We all have had to endure breakups at one point or another – some are quick but painless while others are destabilizing and soul-shattering. Mourning, in the aftermath of a relationship that fails, is hard but also necessary. It’s quite alright to be sad and feel the loss of a partner in the event of a breakup, but some people take it to the next level – they just can’t let go! For them, it can be the hardest thing to do.
So, what to do? How to move forward if you can’t stop thinking about the person who played with your feelings?
The Easy Route
It may come to you like your first instinct to choose to immerse yourself in drugs or alcohol in hopes of getting over the heartache faster. But, none of these are long-term solutions for taking the emotional pain away.
Here are some of the other less harmful ways that can not only help you cope but bring growth and recovery.
1- Get a Hobby
Channeling your energy into something creative can relieve you from post-breakup pain. Adopting a dog, traveling, collecting stamps, for instance, are all some of the hobbies you can choose or perhaps try something new – a dance class? Getting involved with creative DIY projects, new hobbies, and getting to know new people can all go a long way towards redemption. It doesn’t just expand your mind but boosts your self-confidence. (Of course, only after the intensity of emotions – weeping/sorrow phases have gone away)
2- Try a couple Dating sites
Perhaps trying a couple of free dating sites or apps and hitting it off with online dating could help you get over that person. There are a range of free online dating sites that offer free dating. At this point, it suffices to say that you aren’t new to the world of dating sites and hold substantial familiarity with them. But, maybe it’s now time to try out a new dating site that guarantees matches and won’t waste your time.
Looking for dating opportunities even if you don’t want to gives you a change of environment, the chance to meet someone new, and a reason to put on a new dress and look good. You may be terrified of going out in the beginning, but once you are there, you will thoroughly enjoy it.
3- Take a break from Social media
With your ex’s last known status, just a few taps away, handling the breakup can be even tougher. At this point, you need to ask yourself, “Will it bother me to know who my ex is dating now?” and “Is cyberstalking my ex going to affect my mental peace?”. If the answer to either of these questions is a YES, it’s probably best that you pull the plug on the relationship’s online aspect too.
Do realize that social media serves as a medium for most people to project their best selves and hide what’s lying inside. Seeing photos of your ex having the time of their lives doesn’t mean they’ve gotten over you yet – or that you are the only one who is unhappy. But, it can sure look that way – a good reason to hide all their updates to the very least if unfriending doesn’t seem right to you.
Having loads of mutual friends might make it quite difficult for you to avoid catching glimpses of your ex now and then or even check them out. Limit or altogether drop your social media usage until you can log on without the temptation to do so. You can also consider deactivating your social accounts for a while as you heal from the breakup. Instead, you can consider spending more of your time on dating sites or checking out the best dating app to find potential matches.
4- Socialize with a close group of caring friends
After a breakup, your brain longs for the feel-good vibes you got when spending time with your former partner. Therefore, at a critical time such as this, you need people who love you around. Surrounding yourself with such compassionate, supportive family members can help with your healing process to a great extent. The key is not to hesitate to ask for support from friends and family when you need a shoulder to cry.
However, if you are having trouble reaching out to your family, start with the friends around whom you feel the most comfortable. Go out, laugh, and relax a little with those in your life who care about you, and make you feel happy. You will get back on your feet within no time with your loved ones around you.
5- Do NOT stop taking care of yourself
A prevalent trend among people is not to take care of themselves after a breakup. However, you need to make sure that you are catering to your basic needs, such as the ones relating to your mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing.
- Eat well instead of comfort, eating the wrong kind of food. Eat a balanced diet that contains loads of fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein.
- Get enough sleep – 7-8 hours, rather than staying up all night thinking about the past
- Get regular exercise. Dedicate at least 30 minutes for a walk, hitting the gym, or a yoga type activity.
- Take some time out for yourself daily – try meditation, writing your thoughts, reading some books for self-development or listening to a podcast. Make this “me-time.”
Lastly, being able to forget and forgive is the most crucial part of the process to move on – one you must not ignore even if you feel that you do not have to apologize for anything. Finding yourself unable to do so means that even the best online dating sites won’t be able to transition to a successful new relationship.