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| Topic: Men: What do we need them for? | |
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Well I think every woman knows why a man is required in their life and I am sure you also know the reason. Lot of women in this thread have mentioned it even in bullet points  Men play many roles in a woman life like a father, friend, partner, son, etc Every role has its own importance. Anyway I think the question in your mind is related to role of a husband so let me also try some bullet points 1. Keeps all your secrets even sexual ones. Women share between them everything but men don`t share especially the sexual stuff. 2. Helps making decisions for you. It is quite normal for women to be confused with choices or options or ideas and there comes the man in picture. 3. Protect and makes you feel safe (most places) 4. Makes you laugh and cry alot  5. Physical and emotional support. Well you get that from women too but you know the difference when your man gives it to you. There are many others too but I don`t like to write so much. I have seen many women saying that they are happy alone but still as soon as they find a right guy all their happiness gets attached to that guy. Oh yeaaaaaah... keeping secrets. I didnt think about that one  and i agree with that as well as your other examples. And yes . I am very aware and grateful for what men bring to the table. It is nice to see some of the men stepping up in this thread . I was actually getting concerned that you guys were oblivious to your awesomeness thanks for your contribution :
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Edited by
SparklingCrystal 💖💎
on
Tue 01/19/16 09:58 AM
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Demanding someone to vow to stay with you till you die, is a fear based thing. If everyone could ease up on this subject a bit more, and not see divorce as if it's major disaster and "my life is over!" and "God's wrath will be on you!", life on this planet would become so much better. I think there is a broader context for viewing the marriage issue though. A marriage is a promise and its one of the few promises that millions make involving the government , ur significant other and god for those who believe in god. Treating that lightly to me is breach of integrity, i am not suggesting that people should sacrifice their health , wealth and sanity in the name of keeping a promise. I am just saying that people should think loooooong and haaaaaaaard before making that promise and exhaust all options available within reason.before opting for divorce because the larger issue for me is the integrity of trying to keep a sacred promise. Too often i see people discard thst commitment because of unrealistic expectations. If a person commits to 50 years with another person, they have to have the common sense to know that they will go through a number of crappy years . Most of the couples with long term seemingly happy marriages have confided in me that they went through months and years at a time of enmity with their partner but they kept working and got through the storm . Does that sound romantic. ? No it doesnt but its the reality. The payoff is when u mutually come out on the other side of adversity with a deeper respect and affection for yor mate. Anyone who is not prepared to put up with some crappy years in a 50 year span with another human being SHOULD NOT GET MARRIED, but once they do, then every effort should be made to save a troubled union via counselling, martiage retreats and seminars ,.romantic getaways and even taking breaks from each other when necessary to avoid killing each other, but i do not condone quitting after half-azzed attempts. I know my view is unpopular but it is what it is For the most part agree with you. I know it's not directed at me, but just to make clear that I never said ppl should just get out of relationships when things get a bit bumpy. To be honest I know of NO woman who has done that ... And most women I know are single or have been divorced. To be honest, they all did the opposite: stayed way too long. Women have a tendency to not cut their losses on time and keep wanting, hoping, to salvage the relationship, even against their better judgement. That's in the Netherlands, may be different in other countries, as each country has different societal expectations etc. |
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Well I think every woman knows why a man is required in their life and I am sure you also know the reason. Lot of women in this thread have mentioned it even in bullet points Men play many roles in a woman life like a father, friend, partner, son, etc Every role has its own importance. Anyway I think the question in your mind is related to role of a husband so let me also try some bullet points 1. Keeps all your secrets even sexual ones. Women share between them everything but men don`t share especially the sexual stuff. 2. Helps making decisions for you. It is quite normal for women to be confused with choices or options or ideas and there comes the man in picture. 3. Protect and makes you feel safe (most places) 4. Makes you laugh and cry alot 5. Physical and emotional support. Well you get that from women too but you know the difference when your man gives it to you. There are many others too but I don`t like to write so much. I have seen many women saying that they are happy alone but still as soon as they find a right guy all their happiness gets attached to that guy. Odd things you come up with ... 1 is nothing whatsoever to do with 'doing something for a woman', it's to do with how men are wired. It's more to do with keeping your own secrets, not ours. 2 very patronizing view. We are not simpletons. This is exactly the obsolete old-fashioned view that we have to get rid of if we want to get somewhere as a species 4 not gender related at all 5 like you say: women give that too. Very much so. . .  Actually crystal . I could be wrong but i wasnt getting from his tone that he was being patronising. The jist i got from it was that men are helpful when it comes to decision making which i cant disagree with. May women are prone to treating most decisions like life and death situations when often the consequences arent that serious . And i also didnt focus on the sexual aspect he mentioned because i think he was just highlighting the ability of males to keep a secet which i have also found to be generally true. I prefer to focus on the general context of things inconversation threads. Somehow focusing on single words tend to throw things out of context too easily |
