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| Topic: Men: What do we need them for? | |
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I had a lot of answers to give, but couldn't articulate them very well. I was deleting a lot because I think men are very important but couldn't really explain why I feel that way. I want men in my life and I enjoy them. No worries cantinidao. I am sure the men in this thread will read your sweet sentiments and blush themselves to sleep tonight lol |
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# 1. Adventure / Females have empathy Males have the empathy with an over abundance of instant action “vicarious”. * An example is a car stopped on the highway road shoulder / who stops to help? (males) The unplanned reactive adventure, only a man can bring into a relationship. This vicarious is both good and bad. Giving women, good adventures and bad adventures. But it is an adventure # 2. Ability / Knowing the depth of your strength and weakness, she still has confidence in your abilities. We men love to brag of our strengths and marketing helps to provide with “man cars”. Fear, hesitation and such show the weakness in our abilities. We carry this weakness very deeply, or would not be able to function. This is why men hate to open-up, it would bring into question our ability. A male's sense of adventure... Hmmm... I never thought about that before as a contribution to a relationship... but now that I think about it, guys are prone to be more spontaneous and less inclined to worry about physical dangers of adventures. I can see how that could keep a relationship spicy and alive! That's a good one Doug! And the word I would use for your second point is confidence and I have noticed that men second guess themselves less than women. I can see how that would help in decision making relating to domestic issues in particular. Personally,I love men to be strong and confident but those rare occasions when they admit frailty , it actually makes me fall more deeply in love with them . Very relevant contribution there Doug..  |
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So we all know that gender roles have evolved considerably. In years past, a man"s value in the home/relationship was rooted in his pedominant role as financial provider, physical protector, decision maker and child disciplinarian. With some of those roles having been usurped by women over time, I ask.... 1. What INVALUABLE qualities / services APART FROM SEX and the procreation process, do men have to offer in a relationship /home? 2. In the absence of being the main financial provider, what service do you bring as a man to your home/relationship that makes you feel MOST proud or validated as a man? Indeed gender roles have evolved considerably, wherein men and women now are equal, meaning whatever a man can do , a woman can also do or vice versa. In a relationship, both gender plays a vital role sharing a common interest for the whole family. A house is not a home without a man or a woman. To build a home , there should be partnership where both cooperate and contribute what they need to share. A man is the pillar and the woman is the light. Each one possess strength and a man has the power within him that a woman lacks but there are times that a man becomes weak wherein the woman becomes his strength. A man always show his masculinity and is afraid to show weakness , but men cry too and the love of his life will always be there to comfort and strengthen him. And there's nothing wrong with that, I feel good when I see my man admits defeat or shows his weakness because I know he would need me to comfort or encourage him. It's about needing, loving and understanding each other. Men nowadays are not ashamed to show their soft feminine side, and they even know how to do housechores well, they are good cook   and they are good with children, they can definitely take care of them. Most of my friends , I have seen how they managed to strive with their relationships by helping each other, their men are willing to do the part of a woman/mother when needed. An admirable trait of a man is when he can do what a woman does inside the house and how to manage the house and the kids when the mother is not around. Oooh I have seen that with my father too, when my mom was sick or was not around. Furthermore , a man completes a woman. Life would be lonely and cold without the loving and warm embrace of a man. Life will have no meaning if not shared with a man who can give a total fulfillment of how it is to be a woman and fully understand the essence of a woman for being a wife and a mother. The presence of a man in a woman's life makes a whole lot of difference. Here's s favorite song of my aunt who used to sing this to my uncle , they had some ups and downs in their relationship but they managed to survive. Hope you will listen to this....... "A House Is Not A Home" A chair is still a chair Even when there's no one sittin' there But a chair is not a house And a house is not a home When there's no one there to hold you tight And no one there you can kiss goodnight Woah girl A room is a still a room Even when there's nothin' there but gloom But a room is not a house And a house is not a home When the two of us are far apart And one of us has a broken