Sweet! What qualities/services in your opinion does a man offer to enhance your life?

Qualities Include : Intellectual/Social, Emotional/Spiritual, & Physical/Financial. Of course, no one's going to "Have It All" but as the song goes, "Two out of three ain't bad..."

...was just pondering this thought...Lilith copped an attitude on being mans equal ..even went as far as believing man was basically not necessary...funny how God put a stop to it then...the woman putting on the pants on top of everything else ...kinda made it hard to find a good man...his worst competition is the lady he wants to be with...

Peggy, what is your motivation for posing these questions?

What makes me and every huMAN valuable is potential. Potential for empathy, humility, compassion, cooperation, generosity etc.

You seem to be after tangible characteristics that might be perceived as masculine, that may give some a sense of gender specific worth?


That's a very relevant question and I am glad you asked it technovative. I cant speak for cultures around the world, but in my country it is popular to hear women say " We dont need a man. We are making our own money, raising kids by ourselves etc. All we really need men for is sex and procreation. The sociologists and psychologists in my country have been saying that because women are now taking up all the traditional roles and responsibilities that men felt a sense of power/pride in, that they are now feeling emasculated and that the root of domestic violence in my country is because of their resentment over losing their power. I cant say if that is true for men internationally, but I wanted to hear people's thoughts about how they viewed the importance of men's roles and what they bring to the table. What I found interesting was that the men in this thread either didnt feel like answering the question which is fine with me or they genuinely couldnt articulate what they brought to a relationship outside of sex and procreation. I totally understand that not all men are the same but there are some common characteristics that many people observe about gender . Almost every person I have met has told me for eg that their fathers commands inspired the swiftest response from them as kids without even any threat of violence. That is just one eg of the traits that is more common in the male gender than the female. Ofcourse there are exceptions to the rule There always are, but I am speaking generally

soooo true. I have experienced all of the qualities you mentioned in females and yet when it comes from a male , there is something so reaffirming about it that is so hard to explain

...was just pondering this thought...Lilith copped an attitude on being mans equal ..even went as far as believing man was basically not necessary...funny how God put a stop to it then...the woman putting on the pants on top of everything else ...kinda made it hard to find a good man...his worst competition is the lady he wants to be with...


Great point kindlightheart. You are preaching to the choir thankfully . I am in agreement with you. Men are not our competitors in the home. They are our allies. I dont care what some women say . There are things that men as a gender bring to the table that in my mind are not replaceable. And I genuinely asked myself if people truly understood that even though some of men's traditional roles have been taken up by women, that they there are sooooo many other things that they bring to the able. some are personality driven of course, but I believe that some are gender specific as well. My question was not intended to challenge the worth of men. It was to challenge everyone in this thread to consider the extent of a man's worth outside of their traditional roles

Hahahahaha!!! There is nooooooo way that a battery operated device will substitute for what you got in your arsenal downtownmotown .

(.... the streets have been talking ...)

I don't know I think men still have their uses
They do come handy for jobs that we don't want to do.
Some can cook great meals.
What about the men's who do a lot of things for other people?
So let's not be to hard on the men and be grateful for what they do do.
Remember there are some things you need a man for that a replacement just does not do.

I believe that humanity is moving towards a more gender neutral balance. Where a [heterosexual] man who is aware of his feminine qualities, feels free to express them without fear of ridicule, and considers them a strength that complements his masculinity. And the reciprocal for [heterosexual] women. Those who's identity is strongly rooted in rigidly defined roles will likely be resistant. Both genders can incorporate the strengths of masculine & feminine traits without losing or degrading their gender identity.

I believe that humanity is moving towards a more gender neutral balance. Where a [heterosexual] man who is aware of his feminine qualities, feels free to express them without fear of ridicule, and considers them a strength that complements his masculinity. And the reciprocal for [heterosexual] women. Those who's identity is strongly rooted in rigidly defined roles will likely be resistant. Both genders can incorporate the strengths of masculine & feminine traits without losing or degrading their gender identity.


Excellent, Great Point!

.. to squish the spiders of course..Lol
Umm.. to empty out the mouse traps...
. Basically to do all the things women don't like to do....yup..wink

I believe that humanity is moving towards a more gender neutral balance. Where a [heterosexual] man who is aware of his feminine qualities, feels free to express them without fear of ridicule, and considers them a strength that complements his masculinity. And the reciprocal for [heterosexual] women. Those who's identity is strongly rooted in rigidly defined roles will likely be resistant. Both genders can incorporate the strengths of masculine & feminine traits without losing or degrading their gender identity.


Great point . I will be elated when polarization of every kind is eradicated altogether... But as with religious rigidity, racial profiling and even class discrimination , I suspect it will take some time ..And until then, I don't see any harm in reaffirming a gender that has undergone severe ego bruising over the past decade. If forums have been created for shameless gender bashing, then the same can be done for gender upliftment.

I agree, and appreciate your motivation now that I better understand it.

And I appreciate your poignant question technovative . It was almost as lovely an offering as the red scrotum warmer which was sent to be in the thread

I cant speak for cultures around the world, but in my country it is popular to hear women say " We dont need a man. We are making our own money, raising kids by ourselves etc. All we really need men for is sex and procreation. The sociologists and psychologists in my country have been saying that because women are now taking up all the traditional roles and responsibilities that men felt a sense of power/pride in, that they are now feeling emasculated and that the root of domestic violence in my country is because of their resentment over losing their power. I cant say if that is true for men internationally, but I wanted to hear people's thoughts about how they viewed the importance of men's roles and what they bring to the table. What I found interesting was that the men in this thread either didnt feel like answering the question which is fine with me or they genuinely couldnt articulate what they brought to a relationship outside of sex and procreation. I totally understand that not all men are the same but there are some common characteristics that many people observe about gender . Almost every person I have met has told me for eg that their fathers commands inspired the swiftest response from them as kids without even any threat of violence. That is just one eg of the traits that is more common in the male gender than the female. Ofcourse there are exceptions to the rule There always are, but I am speaking generally
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peggy122

The clear priority is known. Every country has thousands of women's support groups that are well funded by many levels of government to assist change. In all of Canada "not one" men's support group is government funded by any level of government. I would expect the same in the U.S.
The surplus male youth are removed from society. Why am I am a very rare extinct species, if our changed society is inclusive.

