Community > Jokes & Funny Stories

Topic: Any One-Line Jokes to Spare?
joethebricky Joined Sat 08/04/12 Posts: 12740	Tue 04/26/16 02:48 PM Edited by joethebricky on Tue 04/26/16 02:49 PM
I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me

kriszo101 Joined Thu 04/07/16 Posts: 80	Tue 04/26/16 03:02 PM
A married lawyer, had fun in his car and forgot the girl’s panty on the car seat. His wife found the panty in the back seat and tore it apart screaming “What is this”? “What is this”? The lawyer calmly replied, “You just destroyed the evidence of a rape case which was worth millions of dollars that I was handling”. She quickly went on her knees apologizing, ‘babe, l’m sorry’.

wolfman3838 Joined Sat 03/26/16 Posts: 1355	Tue 04/26/16 03:13 PM
When a dog wants to die; it does not hear the voice of it's owner That is a very true fact. Sad but true.

wolfman3838 Joined Sat 03/26/16 Posts: 1355	Tue 04/26/16 03:14 PM
A married lawyer, had fun in his car and forgot the girl’s panty on the car seat. His wife found the panty in the back seat and tore it apart screaming “What is this”? “What is this”? The lawyer calmly replied, “You just destroyed the evidence of a rape case which was worth millions of dollars that I was handling”. She quickly went on her knees apologizing, ‘babe, l’m sorry’.

kriszo101 Joined Thu 04/07/16 Posts: 80	Wed 04/27/16 12:56 PM Edited by kriszo101 on Wed 04/27/16 01:07 PM
Bob left work one Friday evening . But it was payday , so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages. When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night , he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions . Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, “ How would you like it if you didn’ t see me for two or three days?” He replied , “ That would be fine with me. ” Monday went by and he didn’ t see his wife . Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results . But on Thursday , the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye .

kriszo101 Joined Thu 04/07/16 Posts: 80	Wed 04/27/16 01:03 PM
A woman gets on a bus with her baby . The driver says : “ Ugh , that’ s the ugliest baby I ’ ve ever seen . ” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down , fuming . She says to the man next to her : “ The driver just insulted me. ” The man says : “ You go up there and tell him off . Go on , I ’ ll hold your monkey for you . ”

wolfman3838 Joined Sat 03/26/16 Posts: 1355	Wed 04/27/16 01:33 PM
Bob left work one Friday evening . But it was payday , so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages. When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night , he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions . Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, “ How would you like it if you didn’ t see me for two or three days?” He replied , “ That would be fine with me. ” Monday went by and he didn’ t see his wife . Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results . But on Thursday , the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye .

wolfman3838 Joined Sat 03/26/16 Posts: 1355	Wed 04/27/16 01:35 PM
A woman gets on a bus with her baby . The driver says : “ Ugh , that’ s the ugliest baby I ’ ve ever seen . ” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down , fuming . She says to the man next to her : “ The driver just insulted me. ” The man says : “ You go up there and tell him off . Go on , I ’ ll hold your monkey for you . ” Very funny....Thanks

joethebricky Joined Sat 08/04/12 Posts: 12740	Wed 04/27/16 02:12 PM
About a month before my Grandfather died we tried to help by covering him in olive oil, but after that he went down hill pretty quickly

joethebricky Joined Sat 08/04/12 Posts: 12740	Wed 04/27/16 02:23 PM
So, what's it like having voices in your head, I hear you ask

joethebricky Joined Sat 08/04/12 Posts: 12740	Wed 04/27/16 02:38 PM
I come from a family of police marksmen Except for my grandfather, he was a bank robber He died recently, surrounded by his family

wolfman3838 Joined Sat 03/26/16 Posts: 1355	Wed 04/27/16 02:50 PM
All three are very good. Thanks

KieMea Joined Sat 04/09/16 Posts: 319	Wed 04/27/16 03:01 PM
Bob left work one Friday evening . But it was payday , so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages. When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night , he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions . Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, “ How would you like it if you didn’ t see me for two or three days?” He replied , “ That would be fine with me. ” Monday went by and he didn’ t see his wife . Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results . But on Thursday , the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye .

Wackford Joined Sat 11/02/13 Posts: 79	Wed 04/27/16 04:06 PM
That's twice my mother-in-law has broken my JCB bucket!

wolfman3838 Joined Sat 03/26/16 Posts: 1355	Wed 04/27/16 04:39 PM


Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48912	Wed 04/27/16 07:51 PM
"Topic: Any One-Line Jokes to Spare?" Ted Cruz formally named Carly Fiorina as his vice presidential running mate. If that isn't a joke, then I don't know what is.

wolfman3838 Joined Sat 03/26/16 Posts: 1355	Wed 04/27/16 08:02 PM
"Topic: Any One-Line Jokes to Spare?" Ted Cruz formally named Carly Fiorina as his vice presidential running mate. If that isn't a joke, then I don't know what is. Glad to see I am not the only one that thinks so

kriszo101 Joined Thu 04/07/16 Posts: 80	Sat 04/30/16 11:41 AM
How do you see this

wolfman3838 Joined Sat 03/26/16 Posts: 1355	Sat 04/30/16 12:18 PM
How do you see this I have seen something similar while in Thailand a few years ago.

KieMea Joined Sat 04/09/16 Posts: 319	Sat 04/30/16 01:41 PM
How do you see this Singing: rain rain go away