heart Now and then I call your name And suddenly your face appears But it's just a crazy game When it ends, it ends in tears Pretty little darling, have a heart Don't let one mistake keep us apart I'm not meant to live alone Turn this house into a home When I climb the stairs and turn the key Oh, please be there Sayin' that you're still in love with me, yeah I'm not meant to live alone Turn this house into a home I climb the stairs and turn the key Oh, please be there, still in love I said, still in love, still in love with me, yeah Are you gonna be in love with me? I want you and need you to be, yeah Still in love with me Say you're gonna be in love with me It's drivin' me crazy to think That my baby couldn't be still in love with me Are you gonna be? Say you're gonna be Are you gonna be? Say you're gonna be Are you gonna be? Say you're gonna be Well well, well well Still in love, so in love, still in love with me Are you gonna be? Say that you're gonna be Still in love with me, yeah With me, oh Still in love with me, yeah |
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"And the word I would use for your second point is confidence and I have noticed that men second guess themselves less than women. I can see how that would help in decision making relating to domestic issues in particular. Personally,I love men to be strong and confident but those rare occasions when they admit frailty , it actually makes me fall more deeply in love with them"
_________________________________________________________________________ * Confidence does not fix a car. Nor does it move a mountain, build a corporation. It is ability not confidence when you give a speech. "behind every great man stands a woman (rolling her eyes)" 
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So we all know that gender roles have evolved considerably. In years past, a man"s value in the home/relationship was rooted in his pedominant role as financial provider, physical protector, decision maker and child disciplinarian. With some of those roles having been usurped by women over time, I ask.... 1. What INVALUABLE qualities / services APART FROM SEX and the procreation process, do men have to offer in a relationship /home? 2. In the absence of being the main financial provider, what service do you bring as a man to your home/relationship that makes you feel MOST proud or validated as a man? Indeed gender roles have evolved considerably, wherein men and women now are equal, meaning whatever a man can do , a woman can also do or vice versa. In a relationship, both gender plays a vital role sharing a common interest for the whole family. A house is not a home without a man or a woman. To build a home , there should be partnership where both cooperate and contribute what they need to share. A man is the pillar and the woman is the light. Each one possess strength and a man has the power within him that a woman lacks but there are times that a man becomes weak wherein the woman becomes his strength. A man always show his masculinity and is afraid to show weakness , but men cry too and the love of his life will always be there to comfort and strengthen him. And there's nothing wrong with that, I feel good when I see my man admits defeat or shows his weakness because I know he would need me to comfort or encourage him. It's about needing, loving and understanding each other. Men nowadays are not ashamed to show their soft feminine side, and they even know how to do housechores well, they are good cook and they are good with children, they can definitely take care of them. Most of my friends , I have seen how they managed to strive with their relationships by helping each other, their men are willing to do the part of a woman/mother when needed. An admirable trait of a man is when he can do what a woman does inside the house and how to manage the house and the kids when the mother is not around. Oooh I have seen that with my father too, when my mom was sick or was not around. Furthermore , a man completes a woman. Life would be lonely and cold without the loving and warm embrace of a man. Life will have no meaning if not shared with a man who can give a total fulfillment of how it is to be a woman and fully understand the essence of a woman for being a wife and a mother. That song you quoted is one of my favorite songs dolphin0925! i love me some Luthur Vandross  Like you, I do love that women now have increased support now that many of their traditional roles are now being shared with men. It is so ironic that the evolution of roles which has theoretically allowed both genders to be a better support to each other in theory , is actually tearing us apart. That competitive spirit that women incarnated to thrive in the workplace has seemed to have pummeled its way into our relationships and homes. It's hard after kicking azz in the boardroom all morning, for a woman to come home and be soft and nurturing to her mate at night.It must be also very difficult after a man kisses away his kid's booboo to not develop an over sensitivity to domestic issues that his tougher former self was immune to. According to TMommy and CrystalFairy, we really have a lot of kinks to work out... |
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Invaluable qualities do men bring to a relationship?
