I have a good friend, that no matter what I say to her, she says " why? "
Since English is her 3rd language I initially assumed she was trying to figure out what I am saying or understand cultural differences. So I would explain things in detail, sometimes over explain. This became taxing.. it is a lot of talking & texting.
If It was a serious issue, the constant "why's" can actually be stressful & by no means helpful. I now realize she understands me & she is not asking 'why' out of a bad habit either, but she is just incredibly NOSEY & suspicious, as if there is a back story to everything & anything & she needs to know it.
* I am sure of this, because when I say ' I don't know, or it doesn't matter', she becomes irritated.
She has no problem solving skills,... because she is too preoccupied with, details, descriptions, or a history.
* Her record number of ex boyfriends makes that obvious. I think she questions them to death & they feel like they are under investigation & run. *
I have tried repeatedly to get her to stop, but I now assume it is just her personality.
We are friends for over 2 years, but needless to say, I now find myself telling her less & less...because it is exhausting me!
---------------------------------------------

Do you have someone in your life that is a constant state of, questioning ?

" Who? What? When? Where?Why? How? "

Yea..I am asking you a question..
Hhhaaaa..

If ever I come across ppl like that, they live from the head and aren't in touch with their intuitive side. Very taxing indeed.
They aren't in my Rolodex for long

Hiya SassyEuro,

My daughter when she was very young would ask "why"

One day she asked me....
Why is the Sun hot?
and before I could answer her,
she asked me....
Why is the fridge cold?

Needless to say, I just gave up trying to explain, and instead,
we went to the shop to buy ice cream and sweet treats

Exactly.. children do that. My son use to ask me about clouds. And I went running to encyclopedias.

I was thinking, it is kind of juvenile on my friends part too.
Actually wondering, 'Emotionally, what age is she?'
But, I may be cutting her to much slack. Because, understanding her thought process won't help me any.
I will only spend more time answering these questions.

Maybe I could buy her encyclopedias but she would only ask me, 'why?'

Why not ?

Good morning Frank..

Good morning Sassy Girl,
My,don't you loook well and not a day over 90.

Why?

I thought this was going to be a thread about Vinny Barbarino,,lol

I don't understand the problem.

In grade school you are taught to ask, figure out, or offer "Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?" in order to develop critical thinking, problem solving, writing, and reading skills.

Police detectives are preoccupied with details, descriptions, and history trying to solve a problem.
So are programmers, accountants, lawyers, doctors, customer service reps, scientists, teachers, realtors, farmers, mothers, lots and lots of professions.

Asking for details can mean they have great problem solving skills, they are simply being provided worthless information that doesn't lend itself to solving anything.

You don't offer a specific example of the problem to understand what you are talking about.

Which is ironic.

Lots of people don't offer information. They just offer emotional manipulation. They want the other person to just agree with them, to feel the same way, to judge someone or something the same way.
Lots of people don't want to be manipulated that way, they want to form their own opinion.
So they ask questions.


But you don't know.
Do you think that's fair to your "friend?"
To judge her this way or possibly talk behind her back like that (I assume she isn't here)?


No.
My grandfather was partially deaf.
As a kid I'd say something and he wouldn't hear me or understand why I'd start talking about something.
After a couple of repeated attempts I'd say "never mind."
And he'd say "well why the hell did you say it in the first place if it isn't worth repeating," or, "why do you think I need to know that."

It wasn't his fault for asking me to repeat myself or question what I was saying. It was my fault for saying things that weren't worth saying.

If you're going to say something say something worthwhile.
Friends aren't forums.
Forums you don't have to think before you ejaculate thoughts and emotions.
The people don't really matter.
Just the ideas the reader values.
With friends it's respectful, considerate, and helps the relationship to think before you speak.

My son ask me why the other day. I replied, "Because I said so."

when they ask why, and honestly if it's a "well what the heck do you want to know that for" moment.


I may ask "why is it important/relevant that you need to know that? "


maybe the answer will show you their thought process. but if their answer is "because" with no explanation that would also become my default answer. ..but now they'd know why that was my answer

IMHO. diff people will have diff reasons. in my life in the last 1 1/2 i have gone throu a LOT of family issues. one was the girl i hired to watch my mom lived in the same house as mom and i. and many people wanted to know the sleeping setup. so i just said why do you want to know? and what difference does it make? but it seams your deal is different.

For the win!
You should have one of those t-shirts that says "Because I'm the mommy, that's why."

Oh good. I'm not the only one who though of him upon reading the thread title.

ooh ooh mister kotter pick vinnie

Why?

No

. . . . . . . . . . "Who? What? When? Where?" . . . . . . . . . .