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| Topic: Healthy, Respectful, and STIMULATING Debate | |
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Yo.
I really wish that everyone could learn how to communicate instead of throw around insults. We don't have to be exactly the same; our differences from one another is what makes us beautiful. I have no desire to be friends with a carbon copy of myself, I want to learn about others and their experiences/perspectives. How they became who they are. It's intriguing. I watched a TED talk recently about taking your opposite to lunch (I'm sadly addicted to the TED talks- some of them are a little silly, but many are really insightful, thought-provoking, or even inspiring). Taking your opposite to lunch means that you earnestly put forth effort, in a friendly, non-combative/aggressive forum, to understand a person who may disagree with you on a social issue. It's an Atheist taking a devout Christian out. Or a far-left Democrat taking a far-right republican out. Instead of seeing them as a 'damn hippy' or 'religious nutjob', you see their humanity. You see them laugh, you learn what may have recently made them cry. You take them out of the label that you've assigned them and give them a right to be a human being, who just happens to believe something that you may not. It's empowering... because... knowledge is power right (har har). The unfortunate part, is that people can't (or don't want to) empathize. The other unfortunate part, is that we don't know how to debate effectively or respectively. I have a colleague who repeatedly comes into my office and just inserts his foot directly into his mouth. I can't even talk to him about anything relevant. With him, we could take a logical fallacy poster and play a drinking game. I'd last MAYBE 10 minutes. Have enough respect/regard for not only the person you're debating with, but for your own cause; to be the best representative of it as possible. It benefits both parties. My problem, is that I may be too much into empathy. Damn commercials have me in tears. I can debate a topic all day, but the frustration comes when people can't argue their own side. I REALLY want them to. |
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I feel the same way with you,but with such people,I'd rather avoid almost completely OR,just completely!!!
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But sometimes,there's this part of me,that want fight fire with fire lol!!
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Hurling insults during a debate is usually an act of desperation.
Such as in a recent debate on these forums, where the losing side resorted to fat jokes. |
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I agree with that. And although I would like to find a relationship with a man who could do this, I have my doubts that it will happen. I've noticed that men don't like debating with their s/o.
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I agree with that. And although I would like to find a relationship with a man who could do this, I have my doubts that it will happen. I've noticed that men don't like debating with their s/o. heck no because y'all always twist things,always causing us to be on the losing end. |
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We have deleted several off topic comments. Please keep to the topic when posting.
Site Mod Kristi |
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I agree with that. And although I would like to find a relationship with a man who could do this, I have my doubts that it will happen. I've noticed that men don't like debating with their s/o. I'm sure that there are a lot of men who enjoy a good healthy debate... But I also agree that many men probably don't like debates with the s/o. Also perhaps true that some of us women don't always fight fair. |
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Yo. I really wish that everyone could learn how to communicate instead of throw around insults. We don't have to be exactly the same; our differences from one another is what makes us beautiful. I have no desire to be friends with a carbon copy of myself, I want to learn about others and their experiences/perspectives. How they became who they are. It's intriguing. I watched a TED talk recently about taking your opposite to lunch (I'm sadly addicted to the TED talks- some of them are a little silly, but many are really insightful, thought-provoking, or even inspiring). Taking your opposite to lunch means that you earnestly put forth effort, in a friendly, non-combative/aggressive forum, to understand a person who may disagree with you on a social issue. It's an Atheist taking a devout Christian out. Or a far-left Democrat taking a far-right republican out. Instead of seeing them as a 'damn hippy' or 'religious nutjob', you see their humanity. You see them laugh, you learn what may have recently made them cry. You take them out of the label that you've assigned them and give them a right to be a human being, who just happens to believe something that you may not. It's empowering... because... knowledge is power right (har har). The unfortunate part, is that people can't (or don't want to) empathize. The other unfortunate part, is that we don't know how to debate effectively or respectively. I have a colleague who repeatedly comes into my office and just inserts his foot directly into his mouth. I can't even talk to him about anything relevant. With him, we could take a logical fallacy poster and play a drinking game. I'd last MAYBE 10 minutes. Have enough respect/regard for not only the person you're debating with, but for your own cause; to be the best representative of it as possible. It benefits both parties. My problem, is that I may be too much into empathy. Damn commercials have me in tears. I can debate a topic all day, but the frustration comes when people can't argue their own side. I REALLY want them to. I wouldn't mind being friends with you and friends with a carbon copy of you. 
