There is hardly a couple that doesn’t have ups and downs in their life. Two people living together, sharing a toothpaste and breakfast table, and dividing the chores all day, are supposed to get into troubles. There may be some issues, unsaid things, some thoughts that just need to be vented out, or even some quarrels – but that is how life is. That is exactly what a relationship is supposed to be. Well, apart from the all the romance excessively portrayed on the TV, disagreements are a part of life. The key to a healthy and successful relationship is not about having no issues at all. That is so artificial and does not fit well, right? The secret to a happy and contented relationship is not to constantly changing the person you are dating. Actually, it is to understand when and where an intervention is needed. An intelligent couple notices and picks up cues to a disagreement that might lead to a full-blown fight. Be vigilant enough to know when something is not feeling right. Do not worry. We have got your back! Let us help you with a few effective solutions to overcome common relationship problems.
1. No Quality For Each Other
Okay, so this might be one of the most prominent problems arising in this era. Our modern-day lives have us chasing one thing after the other. From working double-shifts at the office to paying mortgages, we have literally no quality time left to spend with each other.
Mind you, spending time together does not mean sitting on the sofa together while buried in your phones all the time. Neither does it include the time you might be spending in the morning, rushing to get that coffee done while checking emails.
Get yourselves a date every day! Yes, you read it right. Start all over again, like the times you had been dating. Fix a time every day when both of you are free, and put all your gadgets aside to spend some quality time together. You can make something delicious at home to eat together, watch a movie, or order something that you both love.
Spending time with each other and enjoying things together is the ultimate solution to this common problem. It eases up tension between the partners. Also, that is how you learn new things about each other and discover what is new in each of your lives.
2. You Lack the Much-Needed Me Time
Some relationships have the habit of overdoing the solution that we mentioned above: doing everything together. This might make your partner stifle, and they might need some time alone. Me time is essential – even for you as you might want to do something that only you like.
Getting some time away from your partner is good and healthy. Do not feel bad if you want to have a quiet time alone, doing whatever you like to do. Get yourself started on some hobby of yours. It is crucial to have some personal space, but it yields a better and more mature relationship.
3. The Same Issues Come Up Again and Again
Are you having fights more frequently and that too on the same topic again and again? If this is so, then you might not be reaching out to each other properly. Repeatedly fighting about the same thing might indicate two things: maybe the real issue is being ignored and not discussed thoroughly, or there is anger displacement. Let us see what to do about it.
Nobody knows your partner better than you. So, analyze if you are repeatedly fighting on the same issue at somewhat around the same time. If this is so, then you might want to look beyond the actual fight. You have to dig deeper and see if some work or household related issue is underlying all the fight.
For example, if you guys always fight about what to watch together and cannot seem to find a solution to it, then maybe you both are just exhausted from the tough working routine. Perhaps, it is the car AC that has not been working, and all that heat is stressing you both out.
The point is, communicate beyond the real issue. Empathize and try and get into your partner’s shoes to understand what is going on. On your part, openly communicate about anything that is stressing you too.
4. You Cannot Stand his/her Family
There is no shame in admitting that you do not like your partner’s family, and spending time with them is the toughest thing you have to do just for your relationship. This problem might take a toll during holidays, such as Thanksgiving or Christmas.
Firstly, understand that just like you did not get to choose your parents, your partner also did not have a choice. They are his/her family, and you cannot change anything about it (maybe except moving to a place in a remote area where you live without internet and phone connection – just saying).
What you can do is to talk to your partner openly about it in a calm environment. Probably with their favorite meal and music, and tell them that you need to tone down the number of visits to his or her family. Make it a deal to spend at least one holiday with them only.
However, the soulful advice would be to realize the fact that they are your partner’s parents, and they need their son’s or daughter’s attention too. Be the mature one here and tolerate the time you spend with them for the sake of your relationship.
5. The Insecurity of the Future
Remember when you started dating, and you could not stop talking about how your future together would be? We tend to take a lot of things for granted over time. If you also feel anxious about your future together, then you are not talking enough about it.
Address the elephant in the room and plan things. Talk to your partner about your dreams and aspirations and how you would want to retire. These little discussions might seem ridiculous, considering you have had everything planned when you got into the relationship. But this will help you feel secure about the future, and bring you on the same page as your partner.