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Topic: drawn to narcissism,, ? yes or no
msharmony's photo
Sun 11/23/14 03:59 PM
Edited by msharmony on Sun 11/23/14 04:04 PM
for me, narcissism is an extreme turnoff

by that I mean those who meet the definition of having NPO(narcissistic personality disorder)





but personal taste is different for all(obviously, making it 'personal')


just as some are drawn to 'roughnecks' and others to 'gentlemen'

is there anyone who finds themself drawn to the narcissist?
(whether proud of it or not)





**Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

---http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/basics/definition/CON-20025568?p=1

msharmony's photo
Sun 11/23/14 04:30 PM
none of it is easy,,,


I used to be drawn more to roughnecks when I was in my teens,,lol

but we are constantly learning and growing,,,

Kindlightheart's photo
Sun 11/23/14 04:30 PM
Wow...the common denominator in most of my past relationships....was almost doubting myself...after reading the definition I can sadly admit I'm attracted to the narcissist...I would say that I have the impression that their over confident attitudes would make them less jealous and more trusting...but after what I've experienced in my relationships it was the opposite...hmmmmm...maybe I will start looking for quiet shy guys...just don't think they could handle being with someone like me....:wink:

kc0003's photo
Sun 11/23/14 06:11 PM
confidence yes, otherwise, no thank you.

Beachfarmer's photo
Sun 11/23/14 06:18 PM
It's all about me.

dcastelmissy's photo
Sun 11/23/14 06:23 PM

confidence yes, otherwise, no thank you.


This!!!

no1phD's photo
Sun 11/23/14 06:35 PM
Edited by no1phD on Sun 11/23/14 06:35 PM
NOoooo.. it's all about the ((PhD))
.. better known as...NO 1..... laughing cynically now..HAHaHhha....ha.haaa..
Ha.. coughing..haaa..ha.. hacking.now.
think I got something caught my throat...lol

no photo
Sun 11/23/14 06:37 PM
Sometimes confidence without political correctness may seem like an arrogance.

Some people have an outlook based on their life-experience related to their national, racial, religious or other identity and those who do not share their opinions are labeled as arrogant or narcissist.

Labels are used too easily on online forums...

Only way to be sure there is a narcissistic person on the other end of the monitor is to watch for the signs in definition worthy repeating: "Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism."

I do not like them because of the lack of an empathy and tendency to manipulate other people for number of reasons, none of them justifiable.

jacktrades's photo
Sun 11/23/14 10:49 PM
A narcissist is a big turn off for me.

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo
Mon 11/24/14 02:17 AM
Edited by SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž on Mon 11/24/14 02:17 AM
NPDs are real charmers .. at first. They treat you like a goddess, do everything for you, they're all you've ever dreamt a man to be. That's why so many women fall for them .. That's why it's so difficult to resist them.

Once you've fallen for them, they start to change and their a-hole attitude surfaces. They start to treat you like crap, you are confused, because he was such a nice guy? They lay the guilt trip on you, and you believe them, because hey, he was nice, so it must be you then?!

It's not like they're a-holes and arrogant and all about them from the word go. Not at all!! That's why they're so 'dangerous'.
You make it sound as if they stand out like a sore thumb, they do not! They're very smart, manipulative, they can even have great people skills.

The only 'remedy' is having self-worth, healthy self-esteem etc. They attract vulnerable women. So if you are vulnerable, you do have a very good chance of ending up with an NPD, because unfortunately there are chitloads of them out there ..


no photo
Mon 11/24/14 06:22 AM


Wow...the common denominator in most of my past relationships....was almost doubting myself...after reading the definition I can sadly admit I'm attracted to the narcissist...I would say that I have the impression that their over confident attitudes would make them less jealous and more trusting...but after what I've experienced in my relationships it was the opposite...hmmmmm...maybe I will start looking for quiet shy guys...just don't think they could handle being with someone like me....


NPDs are real charmers .. at first. They treat you like a goddess, do everything for you, they're all you've ever dreamt a man to be. That's why so many women fall for them .. That's why it's so difficult to resist them.