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Yo. I really wish that everyone could learn how to communicate instead of throw around insults. We don't have to be exactly the same; our differences from one another is what makes us beautiful. I have no desire to be friends with a carbon copy of myself, I want to learn about others and their experiences/perspectives. How they became who they are. It's intriguing. I watched a TED talk recently about taking your opposite to lunch (I'm sadly addicted to the TED talks- some of them are a little silly, but many are really insightful, thought-provoking, or even inspiring). Taking your opposite to lunch means that you earnestly put forth effort, in a friendly, non-combative/aggressive forum, to understand a person who may disagree with you on a social issue. It's an Atheist taking a devout Christian out. Or a far-left Democrat taking a far-right republican out. Instead of seeing them as a 'damn hippy' or 'religious nutjob', you see their humanity. You see them laugh, you learn what may have recently made them cry. You take them out of the label that you've assigned them and give them a right to be a human being, who just happens to believe something that you may not. It's empowering... because... knowledge is power right (har har). The unfortunate part, is that people can't (or don't want to) empathize. The other unfortunate part, is that we don't know how to debate effectively or respectively. I have a colleague who repeatedly comes into my office and just inserts his foot directly into his mouth. I can't even talk to him about anything relevant. With him, we could take a logical fallacy poster and play a drinking game. I'd last MAYBE 10 minutes. Have enough respect/regard for not only the person you're debating with, but for your own cause; to be the best representative of it as possible. It benefits both parties. My problem, is that I may be too much into empathy. Damn commercials have me in tears. I can debate a topic all day, but the frustration comes when people can't argue their own side. I REALLY want them to. try this... pick smarter people to debate with... 
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I agree with that. And although I would like to find a relationship with a man who could do this, I have my doubts that it will happen. I've noticed that men don't like debating with their s/o. As avamari2 said, "... women don't always fight fair." Yeah, I know that she said "some of us women", but if all men are to be judged by what some men do, then turn-about is fair play. /sarc |
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Yo. I really wish that everyone could learn how to communicate instead of throw around insults. We don't have to be exactly the same; our differences from one another is what makes us beautiful. I have no desire to be friends with a carbon copy of myself, I want to learn about others and their experiences/perspectives. How they became who they are. It's intriguing. I watched a TED talk recently about taking your opposite to lunch (I'm sadly addicted to the TED talks- some of them are a little silly, but many are really insightful, thought-provoking, or even inspiring). Taking your opposite to lunch means that you earnestly put forth effort, in a friendly, non-combative/aggressive forum, to understand a person who may disagree with you on a social issue. It's an Atheist taking a devout Christian out. Or a far-left Democrat taking a far-right republican out. Instead of seeing them as a 'damn hippy' or 'religious nutjob', you see their humanity. You see them laugh, you learn what may have recently made them cry. You take them out of the label that you've assigned them and give them a right to be a human being, who just happens to believe something that you may not. It's empowering... because... knowledge is power right (har har). The unfortunate part, is that people can't (or don't want to) empathize. The other unfortunate part, is that we don't know how to debate effectively or respectively. I have a colleague who repeatedly comes into my office and just inserts his foot directly into his mouth. I can't even talk to him about anything relevant. With him, we could take a logical fallacy poster and play a drinking game. I'd last MAYBE 10 minutes. Have enough respect/regard for not only the person you're debating with, but for your own cause; to be the best representative of it as possible. It benefits both parties. My problem, is that I may be too much into empathy. Damn commercials have me in tears. I can debate a topic all day, but the frustration comes when people can't argue their own side. I REALLY want them to. But you said your attracted to the Irish men. They like to argue, drink, eat, but have learned to put religion aside. Politicians generally have such a dry personality that I could mop up the desert with them all strung together and still have more water in the desert than they sweat combined. Call Jenny Craig for your co-worker. I respect all of those people. I'll leave you alone, since you like the Irish so much. |
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Edited by
IgorFrankensteen
on
Sat 01/24/15 03:16 PM
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Some where during my childhood, I came to value finding the most accurate understanding of things, over getting my own way. That has meant that I always argue honestly, and that I always make a genuine effort to see the other person's viewpoint, and to recognize any prejudices I have.