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Well I think every woman knows why a man is required in their life and I am sure you also know the reason. Lot of women in this thread have mentioned it even in bullet points Men play many roles in a woman life like a father, friend, partner, son, etc Every role has its own importance. Anyway I think the question in your mind is related to role of a husband so let me also try some bullet points 1. Keeps all your secrets even sexual ones. Women share between them everything but men don`t share especially the sexual stuff. 2. Helps making decisions for you. It is quite normal for women to be confused with choices or options or ideas and there comes the man in picture. 3. Protect and makes you feel safe (most places) 4. Makes you laugh and cry alot 5. Physical and emotional support. Well you get that from women too but you know the difference when your man gives it to you. There are many others too but I don`t like to write so much. I have seen many women saying that they are happy alone but still as soon as they find a right guy all their happiness gets attached to that guy. Odd things you come up with ... 1 is nothing whatsoever to do with 'doing something for a woman', it's to do with how men are wired. It's more to do with keeping your own secrets, not ours. 2 very patronizing view. We are not simpletons. This is exactly the obsolete old-fashioned view that we have to get rid of if we want to get somewhere as a species 4 not gender related at all 5 like you say: women give that too. Very much so. . . Actually crystal . I could be wrong but i wasnt getting from his tone that he was being patronising. The jist i got from it was that men are helpful when it comes to decision making which i cant disagree with. May women are prone to treating most decisions like life and death situations when often the consequences arent that serious . And i also didnt focus on the sexual aspect he mentioned because i think he was just highlighting the ability of males to keep a secet which i have also found to be generally true. I prefer to focus on the general context of things inconversation threads. Somehow focusing on single words tend to throw things out of context too easily |
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I've had 2 long term relationships The first, I was the leading role, not really by choice but without me, nothing was ever decided on, kinda like constant limbo or stagnation so I would always take the initiative and plan stuff for us to do. Of course I'd be the one to blame if things went sideways  The second, I was the supporting cast, the family fireman, always putting out the fires(so to speak) created by a scattered and flippant personality who took on too much only to fumble things up constantly. Polyvalence, yea that's it, I bring Polyvalence to the table!  I don't put up with dramatic scenes very well now, it's all manipulation and I'll have none of it in my relationships. I may come across as uncaring over petty stuff but I'm on the ball with everything else. Sorry that you had such a hard time john and i understand your decision to protect yourself from the drama in your life. All of us have developped defensive strategies against a number of ills. i guess your challenge will be to find a balance in how you protect yourself from drama while still letting your girl know that you truly care about the little things that matter to her and hopefully she will do the same for you. And i guess u are looking for a balanced partnership too. With the next female where you are not totally leading or not totally following. Thank s for your contribution john and Good luck to you The little things that matter to her should be etched in every male psyche, well because, we know they matter to her... It's the moving targets that some women blur the lines of what's truly important to them VS what's super important to them at that precise moment in time. It's not always easy for a man to manage a womans expectations on a regular basis. The hoops they would rather us jump through to prove ourselves to them become annoying and ultimately unnecessary... eventually, it becomes draining and we check out, mentally. Every man or woman brings something to a relationship, question is, is it appreciated? a lot of times, not enough IMO. Mea Culpa!
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Umm.. how about .. we are good at being women's whipping posts..
.. we are someone you can always roll your eyes up at. When we say something stupid.. Were the one person you can blame when something breaks or needs fixing.. .. without us you would never be lost and you would always be on time.. Yup |
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Edited by
Annierooroo
on
Tue 01/19/16 10:57 AM
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Sad to say No1 in what you are saying is true. I agree with you.