Once you've fallen for them, they start to change and their a-hole attitude surfaces. They start to treat you like crap, you are confused, because he was such a nice guy? They lay the guilt trip on you, and you believe them, because hey, he was nice, so it must be you then?!

It's not like they're a-holes and arrogant and all about them from the word go. Not at all!! That's why they're so 'dangerous'.
You make it sound as if they stand out like a sore thumb, they do not! They're very smart, manipulative, they can even have great people skills.

The only 'remedy' is having self-worth, healthy self-esteem etc. They attract vulnerable women. So if you are vulnerable, you do have a very good chance of ending up with an NPD, because unfortunately there are chitloads of them out there ..




Vulnerable because they are extremely sensitive maybe??spock

Here is an interesting article from Psychology Today titled "Sense and Sensitivity", the relationship between sensitive people and narcissists...An awesome read for anyone who has been (or is) in a relationship with a narcissistic personality....Here's the first paragraph..

"Many highly sensitive people have asked me why they so often end up in relationships with narcissists or other negative types of people, who take advantage of us, drain our energy and take our kindness without giving anything in return. Whether these people are co-dependents, addicts, abusive, or narcissists, they disrespect our boundaries, blame, criticize and make us feel so bad about ourselves that we don’t have the energy to leave. So what is it about sensitive people and narcissists that creates such an attraction and leaves such a trail of destruction?"

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201305/the-relationship-between-sensitive-people-and-narcissists

(((Kindlightheart))), maybe you are just a very sensitive, giving person!flowerforyou


no photo
Mon 11/24/14 06:52 AM
Edited by fleta_n_mach on Mon 11/24/14 06:52 AM



Wow...the common denominator in most of my past relationships....was almost doubting myself...after reading the definition I can sadly admit I'm attracted to the narcissist...I would say that I have the impression that their over confident attitudes would make them less jealous and more trusting...but after what I've experienced in my relationships it was the opposite...hmmmmm...maybe I will start looking for quiet shy guys...just don't think they could handle being with someone like me....


NPDs are real charmers .. at first. They treat you like a goddess, do everything for you, they're all you've ever dreamt a man to be. That's why so many women fall for them .. That's why it's so difficult to resist them.

Once you've fallen for them, they start to change and their a-hole attitude surfaces. They start to treat you like crap, you are confused, because he was such a nice guy? They lay the guilt trip on you, and you believe them, because hey, he was nice, so it must be you then?!

It's not like they're a-holes and arrogant and all about them from the word go. Not at all!! That's why they're so 'dangerous'.
You make it sound as if they stand out like a sore thumb, they do not! They're very smart, manipulative, they can even have great people skills.

The only 'remedy' is having self-worth, healthy self-esteem etc. They attract vulnerable women. So if you are vulnerable, you do have a very good chance of ending up with an NPD, because unfortunately there are chitloads of them out there ..




Vulnerable because they are extremely sensitive maybe??spock

Here is an interesting article from Psychology Today titled "Sense and Sensitivity", the relationship between sensitive people and narcissists...An awesome read for anyone who has been (or is) in a relationship with a narcissistic personality....Here's the first paragraph..

"Many highly sensitive people have asked me why they so often end up in relationships with narcissists or other negative types of people, who take advantage of us, drain our energy and take our kindness without giving anything in return. Whether these people are co-dependents, addicts, abusive, or narcissists, they disrespect our boundaries, blame, criticize and make us feel so bad about ourselves that we don’t have the energy to leave. So what is it about sensitive people and narcissists that creates such an attraction and leaves such a trail of destruction?"

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201305/the-relationship-between-sensitive-people-and-narcissists

(((Kindlightheart))), maybe you are just a very sensitive, giving person!flowerforyou




Yup. You can not fix them. It's all about turning the empathic person into a co dependent for the narcissist. Researching co-dependance and applying that knowledge makes all the difference in the world to avoid them and set boundaries that are necessary for future growth and avoidance of manipulators.

davidben1's photo
Mon 11/24/14 07:11 AM
*Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

huh...

it would seem any ever honest with them self, would easily see none are born into the world without first feeling and displaying such...

it would seem whoever devised this definition of disorder about all others and not it self was displaying the disorder the most...

smiles.

