How long as a woman would you continue to date a man that wont commit? We are middle aged people, he says he is committed but does not want to live together "yet". He says he would like to live together in the future but will give no time frame. Am I wasting my time?

how is anyone else gunna answer that? i don't want to live with a woman, much less if shes trying to force it...

decide what you want to do only you know if you're wasting your time

Im not trying to force anything, really just trying to figure out if I am being used.

hard to say when we only have one side, and little info

A lot of variables.. How long have you been dating.
Why is his word of commitment to you not good enough..

Do you feel he feels committed in the relationship....

Does every relationship have to end up 'living together'? If you are in a monogamous relationship, why are you in such a rush for living together? Living together is no guarantee he wouldn't NOT be..
I would enjoy the overnighters, your independence and alone time for your 'ME' things, but thats just me. maybe take up a craft for when your not together, just sayin

Very true. We have been dating about a year. He says he loves me but doesnt want to live together now but will at some point in the future, but he cannot even tell me if he is talking about a year or ten years from now. I am independent and make as much money as he does so its not like I am trying to move in and freeload or anything. It would be so nice if I could get a man's interpretation of what this really means.

In most state if you live together for more than seven years you fall under common law marriage. This means you might as well be married because if you brake up after that the courts treat it like a separation or a divorce.

You have serious trust issues.

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We have been dating for a year. He has been caught "massaging" the truth so to speak in the past, not on any deal breaking subject, but enough to make me evaluate everything he says. I feel like he is probably committed to keeping things the way they are now and has no intention of ever moving in with me, but that could just be a misperception, which is why I am soliciting opinions.

Amen to that. Serious ones. With good reasons.

Humm hard to say myself that is the perfect relationship.. They have their place and I have mine...

i would say if he can't make up his mind, make it for him... it sounds like you have doubts, so maybe start looking for someone that you have less doubts with... either that will make him come around, or you find someone "better"...

That works for me
I like having my own House and He's got his.
What's the rush?
You have to do what's right for you.
Look at the postive side you date longer, still have their attention, and you still are answerable to yourself.
If you don't or can't go out you can simply say no.

if finding a man to live with is important to you
and you feel like you would like a definite answer or need one from this man
then you need to have a serious discussion with him on a time frame

if he is unwilling to give you the answer you would like
then you must decide if you are ok with things the way they are

or if this is not going to meet your needs

If she needs to be committed then I'm all for it.

hes cheating on you!

does living together equal committed?

to me it means sharing space.


committed means being there for each other? aside from not sharing an address is he there for you?

what factors in his and your life contribute to his decision to not move in together? does he maybe see what he's doing as a sign of respect for you?
are there children involved and he's being respectful of them?

why are you asking us instead of communicating with him? when you are together do you listen or do you only hear what you want to hear?


to answer your question, I see commitment in a lot of different ways than just sharing an address. we both give it our best to make things work.
signs of commitment are things like keeping promises and making time for what matters.