Shooting from the hip I would say what don't they bring but then it does come down to the man you pick and who picks you. Think a lot of it has to do with how you see men. If your experience is good you see them as delicious multiple choice because while they may have a lot in common they are still individuals and have special nuances that keep life interesting. While men are generally amenable they are still going to surprise you every once in a while. Especially the really good ones. I don't want to go over board on the concept that men see things differently from women but I do think that is often the case. I don't know if that is because of how they are hard wired or their life experience/perspective is different but having a partner that doesn't mirror everything you are, I find man women relationships are easier, is pretty awesome. Probably I have had more experience working with and being friends with men but I find men easier to get along with. Rare that I have ever had a man compete with me, pull the sister friend card and stab me in the back, fail to put the mission behind petty jealousy. Or cut their nose off to spite their face. And if they have the hots for you they just say so straight up and no dancing around about it. Not that all men are loyal but they do tend to keep their promises and that no quit attitude is not always a bad thing. |
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Edited by
ErotiDoug
on
Wed 01/20/16 09:05 PM
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My child needs me to raise him. A partner in a relationship would be nice but as you say not a necessity. Solo is not as satisfying for some odd reason. EROTIdoug earlier in this conversation thread talked about his contribution as a single dad and i told him that single dads were a special category of men ,but i was speaking about men generally. Is it that you are saying that men in general . But now that u have brought it up again, i am asking you and erotidoug in particular... do you think that you as a man make a special contribution to parenting that woman can not substitute? I know it sounds like a dumb question on the surface... BUT... there are single mothers who have been arguing that they can parent their sons in particular just as competently as if a father was around. I disagree whole heartedly on this. Not many men have commented seriously in this thread but i.would be so excited to hear their views on this! I am keeping my fingers crossed!  Oh!!!  there are single mothers who have been arguing that they can parent their sons in particular just as competently as if a father was around. (and how is that working out) With their young'un world, dominated by females and little if any (positive) adult male mentoring. * I feel with the life tool box they have, they will relate to the world as victims. (with repressed maleness) * Through-out history single parent’s have existed. But never have the governments pressed the scale so hard. Demanding children be raised by females only. Why! (I have no idea) Is it so the children will reflect the nurturing or the other extreme, passiveness as they become adults. I do know one quarter of Americans have been arrested, my gut says predominantly male. * Do single dads kids excel at school always? (W.I.S.C. scores done) Years ago I stopped opening the report cards, just file them. They both dislike school, is it the feminism structurally (safety) or the feminism emphases? Since they were very young I have tried to tilt them toward Research, a lofty goal. As men will their society be inclusive or exclusive. If exclusive will they slide into (wiki) anarchism. (eh! I try to read wiki every night, till grrrrr M2 took over)   **** I do enjoy the forums, darn mail is a distraction  |
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Thu 01/21/16 03:00 AM
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1. What INVALUABLE qualities / services APART FROM SEX and the procreation process, do men have to offer in a relationship /home? 2. In the absence of being the main financial provider, what service do you bring as a man to your home/relationship that makes you feel MOST proud or validated as a man? Helping her see herself through my eyes. So she is reminded, every day, what a wonderful, beautiful, loving, and loved gem she really is. Plus.. I'm great at fixing shyt. Welcome back to the thread panchovillia! As with dodo david,the wait was worth it! Thats amazing when a guy can reaffirm a woman like that. I dont know if its because of the bass in a man"s voice or the girth of his anatomical being, , but when the man you love tells you that you are awesome or that everything is gonna be ok... Good Lord! I feel it in my pancreas! I think the word i would use for what you described is "reaffirm" and guys do it superbly . Nice contribution Panchovilla . PS: Fixing shyte is a big plus. There's a saying... If a woman doesnt think you're handsome, let her at least think you re handy!