Kindlightheart's photo
Mon 11/24/14 10:14 AM




Wow...the common denominator in most of my past relationships....was almost doubting myself...after reading the definition I can sadly admit I'm attracted to the narcissist...I would say that I have the impression that their over confident attitudes would make them less jealous and more trusting...but after what I've experienced in my relationships it was the opposite...hmmmmm...maybe I will start looking for quiet shy guys...just don't think they could handle being with someone like me....


NPDs are real charmers .. at first. They treat you like a goddess, do everything for you, they're all you've ever dreamt a man to be. That's why so many women fall for them .. That's why it's so difficult to resist them.

Once you've fallen for them, they start to change and their a-hole attitude surfaces. They start to treat you like crap, you are confused, because he was such a nice guy? They lay the guilt trip on you, and you believe them, because hey, he was nice, so it must be you then?!

It's not like they're a-holes and arrogant and all about them from the word go. Not at all!! That's why they're so 'dangerous'.
You make it sound as if they stand out like a sore thumb, they do not! They're very smart, manipulative, they can even have great people skills.

The only 'remedy' is having self-worth, healthy self-esteem etc. They attract vulnerable women. So if you are vulnerable, you do have a very good chance of ending up with an NPD, because unfortunately there are chitloads of them out there ..




Vulnerable because they are extremely sensitive maybe??spock

Here is an interesting article from Psychology Today titled "Sense and Sensitivity", the relationship between sensitive people and narcissists...An awesome read for anyone who has been (or is) in a relationship with a narcissistic personality....Here's the first paragraph..

"Many highly sensitive people have asked me why they so often end up in relationships with narcissists or other negative types of people, who take advantage of us, drain our energy and take our kindness without giving anything in return. Whether these people are co-dependents, addicts, abusive, or narcissists, they disrespect our boundaries, blame, criticize and make us feel so bad about ourselves that we don’t have the energy to leave. So what is it about sensitive people and narcissists that creates such an attraction and leaves such a trail of destruction?"

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201305/the-relationship-between-sensitive-people-and-narcissists

(((Kindlightheart))), maybe you are just a very sensitive, giving person!flowerforyou




Yup. You can not fix them. It's all about turning the empathic person into a co dependent for the narcissist. Researching co-dependance and applying that knowledge makes all the difference in the world to avoid them and set boundaries that are necessary for future growth and avoidance of manipulators.
I must say you ladies have been helpful in so many ways...I kinda closed myself off from the real world for a bit...found this site...Glad I did too...I really enjoy all of you people...geez...Nail on the head with me being too nice and sensitive...sadly I havent found a cure for that yet...lol...hope everyone has a most beautiful day... :)

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo
Mon 11/24/14 10:22 AM





Wow...the common denominator in most of my past relationships....was almost doubting myself...after reading the definition I can sadly admit I'm attracted to the narcissist...I would say that I have the impression that their over confident attitudes would make them less jealous and more trusting...but after what I've experienced in my relationships it was the opposite...hmmmmm...maybe I will start looking for quiet shy guys...just don't think they could handle being with someone like me....


NPDs are real charmers .. at first. They treat you like a goddess, do everything for you, they're all you've ever dreamt a man to be. That's why so many women fall for them .. That's why it's so difficult to resist them.

Once you've fallen for them, they start to change and their a-hole attitude surfaces. They start to treat you like crap, you are confused, because he was such a nice guy? They lay the guilt trip on you, and you believe them, because hey, he was nice, so it must be you then?!

It's not like they're a-holes and arrogant and all about them from the word go. Not at all!! That's why they're so 'dangerous'.
You make it sound as if they stand out like a sore thumb, they do not! They're very smart, manipulative, they can even have great people skills.

The only 'remedy' is having self-worth, healthy self-esteem etc. They attract vulnerable women. So if you are vulnerable, you do have a very good chance of ending up with an NPD, because unfortunately there are chitloads of them out there ..