Unfortunately for me, this is an extremely unusual attitude to have, especially in the United States, where "winning" is often valued over honor. As a part of my dedication to finding accuracy, I will even suggest to my opponent how better to argue their own side, even as I disagree with them furiously. In this I am, I think, right in line with your own desire that whoever is arguing the other side, at least make a good job of it. I am sorry to have found that there are a lot of people who really don't want to argue their points of view at all. They want to declare them, and have everyone else knuckle under. These are the folks most likely to resort to name calling and other ad hominem attacks. One thing to note: at least here in the US, almost no effort is made to directly educate most people on how to go about formulating and presenting a formal argument of any idea. |
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I do not like to debate at all, and generally do not like people who are the debating argumentative type. because I won't argue past stating an initial opinion and my mind cannot be changed.
but then I feel there is really very little worth arguing about. I try to deal mostly in facts. so lunch with me would just utterly frustrate you. I wish I could fine more people like me |
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I do not like to debate at all, and generally do not like people who are the debating argumentative type. because I won't argue past stating an initial opinion and my mind cannot be changed. but then I feel there is really very little worth arguing about. I try to deal mostly in facts. so lunch with me would just utterly frustrate you. I wish I could fine more people like me I don't think debate = arguing. It never needs to be combative, but that is exactly my point. People can't delineate between the two, so our disagreements/misunderstandings continue to isolate each side more drastically. Case in point = politics. We all do have a common thread, as Americans (for those who are, obv), we want the best for the country, our children, and our tax dollars. But we are so busy calling people "libtards" or (insert anti-conservative name here), that the anger gets in the way of progress. Seriously, proper debate should be a required course in grade school. We find strength in society by embracing our differences and finding appropriate ways to communicate- not running from it. |
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I do not like to debate at all, and generally do not like people who are the debating argumentative type. because I won't argue past stating an initial opinion and my mind cannot be changed. but then I feel there is really very little worth arguing about. I try to deal mostly in facts. so lunch with me would just utterly frustrate you. I wish I could fine more people like me I don't think debate = arguing. It never needs to be combative, but that is exactly my point. People can't delineate between the two, so our disagreements/misunderstandings continue to isolate each side more drastically. Case in point = politics. We all do have a common thread, as Americans (for those who are, obv), we want the best for the country, our children, and our tax dollars. But we are so busy calling people "libtards" or (insert anti-conservative name here), that the anger gets in the way of progress. Seriously, proper debate should be a required course in grade school. We find strength in society by embracing our differences and finding appropriate ways to communicate- not running from it. yes I agree that when issues and facts need to be discussed name calling and anger need to be put away. In fact, those who wish to influence others are probably not going to do so by insulting them...lol   nonetheless some will enjoy that type of conversation more than others. I do not, and only engage in it when it is necessary in order to resolve something and it is something i value resolving. I often choose other types of conversation. I seldom - practically never, debate simply for the sake of it. not something I enjoy at all. but you are completely correct as far as your suggestions regarding proper behavior and tone. 