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Invaluable qualities do men bring to a relationship? Shooting from the hip I would say what don't they bring but then it does come down to the man you pick and who picks you. Think a lot of it has to do with how you see men. If your experience is good you see them as delicious multiple choice because while they may have a lot in common they are still individuals and have special nuances that keep life interesting. While men are generally amenable they are still going to surprise you every once in a while. Especially the really good ones. I don't want to go over board on the concept that men see things differently from women but I do think that is often the case. I don't know if that is because of how they are hard wired or their life experience/perspective is different but having a partner that doesn't mirror everything you are, I find man women relationships are easier, is pretty awesome. Probably I have had more experience working with and being friends with men but I find men easier to get along with. Rare that I have ever had a man compete with me, pull the sister friend card and stab me in the back, fail to put the mission behind petty jealousy. Or cut their nose off to spite their face. And if they have the hots for you they just say so straight up and no dancing around about it. Not that all men are loyal but they do tend to keep their promises and that no quit attitude is not always a bad thing. Well being friends with someone of the opposite sex is a totally different animal to being their mate. The expectations and stakes are higher in a relationship, thereby interferring with the level of tolerance and forgiveness that we typically have for our friends. This is only compounded by the dymamic of competition between the genders in the home ,which evolving gender roles has sparked in us.I think it was charles 1962 who suggested in another thread that we should think of our mates as our friends and I think that might help us along nicely |
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Main reason is to keep stories shorter...men are concerned with the results...women with the journey. As one comedian said(forget his name). (paraphrased) I came home and told my wife that our mutual friend Ted and Nancy were getting a divorce. Wife's questions went a mile a minute. Wife: "Why? What happened? How long have they been thinking about it? was it his decisions or hers? Who's going to get the kids? Are they selling their house? are they moving?" Guy Comedian: "don't know...didn't ask" Wife: "Why wouldn't ask? this is important!" Guy: "Well we were at the gym, Ted looks at me as I'm spotting him ans says the wife and him are getting a divorce, i asked him if he was ok, he said yes, i told him sorry, he said thanks and that was the end of conversation." See men are needed to keep things short and simple  I cant disagree with u there! I can ramble for hours if i dont take my sedatives
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Thu 01/21/16 07:57 PM
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Try raid insecticide. Muah! 
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Try raid insecticide. Muah!  Hell No! I ain't getting THAT close much less spraying any creepy critter on the ceiling with anything! Why?!? So the fracking insect could fall on meeeeeee?!? Yikes!!! NO WAY!!! "Need A Man" for that;}
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Try raid insecticide. Muah! Hell No! I ain't getting THAT close much less spraying any creepy critter on the ceiling with anything! Why?!? So the fracking insect could fall on meeeeeee?!? Yikes!!! NO WAY!!! "Need A Man" for that;} I got a 22 and if you like I am handy enough to patch the hole afterwards. |
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Well being friends with someone of the opposite sex is a totally different animal to being their mate. The expectations and stakes are higher in a relationship, thereby interferring with the level of tolerance and forgiveness that we typically have for our friends. This is only compounded by the dymamic of competition between the genders in the home ,which evolving gender roles has sparked in us.I think it was charles 1962 who suggested in another thread that we should think of our mates as our friends and I think that might help us along nicely Wow I don't think I could disagree with you more. IMHO if someone is a true mate then friendship, actually liking you, the person would be core and vice versa, and the other parts sex, kids, sharing life in general would just be icing on the cake. I care about my friends a lot but not even remotely as much as I do a mate and if anything that motivates me to amp up my forgiveness and tolerance not make it harder to give. If people are competing with mates in gender roles, old or new, with in the home then the relationship has about the same maturity that a little brother would have when you are eleven and is basically Dead on Arrival as far as a relationship that will last. |
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Rolls change per situation. Thats like asking what is a cookie for. You can say basics.... for eating. Or you can dive deeper. For fun... deeper.... for Love..... now we are on a topic we all enjoy. Love. Is there only one kind of love? Do you love your mom as you do your best friend? Do you love your dad as you love your boyfriend? What are relationships for? Why do we even communicate? Are words the only way to communicate? What is yin and yang? Do we need balance? Why are you here on earth? The answer is Love.