Vulnerable because they are extremely sensitive maybe??spock

Here is an interesting article from Psychology Today titled "Sense and Sensitivity", the relationship between sensitive people and narcissists...An awesome read for anyone who has been (or is) in a relationship with a narcissistic personality....Here's the first paragraph..

"Many highly sensitive people have asked me why they so often end up in relationships with narcissists or other negative types of people, who take advantage of us, drain our energy and take our kindness without giving anything in return. Whether these people are co-dependents, addicts, abusive, or narcissists, they disrespect our boundaries, blame, criticize and make us feel so bad about ourselves that we don’t have the energy to leave. So what is it about sensitive people and narcissists that creates such an attraction and leaves such a trail of destruction?"

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201305/the-relationship-between-sensitive-people-and-narcissists

(((Kindlightheart))), maybe you are just a very sensitive, giving person!flowerforyou




Yup. You can not fix them. It's all about turning the empathic person into a co dependent for the narcissist. Researching co-dependance and applying that knowledge makes all the difference in the world to avoid them and set boundaries that are necessary for future growth and avoidance of manipulators.
I must say you ladies have been helpful in so many ways...I kinda closed myself off from the real world for a bit...found this site...Glad I did too...I really enjoy all of you people...geez...Nail on the head with me being too nice and sensitive...sadly I havent found a cure for that yet...lol...hope everyone has a most beautiful day... :)

You don't have to find a cure for being nice and sensitive ...
You have to work on your inner strength, get boundaries etc etc. Mostly nice and sensitive ppl are vulnerable because they are pleasers. That's what you gotta stop. Pleasers aren't strong, they need the pleasing to feel needed, accepted etc etc. You can be very strong - on the inside-, yet be nice and sensitive and open. Basically that's what the empowered feminine is all about. Just that most of us have strength and shields on the outside, esp the sensitive ones, and are vulnerable/weak on the inside.

stan_147's photo
Mon 11/24/14 11:20 AM
<==== same azzhole on the first day, as the last.

"It's not braggin' if you can do it" - Roy Rogers

Dodo_David's photo
Mon 11/24/14 11:26 AM

for me, narcissism is an extreme turnoff


I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah.

Well, enough of me talking about me. How about you talk about me instead. bigsmile

davidben1's photo
Mon 11/24/14 11:52 AM
Edited by davidben1 on Mon 11/24/14 12:08 PM
ironic how the "narcissist" has to have an over inflated value of it self to deem another as a narcissist.

seems a narcissist would of course never view it self as narcissist, since it it enthralled with the belief that those who didn't and don't do what one self wanted or wants are narcissist.

hehehe...

seems a narcissist is so easily offended about being criticized it deem anyone who criticize it self as a narcissist...

seems a narcissist lack empathy for others who complain about one's actions because it deem the complainers narcissist, and so lacks empathy for them...

as of course, all the empathy one has is being used on one self, and not others, definitely creating lacking empathy for others...

seems the narcissistic needed to be adored so much by others that it tried to please others to fill this deep need, and those who did not adore one self are than deemed as narcissist.

damn...

tragic blindness it seems a narcissist have about it self.



Dodo_David's photo
Mon 11/24/14 11:56 AM

ironic how the "narcissist" has an overinflated value of it self to deem another as a narcissist.

seems a narcissist would of course never view it self as narcissist, since it it enthralled with the belief that those who didn't and don't do what one self wants are narcissist.

seems a narcissist is so easily offended about being criticized it deem anyone criticize one self as a narcissist...

seems a narcissist lack empathy for others who complain about one's actions because it deem the complainers narcissist so lacking empathy...

as of course, all the empathy of one self than is used on one self, not others...

seems the narcissistic needed to be adored so much by others that those who did not adore one self are deemed as narcissist.

damn...

tragic blindness it seems a narcissist have about it self.


Is all of that a subtle way of saying that you Humans should be talking about me? bigsmile :tongue:

davidben1's photo
Mon 11/24/14 12:01 PM
smiles...

but your reaction prove you not a narcissist...

indeed than probably of the more evolved species than humans...

hehehe...

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