I think there is fault with both female and male. |
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Yup..I guess apart from being great companions for each other... and of course being able to get... each other off physically.. much more so.. than any electronic device..wink.. and the fact that we need each other to make babies... at least outside of the laboratory...lol.... I suppose in this day and age we don't really need each other.... so I guess if you're not going to be lovers or friends...... what is that going to make us... two species of opposite sexes competing for the same resources...ummm.. yeah ladies good luck with that one... because if we had to fight over resources who do you think would win..hmmmm... yep I guess we are good for something..lol
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I've had 2 long term relationships The first, I was the leading role, not really by choice but without me, nothing was ever decided on, kinda like constant limbo or stagnation so I would always take the initiative and plan stuff for us to do. Of course I'd be the one to blame if things went sideways The second, I was the supporting cast, the family fireman, always putting out the fires(so to speak) created by a scattered and flippant personality who took on too much only to fumble things up constantly. Polyvalence, yea that's it, I bring Polyvalence to the table! I don't put up with dramatic scenes very well now, it's all manipulation and I'll have none of it in my relationships. I may come across as uncaring over petty stuff but I'm on the ball with everything else. Sorry that you had such a hard time john and i understand your decision to protect yourself from the drama in your life. All of us have developped defensive strategies against a number of ills. i guess your challenge will be to find a balance in how you protect yourself from drama while still letting your girl know that you truly care about the little things that matter to her and hopefully she will do the same for you. And i guess u are looking for a balanced partnership too. With the next female where you are not totally leading or not totally following. Thank s for your contribution john and Good luck to you The little things that matter to her should be etched in every male psyche, well because, we know they matter to her... It's the moving targets that some women blur the lines of what's truly important to them VS what's super important to them at that precise moment in time. It's not always easy for a man to manage a womans expectations on a regular basis. The hoops they would rather us jump through to prove ourselves to them become annoying and ultimately unnecessary... eventually, it becomes draining and we check out, mentally. Every man or woman brings something to a relationship, question is, is it appreciated? a lot of times, not enough IMO. Mea Culpa! Well we are straying from the topic alot lol but detours are enjoyable too . Most of us are here looking for a good match for us . But do u ever feel like alot of us are running away from something in our past instead of running toward something we want for our future? Like we are so nervous about encountering resurgences of drama from our past that its occupies a oredominant space in our minds? How do you tgink we can work around that?
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I've had 2 long term relationships The first, I was the leading role, not really by choice but without me, nothing was ever decided on, kinda like constant limbo or stagnation so I would always take the initiative and plan stuff for us to do. Of course I'd be the one to blame if things went sideways The second, I was the supporting cast, the family fireman, always putting out the fires(so to speak) created by a scattered and flippant personality who took on too much only to fumble things up constantly. Polyvalence, yea that's it, I bring Polyvalence to the table! I don't put up with dramatic scenes very well now, it's all manipulation and I'll have none of it in my relationships. I may come across as uncaring over petty stuff but I'm on the ball with everything else. Sorry that you had such a hard time john and i understand your decision to protect yourself from the drama in your life. All of us have developped defensive strategies against a number of ills. i guess your challenge will be to find a balance in how you protect yourself from drama while still letting your girl know that you truly care about the little things that matter to her and hopefully she will do the same for you. And i guess u are looking for a balanced partnership too. With the next female where you are not totally leading or not totally following. Thank s for your contribution john and Good luck to you The little things that matter to her should be etched in every male psyche, well because, we know they matter to her... It's the moving targets that some women blur the lines of what's truly important to them VS what's super important to them at that precise moment in time. It's not always easy for a man to manage a womans expectations on a regular basis. The hoops they would rather us jump through to prove ourselves to them become annoying and ultimately unnecessary... eventually, it becomes draining and we check out, mentally. Every man or woman brings something to a relationship, question is, is it appreciated? a lot of times, not enough IMO. Mea Culpa! Well we are straying from the topic alot lol but detours are enjoyable too . Most of us are here looking for a good match for us . But do u ever feel like alot of us are running away from something in our past instead of running toward something we want for our future? Like we are so nervous about encountering resurgences of drama from our past that its occupies a oredominant space in our minds? How do you tgink we can work around that? I dunno Peggy, conversation threads like this are a great start? For me, I need easy going, I have that now and her favorite saying is: "there are no problems, only situations" I like that and I believe her |
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Tue 01/19/16 12:28 PM
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Well we are straying from the topic alot lol but detours are enjoyable too . Most of us are here looking for a good match for us . But do u ever feel like alot of us are running away from something in our past instead of running toward something we want for our future? Like we are so nervous about encountering resurgences of drama from our past that its occupies a oredominant space in our minds? How do you tgink we can work around that? I dunno Peggy, conversation threads like this are a great start? For me, I need easy going, I have that now and her favorite saying is: "there are no problems, only situations" I like that and I believe her Sounds awesome. Seems like a great thing to do . Focus on your happy present/future and not on your past. You seem to be on your way. Congrats John |
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Tue 01/19/16 12:23 PM
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Yup..I guess apart from being great companions for each other... and of course being able to get... each other off physically.. much more so.. than any electronic device..wink.. and the fact that we need each other to make babies... at least outside of the laboratory...lol.... I suppose in this day and age we don't really need each other.... so I guess if you're not going to be lovers or friends...... what is that going to make us... two species of opposite sexes competing for the same resources...ummm.. yeah ladies good luck with that one... because if we had to fight over resources who do you think would win..hmmmm... yep I guess we are good for something..lol If you read at least 2 pages of this thread no 1, you will discover that we women have MANY uses for you outside of the bedroom. Who knew? Stay tuned... 