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I do not like to debate at all, and generally do not like people who are the debating argumentative type. because I won't argue past stating an initial opinion and my mind cannot be changed. but then I feel there is really very little worth arguing about. I try to deal mostly in facts. so lunch with me would just utterly frustrate you. I wish I could fine more people like me I don't think debate = arguing. It never needs to be combative, but that is exactly my point. People can't delineate between the two, so our disagreements/misunderstandings continue to isolate each side more drastically. Case in point = politics. We all do have a common thread, as Americans (for those who are, obv), we want the best for the country, our children, and our tax dollars. But we are so busy calling people "libtards" or (insert anti-conservative name here), that the anger gets in the way of progress. Seriously, proper debate should be a required course in grade school. We find strength in society by embracing our differences and finding appropriate ways to communicate- not running from it. To the open minded type, debate may not be so strenuous, but for another personality type, it may be impossible, at least in having a discussion where anyone learns. I think I am open enough for discussion, I am not always so articulate but, I have opinion and like to learn, most times I'd just rather not get into it like sweetest said, and just kiss her. usually people have a point to make, and though I'm willing to listen and learn, in the end, I make my own decisions. Usually nothing comes up that's so profound, my mind is changed. I just understand how close or far apart I am from them. I'd rather make out. So maybe I'm one of the dumb ones? go figure... |
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To the open minded type, debate may not be so strenuous, but for another personality type, it may be impossible, at least in having a discussion where anyone learns. I think I am open enough for discussion, I am not always so articulate but, I have opinion and like to learn, most times I'd just rather not get into it like sweetest said, and just kiss her. usually people have a point to make, and though I'm willing to listen and learn, in the end, I make my own decisions. Usually nothing comes up that's so profound, my mind is changed. I just understand how close or far apart I am from them. I'd rather make out. So maybe I'm one of the dumb ones? go figure... This is a keeper... :-))...There is nothing more informative than a clean debate...I learn so much and many times someone's logic will persuade me to change my mind or at the very least look at the topic from a different perspective...There are a few issues that are important enough to me to keep me in to the end, but more often than not (and depending who is debating what) when the chit hits the fan, I'm checking out... |
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Edited by
SpicyExcel
on
Tue 01/27/15 07:33 AM
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To the open minded type, debate may not be so strenuous, but for another personality type, it may be impossible, at least in having a discussion where anyone learns. I think I am open enough for discussion, I am not always so articulate but, I have opinion and like to learn, most times I'd just rather not get into it like sweetest said, and just kiss her. usually people have a point to make, and though I'm willing to listen and learn, in the end, I make my own decisions. Usually nothing comes up that's so profound, my mind is changed. I just understand how close or far apart I am from them. I'd rather make out. So maybe I'm one of the dumb ones? go figure... This is a keeper... :-))...There is nothing more informative than a clean debate...I learn so much and many times someone's logic will persuade me to change my mind or at the very least look at the topic from a different perspective...There are a few issues that are important enough to me to keep me in to the end, but more often than not (and depending who is debating what) when the chit hits the fan, I'm checking out... Discussing/debating issues, expressing our opinions is how we learn about each others personalities and find personal qualities we like. We debat and state our opinions, but the frustrating part in these debates' is some look at them as the neccessity to provide facts not opinions. Government institutions' look at facts not opinions. This is why people change their tone of voice or raise their voice, because they have become frustrated in the opposition not accepting an opinion as being fact. Just because it is an opinion, does not mean it is not fact. Government institutions want career professional's to provide facts', and look at people as if they know nothing in life. When everyone has put there whole life and future at stake then you realize the difference in how people are treated by authority, and why people get upset or avoid debates. I can remember times in my life stating something and then years later a professional publicating it, and then told I had to learn this person discovered this behaviour in life and provide it to be fact. That person discovered it as fact, but we state it and only interpreted as an opinion by government. This one issue is not recorded accurate that I am referring to, for reasons' I will not express. Since they graduated from a university it is considered there facts/opinions are more sound that most others. |
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Edited by
mysticalview21
on
Thu 01/29/15 09:37 AM
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I like debates op ... and feel a little like Leigh... learn something from them also ... but when those trying to compete with another... I don't call that a debate ... an while in a debate sometimes with them they get off a subject and use some far right explanation that does not even compare to what the general conversation is ... and think this belongs in the debate and it does not ... but is nice to have a debate with someone who is not trying to drive the point home ... and can't see any other way ... but them feeling thier always right ...
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