The typical male qualities: Wanting to give and please his woman, provide and protect both her and their offspring.
A man also brings focus, action, initiative, logic & ratio.

How that pans out depends on context: Influence & behaviour of his parents -mostly his mother-, his (ex) spouse, his own personality etc.

I do not believe we are moving towards a more gender neutral society. People had that 'unisex' idea in the 80s, it proved to not work out. We are NOT unisex and never will be. Not physically, not emotionally, not mentally. We are different, and that's how we're meant to be. We are supposed to complement each other.
We are going towards a more balanced society that respects and embraces both the feminine and masculine. We're working on integrating our anima (men) and animus (women).
That's NOT gender neutral, that is about finally getting it right! Basically the Yin Yang symbol. Women not being in conflict with their Yang (animus) and men not being in conflict with their Yin (anima) anymore.
The fact that that inner conflict came to be, is due to a very patriarchal society that skewed our inner balance. Which is okay, we learnt a great deal from that and it will help us to get it right.

We're not there yet, as I see it the high divorce rate is part of that --> trying to fine-tune our inner Yin/Yang. We need to 'test' what works and what doesn't. As we go through all these changes, it is very difficult to 'test' all this with 1 partner. Having 1 teacher only would give us a very narrow-minded view. You can't base anything much on a narrow-minded view, that's exactly what we have done for centuries.
That's why I don't see the high divorce rate as a problem. It's a great thing that we have the option and freedom to learn, grow and fine-tune our inner balance that way!
Single women often tend to get an overly active Yang --> too masculine, which will repel men. A man doesn't want a love relationship with another man, not even if he's in a female body.
So women will have to fine-tune, find the right setting.
The same thing goes for men, but then the other way around.

Women entered this entire process before men did. At first men sort of tagged along, they had no choice, lol. Many very reluctantly, even digging in their heels.
Recent years -approx. 10 yrs- you see more and more men starting to 'wake up' and actively go through their own process of empowerment.

I think if you give it 2 more generation, we will have most of it sussed.
There are men and women who already got it sussed, we all learn at our own speed and time.
In general in even varies per country, and I'm not just talking 3rd world and/or Islamic countries, but Western ones.

You want more? I can go on for quite some time on this. My favourite subject.
ANd there's so much more interesting stuff to discuss concerning this all!
Apart from the first bit, it is digressing from your OP, sorry... but the "gender neutral" thing got me going.

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some us were born in the 60's
were kids in the 70's
young adults in 80's


we have seen the 'revolution' so to speak
and the aftermath of it

we have seen the world when most traditional families
were still tied into these rather rigid gender roles
where daddy worked and mommy stayed home with the kids


we have seen the onset of the career woman
who climbed the corporate ladder
became a CEO

the 'do it all' dolly and with that came the onset of heart disease
and an increase in alcoholism

the corporate women's suit and shoulder pads and trying to look and act like a man at the expense of her own feminity


the man was supposed to do what now? be a gentleman to this new 'empowered' woman or treat her like just another guy
stop doing what he was taught to do? stand at dinner table, open car door for her, help her on with her jacket?

now that was condescending to her entire sex?? where was the memo on that?

men over time...the 80's and 90's began taking on some of these roles that women traditionally have done
perhaps he worked less hours and was content to be the one picking the kids up from school as she became the major bread winner

fathers became much more involved in their childcare aspect of parenting
and did more than just man the grill or show up for a baseball game on a saturday morning


funny to me..as an older observer that women ..were so ghung ho to go out and prove that they could do it all, take on a career and kids

that in some ways, some women have taken over these more masculine qualities whether they be a good fit or not
don't get me wrong I am a single mom of a 15 year old
I understand that sometimes you have to do these things
or you ain't a gonna make it

and these women would only accept a man in their lives that did the traditional feminine role at home.." oh Michael, he cooks and cleans. I have him well trained

entire generations of these kind of flip flop of roles

but yet I see...women complaining now
that their husbands are anxiety ridden
that they get upset easily, cry too much
that they have to be reassured constantly
too needy, too clingy

do I see it balancing out? not yet

Oh my god doug. I cant believe what you said about the none funding of male support groups. That bothers me Thanks for sharing that. It reminds me how ffar society still has to go

You want more? I can go on for quite some time on this. My favourite subject.
ANd there's so much more interesting stuff to discuss concerning this all!
Apart from the first bit, it is digressing from your OP, sorry... but the "gender neutral" thing got me going.

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No need to apologise for the digression crystal . I never consider lengthy discourse as rambling as long as i am learning something from it and i am learning alot.! Your contribution was stellar as always. From what i read, you and technovative actually had similar ideas while using different terminology to describe them . i gathered from both of your ideologies that we all have male and female sensibilities in us , but societies conventions cause us to surpress some of these natural inclinations because as per usual, society is given to forcing multi layered constucts into a tiny stuffy box i never thought about the positive relationship between divorce and the balancing process of gender energies. Thats FASCINATING to me . Ofcourse divorce is a complexed dynamic but a never considered that particular strand of it before. I hope I wasn"t the only one learning something new in this thread.