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Well I think every woman knows why a man is required in their life and I am sure you also know the reason. Lot of women in this thread have mentioned it even in bullet points Men play many roles in a woman life like a father, friend, partner, son, etc Every role has its own importance. Anyway I think the question in your mind is related to role of a husband so let me also try some bullet points 1. Keeps all your secrets even sexual ones. Women share between them everything but men don`t share especially the sexual stuff. 2. Helps making decisions for you. It is quite normal for women to be confused with choices or options or ideas and there comes the man in picture. 3. Protect and makes you feel safe (most places) 4. Makes you laugh and cry alot 5. Physical and emotional support. Well you get that from women too but you know the difference when your man gives it to you. There are many others too but I don`t like to write so much. I have seen many women saying that they are happy alone but still as soon as they find a right guy all their happiness gets attached to that guy. Odd things you come up with ... 1 is nothing whatsoever to do with 'doing something for a woman', it's to do with how men are wired. It's more to do with keeping your own secrets, not ours. 2 very patronizing view. We are not simpletons. This is exactly the obsolete old-fashioned view that we have to get rid of if we want to get somewhere as a species 4 not gender related at all 5 like you say: women give that too. Very much so. . . Well TMom and you had covered most obvious points and also I wanted to point out some other small observations. 1. This is useful to many women especially in big cities as they want to share their secrets with someone without any fear. Hope you understand my point now. 2. I don`t know about you but I have seen this with my mom, my gfs, my friends, etc. I am not saying women are dumb but in certain situations they get confused and if you are still unsure please watch some movies  5. Yes women give that too but with a man it is a different feeling. It is like the difference between using a toy and doing with a real thing. 
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Main reason is to keep stories shorter...men are concerned with the results...women with the journey.
As one comedian said(forget his name). (paraphrased) I came home and told my wife that our mutual friend Ted and Nancy were getting a divorce. Wife's questions went a mile a minute. Wife: "Why? What happened? How long have they been thinking about it? was it his decisions or hers? Who's going to get the kids? Are they selling their house? are they moving?" Guy Comedian: "don't know...didn't ask" Wife: "Why wouldn't ask? this is important!" Guy: "Well we were at the gym, Ted looks at me as I'm spotting him ans says the wife and him are getting a divorce, i asked him if he was ok, he said yes, i told him sorry, he said thanks and that was the end of conversation." See men are needed to keep things short and simple 
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My child needs me to raise him. A partner in a relationship would be nice but as you say not a necessity. Solo is not as satisfying for some odd reason.
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I guess that sums me up in many areas. 'Short and Simple'
Got to work with what I got. |
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If it wasn't for men, BBQ wouldn't exist!!!
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Edited by
metalwing
on
Tue 01/19/16 02:59 PM
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If it wasn't for men, BBQ wouldn't exist!!! Women cannot grunt properly to BBQ!!!!! |
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If it wasn't for men, BBQ wouldn't exist!!! Truer words have never been spoken ! Who wants to live in a world without barbeque???
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Men bring romantic love .. . No matter how I feel Or What I am dealing with he has this ability to make me smile .. Make me forget .. . He draws me into the safety of us . ... there is nothing that compares . His boyish nature embraces fun and spontaneity .. He teaches me to embrace and focus on what is important . His laughter becomes my laughter .. His passion .. My passion. What does he bring to my life ..he brings himself and all that makes him the man he is . He brings a meaning to my life .. .. To our life .. That only close sharing can bring ... He brings romantic love .. And all that his heart is capable of . ^^^^that is on a good day .. Laughing .. There are days when he makes me cry.. Makes me frustrated .. Makes me so mad i want to punish his *** . My feelings truly are a roller coaster of sensitivities with him and I would not wish it to be any other way . He brings put all my emotions .. My passions .. He speaks to my heart .. Imagine Rows of hearts .. My icons are not working .. Laughing This is an awesome tribute to love . We need to give your post its own thread lucky girl!
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