number of topics. To each his own. If you are pursuing a relationship on sites like this, one must be careful of short answers being overused. If you ask "What is your favorite color" that is given by a short answer. If you start asking questions that may require effort to come with a reply, and constantly get short answers, that tells me you are chatting because you are bored and/or you are chatting with many other individuals. It is not a perfect science, my last relationship was with a woman who was exquisite at verbal communication but had trouble expressing herself in writing. On a dating site, I may have never met her. I met her in the outside world, where I got to see body language and her intelligence first hand. You have to use the tools available when being on-line, but is is limiting and I am not a fan of mass production. Expressing yourself is vital in my opinion. To each their own. In closing, if a person has major character flaws, I want to find that early, so no more time is wasted. The more they respond, better chance to catch those flaws. At the same token, you can catch their strengths earlier too. P.S. I do wish there was a spell checker available. Well I can pretty much agree with everything you've said here. I have heard some people with the gift of words show who they really are by their reactions and the way they treat people on the forums and I avoid these at all costs. Then, there are some who may not be able to express themselves as eloquently but who you appreciate for their hearts and personalities. I guess it truly can go either way, just depends on the individuals, for sure. Awwwww.. Thanks (((( Missy))))

alexfon68 Joined Sat 02/15/14 Posts: 234	Tue 02/18/14 06:45 AM
Then, there are some who may not be able to express themselves as eloquently but who you appreciate for their hearts and personalities. I would imagine, you would have to be on this site for an extended period of time to establish relationships and know who they are, then short answers are irrelevant because you have established a friendship with such individuals. The forum provides a different dynamic to an online dating site because it can provide room to establish friendships, where the goal on the other dating sites is meet someone and get out of there. Everything is in the eye of the beholder.

dcastelmissy Joined Thu 08/01/13 Posts: 39633	Tue 02/18/14 06:46 AM
Then, there are some who may not be able to express themselves as eloquently but who you appreciate for their hearts and personalities. I would imagine, you would have to be on this site for an extended period of time to establish relationships and know who they are, then short answers are irrelevant because you have established a friendship with such individuals. The forum provides a different dynamic to an online dating site because it can provide room to establish friendships, where the goal on the other dating sites is meet someone and get out of there. Everything is in the eye of the beholder. Absolutely correct...EVERYTHING is in the eyes of the beholder!

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Tue 02/18/14 06:47 AM
trust your feelings. When you feel that the age difference exceeds your comfort level is a clue. Also if you have to ask that question. If it's right you will know it.

graywolf55 Joined Wed 09/19/12 Posts: 1259	Tue 02/18/14 07:12 AM
My Daughter started this site for me since i am not good with a "computer"! Since being here i thought "it was a waste of time" being here! Now i've been on here for almost 2 years and "i love it!" Being here it started "of course"with the younger women "Scammers" and approached my Daughter with that same Question. How she would feel about Me dating a Younger Woman if i met one here. My Daughter is 33 her exact words were" If you are Happy and She makes you feel that way and not using you, why should I care?" Of course "no luck yet" But Good Friends!!

RainbowTrout Joined Fri 04/06/07 Posts: 13869	Tue 02/18/14 07:20 AM
Comfort level is a good indicator. After dating someone half my age I found a sense of deja vu. Like I have encounter this before. She looked up to me but I found I was still not as mature as I thought I was. It became uncomfortable. No wonder she kept calling me 'daddy'; After meeting her real daddy he had trouble with her, too. But we did communicate real well. The problem was that she was suicidal and like she said I could not afford her drinking. Her dad has her down to three beers a day which was better than I could get with her. I think his success is that he isn't as emotionally attached as I was and that he is her real daddy. She kind of scared me though when she asked me when she could come home and got onto me for not answering the phone when she called.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Tue 02/18/14 08:32 AM
well legally anything over 18 is no longer 'too young' socially, its different depending upon whom you ask compatibility trumps age, if two people are at a compatible stage in life, with compatible values and goals, that's what matters

alexfon68 Joined Sat 02/15/14 Posts: 234	Tue 02/18/14 08:34 AM Edited by alexfon68 on Tue 02/18/14 08:35 AM
well legally anything over 18 is no longer 'too young' socially, its different depending upon whom you ask compatibility trumps age, if two people are at a compatible stage in life, with compatible values and goals, that's what matters Best post of the morning! :-)

Leigh2154 Joined Sun 10/02/11 Posts: 16479	Tue 02/18/14 08:58 AM
Since I got divorced I have been meeting either guys on their 20's or on their 50's as a general rule. I have met a few that are on their 30's as well but not that many. I have always wondered when young is too young and old is too old. There is no set age difference either way because it is exclusive to the people involved...In other words, a man 20 years your senior might be too old for you or he might be just right...Every relationship is unique....

allie0408 Joined Fri 01/31/14 Posts: 129	Tue 02/18/14 09:00 AM
You will know what attracts you, be careful of overanalyzing. Use your instincts, imagination and have fun. Sometimes we put labels on things unnecessarily. Pay attention to how someone expresses themselves. That is a start. The bottom line, that question can only be answered by you. Thank you so much! Have a great day.

alexfon68 Joined Sat 02/15/14 Posts: 234	Tue 02/18/14 09:04 AM
You will know what attracts you, be careful of overanalyzing. Use your instincts, imagination and have fun. Sometimes we put labels on things unnecessarily. Pay attention to how someone expresses themselves. That is a start. The bottom line, that question can only be answered by you. Thank you so much! Have a great day. You are welcome and you have a great day, too.