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Edited by
dolphin0925
on
Fri 01/22/16 06:00 AM
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So we all know that gender roles have evolved considerably. In years past, a man"s value in the home/relationship was rooted in his pedominant role as financial provider, physical protector, decision maker and child disciplinarian. With some of those roles having been usurped by women over time, I ask.... 1. What INVALUABLE qualities / services APART FROM SEX and the procreation process, do men have to offer in a relationship /home? 2. In the absence of being the main financial provider, what service do you bring as a man to your home/relationship that makes you feel MOST proud or validated as a man? Indeed gender roles have evolved considerably, wherein men and women now are equal, meaning whatever a man can do , a woman can also do or vice versa. In a relationship, both gender plays a vital role sharing a common interest for the whole family. A house is not a home without a man or a woman. To build a home , there should be partnership where both cooperate and contribute what they need to share. A man is the pillar and the woman is the light. Each one possess strength and a man has the power within him that a woman lacks but there are times that a man becomes weak wherein the woman becomes his strength. A man always show his masculinity and is afraid to show weakness , but men cry too and the love of his life will always be there to comfort and strengthen him. And there's nothing wrong with that, I feel good when I see my man admits defeat or shows his weakness because I know he would need me to comfort or encourage him. It's about needing, loving and understanding each other. Men nowadays are not ashamed to show their soft feminine side, and they even know how to do housechores well, they are good cook and they are good with children, they can definitely take care of them. Most of my friends , I have seen how they managed to strive with their relationships by helping each other, their men are willing to do the part of a woman/mother when needed. An admirable trait of a man is when he can do what a woman does inside the house and how to manage the house and the kids when the mother is not around. Oooh I have seen that with my father too, when my mom was sick or was not around. Furthermore , a man completes a woman. Life would be lonely and cold without the loving and warm embrace of a man. Life will have no meaning if not shared with a man who can give a total fulfillment of how it is to be a woman and fully understand the essence of a woman for being a wife and a mother. That song you quoted is one of my favorite songs dolphin0925! i love me some Luthur Vandross Like you, I do love that women now have increased support now that many of their traditional roles are now being shared with men. It is so ironic that the evolution of roles which has theoretically allowed both genders to be a better support to each other in theory , is actually tearing us apart. That competitive spirit that women incarnated to thrive in the workplace has seemed to have pummeled its way into our relationships and homes. It's hard after kicking azz in the boardroom all morning, for a woman to come home and be soft and nurturing to her mate at night.It must be also very difficult after a man kisses away his kid's booboo to not develop an over sensitivity to domestic issues that his tougher former self was immune to. According to TMommy and CrystalFairy, we really have a lot of kinks to work out... Yes Peggy I like Luther Vandross songs:) It's good to know that women's traditional roles are being shared with men and vice versa actually. It's just so sad that women striving for empowerment has gone overboard. Women have proven that yes we can rule, and we have a say in a man's world. But some women have become very tough that they disregard the need of a man in their lives. Too much pride and the need to prove something to men that they can live and do without them has broken many relationships and homes. A relationship/marriage which should have been a partnership in the real sense of the word has become a competition and filling each other's hearts with pride and created a gap between couples. Instead of appreciating the presence of one another in their lives and working things out together, some men had become a monster in other women's eyes. And men instead of wooing their high spirited women were too busy salvaging their pride and dignity as a man . Whew! What a competitive world we live in can't each one of us just humble down and admit to ourselves that we need each other to work out things together and for a family to be happy a man and a woman have vital roles in the lives of their children. I admit I need a man in my life to make me feel like a natural woman and feel good inside  aaawwww! lol! |
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Fri 01/22/16 07:42 AM
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Try raid insecticide. Muah! Hell No! I ain't getting THAT close much less spraying any creepy critter on the ceiling with anything! Why?!? So the fracking insect could fall on meeeeeee?!? Yikes!!! NO WAY!!! "Need A Man" for that;} Yes. Men are truly needed for spraying bugs. Yet another stellar suggestion of what men can bring to our lives! Your contribution was magnificent. We appreciate you
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Hello peggy122
Were are you?  Your smart and I thought you might want to dig your teeth into and area I find very mmm weird over at the topic "Jada Pinkett Smith "
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Women need men to scratch that hard to reach itchy place on your back
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